Falling For Your Eyes
by queenlizxo
Summary: Stefan and Elena are highschool sweethearts entering their first year of college. Three years after her parents' death, Elena's becoming restless until Stefan's brother, Damon, returns to town. Damon's arrival reveals the twisted backstory of the Salvatore family, allowing Elena to better understand Stefan while also exploring the mind of his mysterious brother. (AU)
1. Risks

I gaze leisurely across the room trying to make the minutes hasten. Looking to the window for relief, I find no such comfort. The ever present gray clouds are settling in the 10 o'clock Georgia sky. I search the room for a set of familiar eyes, but alas, even among friends I am always in a room full of strangers. As Professor Saltzman prattles on about the Civil War, all we ever seem to discuss in this class, I gradually ease my head on top of my folded arms until I feel a soft tap on my shoulder.

As I turn, there sits my prince charming, my Adonis, my Stefan Salvatore. Am I really this pathetic? Following my high school sweetheart to college was never part of my big plan, but then again, my "big plan" ended the day my parents drove off that bridge. Either way, when am I going to start making my own decisions?

Stefan flashes a charming smirk. He could sense my boredom, along with any other emotions I was ever feeling. He is good that way. Stefan is a people person—he loves people, and people adore him. That's probably why I fell for his advances the second I gazed upon those piercing eyes._ I'd never seen anything like them._

"Elena?" Stefan breathes so nonchalantly.

"Hmm?"

"You're brooding," He smirks.

"I'm just musing. I hate days like this."

"The sun never shines on Briarview. Too much tragedy and whatnot," he says sarcastically.

I wasn't sure what to tell him. Recently, things have changed. As I always do, I'd been over-analyzing every aspect of my existence. Why didn't I go far away, study abroad, or see the world? Staying in Briarview simply to be with a man I've only known for two years must be one of the most naïve decisions ever made. Then again, my two closest friends, Bonnie and Caroline, are always doting over Stefan and his rigid jaw line. Anything that involves being with Stefan is the right decision for me in their minds. Because they're like two little birds chatting in my ear, I never really thought to consider a future independent of Stefan. Do they really think my happiness and well-being depend on whether or not I'm with him? These are the questions I bury. I can't bear to consider how little my friends think of me.

But I can't bury them forever. This time, I need to make a change. Do something about it. It is with this musing that my rebellion begins.

"I think I'm gonna go…" I utter slowly and hesitantly.

"We still have 37 minutes left. Are you sure you're alright?" Stefan asks as he looks at me like he would some strange woman passing him on the street.

Always following the rules. Everything must be perfectly in line, but I can't be this way. Not today.

I nod my head and stand from my seat. I'm unsure of my next move, so I falter a bit. Somehow I make it out alive. Whether I looked like I was having a seizure or a panic attack, I don't know. Though it was small, I made a decision. I did something I wanted, even if it was disruptive and may have earned me a failing grade for the day.

Hey, you've got to start somewhere.


	2. Chance Encounters

The day had started out strange. Where had Elena gone and what was going through her mind when she awkwardly walked out of class? I could tell from her gait that she wasn't sure of what she was doing. She hasn't been herself for a while and I'm not sure why that is. I know she's got a lot of demons. Hell, I've got plenty of my own. But I thought that's what made us so strong. We lean on each other. After all, we're all we've got.

The sun peeks out between the brutal clouds around noon as I walk up the ancient brick steps of my Victorian estate. Once I left the foster system, my family's home was returned to me. I'm glad we chose a school near Briarview. I'm half glad that we're able to live in my childhood home. It holds some dark memories, but living here with Elena has given me a chance to treat those memories like a bad made for TV movie. I'm trying to record over them with the new memories we're making together. We're off to a slow start, but we've got all the time in the world.

As I reach for the brass handle, I gaze straight into the foyer. The immense mahogany door is half open. Could Elena really have been in such a state that she would leave the door wide open? Sure, Briarview isn't known for crime, but this was out of character for her. As I step through the doorway, I look to my left towards the dining room. As my eyes fall upon a half empty bottle of bourbon, my mind rushes back to those dark family memories. Bourbon was my father's drink of choice. After my mother's death, he drank himself mad. His fondness for bourbon eventually clouded his judgment and furthered his misery, which lead him to take his own life when I was just thirteen years old. I don't like to think about my father or how he abandoned me. That's why it's been a blessing to have his spitting image, my brother, gone for so many years.

Who else would come into my family's home, open up a bottle of bourbon, and take a seat near a freshly lit fire? This would be none other than my insensitive, selfish, and ruthless brother, Damon.

"Look who just got back from class! How was your day? Did you make new friends?" Damon snares in his ever so arrogant, sarcastic tone.

"What are you doing here?" I say coldly.

"What? Is it so wrong to come visit my baby brother? What if I missed you?"

"After 2 years of silence I figured I shouldn't expect friendly visits, Damon."

"Let's not get sassy, Stefan. You wanted me to go away, I went away."

"That's strange. Leaving me to the foster system wasn't exactly my idea of brotherhood."

"Different year, same insinuations. You're emotions are showing, Stefan."

Damon is cynical, demeaning, and heartless. Our problems didn't begin with the aftershock of my father's death and they certainly didn't end there either. Everything is a competition between us two, but it's much more than sibling rivalry. I was always mother's favorite, something Damon couldn't live with. Father despised us both, or so it seemed. He loved my mother but never wanted a family. Mother was of high social standing. Their love was something of passion and whim rather than security and progeny. So, we both competed for our mother's affections. Mother favored my gentile qualities and tried to repress Damon's wild nature.

"So, what's there to do in this one horse town? I've seen the new Briarview Pub… Not exactly my scene"

"I'd really appreciate it if you'd leave, Damon. I can't do this right now."

"I should have figured you were busy with that tasty brunette crying in my old bathroom."

Elena was here? Had she met Damon?

One of my biggest fears is coming true in this moment. I never wanted her to meet my past—my dark side.

I turn away from Damon and begin walking towards the grand staircase. My footsteps quicken as I reach the first platform and then continue up the steps. The door to Damon's old bedroom, now Elena's room, is shut and locked. I knock several times until eventually she cracks the door open. Her doe eyes pierce my soul as she peers at me through the crack in the door.

"Elena…" I stumble over which words to use.

Should I ask her about Damon? If she hadn't spoken to him, did she see him? If she doesn't know he's here, I'm going to do my best to keep it that way. I step through the doorway and wrap my arms around her, never wanting to let this moment go: the last moment before my past hits our future like a semi.

"I'm really sorry about earlier. I don't know what I was thinking," She says apologetically.

"What? Oh, that. You got restless. It happens."

"Things were just getting dark for a second. The sun came out a bit ago, literally. I'm alright."

It's funny how the weather can affect the way you feel. I often find myself brooding when the sun's not shining as well. This is exactly why I love her. She understands every piece of who I am, even if she doesn't know all the gruesome details. We both have to fight this darkness inside of us that stems from our tragedies.

"I'm glad…Elena, has anyone stopped by since you've been home?"

"No, not that I've heard. I kept myself locked in here for a little while."

Thank God. But what was troubling her in the first place? Why'd she run off? Looking into those deep brown eyes, I see pain. I know when she's hurting, and at this moment she is feeling more pain than I'd seen her feel in a while. But these things could be dealt with in time. I try to focus on the fact that Damon still hasn't touched the last good thing in my life. As I breathe an enormous sigh of relief, the large Victorian door lets out a slight creak.

I froze.

Elena turned.

He walked in.

"Hello again, brother. And you are?"


	3. First Impressions

I love making an entrance, especially one that is entirely unwanted. Messing with Stefan has become a cherished hobby of mine. I know Stefan doesn't want anything to do with me, but rejection is a familiar sentiment. I don't feel it. I don't feel most things. It's one of the many glorious effects of incessant rejection.

Seeing Stefan for the first time in two years is anything but surprising. He has retained his storybook appearance and gentlemanly manners. There aren't any brief flashes of the troubled youth I left so long ago. That's good, less guilt for me to inter.

The bedroom looks about the same. All my old furniture remains in its familiar locations. Yet, the room is lived in. It has an air of femininity. A woman's clothing can be seen hanging in the wardrobe diagonal from the bed. It seems that the mourning brunette I saw earlier has made casa Salvatore her permanent residence.

My typical cocky demeanor shifts for a brief second. I'm thrown off-guard by the doe-eyed woman at my brother's side. I'd only seen her back side when i briefly peaked in earlier. Seeing her now, face to face, is an entirely different experience. She looks at me with a gaze that is somewhat familiar. I feel like I know her, even though we've never met. She doesn't seem put off by my rude interruption. On the contrary, she seems intrigued. As I study the softness of her olive skin, her lips part and slowly begin to speak.

"I'm Elena Gilbert," She says innocently.

"Elena, this is my brother, Damon," Stefan says slowly, as if giving up part of himself.

Suddenly, the intriguing, innocent stare of the doe-eyed beauty turns to a look of mistrust and betrayal. My flare for an entrance suddenly loses its charm. Why is she throwing daggers at me? I'm ruggedly handsome, mysterious, and much more interesting than my brother has ever been. What could I have done to upset her, and why do I care so much? Even upset, she remains breathtaking. Her chocolate brown hair is draped over her shoulders like a waterfall. She seems innocent, yet deeply troubled. I want to know more, but now's not the time for that.

"I think you should leave," She says resolutely.

Ouch. This one's feisty.

"I've already over-stayed my welcome? In my own home? Yikes."

"I live here now, and I don't feel comfortable with you in this house. I'm sure Stefan agrees."

Stefan reassures himself and nods in Elena's direction. What could he have told her about me that is so awful? I've made my share of mistakes, I'll admit. But dwelling on the past is useless. I'm not here to sing kumbaya and have a Salvatore cuddle session. I need a place to stay until I find _her_. That's all. I'm not here looking for forgiveness for "abandoning my teenage brother." I push people away, it's easier. Stefan never understood that. He's too much of a people pleaser.

Any hope of reconciliation with my brother diminished the last time we met. The damage is done and it can't be repaired. Both of us refuse to own up to our mistakes. It's that Salvatore pride. It'll be the death of me—that or the bourbon.

It's getting late. If I want to get there before dark, I'll have to leave within the next few minutes. Though I'd love to stand here and study the intriguing, new mistress of Salvatore manor, I bid my goodbyes and retire to my room to wash up.

"Well, Elena, it was nice to meet you. And thanks for the offer, but I think I'm going to retire to my bedroom now."

I stare intently into her deep-set, brown eyes as i walk by, hoping she'll sense the seriousness in mine. I am not leaving. Not tonight, anyway.


	4. Confessions

Who does he think he is? Though Stefan has only told me the jist of his family history, I've picked up on the fact that Damon is not the ideal brother. He'd left deep emotional scars on a man whose heart is as pure as snow. All I ever tried to do was heal him, give him some relief. I refuse to let Damon come in and undo all the progress Stefan has made.

I know Damon left Stefan in foster care and didn't contact him for several years, but that's about it. That was enough, though. All Stefan ever wants is to be cared for and to be assured of affection. I need that too. That's probably how we found each other so quickly.

There has to be more to the story. And why is Damon calling this guest bedroom his own? Did Stefan really put me up in his prodigal brother's former bedroom? That sure as hell isn't comforting. I'm getting the chills just thinking about it.

My introduction to Damon was anything but normal. The way he stared at me was unnatural, but intriguing. Though we're in separate rooms now, I still feel locked in his icy blue stare. His gaze was intoxicating, but not in a bad way exactly. It's probably better to keep my distance than to try and have a conversation. I can't let him reel me in, but I do need to say something. I want him gone for Stefan's sake, even though I'm desperately interested in knowing the rest of their complicated past.

I nervously knock on my door to collect my belongings and once more plead with the mysterious stranger to leave.

Once again, his mystifying stare appears. I can't see anything else. Did we really need words? He knows what I want. Despite the fact, he begins speaking.

"Listen, this is a lot more complicated than you'll ever know. I plan on staying here for a bit. I'll stay out of yours and Stefan's hair as much as I can, despite how much I love messing with him."

As he spoke, his eyes traversed my whole self, not as if he was sizing me up, but like he was trying to understand who I am, memorize every part of me. I wouldn't doubt that he has the Salvatore trait of being able to understand a person at first glance. Luckily, there's more to me than meets the eye. Uncomfortable and nervous, I work up the courage to confront him.

"No, you listen. I see the effect you have on Stefan and I don't like it. He's in a good place. Let that be."

He watches me speak and for a moment, a twinge of sympathy crosses his face, and then it seems a memory comes to mind. Maybe his struggles are similar and maybe he really is more than meets the eye as well, but that's not of my concern. It shouldn't be. Then he returns to a blank, cocky stare.

"Elena," his voice breathes softly.

I barely even listened to what he had to say after that. The way he said my name was so strange; as if he understood everything I am trying to do, my best intentions and my worst.

"I'm sure you're one of Stefan's many admirers who will tirelessly defend his honor. He's the sun, all you live and breathe, etcetera. I understand. I'm not here to destroy that. I have my reasons, but they don't involve Stefan. You can be sure of that."

I didn't believe him. I didn't want to, at least.

"Then why are you here? There aren't many tourist attractions in Briarview."

"That's kind of a personal question, isn't it?"

"Not when it's sending someone I love into disarray."

Love. It's funny how I spent my morning in chaos trying to figure out how I'm going to stay with this man while still being able to grow. I do love him, though.

He dons a questioning expression for a brief moment. He seems to be moved by some emotion each time I mention Stefan's mental state. Once again, his blank expression resumes and all signs of humanity cease.

"He really should man up. Let bygones be bygones and whatnot."

Damon looks to his left a bit awkwardly, but then continues.

"I've got somewhere to be. It was a pleasure to meet you, Elena."

As he begins to exit, he carefully takes my hand and places a small kiss between my middle and forefinger. This may have been a bit eccentric, but his gentlemanly charm is enthralling. This is not me swooning. I don't swoon, not anymore at least. But I do sense some sort of respect between the two of us. He knows I'm trying to protect Stefan, and I think he'll abide by my wishes.

I hope behind his mysterious front there is some sort of compassion: a man who will take pity on his orphaned brother. If he has any of the same qualities as Stefan, then I believe he'll do what he has to do and then leave.

I watch this puzzling figure grab an old leather jacket and walk out the door. Why do I want to follow him? I have a strong desire to discover the secret of his return. So, I grab my own jacket, seize my keys, and sneak to the garage. I wait a few minutes until I see he's turned the corner. Then, I start the car and follow after the stranger.

He turns down Clifton Avenue and then continues straight for a good eight minutes. The car abruptly stops in front of a large Victorian home, much similar to that of his own. He doesn't get out, just sits for a while. For about ten minutes, we sit, fifty feet apart, staring at the white home. It's ornately built with large white columns and an extending white porch. The porch swing looks welcoming but unused. In fact, the whole home seems abandoned. Who lives here?

The house was much too large to belong to a small family, and I like to think that I know most of the people in town. But this wooded area is foreign to me. My eyes catch sight of a playground in the back of the home. It's littered with old swings and monkey bars, but they looked dilapidated and abandoned.

Suddenly, a thought strikes me. Is this the foster home that the two estranged brothers grew up in? Before I can finish that thought, Damon turns his car around and continues back up the street.

Crap. What can I do but duck?

He slowly drives by, catching one last glimpse of the decaying residence and then stops. He's caught me.

"Stefan's had the same car since the last time I visited, Elena. Subtlety isn't your forté."

"I just," I stutter and then stop.

"You're curious. Didn't anyone tell you that curiosity killed the cat?"

"Isn't that a bit cliché?"

"My point is that I'm pretty sure Stefan wants his past and his present far apart."

"Is this….where you two.."

"Where we grew up? The placed I left him to "rot?" You seem intelligent, you tell me."

He makes conversation so difficult. Talking with Stefan isn't a riddle. But every brief word I've had with Damon thus far has kept me in a tailspin, trying to analyze what's behind his vague statements. Maybe he's only being so vague because I'm being quite similar. I haven't been upfront or asked him the questions I'm dying to know. Look at me sneaking around like an alley cat. I'm trying to be more assertive, so why not try it out on a stranger?

"What happened here, Damon? Stefan's never mentioned that the place was so close."

He looks around slowly and refrains from answering.

"I know it's really personal, but I'm looking for a way to understand Stefan. This is me putting all my cards on the table. Stefan and I have been very naïve with one another."

Though he is looking the other way, I can tell he's listening. So, I continue.

"We found each other when we were both suffering. We just took that as our binding thread, but I want to understand what it all means. There's so much buried beneath that I don't understand and I'm tired of not talking about these things."

This time, Damon cocks his head and stares intently at me. Maybe he sees something he didn't see before. Maybe he will open up, but why should he? I haven't exactly given him the warmest welcome. I'm changing my mind. I should get to know Damon, just a small bit, so maybe I can learn more about Stefan. I think Stefan and I need this. We don't understand enough about each other. He doesn't understand what I'm dealing with, so maybe I need to first understand what he's dealing with. I wait for Damon to say something, but no words are said.

"I'd really like to learn about your past. Yours and Stefan's."

He gives an accepting nod and finally begins to say something.

"I didn't come here for Stefan."

"Here as in Briarview, or here as in this house?"

"Both."

This time I believe him. He really isn't here for any reason involving Stefan, so I doubt he plans on helping me understand their relationship. This isn't going to go anywhere. Just as I begin to ask him another question, he slowly drives off down the street, heightening the mystery to a new level.

I'm scared, but I'm still intrigued. Even if his reasons for coming back to Briarview have nothing to do with Stefan, I still want to know more. Maybe this is the adventure I've been looking for, but is it worth the cost of Stefan's feelings? If I search for answers about Damon's reappearance, that'll only bring Damon closer to our lives than Stefan can handle. It seems that I'll either have to shake the notion from my head, or try and conceal my search from Stefan. Either way, someone's bound to get burned.

* * *

**I hope you're enjoying the story. It's a work in progress. I'd really appreciate any reviews, comments, criticisms, etc. Thanks for reading!**

**-Liz**


	5. Shortcomings

I sit down on my bed and try to remain rational. I've worked so hard to keep myself in check and to be the man my mother raised me to be. This time I won't let Damon get the best of me. I'm stronger than this.

But the way he looked at Elena bothered me. I wonder why he was so entranced. I suppose he's in shock that a man can love another woman after loving _her_. I don't know what I was thinking when I gave Damon's former room to Elena. I didn't think I'd ever have to deal with him coming back.

I don't hate my brother; I'll just never forgive him for what he's done. He's caused me too much pain to ever let him back into my life. Every time I've been close to finding a family, he's ripped them out from under me like a Persian rug. Damon's goal is to make me feel as utterly alone as he has felt his whole life. He blames me for his shortcomings, but that's not something I can control. I loved my brother wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, Damon got the shorter end of the stick when it came to affection from our parents.

Father wasn't concerned with either of us. He simply had expectations, and we were to fulfill them. Mother, however, adored Damon and me as children. As we grew older, Damon's personality surfaced. He's always been reckless and careless. He acts out of passion, like my father. Mother didn't appreciate this trait. She preferred my gentlemanly manners and compassion. Naturally, I received more attention because of this.

Damon has always hated me for it. When Father killed himself 6 years ago, I blamed Damon. I shouldn't have, but I was hurt. Nothing was sustaining Father's life. We weren't enough. Damon was always getting in to trouble around town and at school. I spent my days playing the piano and writing, while Damon preferred stealing cigarettes and drinking with the local burnouts. This was probably stressful on my father, but I realize now that he had to have had much darker demons to have done what he did. I can't blame Damon for that, but the rest is still on him.

He claims he's not here for me—then what is he here for? We have no family and he has no friends in Briarview. He doesn't have a sentimental bone in his body, so I'm going to assume he is here to torment me. He'll never stop.

Damon can torture me until my dying day as long as he doesn't involve Elena. I'm not ready for her to understand the things I've done and what Damon and I have been through together. She'll look at me differently. I don't want her to lose the way she looks up at me and smiles. She thinks I'm good at heart. I used to believe that. I still want to believe that. She gives me hope.

Things have been difficult lately, though. What once was a passionate romance has become a secretive partnership. We live together and speak every day, but it's like we're not saying anything. She's been distant lately. I can't help but think it's because of me. I've kept her here. She could've gone anywhere. I've kept her from her only family, as well. I'm sure she misses Jeremy. The way she smiled around her family and friends was intoxicating. She's genuinely happy with them, but living here has kept her secluded. My home isn't that far from her own and those of her friends, but moving in with me was the final straw for Jeremy. He really lost it on her a few weeks back.

Am I holding her back? I can't afford to ask myself this. Not now. I need her too much.

I pick up my phone and call Elena's best friend Bonnie. She needs to get out of the house- away from all of her wallowing and my family problems.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end asks.

"Stefan?"

"Yeah, hey, Bonnie. I know it's been a couple weeks and it's probably pretty awkward because of the Jeremy thing, but do you think you two could get together with Elena soon? She needs it. Jeremy probably needs it too, seeing as the anniversary is coming up."

"I'll try, but I don't want them to fight any more than they already have. I'll convince Jeremy. We'll stop by tomorrow if that's okay?"

"Perfect. Thanks, Bonnie."

I stand up and walk out of my room. I think I'll help Elena move her things into my bedroom so we don't irritate Damon. We can't risk it.

"Hey, Elena. Bonnie and Jeremy are stopping by tomorrow," I say at a volume just a tad louder than usual.

I open her door slowly and see that there's no one inside.

Both Damon and Elena are gone.

* * *

**Thanks for reading, once again! I love that there's so many different views from a ton of different countries. I hope you're enjoying it. This chapter is primarily focused on giving some insight into Damon and Stefan's feelings about his return. It's more descriptive, but things pick up in the next chapter between Damon and Elena. Once again, any comments or criticisms are welcome **

**xoxo**

**Liz**


	6. Attractions

I occasionally enjoy being a badass. So, I speed down Clifton Avenue and instead of turning, I drive my car right up to the entrance of the Briarview Pub. I think it's about time I let the people of Briarview know that I've returned. I'm not expecting an extravagant party and a raven-haired maiden à la Clym Yeobright, though I wouldn't object to the delicious Elena, but hopefully some of these locals will be interested in entertaining me for the evening.

It's been 6 years and we still have the same sheriff. There stands Liz Forbes, the epitome of the law. She's forceful and confident, but I can tell she's suffered about as much as most of the citizens here. It's quite a depressing place. I glance to my right and see Liz's daughter, Caroline, eating and schmoozing with Easy Vicki Donovan's older brother, Matt. Caroline's got serious daddy issues, Vicki pops pills, and Matt, well, he's just your typical Briarview lifer. What a sad bunch.

I take a seat at the center of the bar and order a glass of whiskey. Just as I glance over to find a local to chat with, a hefty hand reaches out to shake mine.

"Alaric Saltzman. You must be Damon Salvatore."

And he knows me how? I wasn't one to socialize in my younger days, so I don't have many friends in Briarview. Most of the local teens are a few years behind me in age, so it's unlikely they even they would recognize me.

Yet, Alaric Saltzman does. I don't recognize him in slightest, though. He's relatively tall and dressed in old Levi's with a green military jacket. He seems like a nerd with a twinge of lumberjack.

Intriguing.

"That's what I've been told. Care to join me?"

"Why the hell not."

He signals a boy of about 16 or 17 to get him a drink. Why he's old enough to tend bar, I do not know.

"Jeremy Gilbert, this is Damon Salvatore."

Gilbert? The Gilberts are a founding family of Briarview, so I'd assume he's related to Elena. I'd also assume from his icy stare that he's heard of me.

"Did your sister tell you about me? Or was it Stefan? He's got to stop bragging. It's embarrassing."

"Neither, actually. I didn't know there was another Salvatore," Jeremy replies coldly while pouring our drinks.

"Well then the cold reception doesn't make much sense, now does it?" I snare.

"I'm not a big fan of your brother's. If you'll excuse me, I have work to do."

Wow. I like him. Is it because he's the first person on the planet who doesn't like Stefan? Maybe. Or maybe it's the snarky attitude. I think I've found a possible acquaintance, but an acquaintance at most. I don't have time to make friends, and no one in this town is worth making friends with.

"Your brother's in my history class. Sits in the third row behind Jeremy's sister," Alaric informed me.

"You're a professor? Never would've pegged you for that. A woodsman or computer programmer, maybe."

"That's hilarious. He's a good kid and a great writer, you know. "

"That is brand new information."

We sit in silence for a few minutes until Elena sneaks her way back into my train of thought. What was it about her demeanor that i found so enticing?

"Question, what's Elena's deal? She seems a bit troubled and angsty."

"The Gilberts have been through a lot. The parents died a few years back. They drove their car off the bridge. It was really tragic. Elena was inside, and she's the only one who survived."

So, my first instinct was wrong. I thought maybe she was like _her_: moody, wild, distressed. It turns out she's just been dealt a bad hand. It's unnatural to see such a mournful expression on such a stunning visage. I wonder what attracted her to Stefan and his 50-shades-of-screwed-up-ness. She really let me in today. It was refreshing to see a woman be so honest. Her demeanor was nothing like that of the manipulative woman I left behind six years ago.

What was it that Elena said? They bonded over their suffering. Stefan always plays that card. People tend to forget that I've been through that and more. Her words are stuck in my mind as I sit here drinking whiskey with a stranger. He knows her. I want to know more of what he knows, but I can't explain why. Her purity and honesty interest me. Those are rare qualities in a woman. I guess it wouldn't hurt to see what else Alaric could tell me about this enticing individual.

"What do you say to another round, Rick?"


	7. Intentions

I drive back home slowly, still musing over Damon's confession. What else could have brought him back to the town that brought his family so much misery? I knew there was more to it. There's so much pain in his eyes, similar to Stefan's. As I pull into the winding driveway, I see Stefan standing on the doorstep. I can see his sigh of relief from the car. I quickly jump out and walk to the door.

"Elena, I know something is going on and I want to help, but you keep leaving."

The way he said "you keep leaving" struck my heart strings like a rigid guitar pick. I could sense the familiar suffering behind his words. Everyone Stefan has ever held dear in his life has left him.

"I know, I'm so sorry. I'm not leaving to get away from you; I'm just leaving to get out of my head."

"I want to know what you're thinking so I can help."

"You can't help what's in my nature, just like I can't do that for you either…"

Not to mention, there's nothing more he can do. I can't be like this anymore. The anniversary is approaching and so many years later, I'm still the same pathetic, mournful girl. What would my parents think of me? I haven't moved on. I haven't grown. All Stefan and I do is wallow in each other's tragedies. There's no passion left.

Stefan needs me, though. I can't come forward completely about my restlessness until I figure out what happened between Damon and Stefan. This honesty approach worked with Damon, so maybe I should be semi-honest with Stefan. Why am I so much more afraid?

That's right. He's fragile. I don't want to break him. I do love him. I know I do, despite all of our issues lately. If I ask him about all of this, I'm letting in parts of him he has probably buried, but maybe this is what we need.

"I saw your old home today."

An expression of fear crosses his visage. Elena, what were you thinking? Now he looks like a deer in headlights, frightened and exposed. I shouldn't put him on the spot like this, but timing is the cost of honesty.

"I'm sorry to bring it up like this, but there's just so much I don't understand."

"I'm assuming you want to know more about my relationship with Damon, and Elena, I want to tell you everything. I've been honest with you from the beginning. I love you, and I want to show you every piece of myself, but this isn't a side that I'm proud of."

"But Stefan, if we love each other, then we'll accept those parts that aren't so perfect. How can I ever know you if I don't understand all that's happened?"

"So you want to know everything? Every part? I can't risk you looking at me any differently."

What could he have done that he's so afraid to tell me about? Stefan's never done anything to hurt anyone, nor has he ever shown any flaws.

"If anything, maybe it'll prove that you're human and not completely righteous all the time."

He slowly looks down and then to the side. He values the way I idolize him because it's quite obvious that he doesn't think of himself that way at all. I know he's a good man. That's not going to change.

"I'm not sure where I should begin. You know about my father and what happened to Damon and me after his death. We were placed in the home that you saw today, I assume…"

He pauses and looks around in a confused manner. An expression of disgust, then some sort of sadness, crosses his face.

"Did you follow _Damon_ to the Fell's?"

He's upset that I was with Damon? We sat fifty feet apart. I watched. He can't be upset with me over this. And the Fell's were his foster family? It had to have been Grandmother Fell or a distant cousin of the present Fell family.

"Yes, but I wasn't there to talk with him. I just wanted to know what he's up to."

"So Damon was at the Fell's?"

Now I'm confused.

I assure him once again that Damon was at the Fell's.

"Damnit. After all this time, still?"

"He said he wasn't there for anything involving you. I'm assuming it wasn't a sentimental visit?"

"It was sentimental, just not the brotherly type of sentiment. Six years later and…wow."

We stand in silence for at least five minutes. I don't want to interrupt his train of thought. He seems so entranced in some sort of storyline he's devised in his head of why Damon returned to the Fell's home. Suddenly, he mutters something I didn't expect to hear.

"Katherine."

* * *

**Thanks for all the reviews, views, follows, etc. I'm really glad to see some people are interested in the story. I wanted to start it out similar to the show, minus the vampires, and now i can start moving into a different plot. To those of you asking about a Damon and Elena relationship, whatever that's going to be is going to take a little time to build. At this point they're extremely intrigued by one another. Give it time.**

**And again, thanks for all of your reviews and for reading. It means a lot!**

**xoxo Liz**


	8. Katherine

After all these years, he'd come back for her. Again. He really was damaged. But Katherine left when I started my junior year. There was nothing left for her. Why would she be back? Maybe Damon didn't know that and was searching for her. Having Damon back is stressful enough, but if Katherine's returning, Elena and I are going to have to leave.

I said Katherine out loud, didn't I? She's going to know soon enough, I might as well tell Elena the story of how the Salvatore family bond was broken.

"I'm sorry. I'm probably confusing the hell out of you right now. I should just start at the beginning."

And so I begin: bearing my soul to the only person who still looked at me the way my mother used to, with admiration and compassion.

"Damon and I were sent to the Fell's home when I was thirteen and he was fifteen. We weren't close, but we learned to lean on each other because we didn't have anyone else. We really started to bond, like brothers should. That's when Katherine came along. She was staying with the Fell's as well. The second she walked in Damon lost all sense of reason. She was beautiful: a raven haired, long-legged woman. At the age of fourteen she had so much wisdom and experience in her already. He quickly jumped on the opportunity to be at her beck and call. She manipulated and took advantage of him. He was never around anymore, unfortunately. This was just when I was starting to understand what it meant to have a real brother, you know? I didn't blame him, though. It was his first love. Eventually I learned that Katherine wasn't so bad. We started talking about our lives. She had it rough, too."

I search Elena's face for signs of interest or contempt. She was an attentive listener, no matter what I talked about. She is never judgmental, so I'm not sure why I'd think this time would be any different. She nods her head and puts her hand on my leg to reassure me that it's safe to continue.

"Well, Katherine's parents had shut her out after she'd given birth to a child. At thirteen, she got pregnant and her parents were ashamed and infuriated. They gave the child away and sent Katherine out on the streets. I really felt bad for her. She needed a family just as bad as I did. We became close friends. I couldn't understand why she'd been so honest with me but so controlling with Damon. I set aside my concerns after getting to know her, though. I assumed it was her way of keeping him around. Eventually, something happened with Katherine and Damon. He came home out of his wits one day. He looked around the room blankly. I'd never seen him look like that before. It's kind of the way he looks at things now, if you've noticed it."

I look at Elena after uttering that last sentence and the look upon her face indicates that she is familiar with the expression.

"I assumed it was just Damon having one of his wild, rebellious moments, but then he looked at me. He just stared at me like he was looking for something. Then he walked out the door. I didn't run after him. I wanted to let him blow off some steam. Later that night, Katherine came into my room and woke me up. She asked me to leave town with her. Of course, I gave her a million reasons not to: school, our foster family, etcetera. She didn't seem to care about any of that. She just smiled and begged me to go with her. I couldn't do that. I wouldn't leave Damon or this town. She walked out and I went back to sleep."

I pause briefly. When am I going to admit the rest? As hard as I try to deny it, I screwed up. It was my fault…

No. It was Katherine's. And Damon's. Elena will see that.

"She said, 'I'll see you soon,' and walked down the stairs, and apparently out the front door. I didn't realize the only two family members I had were trying to leave me. She came back the next day, though. She couldn't find a ride out of town. Damon still hadn't come back so I was already a wreck. She came in through my window to avoid being seen, which struck me as peculiar. I know now that she was avoiding Damon seeing her. She didn't realize he was gone, that's why she'd left in the first place. A few days went by where we didn't speak, and Damon still hadn't returned. Once she realized he'd left, she began speaking to me again. She said because he left, she wouldn't have to. She didn't go into detail about what happened between the two of them besides the fact that they broke up. I realized that my brother left because Katherine didn't love him. I was furious. How could he leave his only family over a breakup with some girl? He left me in a house of strangers because he was heartbroken. I know he's had his struggles with rejection, but he never should've left without me."

Elena's eyes begin to water and she wraps her arms around my waist. She falls into me in that soothing way she always does. I feel safe rather than judged. I can't believe I thought she'd think little of me. The story isn't over yet, though.


	9. Exploits

So it turns out that Alaric Saltzman was already a bit boozed up before making his introduction. I thought he was warming up to me a bit too easily. He's a real town gossip once you get him going. And trust me, it took a lot of drinks to get him from "Stefan's papers come off a bit arrogant" to "Mrs. Lockwood may be having an affair." What can I say, talking to me makes people want to drink.

Apparently, Rick was engaged to Elena's aunt before she slipped into a coma six months ago. Empathy isn't one of my most apparent traits, but I couldn't help but hurt for her. She'd lost so much. And what's worse is that she had the world before she lost it. At least the two parents and the woman I lost never loved me. Wallowing over the tragic Gilbert girl is getting a bit depressing, though. I need to liven things up somehow, so I walk towards the perky blonde across the way.

"Now let me guess. Caroline Forbes?"

"You've heard of me? Good or bad? Hopefully a bit of both," she says with a smirk.

They do come easy in Briarview, don't they?

"Well, descriptions of your appearance certainly don't do you justice. Care to join me and my friend?"

She nods towards Matt Donovan to signal she'd be joining me. A second nod and grin indicate she won't be needing a ride home either.

Caroline walks beside me as we stroll back towards the bar. She orders a drink as I sit down next to my new "pal" Rick. She then walks back over to us carrying some sort of fruity concoction. Not only can kids tend bar in Briarview, but apparently they don't check I.D. Strange.

"Oh… Mr. Saltzman, it's nice to see you," she stutters and awkwardly takes a seat.

Crap, I'm sitting here with the local history professor while trying to schmooze my way into the bed of one of his students. Rick's going to need to be going soon.

"It was nice meeting you, Rick, but I think the evening's about over. Take care."

"You take care too, buddy! I'll be seeing you _real soon_."

Not at all startled by my abrupt goodbye, Rick winks and walks backwards in a drunken stupor. Hopefully he's walking home.

Now that he's gone, it's time for a bit of fun.

"You seem to know my name, but I still don't know yours," Caroline says suggestively.

It's only natural that she wouldn't remember me. Stefan and I were pretty secluded as kids. Though I find it annoying that she hasn't heard of me, it's nice to talk to someone who knows nothing of my past.

"Damon. Salvatore."

A huge grin explodes on Caroline's fair-skinned face. Obviously she knows of Stefan and can't wait to snag herself a Salvatore. I know the look _all too well_. Here goes another night of being substitute Stefan. I turn to the barkeep.

"Check, please."


	10. Misunderstandings

As I fall into Stefan's chest, he continues with his story, stumbling over words a bit. I sense that this is where it gets even more complicated.

"After a few months passed, and I was sure that Damon had left me for good, I became even more furious. The pain had subsided and now all I wanted was to hurt him like he hurt me. I didn't know how to do that from miles away, though. Katherine and I became closer and closer. She was all I had left on the planet. I needed someone to keep me together and she was willing to be that person. One night she kissed me and I was terrified. Katherine was Damon's whole world. Could I really get involved with her after she tore him apart? My thought process was totally immoral at this point. I realized how much I wanted to hurt him, so I didn't care if it was wrong."

So, to get revenge on Damon, Stefan had a fling with Katherine. I'd never heard of Katherine. In fact, I'd never heard of any ex girlfriends of Stefan's. I wonder if he loved her, or if he ever thinks about her now. She sounds gorgeous and they have so much in common. He really has a thing for girls with tragic pasts, huh? Despite my fear of hearing more about him and Katherine, I ask him to continue.

"I'm ashamed of it, but Katherine and I connected and I used that as a weapon against my brother, whether he was there to see it or not. Eventually it became more than that and I did truly care for her. She reminded me a lot of him. Maybe that's what I saw in her. She was reckless and carefree. I needed some of that in my life. So, that went on for about a year until Damon came back when I was about fifteen. He showed up at the Fell's door one night really late. Mrs. Fell was livid, so I went outside to talk with him. The first thing I did was hit him. He acted so shocked and disgusted. I didn't feel any remorse, though. That's what abandonment does to a kid. "

Stefan tries to recount the conversation between the two brothers. My mind enters a dreamlike trance—I can see it. I can hear every word.

"So you decided to show your face again? After two years?" Stefan yelled.

"I figured I was ready to forgive you and move on. "

"Forgive me? Damon, you abandoned me. You left me here without anyone. I needed you and you left me over Katherine. People get their hearts broken all the time. Man the hell up and be there for your little brother!"

"You've got to be kidding me! How can you stand there and act so self righteous, Stefan? After all that you've done!"

"Enlighten me as to what I've done because all I've been doing for the past 2 years is trying to find a family."

"You must have had a lot of time on your hands to balance finding a family and sleeping with Katherine."

"What?"

"She told me. The night I left."

I can see the confusion on Young Stefan's face and Damon's anger is almost palpable. My intense reverie persists as Stefan describes the events.

"The night you left, Katherine asked me to run away with her, but that's hardly my fault."

"She chose you, Stefan. Just like they all do. I knew somehow you'd reel her in, just like you did to everyone we've ever known. I thought she chose me. She could've had anyone in the world, but she chose me—until she chose you."

"Damon this is getting really screwed up because I don't understand what you're saying I did."

"I left that night after she told me she couldn't be with me anymore. She said she loved you."

I see Dream Stefan's eyes dart back and forth and he begins to understand that it's all a huge misunderstanding: a comic tragedy.

"But Katherine and I were friends. Nothing more. I wouldn't do…"

Young Stefan's innocence seems to drain from his eyes as he falls to his knees. In a comedy of errors, he'd done exactly what Damon was accusing him of, just not in that timeframe.

"Damon…..I was never with Katherine. So that's why she asked me to leave with her that night… I didn't leave. I couldn't leave without you. I waited for you to come back and then you didn't."

Damon gives an angry yet compliant nod, then sighs.

"That's not surprising. You don't hurt people the way Katherine and I do. I just assumed… Either way, she chose you. I couldn't take it. I know I act like these things don't affect me but they do. I can't deal with the pain of always failing in comparison to you, Stefan. It's agonizing. But I do need you in my life, so maybe there's some chance in hell that we can work this out."

My reverie ceases as Stefan stops talking to catch his breath and inconspicuously wipe his eye. This is horrifying. Did he tell Damon what really happened with Katherine? Do I even want to know? My heart hurts for this man. He'd been tricked by a cruel series of events. His words were steady, but he continued. I try to pay more attention to his demeanor and words than my own delusion.

"Elena, I didn't want to tell him. I was still furious that he left over something so trivial, but there was hope that we could fix things. I avoided telling him, but I knew he'd find out soon enough. It's a small town and it was better that he heard it from me than from a stranger. So, I told him how badly I wanted to get back at him. He understood. He was crushed, but he understood. That is until I told him how the relationship had transformed. He asked me to leave her. We'd forget everything and move on. I couldn't, though. She was all I had for the past year. I loved her. He couldn't accept that and said it was betrayal all the same. Thus, he left me again. It was harder this time. I guess that's partially because he'd left me because of Katherine again, and but mostly because I knew I'd really hurt him."

This was Stefan's darkest demon. He feels he's the reason for his brother's downfall.

* * *

**Thank you so much for all the views, follows, reviews, etc. It means a lot! The story is about to take a super interesting turn. It'll stray from the general plot verrrry soon. I can't wait to share it with all of you. I'm trying to upload a few chapters at a time because they're told from different perspectives, giving different mini-stories. I don't know if that makes sense, but it did at the time. Anyways, the next few chapters will bring conflict and a peculiar alliance. Keep reading!**

**xoxo Liz**


	11. Aftermath

So I did it. I told her all of it: how Damon left, how we almost found our way back to each other, and then how he'd left again. I resent Damon for leaving that second time even more. Katherine was just a girl. It wouldn't last forever. We could've worked through things. We needed each other and he knew that, yet he let it all go to hell for his own pride. I can't forgive him for that.

"I continued seeing Katherine. I guess Damon went to see her that day and was a mess. She was really upset and leaned on me. I couldn't be there for her, though. I don't know why, but I just became increasingly angry with her as the days went by. I thought about all the times I asked her why Damon would've left and she had no answers. She knew what she told him. She knew he couldn't handle rejection. It was her fault. She used Damon's departure to win my affections. I think she even planned to make him leave so it'd be easier for her to get to me. She knew I wouldn't go for her if Damon was still around. I just felt manipulated. And, Elena, that's what she is. She's a manipulative, bitter woman. I ended things and tried to move on with my life. That's when I started going to Briarview and met you. At seventeen, I was given emancipation from the foster home and got the house back. It felt good to be home. I longed for the memories of my family, even if they were negative. I was alone until I met you. And you know the rest."

She looks up at me with her big, round eyes. Swelling with tears, she looks straight at me and kisses me.

"I'm never going to leave you, Stefan."

We're young and who knows if this will hold true, but these words mean the world to me in this moment. It seems as if she knows exactly what I need to hear. I love her. She knows everything and she still loves me for who I am. I know now that I don't have to worry about Damon being here. He can't get to me because I have a woman that loves me. She'll always love me.

"Do you think that you and Damon could work things out? It seems like a big misunderstanding to me."

She surprises me with this question. Damon walked out on me twice. Being with Katherine was a mistake, but I did it under false notions of Damon's reason for leaving. Damon, no matter what I did, had no reason to walk out.

"Never. He thinks he can cause a scene when he's upset and get away with it. That's not how life works. He can't just decide to hurt me on whim because he's feeling rejected. That's psychotic behavior."

"I suppose… but I saw something in him today. Behind that blank stare there are feelings, you know. Every time I mentioned how his visit affected you, he had this small twinge of," she stops abruptly and then continues.

"Remorse? I don't know. He just seems to have some sort of emotional response toward your suffering."

It's called joy.

"So maybe he still cares, even though he pretends not to. That doesn't change things. He valued Katherine over our family. That's wrong."

"Stefan, I love you and I don't think you're in the wrong with straying from him, but you almost did the same thing. You wouldn't break up with her and fix things with Damon. It's not a black and white situation."

"That's different. I wouldn't leave him over her. I just thought it was ridiculous that he wanted me to be miserable so we could be brothers again. That isn't fair."

"He has a lot of issues Stefan… We all do. I'm not sure why I even feel this way, but I think you should give him a chance. He has no one, but if you actually try to work things out, maybe he won't have to turn to Katherine. Maybe you can prevent him from further destroying himself."

She remains silent as I start to get angry. I'm not angry with her, but I feel like I've had this argument with myself in my head thousands of times. It doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong anymore. What's done is done.

Damon and I cannot coexist.

* * *

**If there are major typos in this chapter, I apologize. I'm actually in a car stuck in traffic at the Inauguration today. So exciting! Hope you're enjoying the story.**

**xoxo Liz**


	12. Hangovers

I slowly open my eyes and orient myself. I probably should've thought this through. Waking up in the bed of the sheriff's daughter isn't the wisest choice. Liz has a gun. I'm not a fast runner. Hopefully I can charm my way out of here.

I sit up, and to my right Caroline is still sound asleep. She looks beautiful draped in sheets, like a greek goddess. If she wasn't such an irritating woman to have a conversation with I might take her out again.

I hear footsteps outside the door and instantly hit the floor. The footsteps pass and I attempt to climb out the window.

As I place one leg over the railing, Caroline awakens.

"Leaving so soon?"

"Believe me, blondie, I didn't mean to stay the night."

"It was nice. I'm glad you did. I had a fun time with you, Damon."

Really? She's hooked on me already? Getting rid of this one is gonna be tough.

"Well thanks for everything but I should be leaving. Do me a favor and keep your mom company."

Caroline winks and trots down the stairs to distract Liz while I take a leap off the balcony.

Just my luck. I hit the ground ass first.

I stand and stroll to the spot around the corner where I parked my car. Down the street near the stop sign I see a tall brunette. Her gait is nervous and faltering. I'd recognize that composure anywhere.

"Elena! Elena Gilbert!" I call out sarcastically.

To my surprise, she walks towards me. I feel like I know too much to talk to her now without making the conversation much more than casual.

"Hello, Damon."

Her demeanor is quite different than the night before. Her stare is more tolerant than accusing.

"Elena. I hope your evening went well. Must've been tough with Stefan being 'such a wreck' and all."

"You can save the vague small talk. I know everything, Damon."

So much for keeping the conversation casual. I'm not sure what she means by everything. Stefan wouldn't have told her about Katherine, that's for sure.

"Did Stefan tell you about my brief stint at college? Or that time I tried a mohawk? This is awkward…"

"You can hide behind your comedy but I know why you're back. You're here to find Katherine."

Looks like my assumption was wrong. She knows about Katherine. More importantly, Stefan knows I'm here for Katherine. He doesn't understand. He never will. Elena is different, though. She seems like someone who would understand passion. Despite my surprise, I remain silent.

"I know I've only known you for a short period of time, but don't let her get the best of you. She's destroyed so much. Don't let her back into yours and Stefan's lives."

"I'm not looking to bring her into Stefan's life. What I do with my personal life isn't really your business, Elena."

Never mind. She's like a replica of Stefan. Elena could never understand what Katherine and I have.

"She left you, Damon. That's not something someone who loves you does. She seems cruel."

"We were kids. We've had our moments since then. I'm secure in my feelings for her, Elena. Can you say the same about yours?"

The first time we spoke I sensed some sort of trouble between her and Stefan. She was stuck behind some wall he'd put up and that's why she described their relationship as naïve. Clearly my question had hit home. She gives me a disgruntled look and crosses her arms. It's like watching Bambi get upset. She's quite adorable.

"I'm actually very secure in my feelings at the moment. The person I love most in the world has fully let me into his life. He's not keeping me out. Stefan loves me and _only_ me. That's a nice feeling."

Ouch. If only she knew how many times I came back to Briarview during the time Stefan and Katherine were together. If only she knew how many times Katherine and I were together then. I bet she'd think differently about how much Katherine really "chose Stefan." She may have been ashamed of it, but Katherine chose me in a way as well.

"Good day, Elena." I say as I walk back towards my car.

"I'm sorry," she says barely audibly.

What? This should be interesting. I don't often receive apologies.

"I didn't mean to try and hurt you. I see how much pain Katherine has caused you and Stefan. Neither of you deserve that…especially you. You're the one she'd hurt if she came back. Sorry if I'm overstepping my boundaries, but I'd like to see you and Stefan fix things. You can't do that when she's trying to tear you apart."

Especially you. You're the one. I don't deserve that. Why is she showing me such compassion? Elena's words fall upon my ears like a beautiful, soft melody. Her kindness is all-consuming. I can't help but feel appreciated for a brief moment. This moment has to end, though. I will see Katherine today.

"Thank you for your concern, Elena," I say as I walk back to my car.

If she cares about my well-being on the first day, I might even have a friend in a month. Wouldn't that be nice?


	13. Understandings

I hadn't planned on running into Damon this morning. I can't seem to form an opinion about him. On one hand, he's a selfish, reckless jerk who's damaged Stefan. On the other, he's damaged himself. Countless rejections and losses have left only a hollow shell of a man. Stefan and Damon aren't that different after all.

I shouldn't be interested in Damon's problems. I always need to fix people. I want to help and take away their suffering. In doing so, I've taken on the suffering of everyone around me. At times it's too much to bear. I think the problem is that I see Damon as misunderstood. As a child, his mother didn't love him enough and his father didn't love him at all. As a teen, Katherine left him for his brother. To top it off, Stefan rejected Damon's brotherhood to be with Katherine. No one has ever taken real interest in Damon as a person. Why am I the one left pondering this?

Just as my pondering turns to contemplation, I hear a voice call my name from somewhere down the street.

"Elena!"

As I turn around, Bonnie and Jeremy are walking towards me.

Apparently I can't take a morning walk without having all the ghosts of mine and Stefan's pasts run after me.

As if it isn't awkward enough to just speak with Bonnie, I now have to face my own brother problems. Maybe that's why I want Damon and Stefan to patch things up. I'm avoiding dealing with the issues Jeremy and I have. I miss him.

Jeremy has always disliked Stefan. Maybe he sees the same things in Stefan that Damon does. Jeremy thinks Stefan pulls me away from reality. He told me I was deluded. I don't know what else I could've done. After losing my parents, I needed to throw myself into something. I pushed them away and replaced the hole in my heart with Stefan's love. I'll admit that I did get too wrapped up in it all. I stopped spending time with Jeremy and stopped talking about our parents. The loss was buried deep in my heart. Bringing it up would make my fairytale come crashing down.

He hated me for it. Their death hit Jeremy really hard. He's always struggled with fitting in, but he always had our family to fall back on. I feel terrible for becoming consumed with Stefan not even four months after the accident. I needed to forget, but Jeremy won't understand that.

"Hey, Bonnie… Jer."

Jeremy gives a slight smile while Bonnie grins from ear to ear. I haven't seen Bonnie since the summer. She's going to school a few hours away, so it's tough to see her when she's back on the weekends.

"We haven't seen you around in forever! Actually, we were just on our way to Stefan's…I mean your..house. You're all locked up in the Salvatore castle these days."

"I've been really busy with classes."

I lie. I haven't been busy, I just don't know how to face them. I'm overjoyed that they actually were coming to see me, though.

"Well, it's Saturday. So I suggest you come to the pub with us. "

"The suggestion's just a formality. She's not taking no for an answer," Jeremy added.

These are the first words he's said to me in a few weeks. We don't talk as often as we used to, mostly because I'm with Stefan. I miss him. It seems like he wouldn't mind my presence, so I guess I'll join them.

We walk side by side towards the Briarview Pub. This feels nice. It's like traversing the path to the past. I can't believe how much I've sheltered myself from my friends and family. This is going to be part of that change I want to make. I'm going to spend more time with the other people who love me, not just Stefan.

Jeremy holds open the door as Bonnie and I step into the pub. We really need more hangouts in town. You can't go to the pub without running into the majority of your neighbors and classmates.

I forgot to add professors to that list.

"Hey Rick, I've been meaning to talk to you about yesterday," I say sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it. I figured there might be something going on when Damon Salvatore showed up here last night."

Strange, I thought Damon wasn't a fan of the locals.

"He asked about you."

I freeze. He's here for a purpose. He wants to find Katherine. Why would he waste his time asking one of the most knowledgeable locals about me?

"Oh, that's strange… What did he say?" I try to hide my interest, though I'm dying to know what the eldest Salvatore is fishing for.

"He just asked about your past. He couldn't quite figure you out I suppose."

"What'd you tell him?"

"Just the tragic Gilbert family story. About your parents and all that."

The fact that he knows cuts me like a knife. I suppose it's only fair, since I know his deepest insecurities. I just wish we were telling each other these things face to face. We're learning about each other's demons from people in pubs. That's not how it should be.

Maybe he'll feel more secure around me now that he knows I'm not as superficial as meets the eye.

"Alaric, do you know anything about him? I know he lived here far before you arrived but I'm still trying to figure him out."

"Nothing more than you do."

I can sense he's lying. What more did he know? Alaric's eyes shift left as I search his face for some hint of truth.

"What are you looking for?" He asks with an insinuating air.

"Nothing in particular. His return has kind of…fascinated me. I'm not sure why. He's looking for a woman named Katherine. I'd never heard of her until yesterday."

"Katherine Pierce. Quite a character."

Alaric knows Katherine? Am I the last to hear of this illustrious harlot? I don't want to seem too interested, but I need to know more.

"So, you know her. Apparently her and Stefan have a complicated past too."

"Strange, I haven't heard anything about it. She's trouble, Elena. If she's involved with the Salvatores, you should stay away."

Great. What perfect timing this Katherine situation has. Just when I'm feeling restless and in need of some adventure, life sends me a "dangerous" ex girlfriend to deal with. How am I supposed to resist diving into all of this?

"I'll be sure to keep my distance. I'm just worried for Stefan. "

"I know you are, but you can't change his or his brother's past."

Rick doesn't know anything about Stefan or Damon's pasts so I don't see why he doesn't want me getting involved. He couldn't possibly know Katherine that well if he hasn't heard about her trouble with the Salvatores.

I'm sure he's just concerned for me. Rick's the only father figure I've got these days. Initially, his love for Jenna is what kept him close to me and Jeremy. Now, he's almost a parent to Jeremy and I. He still looks after Jenna in the hospital daily. His hope is inspiring. My hope for Jenna to escape her comatose state diminished long ago.

I'm sure he means well, but I probably won't follow his advice.

"Thanks for everything, Rick."

I have a burger with Bonnie and Jeremy while trying to act like nothing has changed. This is painful.

"I've really missed you guys."

I do mean it, but not in this moment. My conversation with Alaric has consumed my thoughts.

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews and views! I might update a lot this weekend because i have 21 chapters written already and i want to get them posted before i write more...Hope that doesn't bother anyone. **

**xoxo Liz**


	14. Liaisons

It's a new day. I can start and finish it as I choose.

So, I've decided it's a Damon-free day. I understand where Elena's coming from, but too much has happened to try and repair things with him. When he came to see me a few years back, I told him I never wanted to see him again. How will he ever take me seriously if I try and let him back in now?

It doesn't matter. This is a Damon-free day. I'll deal with all of that later.

Suddenly, I hear a car pull into the driveway. I look out the window and there goes my plan.

He walks up the steps and carelessly flings the door open.

"Stefan, you're looking gloomy as ever."

"I don't think you'd be smiling if your pain-in-the-ass prodigal brother showed up smelling like booze and grass."

"Sorry about that, it was a rough night."

He's trying to get me interested in where he's been. And it's working.

I cut right to the chase.

"What are you up to? You know Katherine's not here."

"Right now? Bothering you. Last night, making friends at the pub. Isn't that what you want? For me to socialize and blend in?"

"Blending in is the last thing that happens when you socialize. Where were you all night?"

"I'm assuming you've met Sheriff Forbes's irritating, blonde daughter. I got bored and picked her up at the pub. This morning I hopped off a balcony, had a heart-to-heart with Elena, and now I'm here. No harm done."

A heart-to-heart with Elena. He has this way of putting the bad things he does in the middle of a sentence. He pretends like he wants it to go unnoticed, when really it's something he wants me to know about.

"So you slept with Caroline. That's classy."

He gives an arrogant nod and says nothing. I don't want to be the jealous boyfriend, but I have to ask.

"So where'd you see Elena?"

"Ran into her around the block a couple hours ago. We talked for a while, bonded, blah blah you don't want to hear the dirty details I'm sure."

"Damon, I swear! You know I want her to be kept out of all this. Go find Katherine, then leave. You don't need to reel Elena into one of your games."

Even if Damon isn't playing games, he's part of Katherine's. Still, part of me feels that Damon is going to do something to hurt me soon. Every time he visits, he finds a new way. This is the first time Elena has been in the picture. I'm still not sure how he'll use that to his advantage.

"You're afraid I'm going to steal Elena like you stole Katherine. That's rich, Stefan."

Elena's pure and good. I know she wouldn't fall for Damon's advances if there were any, but I don't trust him.

"Am I wrong?"

"I don't know, Stefan. How stable is your relationship? Isn't that really the problem?"

Elena told him about our relationship problems?

No, he's just trying to get me angry. And once again, it's working.

"My relationship with Elena is just fine."

"You're welcome for that, by the way. Your girlfriend told me you two were going through a bit of a rough patch the first time we spoke. Seems things aren't as 'fine' as you describe them. But once I came to town and you told her about our history, she seemed a bit more confident. So, you're welcome."

I don't even know how to respond to that. It's somewhat true. We are stronger after having that talk.

"You know what? You're right. Thanks for trying to hurt me in every way possible. Thanks for failing, too. It's getting really entertaining watching you try every trick in the book."

"If I was failing, you wouldn't be all red-faced and heated right now. Don't worry; I'm not going after your girl. I have plans of my own. Speaking of that, I've got to get ready and then get going. This was nice. Let's, uh, not do this again. Bye, Stefan."

Damon retreats up the stairs and shuts the door. If today's the day he's seeing Katherine, then I'm going with him. I need to know both of their intentions.

An hour passes and Damon is finally ready to go wherever he has planned. I start walking behind him. He eyes me strangely and gets into his car. I open the passenger's side door and join him.

"Are you serious, Stefan?"

"If you're doing this now, I'm going with you. Don't think I won't follow you if you refuse."

Damon looks impressed by my assertiveness and starts the car.

"This should make for an interesting evening. So why are you interested in going anyway?"

"I'm going to pull a Damon and keep my incredibly obvious intentions to myself for a while, if that's okay."

He rolls his eyes and continues to drive. We make all the familiar turns on the drive towards the Fell's home. When the house is finally in sight, he drives past it, down a winding road into the forest. If he is meeting Katherine, this is a pretty secretive spot. Why would he be so open to me going with him?

Damon stops the car and unhooks his seatbelt.

"Do me a favor. Stay in the car and duck until she comes into the clearing. I _want_ you to see this."

Will he ever learn? He's come back for her two times now. She doesn't want him. It's starting to get pathetic and obsessive. It is sick, though. How she's toying with him by returning in the first place (if she's returning at all).

We wait for hours. The sun begins to set and Damon's figure is barely visible in the pale moonlight.

I'm about ready to call him back, but then a car pulls up behind me. I quickly duck as I hear footsteps walking beside the driver's side. I don't look up yet, in fear of being seen. For now, I'll just listen.

"So you decided to show up," a voice, clearly Damon's, says.

"So you decided to wait this long? That's a bit tragic," a new voice laughs.

I'd know that voice anywhere. She'd actually come. I pop my head up slightly to view the scene.

There she was. Her raven hair was tousled down each side of her face in a cascade of loose curls. She looks as beautiful as ever. She'd avoided Damon for years, though. Why would she be here?

Damon still says nothing. He knows waiting around for her is pathetic.

"So, did you miss me?" Katherine asks seductively as she walks toward Damon.

"Do you have to ask that every time? I'm not playing games, Katherine. Not anymore."

Every time?

Damon puts his arms around her waist and continues declaring this newfound assertiveness.

"I want you. I'm not going to chase you anymore. This is where it started, and this is where we'll finish it."

"Lighten up, Damon. Either way, you know you won't stop. Your inability to resist me is incredibly entertaining."

Damon looks away briefly, but then Katherine wraps her arms around his neck and gives into the passion of the night. She kisses him forcefully, but not in a way that seems foreign to her. The whole scene seems routine. "Do you have to ask that every time?" They'd met like this before?

No wonder Damon hadn't gotten over Katherine. They'd been meeting here. After all these years, she's still toying with him.


	15. Damnations

Katherine and I are locked in a whirlwind of passion and longing. Normally I'd be consumed by this, but all I can think about is Stefan's reaction. I cannot wait to see his face when he realizes that Katherine hadn't chosen him all along.

Then something I'd been trying to block out crosses my mind. Why am I thinking about my conversation with Elena when every inch of me is surrounded by the woman of my dreams? Elena said I deserve better than this and that Katherine was cruel. Could someone who is so cruel have her lips on mine right now?

I still can't get her words out of my head. "She left you, Damon. That's not something someone who loves you does." That's not true. People like Katherine and I have to run. It's what we do when life gets too hard to handle. I know somewhere inside Katherine there's some sort of love for me. She'll admit it. Hopefully soon, while Stefan is watching.

Being her usual, forceful self, Katherine pushes me up against the tree. I can't help but think of all the nights she snuck out to see me after I left. The thrill of it all is really what connected us.

Before this goes any further, I need her to admit her feelings for me. I need Stefan to hear them, too.

But who am I trying to convince? Stefan or myself?

"Katherine…Katherine I'm all for this, really. It's great, but I need to know something before this happens again. I'm fine with this cycle of meeting every so often, but I need to ask you this."

"Damon, please. Don't make this more than it has to be," Katherine says with an eye roll.

I look towards the car parked a few feet away to make sure Stefan is listening. I see his eyes peering out above the dashboard. He's interested in what I'm going to ask.

"I want you to admit your feelings for me. Right now."

"You're ruining the moment. Don't bore me with questions."

"It's not a question, Katherine. It's a demand. I'm tired of being strung along. I can't keep meeting you like this if there's nothing here. If I'm wrong about your feelings, then I'm going to move on with my life and forget you. Just like that."

"I'm not going to allow you to ruin my visit home. I have a lot of people to catch up with and I don't need your feelings for me tying me down. You know I don't love you. I never have. We're kindred spirits, Damon. We like to have fun. You always have to ruin that."

I've feared asking that question for years. Deep down I knew. It hurt when Elena told me. I figured if someone who'd never met her could make that judgment, then it had to be true. I hate Elena for making me question this. But I hate myself more for actually asking Katherine.

I feel like crumbling. My legs are weak and the sweat on my face is like ice under such a cold, fall sky. Should I keep up our arrangement? Am I that pathetic? I don't deserve more. I've screwed up mine and Stefan's lives in the process of chasing Katherine. Hell, I barely deserve her. I just can't do this.

"Then it looks like we're done here. I loved you, Katherine. You've always known that. You love to use it against me. You're incapable of love. Now, so am I."

Katherine remains cold and silent. She doesn't show any emotion, but simply lifts her chin in the air to signify her disinterest. I want to hurt her. My life is crashing down on me in this moment. I've thrown away every good part of my life to be with her. I start to walk back to the car.

"I'm not incapable of love, you know. And you're not the only one who's decided to make a change lately. Why do you think I agreed to come see you for the first time in a while?"

Looks like I'm not the only one with a secret agenda. Not that mine is secret anymore. I assumed she decided to move past what happened in Baltimore. I guess there's more to it.

"I've always loved Stefan. That's not a surprise to you, is it? Hasn't it always been this way? Before you go and self-destruct as usual, could you tell me where I could find him this late at night?"

That manipulative bitch. She's intentionally doing this. She wants to break me. I guess she doesn't know that you can't break someone who's been broken his whole life.

I turn towards the car and start to lift my hand when Stefan gets out. He walks a few feet into the clearing.

"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that. Hello, Stefan," Katherine said in a flirty way.

"You need to leave, Katherine. This game you're playing is sick. I'm not buying into it. So no matter how much you 'love' me, I won't care. I'm going to act like you don't exist because you don't. Not to me."

"Stefan, why are you trying to hurt me? I don't like it. The least you could've done was given me a friendly greeting like Damon's."

If I would've known the night would be like this, her friendly greeting would've been a nice shove from my car.

"I know you, Stefan. You need someone to love you. I've told you countless times that I do. Why can't you let yourself feel something for me?"

I hate how she does that. She's always repeating people's names to gain their trust. From what I've noticed, Elena does that too. I wonder if she actually means it.

"That's exactly why! I had someone. I had my brother. You ruined that so I would love you. I think you're the one who's desperate for affection. You're not screwing up anymore lives. Go back to whatever hell you crawled out of," Stefan shouts.

"Why exactly do you not want me around? You have no one. Damon and you clearly don't get along since he brought you here to watch me 'confess my love' for him. I was your only family, Stefan. My intentions are pure. _There's nothing more I have to destroy to be with you_."

Stefan's face is burning with anger. He looks over to me to make sure I won't mention Elena just to spite him. I want to, but I won't. There' something about her that makes me want to protect her. That's strange because I'm not the brother with the hero complex. I stare back in a way that will hopefully tell him I'll comply.

However, our brother-to-brother stares aren't very stealthy. Katherine has always been and still is very intuitive.

"Unless there is someone. Who is it? I'm expecting a quick and honest answer."

"Go to hell," Stefan resolutely chimes back.

"You don't want to tell me? No matter. It's a small town. Do you really think it'll be hard for me to figure out who's in your life these days?"

Now I'm getting angry. If Katherine could break Stefan and I apart so easily, I can't even imagine what she'll do to Elena. Not that I care all that much.

I finally speak up.

"I'm not going to play along. Feel free to screw with the whole town for all I care. You'll still end up alone. That's why you'll end up needing me. Goodbye, Kat."

I walk back to the car and start it up. Katherine and Stefan's standoff continues. They stare at each other, each trying to get the other to understand how serious they are. Good luck, Stefan. She doesn't give up without a fight.

* * *

**Fewf! It feels great to have these 15 chapters posted. I have about 6 more written so I'm trying to post them in threes. Also, I'll be adding a new perspective in the next chapter. Hopefully i can get chapters 16-20 posted by Friday! Once again, thanks for all the reviews, favorites, and follows. It's so great to know that people are reading the story!**

**xoxo Liz**


	16. Criminals

Time for a new strategy. It's time to take inventory of my artillery. I've been back in town for almost two days and all I've got is that Damon's still pining for me and Stefan is with someone new. I'm not worried. Everyone has their rebounds. I'm sure I can fix this.

Weapons

1. Stefan's secrets

2. Lies

3. My charm

4. Damon

These are the four that come to mind. Stefan's past is anything but pretty. If he's trying to make a fresh start, my best bet is to fill his harlot in on his past. I've got a few stories that might change her mind. If she doesn't view Stefan any differently after those, I'm a brilliant liar. There's plenty of things I can make up to get her out of the picture. My charm is probably the strongest weapon. I should've listed it first. I'll use it along with the others. If memory serves, I'll be able to have Stefan in the palm of my hand quite easily.

If all else fails, I'll return to my usual backup plan: Damon. Somehow Damon can break him. I need Stefan back in his most vulnerable stage so I can be his safe haven again. I wonder why Damon was silent about this girl. Why would he help Stefan?

History does have a way of repeating itself... And I'm a history buff. Turning Damon towards Stefan's temporary girlfriend may be the best plan of them all.

I don't sleep tonight. Sleep is the enemy when you're planning an intricate attack. I look in the mirror of my motel bathroom and to no surprise at all, I still look gorgeous. I could use a bit of extra lipstick, though.

A voluptuous red should do the trick.

Looking at myself in the mirror isn't always easy. I'm not sure if I recognize the woman staring back at me. This isn't the girl you fell in love with, Stefan. This woman is cold and bitter.

Pull yourself together, Pierce. What can I do to infiltrate their lives? Obviously I'll need to mingle with the locals in town, but I need more than that. Luckily, I've managed to sign up for a few classes at the local college.

The college. Ugh, it's Sunday isn't it? Looks like it's about time for my inconveniently placed meeting. At least one person in Briarview is on my side. I sigh and walk out the door of my tiny motel room.

I walk down the streets of Briarview and search high and low for a place that's familiar. Nothing strikes me that way. I don't see this place as a home. It's more of a battlefield in my memory. I pass the library, the local grocery store, a consignment shop, and finally a new bar that hadn't been here when I was young: The Briarview Pub. Sounds like a great place to get some information, but not today.

An immense building comes into sight. The college sits on the outskirts of town. It seems to offer an escape from this hellhole, but it's all an illusion. This is where the Briarview lifers live and die.

It's not your typical ivy-looking university. It's large, but all brick. There's a lovely quad with an enormous clock in the center. I could use a bit of help with punctuality. Looks like Briarview College will be "the perfect fit."

I'm supposed to meet my only ally in the very back parking lot near the janitorial entrance. _This _won't look shady at all.

I sigh. Hopefully my new collaborator is a bit more creative with plans than meeting spots.

"Katherine Pierce," a voice says from behind a red Chevy truck.

"It's been a long time," the voice continues.

"I don't have time to reminisce. We need to get this plan in motion before Damon leaves."

"Why would he leave so soon? He's here for you."

"I may have sent him off the deep end last night, but that's not important. I can keep him here."

"What the hell, Katherine? You were supposed to lure Damon back here and help me carry this out."

"I did and I will. Don't lose your head. Damon's too hurt to leave without trying to get revenge. But let's not forget your end of the deal."

"It'll be a lot easier than you thought. Turns out Damon's interested in Stefan's girlfriend. All we need to do is convince him that they're together."

"Or we could just bash her head in," I say jokingly. Well, semi-jokingly.

"We're leaving her out of this. It's going to be an illusion. She doesn't need to be anywhere near either of them."

"Your concern is nauseating. That's fine for now, I suppose. I'll take care of bringing Damon to you whenever you're ready, but we need to make some progress on the Stefan front first."

"Sounds fair. You'll hear more from me tomorrow."

My mysterious disappears behind the truck without a sound.

We're making progress.

* * *

**What do you guys think of Katherine's perspective? I'm still working on it. Her next chapter is more insightful. The suspense is thickening with this new alliance!**

**xoxo Liz**


	17. Inconsistencies

Last night is a blur. After too many drinks to count, Bonnie and Jer walked me home. It was great catching up, but I was a bit distant. I really do want to spend some time with them, but I need to clear my head of this Salvatore timeworn drama first.

Jeremy hugged me and said he missed me. That hurt more than I expected it to. I want to go home, but there's no way I can. Things can't be the same as they were.

Stefan came in really late last night. I wonder where he went. He doesn't really do much without me, something that has irritated me the past few months. I'm glad he's getting out but coming home past midnight is unlike him.

I roll over to my right where Stefan is sleeping peacefully. He's got a faint smile upon his face. It's nice to see him smile. I trace his jaw line with my finger and kiss him softly.

He opens his eyes and his smile grows.

"Hey, you." Stefan says with a yawn.

"Hey yourself. Someone had a late night last night."

"Oh... yeah." Stefan stutters as the smile fades. He continues.

"I was with Damon."

Damon? Damon Salvatore? Great. His body's probably buried beneath the willow on the back lawn.

"Was this bonding or an attempt to drive him out of town?"

"I suppose you can call it bonding. We talked about ….stuff that went down years ago over drinks."

They must've went pretty far for "a few drinks" because I was at the pub all night.

"Where'd you get drinks?"

"Just at the pub. We caught up with Rick and the rest of the usuals. We had an ok time I guess."

Stefan's lying to me. I was at the pub about an hour before he came home. I can't take any more secrets.

What a great opportunity for the "new me" to come rushing in. I'll be blunt.

"I don't mean to sound tactless but what the hell, Stefan? You weren't at the pub. Do you not remember calling up Bonnie and asking her to take me out? I was at the pub all night."

Stefan freezes. He gets that look again: the one where he sees me as a stranger.

"Why are you getting upset? I think you misunderstood. We hung out and talked at the Fell house for a while. We stopped for drinks really quickly before we came home. We weren't there for long so I must've missed you."

"What about all the locals you schmoozed with? Rick left before I did."

Stefan freezes and again regains his composure.

"I didn't want to mention what really happened at the pub so I said we schmoozed with locals. Damon got in a fight with a few of them and that's why we left. It was just typical drunken antics. It's really nothing to worry about."

I don't believe him. He's still lying but I've run out of tactless outbursts for the day.

"Fine. I'm going to go see some friends today and I'll be sure to make up some story about where I went once I'm back."

I retreat with a melodramatic door slam. I hope he gets the point.

We never fight like this. This isn't us. Maybe that's good, though. "Us" was getting a bit tiresome.

I open the door of my former bedroom to grab a few things, hoping not to wake Damon. Much to my surprise, Mr. Mysterious is already up and gazing out the window. The sun is shining on his perfectly sculpted face. He really is quite attractive. I can't even see his piercing blue eyes from this angle, but even his jaw line is striking. Not to mention, last night's shirt is held together by only a few bottom buttons.

Elena, do not look at his chest.

I'm looking at his chest. You'd think it was sculpted by Michelangelo. Before I finish gazing, Damon catches me spying.

"I know I've been away for some time but I'm fairly certain 'knocking' is still a thing," he jokes.

"I'm sorry. I just needed to grab a few things I left behind…"

"If one of those things is a necklace, it's still hanging on the armoire. "

I look to my right and my necklace is carefully draped across the door of the giant chestnut armoire. I never leave the house without it. The necklace belonged to my mother. It's the last piece of her left.

The necklace is ornately decorated with vines and roses on the round locket. It's engraved with my mother's initials. My father had it made for her the year they got married.

I nostalgically stare at the jewelry until Damon wakes me from my melancholy slumber.

"You have impeccable taste."

I grin.

"It was my mother's, actually. My father had it made for her as a wedding present. "

"Romantic," he said with a deep stare.

I couldn't tell if he was being bitter or regretful. What could romance mean to a man who's never been loved?

"It is romantic, but their relationship wasn't perfect. They had a lot of rough patches before finding each other," I hint.

"I get it. There's plenty of fish in the sea, my soul mate's out there somewhere, blah blah. You're so transparent."

Why won't he accept my compassion? I look down and wait for him to say something.

"I'm assuming Stefan told you all the gory details of last night. You're probably on Damon Destruction duty."

Here it is: the perfect opportunity to find the truth. Come to think of it, Damon's reappearance has brought nothing but truth.

"Actually, he hasn't told me a thing. I got a story about bonding and beating up bar patrons."

"Ah, and you don't believe him. Smart girl. As much as I'd love to revel in your anger towards him, I have to admit that he's just trying to protect you. Though, you'd probably be safer knowing what was going on."

"But I'm not a child. He can't just lie to me and expect me to be okay with it. Our relationship should be a partnership."

"Touché. If it's any consolation, I'd have told you the truth."

That's because you're painfully honest, Damon. Maybe that's why you intrigue me so much.

"Then tell me the truth now."

I can see Damon is wrestling with his pride and nobility. Why is this such a big secret? My thoughts are interrupted as Damon begins to speak.

"Last night I had planned to meet with Katherine. Stefan knew that, so he decided to join me. I didn't object because I wanted to see his face when he saw that Katherine and I still have something."

Now I'm confused and my face shows it.

"Let me clarify that. Katherine and I have been seeing each other on and off for the past couple years. It wasn't as much "seeing" as it was as hooking-up, but either way, I've been coming back once a year and meeting her in the woods near the Fell house. She didn't call last year, though. The year before we had a bit of a falling out. I guess she needed some time. Anyways, she called me to meet her here and that's why I came back to town. I wanted Stefan to see that she had feelings for me so I brought him with me to the woods last night."

"So you've been seeing Katherine every year? Even while she was with Stefan?"

"Of course. My chasing of her might be pathetic, but it's not _that_ pathetic. There was hope, you know. Last night I decided to stand up for myself and ask her how she felt. Long story short, we called things off. Spare me the sympathy, though. You're the one who needs it."

So Katherine's back, she broke Damon's heart, and now he feels sorry for me?

"I'm afraid to ask this, but why me?"

"Because Katherine's back and she's claimed Stefan. She's not going to stop until she destroys you."

Well, that's not what I was hoping to hear. So now I have a crazy ex-girlfriend after me. Shit.

Elena, you'll be fine. It's just a confused girl chasing after her first love. You can't get hurt.

"I won't let her get to me. It'll be fine. Plus, Stefan wouldn't let her hurt me."

Damon chuckles and sighs.

"You don't understand what Katherine is capable of. All she's ever known is manipulation. Look at what she did to Stefan and I. Your relationship is next and there's nothing you can do about it. If you're smart, you'll walk away now before things get scary."

Is Katherine violent? I know she can try to break Stefan and I apart but why should I be scared?

Damon understands my question just from my facial expressions.

"I don't know. She's crazy. I'm not sure what she'll try. I've seen her do some… bad things. Just be careful."

I can't even come up with words. I'm terrified. What could Katherine have done to make Damon so afraid of what she'll do to me? Suddenly, I don't feel very safe leaving the house.

Either way, I've got to get out of here—away from the Salvatore drama. I grab my necklace and fidget with the clasp. My hands are shaking. Get a grip, Elena.

I tense up and become extremely warm as Damon walks up behind me.

"You've really got that nervous fidgeting down."

He takes hold of the necklace and gracefully clasps it together. He lingers a moment and then steps back.

Every bone in my body is now shaking. I really hope he can't notice. I've never been that close to Damon before. I also never realized how exhilarating it feels. I've got to shake this fascination, but I can't. There's so much about him that I still don't understand.

"Well, I should get going. I don't think I can be here today."

I dare to ask a question that will change my state of mind. Possibly forever.

"Would you like to come with me?"


	18. Travelers

If I continue keeping secrets I'm going to lose her forever. I can't believe I lied to Elena today. Most of all, I can't believe she knew and proceeded to call my bluff. I hate lying to her, but if Katherine's demeanor last night is any indication of what she plans to do, then I need to keep Elena far from all of this.

I wonder where she went today. Hopefully she's with Bonnie or Caroline blowing off steam. They're always on my side. They'll reassure her.

I try to finish some coursework that's due tomorrow, but I stumble through all of it. I'm mentally imprisoned by my fear. Elena's been slipping through my fingers more and more every day. I'm afraid that it's such a thing string that Katherine can easily cut.

I've got to keep focused. This is war. Suddenly my phone rings.

I answer without saying a word.

"Elena Gilbert."

Katherine always was resourceful. I still say nothing, hoping all of this will just float away.

"Your silence is deafening, Stefan."

"What do you want, Katherine?"

"I think I've made my desires very clear. Right now, though, I just want to meet up with you. It's a simple request."

"There's no chance in hell."

"Why aren't you afraid? I'm not going to stop, Stefan. We're going to fix things."

"There's nothing to fix! Our relationship ended once I discovered who you really are. I hate you."

"Ouch. You're hurting my feelings, Stefan. The more pain I feel, the more pain I'll cause."

"I'm not afraid of you. You're all talk and you always have been."

"Is that so? I'm assuming Damon never told you about Baltimore."

"What are you getting at, Kat?"

"Ask your brother about Baltimore. Maybe then you'll be more willing to comply."

"Why don't you just tell me?"

"Why don't you meet me for lunch?"

I've got to admit, I'm intrigued.

I cave.

"Not here. Meet me in the next town over. There's a place called Elijah's right off the expressway. "

"It's a date." She hangs up.

This could be good. The more friendly I act towards her, the less she'll try and hurt Elena. We're off to a decent start.

I pull out of the garage and drive down Lockwood St. Much to my surprise, Damon's camaro speeds past me with none other than Elena in the passenger seat.

It's clear that he sees me, so he pulls over. I follow angrily.

Like I've said, I hate to be the jealous boyfriend type, but the sight in front of me is far from pretty.

"So, what's going on here?"

"We're going for a drive. Some of us need to clear our heads because Katherine's obsession with you is ruining our lives."

Elena chimes in.

"He's giving me a ride. I have some errands to run today. Where are you off to?"

I completely forgot that I'm off to meet Katherine. And of course, I can't tell her that.

"Uh, the same. Just running some errands."

"Is that so? What a coincidence," Elena snares.

With that bitter attitude you'd think she was becoming Damon. What a wonderful influence my brother has been on her. It's obvious she knows I'm not running errands. So, I might as well leave it at that.

"Be careful."

Though it pains me to drive away from Elena and leave her with Damon, I have no choice. Learning what happened in Baltimore could be the key to ridding my life of both Katherine and Damon.

I drive towards the expressway and cruise for about thirty minutes until I hit my exit.

As the sign for Elijah's comes into view, I park my car towards the back of the lot.

It's a small flamingo pink building with a brightly lit sign. Tacky, but common for this part of town.

I cautiously walk through the door and look for Katherine.

There she sits. Her raven curls are swooped over one shoulder. She purses her ruby lips seductively when she spots me.

I shake my head and sit down.

"Stefan, just in time. You picked the perfect spot."

"How so?"

"You've been here before."

Actually, I have. I wonder how she knew.

"Yes, the last time Damon visited. Before I told him to screw off, he asked me to meet him here."

"You really haven't left Briarview since then? Tragic. Elijah's is originally from Baltimore. He moved here two years ago. "

"You knew I'd choose this place?"

"If you didn't I was going to suggest it. As much as I dread seeing Elijah, I figured we should start this conversation where it all began."

"This sounds like a game."

"You always loved playing with me, Stefan."

"Not now. Tell me about Baltimore or I'm leaving."

"Patience is a virtue. Aren't you supposed to be the virtuous brother?"

She's tricking me into something. I can feel it. Out of the corner of my eye I see a man approaching our table. I can tell from his outfit that he's not a waiter. Katherine speaks to him.

"Elijah. Long time no see. This is Stefan. Stefan Salvatore."

"I asked you long ago not to come back here," Elijah says forcefully.

"Back then, 'here' was Baltimore. If you haven't noticed, we're in Georgia," she says with a sarcastic grin.

I can't deal with this cryptic exchange, so I interrupt.

"Hi, I'm Stefan Salvatore. I'm here to figure out what happened between my brother and this charming irritant in Baltimore."

He's unmoved by my interruption.

"Get out. Both of you. Before I call the police," Elijah says.

He's clearly disturbed by our presence and I still have no idea why. What the hell happened?

"You're not foolish enough to do that, now are you? We'll finish our meal and then we'll be off," Katherine replies.

Though it seems he's about to say more, Elijah walks off, angry and frightened. Katherine continues talking.

"I hope Elijah's composure is enough of a warning to you. I've done a lot of dark things and I'm willing to do them again if need be. All I want is a chance to be part of your life again, Stefan. Is that so much to ask? You loved me once. In fact, you're here with me now. You're still interested. You just don't want to admit it yet."

"And you're insane. I don't know what you did in Baltimore and I should've realized you wouldn't give me a straight answer. I'm leaving, Katherine. This is done."

"Stefan, I have plenty of weapons left. Don't test me."

I don't care. I'll protect Elena. No matter what dirty business Katherine and Damon got themselves into, I'll keep Elena out of it. Without turning back, I storm out the door.

I walk out to my car and start the engine.

Much to my dismay, Katherine quickly jumps in the passenger's seat.

"It's an hour long drive back to Briarview with traffic. I don't feel like spending it alone."

"Really, Kat?"

She gives the familiar pout. Why am I so eager to comply?

In my rearview mirror, I see Elijah watching for us to leave. Wow. What they did must've really been serious.

Katherine's bound to slip if I pleasure her with my company for a while. Could an hour with her do that much damage?


	19. Repairs

We stop by the market and dry cleaner's. It's a typical, suburban day of errands. If I didn't have such interesting company I'd be bored out of my mind. Elena has a strange ability to make every moment enjoyable. She chuckles and embraces the small things. And though I'll probably deny saying this, she makes this town worth living in.

"Okay. Errands are done. There are just two more places I need to go if you're up for it."

Truth be told, I wouldn't miss it. I'll play it cool, though.

"That depends on if they involve more nauseatingly suburban places."

"Well, I've been meaning to do these things for a while and I want to get them out of the way while I have the courage. That's why I brought you. I figured I'd find a way out of it if I didn't have someone forcing me."

Helping her achieve her goals could win me some points. Why not?

"Just call me your motivational speaker for the day. Are we breaking up with Stefan? Quitting the cheer squad? Declining running for Miss Briarview?"

"Thank you for reminding me of how superficial you think I am. But, no. I'm going to visit my house for the first time in a while and then I'll visit my parents."

Why does this sound like my yearly errands when I return to Briarview? I haven't visited my parents' graves since their funeral, though. I'm not leaving the car for that. They don't deserve a visit.

"You seem skeptical. I'm sorry, I just really need to see my brother. He means a lot to me and our relationship has been kind of…strained? I just need to start fixing it."

"Is this your way of having me learn by example?"

"No, actually. It's the opposite. I've been trying so hard to get you and Stefan to work things out when my relationship with my brother is far from perfect. I kind of lost sight of what's important when I met Stefan. I've neglected my family and I need to start working on that."

That's admirable. Maybe I'd value family that much if mine had cared for me at all. It's strange to think about. That's why I mostly choose not to.

We continue driving. She directs me down each street until we eventually reach a modest white house. It has a quaint porch with a swing. The front door is large and welcoming. This house is the embodiment of Elena Gilbert.

I'm not going to sit here and twiddle my thumbs. I might as well join the family reunion. Maybe I'll pick up a few pointers.

As we walk toward the front door side by side, she glances at me with a concerned "you're coming?" sort of look. I grin and nod back.

She's nervous. She stands in front of the door but won't knock.

"Maybe we should come back. Bonnie's car isn't in the driveway. There's no buffer. It's gonna be all out there and awkward. I just can't."

"I'm here. There's your buffer. You're never gonna do it if you don't do it now."

"Right. Okay. "

She continues to stand still. The hell with it. I knock about 20 times so her brother will hurry up. I want to get this sentimental moment over with.

Jeremy rushes to the door and skeptically opens it.

"Elena… and Stefan's brother from the bar. Great to see you," he says sarcastically.

"Always a joy, Gilbert."

Elena doesn't realize that we've already met. Her quizzical expression makes that evident.

"Jeremy, I want to talk."

He opens his arm towards the living room. We walk inside and sit down.

The room is just as quaint and welcoming as the front of the house. Bright wall colors with white molding give the room its colonial look. This is a real family home. My dark Victorian mansion wasn't exactly a child's paradise.

"Jeremy, I want to apologize. I'm starting to reevaluate my life and my choices. Running off with Stefan when you needed me most was really wrong. I was trying to deal with things in my own way, but it all blew up in my face."

Jeremy says nothing.

"I know I lived here, but I didn't really live here. I kind of checked out. I became a different person: someone who's naïve and selfish. I depended on Stefan for everything. I understand why you hate him, but it's not his fault. As much as I don't want you to hate me, I'm taking all the blame. But I really want you to find a way to forgive me. Look at us, Jer. It's been three years… How have we moved on or changed at all? We haven't. We've just filled our lives with anger or distractions. I'm trying to move on and I'm not going to do it without you."

I'm not a sentimental person, but this scene is touching. Elena is really dissatisfied with her life. It seems like it's all rainbows and butterflies, but she's disappointed in who she's become. We have a lot more in common than I previously thought.

Jeremy eventually responds.

"You can't just make up for all that time with one conversation. "

"I'm not trying to. It's a process. I think to start this I should move home."

Just when we're getting to know each other, she's going to move out. This certainly puts a damper on my day. I'll have no excuse to talk with her or see her if she moves back.

"Isn't that a little rash?" I chime in.

"Damon, I'm trying to be part of my own family again."

How do I find a response that's not selfish?

"Well, you don't want to rush things. It's awkward right now. Don't force yourself on him. Just give it time. Hang out, talk, you know?"

"As much as it _pains _me to agree with him, I do. If you're sincere about wanting to gain back all that lost time then I guess I'm up for it, but if you just move back in like that it'll seem phony. I want to genuinely want you here."

Ouch. I didn't mean for him to hurt her. Oh, he's not done.

"And I'm mostly accepting of this re-bonding because you're distancing yourself from Stefan. Even if you want to take all the blame, he's needy and won't let you out of his sight."

"I'm out of his sight now, aren't I?"

I grin and nod at Jeremy. Clearly I'm a great influence on Elena's inner confidence. I've now found one person in this town who prefers me over Stefan.

"Alright. So what do you plan to do to win my trust back?"

"I don't know, Jer. I've given it a lot of thought but maybe just like Damon said, it should be more natural. Let's just spend more time together. Why don't we go visit Jenna next weekend? We can have dinner on Friday like we used to?"

"Both of those sound good," Jeremy says with a slight smile.

Wow. "like Damon said." She's taking my advice. I like that we're starting to trust each other. It's pleasant because I don't really trust anyone else.

Elena's phone starts buzzing. On the screen I see "15 missed texts from: Stefan."

I didn't realize he was _that_ needy. Yikes.

"Are you gonna get that?" Jeremy asks.

"Nope. I'm busy," Elena says with a bright smile.

The two continue to reminisce and laugh about the past. It wouldn't be horrible if Stefan and I could find our way back to this type of place one day.

The two siblings stand up and hold tight in an embrace for a few minutes. This is touching, I suppose.

"I'll see you Friday," Elena shouts as she walks out the door.

As I step through the doorway, Jeremy grabs my shoulder.

"If you want to join us Friday, feel free."

"That sounds nice and all but I'd rather not re-live the awkwardness of this moment."

"I wasn't inviting you because I want you there. It'll be awkward for Rick and he said you two hit it off the other night."

Ah, the professor. I had heard that he lived here with Jeremy. He wasn't that irritating, so I guess I could stop by. And frankly, I'd like to spend more time with Elena.

"See you at seven."

* * *

**I don't know about you guys, but I love the way Elena and Damon develop together. That's all. Hope you're enjoying the chapters!**

**xoxo Liz**


	20. Unfolding

]Driving down this open highway with Stefan feels divine. It's just like old times. The Cure is playing on the radio and I drift back through my memories of our time spent together.

I'm curious to know how he's spent his time without me. Is he happy? Did he miss me at all? He had to have.

"So Stefan, what've you been up to the past two years?"

"You really want to make small talk?"

"That's far from small. I want to hear _every_ detail."

"So you want me to tell you all about my relationship with Elena. Then you can find weak spots and manipulate me."

"So there are weak spots. That's comforting, but no. It's not what I wanted to hear. I'm legitimately interested in what you've been up to, besides missing me, of course."

"Katherine, I've never missed you because you never leave me alone."

Really, because I thought the past two years counted as alone. All I've been doing is feeling alone. My sarcasm subsides. I wonder what he sees in her. I want to know what's so different about their relationship that makes it more feasible than ours.

"How'd you meet her?"

"Are we really going to do this?"

"I'm actually interested, Stefan. Remember for just one second that I'm human and can be interested in people that I care about. And before you tell me that I care about no one, just know that I do care about you. That's why I'm fighting so hard for this, no matter how maliciously I do it."

We sit in silence for a few minutes. I look out my window and glance at the Georgia swamps. The drive to Briarview is far from picturesque. Then again, it doesn't matter. Stefan has always had the ability to take me away from whatever ugly place I'm in, figuratively or literally. Surprisingly, he speaks up.

"We met at school. As you know, I started going to the public high school, then I met Elena. We had AP History together."

"Romantic. Tell me more."

Yuck. At least it isn't as cliché as having 'chemistry' together.

"I don't know. She was going through a lot and I was going through a lot. We were there for each other and that's kept us strong."

Are. you. kidding. me.

Why does that sound so familiar? Oh wait, because that's exactly what I did for him. He was clearly just looking for my replacement and happened to find it in the first girl he met at school.

"That's quite the original story, Stefan."

"It may seem that way, but she didn't have to take away everything in my life to get me to love her. She's nothing like you. _That's_ why I love her."

Well that hurt. Clearly he's spent quite a bit of time comparing us, though. That's a good sign.

"So basically she's boring."

"Quite the contrary. Every moment is worth living when she's around. She's not just a temporary escape like you were. She's my life. She's my family."

"I hate that you write off our relationship like I manipulated you the whole time."

"You did. You planned to get me so vulnerable that I'd turn to you."

He'll never forgive me for this. Suddenly, a plan comes to mind. What if he did forgive me? In fact, what if it never happened? What if I deny my misdeeds? I certainly can't tell him about Baltimore anymore, but I can twist the story in my favor. I can rewrite the past.

Maybe I didn't intend to get rid of Damon. Maybe I just "loved them both." It's somewhat true.

"I'd love to believe that. I really wish that was the truth, Stefan. I pretend that it is," I utter melodramatically.

"Ha! What else could've been your reason for edging Damon out of town?"

Time to be cryptic. I need to work on acting damaged.

"Maybe it wasn't intentional."

I need to get him on my side. He needs to see that everything I did was "out of love" or something. It technically was, it just wasn't done as kindly as I'll portray it.

"Do you really think that I was so cruel that I'd make Damon fall in love with me just so I could break his heart and make him leave?"

I was that cruel. Living the live I've lived does that to you. It's a shame Damon had to suffer, but I'll always look out for my own interests first. It's the nature of vagabonds such as I.

"Yes, I do. You are cruel, Katherine."

For a moment, I let my emotions permeate my disguised front.

"Damnit, Stefan. You act like you don't know me at all. I had a fucked-up childhood. I became what I am now because of it, but I never intended to hurt you or Damon. The truth is, I loved both of you. I was just being honest with Damon the night he left. He wanted me too much. You know that's not me. I don't commit or tie myself down, especially when I had feelings for you that were competing with my feelings for him."

Stefan looked at me angrily, but quizzically as well. He's trying to figure out if I'm lying. Smart boy.

"I never meant for Damon to leave. I just couldn't go on without him knowing that my heart wasn't fully his. Then he lost it. I never wanted that to happen. You tell the story like I had this elaborate plan to get Damon to leave you so I could move in. That's not what happened at all. I wanted you to love me because that's how you felt, not because you were alone. Damon did. It's not impossible."

"So you're trying to tell me that your biggest crime was loving both of us?"

"At that point in my life, yes. After you started hating me, I became a different person. I'm not saying I haven't manipulated either of you since. I just wanted you to know that my love for both of you was pure. I had a part in the breakdown of your relationship with Damon but it was never intentional."

"This is just your way of trying to make me feel guilty."

"No, it's not. I understand why you broke up with me. You thought I'd been trying to ruin your life. I would've done the same thing. I didn't tell you the truth before because I didn't want to seem weak. I figured you wouldn't understand the whole 'me loving both of you thing.'"

Stefan looks forward and nods his head as he drives. I've confused him. Good.

"Do you remember how in love we were?"

"No."

He's lying. I can see it in his eyes. The story I just unfolded became another comedy of errors in Stefan's soap opera of a life.

"I know you're thinking about what could have been had you known. We've got plenty of time to figure that out now that I'm back."

"No, Katherine. That doesn't matter. You're still an awful person. How could you expect me to forgive you after all you've been doing to Damon intentionally? Not to mention you were sleeping with him the whole time we were together."

"I was a child. I didn't know what I wanted. Now I do."

I stare intently into his eyes. There's still a spark. I can feel it in my bones. So can he.

I slowly plant a kiss on his cheek as he stares forward. He doesn't flinch. He doesn't turn to look at me. No matter.

Progress, progress.


	21. Challenges

That was good. So good. Jeremy and I are finally finding a way to put our family back together. Next week, it'll be three years since my parents died. I want to have moved on by then. I want to be a new, better person. This is a great start. I'm glad Damon made me go inside. Stefan would've complied with my wishes and let me leave. Now off to the cemetery. It's time to stare into the past. I don't know if I'm ready to face my parents. All the plans I had for myself were destroyed. I'd done absolutely nothing since I saw them last. Will they be proud of me? Probably not.

"Are you ready?" Damon asks as we pull out of the driveway.

"As ready as I'll ever be. What about you?"

"Am I ready to meet your parents? Elena, this is a big step. I don't think I am."

I chuckle. Comedy is a wonderful defense mechanism for him. I completely forget my important questions when he grins and cracks a joke.

"Your parents are buried there too. I'm sure you haven't forgotten."

"I'm not seeing them. I'm there for you and your new 'spiritual journey' and whatnot."

I don't what to push him, but maybe looking back is exactly what he needs to do to find his way back to Stefan. I really want things to work for the two of them.

"You might as well pay your respects..."

"They wouldn't want me there in the first place. I'm sure Stefan goes every weekend. That's more than enough for them."

It makes me really sad to know that Damon thinks his parents didn't love him. They had to have. Buried deep beneath that rough exterior, he has an enormous heart. I just know it. The way he's supported me after knowing me for only a few days proves that there's much more compassion in him than anyone knows.

"There's no way your mother didn't love you. Don't think that."

He grimaces and turns backward. The car is parked now. I don't think he'll walk with me.

Great, Elena. You've upset him.

"I feel like I'm always apologizing to you lately but again, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to help."

Damon nods his head and begins to say something. Then he stops. Bitterness flashes across his previously emotionless face.

"You don't know anything about my mother. She loved Stefan. I was a burden. It's the cycle of my life."

"That's impossible. Maybe she was frustrated with your behavior but I'm sure she loved you. Like I said, it's impossible not to."

"How so?" He asked with a contemplative expression.

"I don't know how to explain it, but I know you're just as compassionate and loving as your brother. You try and hide it, but I can see it. The way you helped me today with my brother makes that pretty clear. You practically just met me and you're already helping me better myself. Only someone with a big heart could do that. Either that or you're just trying to hang out with me to bother Stefan."

"Why are you so sure it's not the latter?"

"If you wanted to bother Stefan there's a lot more you could've done."

Like kiss me this morning while you were clasping my necklace.

Stop, Elena. Don't go there.

Why can't I forget that? There's something about him that gets me so excited. Once I saw him this morning, my whole perspective on the day changed. I saw mystery and adventure.

Crap, did he sense how suggestive that was? He's staring at me. His intense blue gaze is infiltrating my mind and I can't even remember what I was trying to say.

"You have some high expectations of me and my intentions."

He says as he walks closer to me.

He needs to stop. Right there. Any closer and I can't be held accountable for my actions. Here comes my own defense mechanism: word vomit.

"Damon, I think you're an honorable man. That might sound really cheesy, but I think you want the same things out of life that any person wants. Your life just didn't start out as well as others. We're similar, believe it or not. You just didn't come from the kind of family I did, and that screwed with you. I think you still ended up being a good man. I admire that because you basically raised yourself to be that way."

"I'm not a good man, Elena. You know how I've treated my brother these past few years."

"And he accidentally stole your girlfriend. It's all misunderstandings."

"If I was a good man I wouldn't be here with you right now."

So he felt it too: the tension. We're dancing very close to that line that I cannot cross.

"You're here because you're interested. You care. That's not a sin."

He continues staring at me. Though being here might not be sinful, I can't say the same for his thoughts.

"Come with me. I don't want to do this alone."

I raise my hand from my side, hoping he'll take it. He needs a friend and so do I right now.

Damon hesitantly places his hand in mine. We walk through the rows of burial sites.

This town might as well be called Orphanview. So many parents of my classmates are buried in this same cemetery. It's a depressing site. Too many lives ended much too soon.

As I gaze across this flatland of death, I find comfort and light in the center near a large willow. My parents rest there. Damon and I walk towards the willow slowly.

I take a seat on the side of the tree facing my parents' headstones.

Damon continues standing.

Slowly and uncertainly, I attempt to talk with my parents.

"Hi, Mom. Dad."

My eyes swell with tears. I can't do this. I haven't visited them in so long. They must hate me. I suddenly understand how Damon feels about visiting his parents. I hate his parents for not loving him enough. Think of all the things he could've done with his life had they given him enough care.

That thought brings me back to my own parents. Look at me now. Clearly they loved me and still do. Talking to them shouldn't be this difficult. I'm making it harder than it has to be.

"I'm so sorry I haven't been here. You know all of my issues already, I'm sure. I tried to deal with this. I really did. It was too hard. I'm sorry."

This is overwhelming. I stop to catch my breath and wipe a tear.

"I'm trying to fix things with Jeremy…I'm so sorry."

I stop again as tears flow down my face. I try to contain my sobs. This is too much for me to deal with right now. I'm going to have to leave or come back another day.

"Stop apologizing," Damon interrupts.

Damon's words hit me like a brick.

"What?"

"They're your parents. They know why you did what you did. They don't care. They loved you. I don't know how to explain it, I just know," he says half mocking my earlier words, half sincerely.

I sniffle and stifle my tears for a moment. I can continue. This isn't me. I'm strong enough to face this.

"I'm trying to change things for myself. I want to make you both proud. I want to make Jenna proud. I can't end up here one day without having done anything for myself. "

I look up at Damon as I wipe the last tear from my cheek. He nods his head, assuring me that I can finish this. Why is he being so kind? Stefan really needs to see _this _side of his brother.

"Well, I'm going to start visiting more. I owe you both that much."

Damon's facing the other direction. I wonder if he's as emotionally disturbed being here as I am.

"I'm sure you've both heard about Stefan. This is his brother, Damon. He's the reason I'm here today. He's helping me challenge myself."

Damon turns around and stands awkwardly still. I can see that he blushes a bit.

"He's a great friend and I'm very happy that he's come back to town. We're going to go see his parents now. I'll be back really soon… I love you."

His grin subsides when he realizes I'm going to make him see his parents.

"Look, I know you don't want to see them, but you should probably do it. Get your feelings out. Even if they're not positive, let them know how you feel. It's a great start."

Damon muses over my suggestion for a while. Surprisingly, he places his hand outward and waits for me to take hold. Without hesitation, I grip his hand tightly and we walk.

I know in this moment that he really trusts me and that means the world to me.

As we walk down a winding path all the way to the end of the cemetery, I see dozens of immense, gothic headstones come into view. This must be the Salvatore family plot: depressing, yet regal.

"Welcome to my future," Damon says bitterly.

"It's not so bad. So, what have you got to say?"

Anger flashes across his face, then a bit of sadness. I know this is hard for him, but I think he needs to deal with what he's feeling. Both Stefan and Damon need to get to the root of the problem and stop blaming each other.

I place my hand on his shoulder to reassure him that he can do this.

"Hi. Guess what, Dad? I have a friend. I bet you're shocked. Mom. No, Stefan's not here."

He pauses.

"I can't believe I'm talking to giant rocks right now."

"You're so sentimental, Damon."

"I'm not finished! Dad, thanks for getting me hooked on bourbon. It's gotten me through a lot of sleepless nights. It's also gotten me into a lot of trouble. I'm sure, heaven or hell, you've found out about Baltimore. I wish you guys would've cared more. Or maybe I wish Stefan hadn't been so damn perfect. Either way, thanks for nothing," he mutters the last line with a salute.

He shrugs my hand off his shoulder and starts walking back towards the car.

"Damon, wait. I'm sor…I think you did really well. It was clever? Didn't it help to talk about it a little?"

"Not really," he shouts back as he continues walking.

I run after him.

"Your dad seems like he was an asshole. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for saying I'm sorry again. And again. I still don't believe that your mother didn't love you, but either way, it doesn't matter. Believe it or not, people care about you now."

"Not only did my mother not love me, she didn't even like me. And really, who likes me now?"

"I do."

His face is expressionless, so I continue trying to soften him up.

"Stefan does, too. He'll deny it but I know he cares. He just doesn't want you to think he's weak. Isn't that all of our problems? The three of us, I mean. We're always trying to hide our weaknesses instead of just being honest and confronting what's going on. "

"That's insightful."

"You can't make things right with your parents. It's too late. But Stefan already cares about you. Fix that. You can have a family, Damon."

I think I've finally broken through to the core. Maybe he's ready to make his way back to his brother.

"I'll talk to him. I can't guarantee anything. We're gonna have to get rid of Katherine first, though. We can't move forward with her being here."

For the first time in a while, a grin is plastered from ear to ear across my formerly melancholic face. He's going to try.

"Look at that. We're all moving forward. Do you realize how much you've helped me just by coming to town?"

"And how did I do that?"

"The day you got here I was a mess. I'm pretty sure you saw me sobbing in the bathroom. I got really restless with how boring my life is. I was thinking about all I've given up and what I'm left with. It's not enough. I don't want to be the pathetic girl that never leaves her hometown and gives up her dreams for her boyfriend. I gave up so much. I want it back. I never take what I want but I'm doing it now."

I grab his hand once again to signify the sincerity of my words.

"Then you arrived and it brought adventure and mystery. Figuring all of this out has helped me get to know not only you and Stefan much better, but even myself. I fixed things with Jeremy because I saw what a hypocrite I was being. Not to mention, the sky was always gray until that day you showed up. The sun came out. Literally and figuratively. Is it weird that I noticed that?"

I chuckle and hope he doesn't find me finding symbolism in the clouds creepy.

"Believe it or not, coming back is the best thing you could've done for your brother. You've just opened a lot of locked doors lately. Not just for Stefan, but for me. So, thank you."

Damon puts his head down to disguise his grin, but I still see it. I see right through him. I think we really understand each other. That's what's bringing us together.


	22. Revelations

Sitting here with Katherine is overwhelming. Did I really break up with her over nothing? She was sleeping with Damon, which is awful, but she hadn't really destroyed as much as I assumed. What happened in Baltimore? What's her plan now? I have so many questions.

"Stefan, I can tell just from looking at you that your mind is swimming with questions. I'd love to answer some of them. Do you still love me? Yes. Was breaking up with me a mistake? Yes. Should you break up with Elena? Yes. It's really that simple."

"What happened in Baltimore?"

"Are you even thinking about what this means for you and Elena?"

"No! I'm not concerned because I love her and that hasn't changed. The biggest threat to our relationship is Damon, not you."

"How's that?"

"They're out together right now doing God knows what. She said they're running errands but I don't trust him."

Katherine sits in silence for a few minutes. She seems to be thinking intently.

Eventually, a smirk crosses her face and she begins speaking again.

"You really should be terrified. He's not the boy you grew up with."

I may have a strong distaste for my brother, but I'm not terrified of him.

"I don't think he'll hurt her, Katherine. I'm just afraid he's going to force history to repeat itself."

"That or he's going to kill her just to hurt you."

"You really are insane. My brother isn't a murderer, he's just an asshole. "

"That's not what the Baltimore P.D. would say."

My mind freezes. Damon killed someone? He couldn't have. I've always held out hope that there were some redeeming qualities in my brother and not being a murderer was one of them.

"Shocked, huh? Your brother is a _cold-blooded killer_. I don't know how he sleeps at night."

"You're bluffing."

"_I don't lie to the people that I love_, Stefan."

"I want to know the whole story."

I push my foot down on the gas as hard as I can. I need to make it back in time. Though I don't fully believe Katherine, I need to get back to Elena. My fears of what Damon could do are piling up like logs in a bonfire.

"Looks like you have your doubts about him. Stefan slow down. Seriously, slow down."

"Are you bluffing? Answer the damn question, Katherine!"

Briarview is still miles away. What if Damon really did do this? Elena is with him—alone.

"No, I'm not. I wouldn't lie to you, Stefan. You really need to slow down! I'm not in the mood to die today!"

"I'm not slowing down if my brother is a killer! Elena is with him right now! TELL ME THE STORY!"

"Alright!"

Katherine takes a deep breath and begins spewing out a blurred stream of words incessantly.

"Shortly before we broke up, I sensed that you were getting upset with me. I wasn't sure why, so I asked Damon to meet me somewhere far away for our next rendezvous. We met in Baltimore where he'd been living. His friend Elijah owned a bar, so we went there for the evening. Apparently, Damon had been seeing this woman for a while. She was a bit older. She couldn't compete with me, but she was comely I suppose. When I showed up that evening, she attacked me and lost it because she realized I was with Damon. She was screaming at me like a madwoman. "

She's running out of breath from talking so fast. Clearly my reckless driving is scaring her. This is the ideal spot for an interrogation. I'm in control.

She attempts to find her place and begins again.

"Damon saw the whole scene and lost it as well. Everyone knows he's a bit crazy over me, but he really took it to a whole new level. He hit her really hard, and then she fell. I guess when she fell she smacked her head on the corner of the bar. By the time Elijah came over there she was dead. Basically, we've all been running from it ever since. Elijah helped us cover it up. That's why he hates us. He had to shut down the bar and relocate just to escape the scandal."

How does she say this so plainly? Elijah's behavior makes a lot more sense now. No wonder he wanted nothing to do with Katherine or a Salvatore. I like to think that I'm pretty good at being able to tell when Katherine is lying. For some strange reason, I believe this is one of the few times she's not.

"I'm afraid of what Damon's going to do now. I'm even more afraid that he's going to come after me or Elijah because we're the only ones who know. He's not stable, Stefan. If he gets hurt one more time he might lose it again."

"Oh God, what if he makes a pass at Elena? She'll stop him and what if…oh God. Kat we need to get back now."

"You're going as fast as you can, don't worry. Are you so sure Elena would reject him?"

"Of course! She's the one who's been trying to get him out of the house this whole time. She just wants us to fix things."

"Either way, she's in the line of fire. Been there."

We rocket down Main St. looking for Damon's car. It's nowhere to be found. We drive by every place in town and still: nothing.

There's no sign of them near the Fell house or the adjacent woods.

"Kat, what are we gonna do? He's got her. He must've taken her out of town."

"It's going to be okay, Stefan. They've got to be in town somewhere."

Is she really sympathetic or is this a trick? At this point, it doesn't matter. Two sets of eyes are better than one. We have to find them. I can't lose Elena.

"WE'VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE!"

"Why don't we check Elena's house?"

That's actually a great idea. She just met with Jeremy and Bonnie last night so it's feasible.

We pull into Elena's driveway and I jump out of the car awkwardly.

Jeremy hears us pull up and quickly opens the door.

"Where's Elena?" I say, out of breath.

"I haven't seen her since this afternoon. What the hell did you do?"

I wish Jeremy didn't look at me that way. I don't deserve to be judged. Even he knows that I've always been good to Elena.

"She and Damon are gone. I don't know where. I've looked everywhere, Jeremy. We've got to find them. What did they say earlier?"

"He came with her to try and fix things with me. We didn't talk about where they were going. We talked about visiting Jenna, dinner on Friday, and a bunch of other random things. I'm sure she's fine."

Jeremy isn't finished, though.

"And even though I mentioned dinner on Friday, that doesn't mean I'm inviting you. I'm trying to win my sister back and you're not helping with this obsessed boyfriend routine."

How can he be so casual? Rubbing a dinner party in my face right after I tell him his sister is missing?

"Thanks, Jer. Thank you for showing real concern for your sister."

"You're welcome. It'll make you happy to know that even your brother got an invite. That's how much I don't like you. If I do find my sister, I won't be calling you. Bye, Stefan."

Jeremy almost pushes me right out the door.

"If it helps, he didn't even acknowledge me," Katherine snarls.

Why is he so unconcerned? Is everyone so blinded by Damon's charm that they can't see she's in harm's way?

"If I was Damon, where would I take Elena?"

"Let's go back to your house and just wait it out. There's nothing else we can do. We've looked everywhere, Stef."

I concede. There's nothing left to do. If I lose her, I don't think I can go on. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry, Elena.


	23. Convictions

Elena and I drive home in blissful silence. The camaro is surrounded by an aura of delight. I've changed her life for the better. I can't believe she's thanking me. She doesn't realize what she's done for me yet. I'm getting all sappy à la Stefan, so I'll cut to the point. I feel appreciated. That's nice. Stefan won't like it, though.

And that is possibly my favorite part.

I turn to Elena.

"You know the sky's getting kind of dark. Looks like your metaphor was wrong."

"Ha ha, you're so funny. I was being serious! I tend to look for meaning in simple things. It's embarrassing but it keeps me thinking."

"It's interesting. I like it."

She dons a cute grin and crinkles her nose.

Elena Gilbert, stop making me fall in love with you.

We approach the driveway, and I see that Stefan's car is parked safely to the right of the garage. It looks as though our day of bliss is coming to an end. I'm disappointed, but I could use my daily dose of my broody brother.

This time, Elena turns to me.

"I had a nice time with you today."

"As did I. Thank you for…trusting me…and all that."

"I think I've trusted you since the day we met. We have some sort of understanding that I can't explain."

Ha, we've got something. That's for sure.

"Back to living out _The Days of Our Lives_ with Stefan and Katherine. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

I've asked her that twice now. Curious.

We walk up the brick steps and I hold the door for Elena.

"Anybody home? Big bad brother is here."

As soon as I speak, Stefan comes barreling down the stairs and runs me right into the wall.

"What the hell are you doing?" I shout while attempting to pull myself up.

"Stefan, what's wrong with you?" Elena adds.

"Where the hell were you two? I don't even care now. Damon, get out! Elena, go upstairs."

"Stefan, I think you forgot to take your pills this morning. If you haven't noticed, I'm making a pretty great impression on the locals," I turn to Elena.

"I don't trust you and you can't be around Elena."

I don't think I really crossed any lines today, though I wanted to. Hair-gel needs to cool it.

"Stefan, you can trust him. I trust him," Elena pleads.

"Well you shouldn't! You don't understand what he's done!"

"What I've done? Do you mean help your girlfriend put her life back together after you destroyed it? Sorry for being such a dick," I say as I struggle back to my feet.

Elena looks down, seemingly embarrassed.

"Whose life have I ruined? But really, let's talk about ruining people's lives, Damon. More specifically, let's talk about Baltimore."

Shit. He wouldn't. He can't tell Elena. She'll never look at me the same. I can't lose her right now when we've come so far.

"Let's not talk about Baltimore. If you want to do this, we can do it later. Don't get Elena involved."

"Elena already is involved because I'm terrified for her safety. How could I let her go anywhere with you after what you did?"

Elena angrily glares at Stefan and crinkles her nose in that familiar, adorable manner.

"How could you 'let' me? Stefan, I'm a _person_. I decide where I go, not you. If I want to spend the day with Damon, then I'm going to do it. I trust him. I don't care about your thoughts on the matter. I don't care about whatever happened in Baltimore. Damon's my friend and I'm safe with him. End of story."

A loud shuffle sounds from upstairs. Then, a wicked, familiar voice calls out.

"Ah, sorry. I tried to keep quiet and hide but I got a bit restless. Couldn't miss the party," Katherine announces as she walks down the stairs.

"Elena, meet the never-graceful Princess Katherine," I bitterly mutter.

"Elena, it's a pleasure. I've heard so much about you the past few days."

Elena's jaw slightly drops. I look at her and shrug. She knows I hadn't spent any time with Katherine. Stefan's secret rendezvous were spent in her company.

"Feel free to hurt me, steal my boyfriend, or whatever you're planning to do. If either of those things are as strong as I think they are, then they'll outlast a nuclear blast. Goodbye, Katherine," Elena declares as she retreats up the stairs.

Good for her. It's not the best way to greet Katherine because it'll upset her, but Elena's really blossoming into a force to be reckoned with. I like it.

Katherine isn't finished, though.

"Damon, Stefan and I were so worried for Elena's safety. Where were you?"

"Screw off, Katherine."

"No, Damon. I'd like to know where the hell you took Elena," Stefan says, still shouting.

"Will you stop yelling? You sound like one of those horrible infomercials. We visited Jeremy, we picked up groceries and dry-cleaning, and then we visited the cemetery. No one was harmed in the making of this production!"

"We didn't check the cemetery," Stefan admits to Katherine.

"She was visiting her parents. I don't know why you're so angry."

"I'm angry because I allowed my girlfriend to be out with a murderer!"

He really generalizes the term murderer doesn't he? There's one standing right beside him.

"I think the term you're looking for is 'accomplice to.' Even that's drastic."

"No, Damon. You murdered one of your girlfriends in Baltimore. That's why you need to leave before I call the police. You're lucky I don't do that right now. If I wasn't afraid you'd blame Katherine or Elijah I would do it."

Katherine. She would do this. She told Stefan I killed her. This is fantastic. Even worse—what if Elena hears this twisted version?

"It seems that Katherine has pulled the wool over your eyes yet again, brother. I'm not a murderer. I promised to always protect her secret but fuck that. Katherine killed her, not me."

"You expect me to believe that Katherine killed a woman over you?"

"Yeah, she did."

I was surprised myself.

"Damon, she doesn't even love you. You're just digging yourself in deeper. I need you to leave. Tonight."

I was coming home to fix things with my brother, as I always do. Then of course the K-bomb goes off right before reconciliation.

"How could you go this far? How'd you end up here, Damon? You were never this screwed up. You took someone's life!"

I tune him out. He's not going to believe his own brother. I wonder what story she told him. Elijah wouldn't help me verify my story. He even denies his involvement to me. I guess this is it.

I'm perfectly numb.

"Stefan, I'm not leaving. You clearly won't call the cops because for some reason you're protecting Katherine. So, I'm just going to stay. I know you don't believe me when I say I didn't do it, but at least believe me when I say I would never hurt Elena. She's the only person on the planet who actually sees good in me. I'm not leaving that."

I gracefully stroll up the stairs. Hopefully he realizes I'm not to be trifled with. I don't care if he thinks I did it. He's still got it bad for Katherine, clearly. I can't change his mind.

I do need to get to Elena before he does, though.

As I reach the top step, I realize she's in my room collecting some more of her things.

I gently knock before entering, and she asks me to wait. Then she beckons me forward.

Elena's dressed in a giant gray sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. She looks vibrant and free. It's different to see her let her hair down and relax.

"I'm packing my bags and getting out of here. I don't want to live here, Damon. It's so much unnecessary drama. I can't be around Stefan right now."

"I know, I know. I'll help you move your stuff back to your house but I really need to talk to you about something first. I need to tell you about Baltimore. I really don't want to because the more you know, the more you're in danger. But I have to tell you before Stefan tells you the wrong story."

"Damon, you don't have to tell me. First of all, if it's going to put me in danger, I don't want to know. Second of all, if you say you're innocent, I believe you, no matter what you did. That's trust."

"That's the problem. I'm not innocent. But the thing Stefan thinks I did, I didn't do. Katherine's feeding him lies and he's falling for it."

"Well then of course I don't believe it. I'll make sure to tell Stefan that,too. It's as simple as that, Damon. You're the first person who's been upfront and honest with me from the start. I don't think you'd change that now."

How can she be so understanding? I helped cover up a woman's murder. I don't think she understands that it's that serious. It's better not to tell her, though. She can't be dragged into a criminal investigation. Look what it did to Elijah.

"Thank you, Elena."

I don't want to be the good guy. Not right now. But I have to. I let out a long sigh, roll my eyes, and then defend my brother.

"Stefan's just making sure you're not gallivanting around with a murderer, you know. He's not trying to be controlling."

"He thinks you're a murderer? He has lost his mind! How are you not furious?"

"How are you not terrified?"

"Because I think I'd know if you were a murderer, Damon."

"Most serial killers are actually very charming."

"Now I'm scared," she chuckles.

"Just don't write him off. It's a tough time."

"Why are you defending him? It doesn't seem like you want to."

"I'm taking your advice. I'm gonna start attempting to do 'the right thing.'"

"That's commendable."

We stand in silence for a few minutes until it breaks.

"We'll talk about you moving in the morning. You've got to consider your options because of the Jeremy situation. But you can stay in here tonight if you'd like."

She tenses up and her eyes dart side to side.

"You do realize I'll be sleeping on the couch, right?"

"Of course, yeah. I just felt weird taking your room. Okay, then. That's fine."

I like that I make her nervous. Is that a trait common to serial killers? I hope not.

"I'll just change and then I'll be going."

I grab a shirt and sweat pants to change into.

"No peaking."

I slowly pull off my shirt, hoping that she'd peak. I'm a looker. That's something I've got going for me.

Her fingers slowly part and an eye shows through.

I tilt my head and shake it to acknowledge that I see her.

Her fingers quickly close as I pull my shirt down to my waist.

As I thought, we do have something going here.

"Goodnight, Elena."

She grins and blushes, "Goodnight, Damon."


	24. Rekindling

"I'm sorry that didn't go as planned. If it helps, I'm terrified. He's going to be furious at me for telling you."

"He's not going to hurt you, Katherine. I'm going to see to it that he leaves."

Even if it's not concern for me that's driving him, I can still feel it. The sparks are rekindling.

"Elena seemed pretty defiant. Trouble in paradise?"

"Not exactly. It's Damon. He's got her fooled."

I don't like this "Elena." She's got both of them eating out of the palm of her hand. And how can she be so defensive of Damon when she's got Stefan? Talk about greedy. I'll need to feign my best attempt at sympathy for their lovers' quarrels.

"I'm sorry you two are having problems."

"Spare me your fake sympathy."

Hmm, I guess I'm not as great of an actress as I supposed.

"It's not fake. I'm not going to sit here and tell you how much I want you two to work things out, but I don't like seeing you in pain, Stefan."

"Then do something about it. Get Damon to leave. He'll listen to you," he mutters.

He really must be desperate.

"After what I said last night? He probably won't say a word to me ever again."

"You don't fall out of love with someone over-night."

"Or over two years," I hint with a grin.

He sighs and takes a few steps back.

"Two years is a long time, Katherine. People change."

There's no honesty in Stefan's words. We didn't end things on a "permanent" note. Stefan broke it off in a fit of frustration. If my senses are correct, he still has those same feelings for me.

"Just because people change, that doesn't mean what they want changes. I want you, Stefan. That will never change. Do you realize you're the only person who ever truly got to know me? Damon lusted after me, sure, but you saw me as a person, inside and out. Why can't you do that again?"

"Because I don't trust you! If you want me to trust you again, then prove to me that it can be done. As for whatever else you want, I'm in love with Elena Gilbert. That isn't going to change. Ever."

Time for a dramatic exit. This sappy "Elena" talk has gotten me sick.

I don my fiercest scowl, stomp on his foot, and exit the room.

"Real mature, Katherine!" he yells after me.

* * *

"Hello, Damon."

He looks furious, like he's about to push me into the wall—not like before, though.

He's so distressed that he can't even find the words to express his anger.

"What did I do? Why are you doing this?"

"I'm sorry, Damon. You've been so deranged since the incident that it's all become hazy, huh? Stefan's not going to tell anyone and neither am I. He just needs you to leave for our safety."

"Cut the bullshit, Katherine. I know I'm not crazy. You're trying to ruin whatever fraternal bond that's left between Stefan and I. Break it. Ruin it again. I don't care, but I know I'm not a murderer. I would never kill someone over you."

"We'll help you get through this, Damon."

I walk over to him and carefully place a hand on his shoulder. I'm sure he'll only see this as me mocking him. He's not going to fall for the "your mind is playing tricks on you" façade.

We all remember that night _all too clearly_.

"Stefan's not leaving Elena. And what do I have to do with this? I'm not standing in your way this time."

"Stefan may not be leaving Elena but Elena may be close to leaving Stefan. Why don't we team up, Damon?"

All of these alliances are going to be the death of me. But why not form another? Damon wants Elena, I want Stefan. We can help each other.

"Team up to do what?!"

"End their relationship. I don't mean that in a violent or malicious way. It's plain to see that you want Elena. Well, I want Stefan. If you want this to end peacefully, we should make our moves quickly."

My partner won't like this idea, but the hell with it. Damon's time in Briarview is almost up.

"I don't feel like ruining anyone's lives this week. Sorry, Kat. I care too much about Elena to do that to her. That's what you do when you really care about someone. You do what's best for them."

"Was it best for you to be sleeping with your brother's girlfriend? Probably not. What's changed in you, Damon? You're not half as exciting as you used to be."

Damon says nothing. He's lost his edge and he knows it.

"Clearly not much since you're still lusting after Stefan's girlfriends…"

I walk up behind him and place my hand on his back in that familiar way.

"I've spent half of my life chasing you. I'm trying to rebuild and be a different person. If by some twist of fate Elena ended up leaving Stefan, I'd want her love for me to be _real_. No lies, no manipulation. So, no "teaming up" is going to happen. I'm done with you."

I slowly walk around to face him.

"Are you really? Done with me? What if I told you that I loved you?"

"It'd be a lie. Even if you did, that's not the kind of love I want. It might be the kind I deserve, but I'm still holding out hope that there's a better kind out there for me. I don't have to explain this to you. You can stand here and try to seduce me for days but you have no effect on me anymore."

Damon slightly pushes me out of the way and exits the room.

Well this isn't going as planned.

* * *

**Thanks for all the reviews and views! Sorry I've been slow about updating recently. School has been pretty hectic. This chapter wasn't my best but I was a bit stuck on the Katherine front since it's all building up to the Friday night dinner. The next chapter is one of my favorites because once again it goes into Elena's development. Hope you're enjoying the story!**

**xoxo Liz**


	25. Confrontations

It's 8 AM and I'm ready to start a new day. I welcome it.

Shit, Elena. Way to ignore the alarm. 10 minutes to get to class. Can I make it?

I fumble around my room, well, my former room. It still feels like it's mine, though. Damon hasn't really "moved in." I slip into a gray cami and quickly fidget with my necklace. After a bit of fiddling with the clasp, I've got it.

That's too bad, though. Putting on my necklace is quite the lackluster affair when Damon Salvatore isn't standing close behind to assist.

With only eight minutes left, I've got to move. As fast as I can, I search the armoire for a sweater. The perfect cherry red cardigan is hanging at the front. After hurriedly slipping on the sweater, I run out the door, down the stairs, to the front door.

"Forgetting something?" a seductive voice calls out.

As per usual, he startles me. I awkwardly turn to greet the focus of last night's dream.

"Good morning, Damon."

"Sleep well?"

"Not really. I overslept. So, I've really got to go."

"Are you still sleeping?"

"What? No?"

Damon is staring down at my legs. That's not exactly a friendly morning stare. I look down and finally understand what he's referring to.

"I probably shouldn't go to class in my pj shorts."

Smooth, Elena. I run back up the stairs and find a pair of jeans. Once more, I barrel down the stairs and to the front door.

_4 minutes left_. I'll never make it.

"Looks like there's no class for me today, "I say with a shrug as I drop my bag on the stairs.

Damon sighs.

"I'm not a big fan of the carpool lane, but I'll make an exception this one time. Let's go."

"You don't have to drive me to class. It's not that big of a deal. Stefan will give Alaric an excuse for me."

"Stefan is still asleep upstairs. You need to be there to give the excuses, so I suggest we move."

Damon and I run out to the car. Well, I run. He does his ever so carless stroll.

We zoom down all the familiar city streets. Briarview is quite captivating when you're going 70 miles an hour.

With one minute left, Damon pulls into the circular entranceway. I can afford to be this late.

I step out and shut the door of the camaro cautiously.

"Thank you. I owe you one."

"Don't mention it. Maybe you can defend me when Stefan puts me on trial for terrorism or treason."

"Will do."

A small chuckle escapes my lips as I walk backwards towards the entrance. As I go to grab the door handle, a man comes rushing towards the door and flings it open.

"Matt!"

"Rick's gonna fail me if I'm late again!"

Matt Donovan: as punctual as ever. I'm glad we're still friends. Matt and I dated freshman and sophomore year of high school. I broke it off due to the ever present ennui. I know deep down he hates me for it. We were better as friends, though. There was no spark. All I've ever wanted is_ passion_.

I grab Matt's shoulder and stop him in his tracks.

"It'll be fine. Rick's all talk. How've you been? I haven't seen much of you lately."

We walk and talk on our way to the classroom. I try to avoid dealing with why I haven't seen him lately. Matt cannot stand Stefan. He pretends to like him, but his distaste for a Salvatore is obvious.

"I've been good. Jer and I have been hanging out a lot lately. I heard you're coming home for dinner on Friday. I'm invited so get ready for an interesting evening."

"This should be awkward. I'm assuming Bonnie's going to be there. So, everyone but Stefan is invited…"

"I'd say that's unfair but it's not," he rebuffs.

"You do realize you and Jeremy are the only two people who don't want him there, right?"

Isn't that the biggest lie of the century. Truth be told, I don't want him there either. He's ruining my journey. I'm trying to put my life back together and Stefan keeps pulling me back into that melancholy slumber. I want to find the old Elena.

"I'm sorry, Lena. I don't mean to be an ass to Stefan."

I look down. What else can I say?

"I hear his brother's gonna be there. Damon, right?"

"I hadn't heard that. Who told you Damon was coming?"

"Jeremy said he invited him."

"I had no idea. That's strange."

"Not exactly. Why not welcome the guy home? He doesn't exactly have the friendliest welcoming-committee at the Salvatore house."

"So you've heard about the brotherly warfare."

"Just a _bit_."

Why is Matt so open to Damon coming to dinner? Matt is one of those Briarview citizens who values tradition and the village family. He's never this eager to have someone new come into our lives. And a Salvatore? He despises Stefan.

My thoughts are interrupted as Matt slowly turns the door knob, leading us into Alaric's classroom. This class might as well be a breakout session with the small space it was given.

We attempt to sneak in, but, alas, we have never been good at sneaking around.

"So nice of you to join us. Matt, Elena, feel free to take a seat and stick around."

I give him a friendly salute. It's only 3 minutes past 8:30. We aren't late enough where I need to be worried.

I take my seat next to Matt. Nostalgically, I turn around to see the empty seat behind me. Stefan and I always walked to class together. Even though he has a car, he never missed a Monday morning walk. Your perfection is fading, Mr. Salvatore.

"The Civil War: brother against brother, friend against friend. A country torn apart."

The Civil War? Again? Did we stop purchasing textbooks in 1863?

It is curious, though. You'd think we were living in the middle of the civil war with that description.

A question regarding civil war relations comes to mind. As I begin to slightly raise my arm, the creaking door disturbs the class.

"My apologies, I had some trouble finding the class. Katherine Pierce. I'm a transfer."

"Yes, I've heard all about you Ms. Pierce. Please try to be on time."

Alaric looks back at me with his formal, adult version of a "wtf" glance.

I respond with an exhausted shoulder shrug and eye roll. Just what I needed today: Katherine.

Shortly after she steps into the room, in walks Stefan. Even in the middle of a crisis, he looks radiant with his hair tousled and his muscular arms draped in a gray v-neck. It's strange that I'm fawning over something that's already mine. Maybe I feel like I've lost him.

I can't think about this right now. Stefan takes his seat behind me without saying a word. Alaric shakes his head at Stefan. He's done lecturing half of Briarview for being late, I suppose.

As Rick continues, I slyly turn around.

"Didn't set an alarm?"

"Lay off."

Whoa, clearly he didn't sleep well either.

"Hey, I was just making sure you're alright. You're never late to class."

"And you never walk out of class, right? There's a first for everything, Elena."

I try my best to keep my voice down.

"Stefan, what's wrong? If I recall, I'm the one who had to deal with your ex girlfriend being in our house all night."

"Katherine wasn't a problem in the slightest. You keep defending my brother and now he'll never leave."

I roll my eyes dramatically. We're arguing about _Damon_?

"Your brother isn't a murderer."

"I'm not going to sit here and argue with you about this. You don't know him."

"And clearly neither do you if you think he's capable of that!"

A voice from across the room whispers a sharp "psst."

"Some of us are trying to listen, Elena."

She wasn't even trying to be silent. The class giggles like an assembly of ten year olds.

"One more of those and I'll be leaving class again. Silence your mistress if you can."

"That's mature, Elena."

I turn back around. He really isn't going to say anything to her? All his Grecian god-like qualities suddenly shatter to pieces.

Alaric prattles on about small battles that took place in Georgia. I'm not interested. Hopefully this class will go by fast.

I watch the clock and gaze out the window. The sun isn't shining. It's another gloomy day in this one-horse town. The dark gray clouds seem to be circling the college. What a miserable place I'm stuck in. I do need to stop wallowing, though. Remember, Elena. Appreciate each moment. Welcome the day.

Alaric dismisses the class and we all file out of the room.

I angrily walk towards the exit until Stefan grabs my arm. He has no right to attempt to speak with me right now. Irritated, I pull my arm away forcefully.

"I don't feel like talking to you right now, Stefan."

"Well we're going to talk. If my brother's not going to leave, then you'll have to."

My jaw drops. _Stefan is kicking me out_? Who is this man and where has Prince Charming gone?

My eyes are about to explode with tears. As if I'm not already under enough stress, now I'm homeless. I know I packed up my things and acted like I was going to leave last night, but I also know that I can't. I can't go home to Jeremy yet. Where am I supposed to go?

"Stefan, don't do this. Not today."

"You're not safe in _my home._ If Damon and Katherine are there, it's not the right place for you to be right now."

I place my hands on my head and try to think. What am I supposed to do now? Suddenly it's _his_ home: a home he has the right to throw me out of.

Matt can see that I'm about to have a breakdown, so he walks over like any overprotective ex-boyfriend would.

"Is everything alright over here?" he asks.

"Everything's fine," Stefan mutters.

"It doesn't really look fine. Elena, are you alright?"

I'd like to hide our problems like I always do. It's really no one's business, but I'm upset. I'm letting it all out because I can. Not everything has to be in perfect manner all the time.

"Stefan's kicking me out. I'm homeless, Matt."

"Stop being so dramatic, Elena. This is for your safety!"

"What the hell, Stefan? You're just putting her out on the street?"

"It's nothing like that! She has a house, you know. She can stay with Jeremy and Rick."

"No, I can't! I just talked to Jeremy and we decided it's too soon for that. We need to work our way back to how things were."

Stefan chuckles.

"That's ridiculous. You're family. You can live there. He wouldn't shut you out."

"You just don't get it. I actually _care_ about my brother. I want us to have the best shot at fixing our relationship."

Matt interrupts before Stefan can respond.

"You can stay with me. I knew you were trouble from the start, Salvatore. Your whole family has _always_ been nothing but that."

Stefan steps up close to Matt's face and becomes more aggressive than usual.

"Do you really want to talk about my family? Don't start something you can't finish, Donovan," Stefan says with a brief shove to Matt's chest.

Before Matt can retaliate, I chime in.

"Don't, Matt. Don't bother when he's like this. I'll stay with you. That's fine. Let's just go."

I shake my head at Stefan. Who is he? That certainly isn't my safe haven. That's not the man I love.

As we exit, I yell back "I'll have Damon bring over my things."

That was a low blow, Elena. Even for you.

* * *

Matt and I head to Pete's Diner for an early lunch. I'm so glad we've retained our friendship. Why are all of my old relationships so normal, yet every relationship I've formed since my parents' death has been so dysfunctional?

We walk inside the diner and take seats near the window. Naturally, I order the biggest stack of pancakes on the menu. I missed breakfast this morning, so I refuse to deprive myself of pancakes. Matt orders the turkey club: plain and simple. It's fitting.

"Aren't you at all curious?" I ask.

"About what?"

"What we're fighting about."

"Not exactly. He was being a dick, Elena. It doesn't matter what started the fight."

"His ex girlfriend is making him this way. I can't believe I was afraid Damon would be the one to mess with him."

"I wouldn't be so quick to believe he's not. Damon's bad news from what I've heard."

I cock my head. What a premature judgment.

"You seemed pretty excited to have him over for dinner, though."

"I've got to size him up."

Matt's just looking out for all of us, I suppose. I wonder what people have told him about Damon, though.

"What have you heard?"I ask casually.

"Bits and pieces," Matt replies as he looks to the side.

Clearly he's not willing to discuss what he knows. He seemed eager to welcome Damon home an hour ago. Strange. Damon will change his mind on Friday, though.

To be honest, he probably won't. Damon isn't as personable with others as he is with me. It must be the trust issue. Or maybe he just has a strong distaste for people.

"He's upset with me for defending his brother. He wants him to leave and I don't."

"I see."

This is awkward. Matt says nothing else for a few minutes. We wait for our food in silence until he decides to speak up.

"Don't you ever wonder what your life would be like if you hadn't gotten mixed up with the Salvatores?"

What a rude question. It's true, though. I have wondered that.

"Yes. I'd either be a huge screw-up or totally fine. Stefan helped me through everything, but who knows. You and everyone else could've done the same if I would've given you guys the chance."

"The first step is admitting the problem. Congrats."

"Damon's different, though. He's brought out a different side of me. It's a side I like, I think."

"Don't, Elena. Don't go there. Once you move out, just be done. You don't need them. It's only going to cause more trouble for you."

"Don't sound so sure. You haven't met Damon yet. And don't write off my relationship with Stefan."

I chuckle to myself. I wish I could write it off that easily. There's no way to make a clean break in this one.

We eat our lunches and laugh about old inside jokes. I wish Matt didn't love me. It'd make me feel a lot less guilty, and it'd make him a whole lot happier.

As I finish my last pancake, my dear friend Caroline walks through the door, making an entrance as always.

"ELENA GILBERT!" She yells.

"You need to step outside more often," she finishes.

"I text you every day, Caroline."

Caroline sighs and takes a seat next to Matt. He turns to her with his judgmental eyes.

"I haven't seen you since _the other night at the pub_."

"Ah, that was a good night if I recall correctly. Elena! Have you met Stefan's delicious brother?"

A sinister shiver shakes my bones. I know that proverbial Caroline tone. _Caroline is on the hunt for Damon_.

"Yes, I have," I pronounce curtly.

"Well, we met, talked, had drinks, yada yada. I had one of the most fantastic nights I've had in a long time."

What is she referring to? They went on a date?

Matt mouths to me, "trouble."

"Elena? Are you listening? I'm trying to tell you about my latest conquest."

"I'm listening, Caroline."

"Well, at first it was really awkward because Rick was there. Then he asked him to leave and he drove me back to my house. Thank God mom was on duty. He even slept over after. It was incredible!"

I think I'm about to vomit. Damon slept with Caroline. Actually SLEPT with Caroline. I will not let my life become a bad soap opera, damnit.

"That's classy, Car."

"Don't judge, Elena. You would've done the same if you weren't with Stefan. He's gorgeous. Admit it."

"He really is something," I snarl.

Damon has treated me like I'm the only friend he's got in the whole town. Now he's sleeping with all my childhood pals.

I'm not sure where we stand.

* * *

The days pass quickly. Matt goes to the Salvatore's to collect some of my things. I'm not ready to fully move out yet, I suppose.

Living with Matt isn't as easy as I had hoped it would be. I see the way he looks at me. Why can't he realize that things wouldn't have worked? It's so much easier not being around him.

We hardly see each other, though. Our class schedules are complete opposites. I don't have Tuesday classes, so I wander around the park and reflect. Life is considerably more peaceful without the Salvatores.

Friday approaches and I still haven't spoken to Damon or Stefan. Both of them have left me disappointed. I wonder if Damon will have the audacity to show up to dinner now that Caroline will be there. Just seeing the two of them in the same room together will make me nauseous.

Eventually, Friday comes along. I sit through my last class of the week. My calculus class is full of locals, but not those in my immediate circle. I like it better this way. There's no drama or angst permeating the atmosphere. Unfortunately, I walk onto the quad and there sits Stefan. I can't walk by without him seeing me. Surprisingly, he runs up to me wearing his normal look of gentility.

"Hey."

Just a simple 'hey?' Two years of devotion and that's really all I get?

"Hi."

"I'd stand here and tell you how sorry I am but my apologies probably mean nothing to you."

I nod and let him continue.

"I didn't know how else to get you away from him. But I should've let you make your own decisions. I'd like you to move back in. Actually, I'm _begging_ you to move back in. I can't be in that house without you."

Have some dignity, Stefan. Stick to your position. I'd respect you a lot more if you did.

"I'm not ready for that just yet. Living with Matt isn't ideal but at least he lets me live my life as I choose."

"If you're not moving back in, where does that leave us? What are we doing here?"

I glance down. What really are we doing here? Am I ready to let him go? Flirting with the idea of independence is easy, but actually having to live without him is something I'm not sure I could handle right now.

"I don't know, Stefan. Get your shit together and then we'll talk," I say harshly.

He's startled by my statement. I'm not going to fall into his arms like some fawning teenager. That's not who I am anymore.

"What exactly do you need me to do?"

"Get rid of Katherine and learn to trust your brother. I can't live in the middle of a warzone."

"Elena, I can't trust Damon."

"Why do you trust Katherine?"

"Because. I've known her since we were practically children. I know her well enough to be able to tell when she's lying. Believe it or not, I probably know her better than I know Damon since she actually stuck around."

Don't say these things, Stefan. I can't doubt Damon after we've come this far.

"I want to believe him too, Elena. It's just not that simple."

I look up at the clock in the center of the quad. It's nearing 4 and I still need to pick up some things for the dinner.

"I've got a family dinner to attend so I should really get going."

Stefan is visibly upset. I don't want to hurt him. I don't think he wants to hurt me either.

"We'll talk soon."

I slowly walk off without turning around. I can't bear to look at him. Though I'm the one who was kicked out of my home, the woman he loves has cast him out of her life.

I thought he deserved it, but maybe we need to talk again. I need to make him see things from my point of view.

After stopping at the grocer to pick up Jeremy's favorite flavored pie, I walk towards my old home. The familiar path gets me nostalgic. I remember running down this street with Matt and Caroline when we were kids. I used to play hopscotch in the driveway of that blue home. Right next to my neighbor's mailbox is where I fell off my first bike and cut my knee—the scar remains to this day.

This path is like a scar itself. It reminds me of everything I'll never have back again: my childhood, my innocence, my parents.

These thoughts are not the way to begin my evening. This is a night of family and celebration. I want to reunite with everyone who's helped make me the person I'm supposed to be. I will not mourn.

I walk up the creaking steps and go to knock on the door as a blue camaro pulls into the driveway.

Fantastic.

Instead of knocking on the door, I walk back down the steps towards Damon's car.

"I see someone's done avoiding me," Damon calls out.

"I wasn't avoiding you."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a horrible liar?"

He's not even worth the time. I'll confront him later, or maybe I won't.

I roll my eyes and walk back up the steps. Of course he knows something's up. This bratty, childish demeanor is nothing like me. Jeremy opens the door and suddenly my spirits are lifted.

I hug my brother as tightly as possible. I don't want to overdo it, but I'm so glad to be home. I look towards my welcoming living room and see the fire is already burning. I'm home. Damon enters shortly after me. I really wish he wasn't here. I'm not sure how long I can hold off on turning this night into said soap opera.

Rick runs over and welcomes me. You'd think I'd been overseas for ten years with these overly convivial greetings.

"Ah, I see your new buddy is here," Rick says as he points to Damon.

"Actually, that's Caroline's new buddy. I'm _buddiless_ these days."

"Someone's surly. I'm not one to gossip about my students but I take it you found out about their night on the town."

I don't respond. Rick knows me well enough to realize when I'm upset. He eyes me suspiciously. I'm not jealous, Rick. Don't even insinuate it. I leave Rick by the staircase and slowly traverse these familiar steps. I don't stop until I reach my room. Is it still mine, though? They wouldn't have changed it, would they?

I stare at the white wooden entry for a bit. Should I really open the door to who I used to be? I might as well, now that I'm so hell bent on finding myself.

The room is exactly how I left it, horse painting and all. Pictures from high school litter the walls with memories. There are photos of Stefan and me at football games: cheerleader and matching football star. Adorable, yet so cliché. Nostalgically, I plop down on my bed. It's so much more comfortable than Matt's mother's old mattress. I gape at the ceiling for at least ten minutes until a knock sounds at the door.

I sit up as quickly as I can before the door fully opens. Damon Salvatore stands in the doorframe. He resembles a framed painting. There really must've been something in the water at the time Damon and Stefan were conceived.

"Am I really that boring that you're already asleep?"

"I'm not sleeping. I'm just checking up on my room," I snub.

"Well, the good news is that it didn't grow legs and walk away."

"I wanted to make sure they didn't change it around or anything. I like it the way it is."

Damon nods and enters. He stares at the walls for quite some time, seemingly trying to get a feel of the girl who lived in this room. She isn't me.

"Cute pictures."

I sense his sarcasm. He shouldn't judge my life like that, though. It wasn't all bad. High school was somewhat enjoyable. I had some great times with my friends.

Damon casually takes a seat beside me on my bed. Since when is it okay for him to walk into my room and sit on my bed? Clearly being in a young girl's bed doesn't mean much to him, though. I move over quickly.

"Why are you upset with me?"

"I'm not."

"Elena, I've been around long enough to know when people aren't exactly pleased to have me around. What changed between that day at the cemetery and today?"

Footsteps are heard coming up the stairs and the door swings open.

"Elena, we're starting dinner. You can't hide yourself in your room forever… Damon?"

I turn to Damon with a gratified smirk. This, Damon Salvatore, is exactly what changed between Sunday and today.

"Caroline, how've you been?" He questions awkwardly.

"Me? I've been perfectly fine. Have you been hospitalized or in a coma for the past week?"

Way to be sensitive to the girl whose aunt is in a coma, Car. I really appreciate your sympathy.

Damon understands the insensitivity in the remark as well but says nothing about it.

"No, Caroline. I have not."

Caroline nods her head. She's visibly irritated but obviously still interested in Damon, so she doesn't attack him for not calling her. Why does she let guys treat her like this?

"Come down soon," Caroline says as she walks out.

"That's really classy, Damon. Sleep with her and then act like it never happened."

"It shouldn't have happened. I don't want to take this any further than it's already gone."

"Whatever, you don't have to explain yourself to me."

"Is _that_ what you're upset about?"

I don't have to answer that. Confidently, I stand up and saunter towards the door.

"Elena Gilbert, _are you jealous_?"

"Jealous? I think that's disgusting, Damon. I thought you were better than sleeping around with random girls in town. Why didn't you tell me about it? Caroline's one of my best friends."

"Sorry, Elena. I didn't realize I'm supposed to sit around and wait for you and my brother to finally call it quits. News flash, that's never going to happen. You don't get to dictate who I spend my time with."

"You know what? Go sleep with any of the girls in town. By all means, take your pick. I'm not going to stop you. I just thought you were different."

"You thought I was the hopeless romantic like Stefan. What, do you think I go home and write in my journal about how 'your eyes sparkle like stars on a cloudless night'? Don't kid yourself, Elena. That's not how relationships work in the real world."

Why is he being so cruel? Clearly he enjoys the fact that his tryst with Caroline has hurt my feelings. It shouldn't, though. He's not my boyfriend. He's hardly my friend at this moment. Maybe I'm being overdramatic. Should I really change my whole opinion of the guy over a one-night-stand? That certainly doesn't mean he killed anyone, right?

I walk out the door and towards the stairs. Damon's footsteps follow.

As we both begin our descent, I see everyone's eyes peer over. This must look strange to them. To prevent any misconceptions, I turn to Damon.

"You shouldn't have been invited here in the first place."

The eyes of my family and friends suddenly shift back to their conversations. This is what they expect from me. I can't have them thinking that I'm messing around with Stefan's brother because I'm _not_.

Walking towards the kitchen, Damon marches up right beside me.

"Would it really be so awful if people thought we were friends?"

"That's not what they were thinking, Damon. And we're not friends."

"Really? So our whole talk on Sunday was all bullshit?"

"No. I meant it at the time, but how do you expect me to be friends with you when you haven't been honest with me?"

"I didn't lie to you, Elena! I wasn't aware that I had to list all the girls I've ever slept with."

"That's not the point! Caroline is one of my best friends and you're playing her. How am I supposed to react?"

"I didn't know you yet. I had no reason to have any respect for this town or its people."

"You should respect everyone here _because_ they're people, Damon. "

"I know you've never left Briarview, but in most cities sleeping with someone casually isn't a crime. Respect doesn't really matter when you're drunk. And why am I getting blamed for everything? It takes two to tango."

I avert my eyes. It is Caroline's fault as well. He didn't know me yet. That's true. But is that why I'm really upset? I'm jealous? That can't be my reasoning.

Damon steps closer to me and whispers, "You're adorable when you're jealous."

"I'm _not _jealous. "

He follows the others into the dining room.

"Damon! I'm _not_!"

He's tuned me out. Whatever, I just won't acknowledge him for the rest of the night. Elena Gilbert, you are not jealous.

* * *

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'd like some feedback on the length of this chapter. I thought I'd try writing longer chapters, and this is the longest I've written so far. What do you think? Also, would anyone be opposed to be possibly only telling Katherine's point of view sporadically? Four POV's drags the plot out a bit too much at times. Again, thanks for reading!**

**xoxo Liz**


	26. Intrusions

I sit on the couch flipping through newspapers. I'm trying to kill some time. Tonight will not be spent worrying about the events taking place at the Gilbert house. Yet here I am, thinking about not thinking about the party. Katherine can tell that I'm nervous without me saying a word.

"We could always stop by. I'm sure they wouldn't mind a couple more guests."

"If you don't mind, I don't want to crash their party. I also don't want them to associate me with you. Then they'll dislike me even more."

"Why are you trying to hurt my feelings? I'm just trying to help."

Maybe I'm being a little rough on her. I just don't know who to trust right now.

"I'm sorry. I wonder why they invited Damon…"

"That Matt boy has been asking about him a lot. I ran into him the other day and he inquired about Damon."

"That's odd. I could drop by with dessert….I'm sure they wouldn't say no to a Young's Bakery cake."

"What are you more worried about: Damon hurting Elena or Damon bonding with Elena?"

What troubles me is that I don't even know the answer to this. Jeremy is already welcoming him. I can't even get him to do that for me after two years. Jeremy probably doesn't even like Damon. He's just trying to upset me.

"It doesn't matter. I'll stop by for a few minutes just to see how things are going and to remind them all that I still exist."

"Whoa, hold on there. You're not leaving me here. I've been stuck in this house all week. There's no way I'd miss a party."

"You weren't invited, Katherine."

"Neither were you, Stefan."

Touché. She'll find her way in if I don't take her, so I might as well bite the bullet.

We leisurely drive to Elena's home. I'm trying to get there as late as possible so it really looks like I just 'stopped by.'

Katherine stands behind me as I knock on the door. Maybe she'll be a fantastic reminder of Damon's tragic past. This'll help people see through his façade.

Alaric opens the door and is surprised to see me standing before him.

"Stefan, I wasn't expecting to see you tonight. But by all means, come in!"

As the door swings open, I see everyone seated at the dining room table. It seems as though they were sharing laughs and old stories until I rudely interrupted. Elena is noticeably distressed by my appearance. I don a shy smile, hoping she'll see my intentions are sincere.

Damon turns around from the other side of the table and shakes his head at me. No, Damon. I _couldn't _stay away.

Alaric sets a place for me next to Elena. This is going to be uncomfortable. Clearly he doesn't know about our squabble.

But wait, where's Katherine? She didn't come inside and I don't think Alaric saw her. Did she go back to the car? I pull my phone from my pocket and send a quick text.

**Where'd you go?**

A second or two later, she responds.

**I figured your appearance would be less threatening if I wasn't here. Good luck xoxo**

She really is sincere about helping me. I never thought I'd see this side of Katherine Pierce again.

**Appreciate it. Thanks.**

I turn to Elena and try to make small talk.

"I didn't think you'd still be eating. I just wanted to drop off a cake to be polite."

"I know," she says.

Elena's not looking at me, though. She's distracted by something. Across the table, I see Damon with his arm around Caroline. The two are giggling about something unknown to the rest of the guests. Elena's clearly agitated by it.

"I never saw that coming."

"Join the club. They've been like this for about an hour now."

I turn to Matt to see his reaction. He's been asking about Damon a lot lately according to Katherine. To no surprise, Matt is agitated by their flirting as well. What does Matt have against Damon?

Bonnie cuts the cake and serves each of us a piece. Everyone enjoys it, so they forget about my interruption.

Damon and Caroline share a piece. Damon's putting on a show. I wonder if he's doing it to upset Elena or me. Or both of us.

Matt interrupts the awkward silence by questioning Damon.

"So, Damon. What have you been up to since you left Briarview?"

He's clearly irritated by Matt interrupting his show, yet he answers nonchalantly.

"Traveling, working here and there, nothing too exciting."

"Where'd you travel?"

Matt's grilling him now.

"Up and down the east coast. My travels aren't interesting enough for dinner conversation."

"Ever been to Baltimore?"

The room goes silent. Damon is unshaken, but Elena and I freeze like deer in headlights.

"I've stopped there once or twice. Is there a point to this interrogation?"

"No point at all. I was just curious."

We try to casually continue our conversations, but Elena and I cannot move past Matt's Baltimore question.

"Will you all excuse me for a minute?" I ask as I leave the table. Elena quickly follows.

"Did you tell Matt?"

"Of course not! He'd be the first to call the police."

"How'd he find out, then? "

"I don't know, Stefan. Matt's not resourceful enough to unearth an unsolved murder."

You know what? This is Damon's problem, not ours. Elena and I need to focus on our own issues.

"Elena, I'm really sorry. I haven't been fair to you."

She nods but stays silent.

"I love you and I don't want to lose you, but if you're unhappy and think I've ruined your life, then I won't stand in your way anymore."

Elena sighs and sincerity finally returns to her visage.

"Stefan, I don't think you've ruined my life. Damon was being dramatic. I'm where I am in my life because of my own foolish decisions. I'm not ready to give up on us. We've worked too hard to throw it all away over Katherine and Damon's drama."

I cautiously step forward and hug her. When I feel her reciprocate, I hold her tighter. I've missed this. We can always talk things through.

"I want you to come home."

Elena nods and embraces me even tighter than I knew was possible. She _has_ missed me.

We rejoin the others at the dinner table. It's still awkwardly silent besides the secretive flirting between Damon and Caroline. None of it matters anymore, though. Having Elena beside me is all I could've asked for.

I carefully set my hands down on the table, and, surprisingly, Elena places her left on top of my right. She looks up at me and smiles the way she used to. Instead of embracing the moment, I quickly turn to Damon.

Just as I suspected, he's watching intently. He cocks his head slightly, trying to discern the current state of affairs.

I wonder if Elena did this simply to arouse Damon's attention. That's nothing like the Elena I fell in love with, but she is changing…

No, Elena would never use my feelings that way. I'm content. Why can't I just stay content for five minutes? Over-analyzing has always been my strong suit.

After an hour of watching Damon and Caroline down a few too many drinks, the party starts to clear out. Damon stumbles out of his seat and attempts to bid the guests farewell. Being the sappy brother that I am, I don't let him leave.

"You're not driving, Damon. Go sit down on the couch. We'll leave in ten."

"Whatever you say, _hair gel. _Give Eleanor my best!"

It's safe to say he's pretty far gone.

Being the gentleman that I am, and partially in hope of pleasing Jeremy, I help Rick and Elena with the dishes. Our bonding is suddenly interrupted by shouts and thumps. I hear Caroline yell, so naturally my hero complex kicks in. I rush to the living room only to find Damon and Matt in a violent wrangle.

Damon punches straight under Matt's jaw, knocking him to the floor: the last of a myriad of punches.

"Damon, stop!" I hear Elena yell from behind me.

She stands there, beholding the scene with her right hand placed carefully over her lips.

Naturally, I rush to the center of the action and attempt to separate them. Jeremy tries to hold Damon back, but my ruthless brother shoves Jeremy into the wall, knocking him to the ground.

I can't hold both of them for long. Where the hell is Rick?

Eventually, he comes running into the room and manages to pull Matt aside. I grab hold of Damon from behind.

"We're not finished, Donovan! Not even close!"

Everyone stands in the living room, horrified at what they've just seen.

Though I probably shouldn't, I attempt to make an excuse for Damon's actions.

"He's had a lot to drink…"

"Get him out. Do it now, Stefan. Or I will," Rick says, visibly shaken by what's happened.

I nod and walk Damon to my car. Before I can reprimand him, he speaks out.

"I wasn't gonna kill him Steve!" Damon slurs.

Is it even worth talking about when he's not sober? Before I can finish this thought, Elena marches out of the house, down the steps, and up to my car.

"Katherine was right about you," she mutters, almost in tears.

There's blood on her hands. Though I see this literally, Elena feels that the events that took place tonight are her fault. She didn't send him away. Yet, I didn't either.

I place my hand on her shoulder and walk her near the garage door to quickly talk.

"Is he alright?"

"He'll be fine but he's bleeding, Stefan. Because I foolishly believed in Damon, Matt's hurt."

"It's not your fault. Damon's my problem."

"But what if he would've done more? What if you didn't stop him? No one's safe."

"So you think he did it?"

"Yes. What's the common factor in both of these outbursts? Alcohol. Was your father a violent drunk?"

I glare at her angrily. I didn't mean to react this way, but my father isn't just a sore subject for Damon. I don't enjoy conversing about him either.

"Somewhat," I curtly reply.

"Did Damon act like this when he was younger too?"

There's no use in lying. This is what Damon does. I never thought he could kill someone, but maybe he did. It's possible if he's upset enough.

"Elena, let's not psychoanalyze my family in your driveway. We'll talk at home."

She nods, kisses my cheek, and returns inside. A familiar rustle is heard near the shrubs.

Cautiously, I approach the bushes and an arm pulls me in.

"What the hell happened?" Katherine shouts.

"Damon _snapped_."

Her reaction is one of shock. Why is she so surprised? She predicted it.

"He hurt someone?" She nervously asks.

"Matt. He'll be okay, though."

"Well, thank God. Out of curiosity, what'd Matt say to set him off?"

"I'm not sure. I wasn't in the room. Earlier he mentioned Baltimore, though."

Katherine's look of surprise turns to a grimace.

"I'm not sure how much he knows. I've got to finish up here. Can you drive Damon home? We'll talk later."

"I suppose," she says and walks towards the car.

She gracefully turns and holds up her hand to remind me. I throw the keys and Katherine takes off.

Elena walks outside as the car speeds down the street.

"Who..?"

"Katherine was waiting in the car during dinner."

"I'd normally be upset but she did warn us about Damon so she can have a pass I guess."

Elena is accepting Katherine? This night has taken a strange turn. As she walks back up the steps, I wrap my arm around her.

We step over the threshold and are greeted by the smiling faces of our friends. They're happy we're together I suppose. I wonder if they even know that we were having troubles.

I'd love to stay wrapped up in Elena for hours, but I should probably see how Matt is doing. I walk up the stairs to Jeremy's room and see Matt lying on the bed with a pack of ice against his jaw.

"How're ya?"

"Fine."

"Clearly you don't want to talk to me."

"Cut to the chase, Stefan," he mumbles.

"Why'd he hit you?"

"I asked him about Baltimore again."

"Why's that?"

"That's not any of your damn business," he says with a moan to follow.

"One day he's going to get what he's got comin'. That's for sure," Matt yells as I retreat.

What is that supposed to mean? Is Matt threatening Damon?

These are Damon's problems. I can't waste my time worrying about them.


	27. Ashes

I'm lying on the hardwood floor covered in water.

"You are not going to lie there, passed out on the floor. That's pathetic, Damon."

"Am I in hell?" I mutter as I recognize Katherine's voice.

"Ha ha. Do you even remember what happened tonight?"

"I remember being nauseatingly flirty with Caroline Forbes."

"Do you remember beating Matt Donovan to a pulp?"

Yikes, it seems I've repressed that. Looks like I can forget winning over the locals. But what about Elena? Did she see the monster inside of me?

"Did…agh, my head. Did…" I try to speak as I stand, but everything is spinning and hazy.

"You're worried about _Elen_a's reaction, aren't you?"

"Come on, Kat… help me up."

She offers me a limp hand. Eventually, I'm able to stand. She helps me make my way over to the couch and we sit.

"Did Elena see?"

Katherine chuckles and dons a proud grin.

"Every bit of it."

Damnit. She was the only one who believed in me and I blew it. Why am I so surprised? My life has been a long string of fuck-ups.

Everything slowly comes back to me. I remember the fight. I remember what started it, too. But most importantly, I remember what I saw before it.

"Who were you talking to in the basement, Katherine?"

I was already drunk. Things were blurry and I could barely discern the voices.

"You're confused," she suggests.

"No. I couldn't hear the voices well, but I saw you go down there."

She refuses to answer. Katherine stays perfectly still on the couch with her legs crossed. She looks over at me and once again twists the knife.

"Elena was horrified. She'll probably never want to see you again."

This hurts like nothing has before. I can see it: her face, twisting in pain. She looked at me like the monster that I most likely am. It's funny. Just the other day at the cemetery she looked at me with bright and hopeful eyes. That's all gone to hell.

"You've won, Kat. Congrats."

"I didn't want to win, Damon. And it's not a victory if I don't have Stefan," she says angrily.

We sit in silence for about an hour. I stare at the clock and wonder how many minutes are left in my life. I can only bare about four.

"I'm sorry," Katherine mutters.

"What's that?"

"I'm sorry, Damon."

"It's kind of chilly in here."

"What?"

"Well, hell just froze over and all."

"Damon, I'm trying to be serious!"

"Excuse me! What are you sorry for, Princess Katherine?"

She rolls her eyes and continues.

"I see what it's like to be utterly alone. And it sucks, so I'm sorry for leading you on and ruining everything with Stefan. Don't ask 'what's that' because I'll never repeat those words."

I nod my head. Sincerity rarely escapes Katherine's lips. I'll take it.

"If this was a month ago that would've sounded like heaven. _You're late_."

"Don't act like you've given up all hope."

"I have. The second I met Elena I forgot you existed. How does that feel?"

Her face twists until she forms a contorted grin. Try and hide it, Kat, but that one stung.

"And now she hates you. How does _that_ feel?" She mocks.

I loathe her more than ever, but how am I any different? We play the same old games.

I stand and look down at her with fierce contempt. She rises to meet my gaze.

"What are you going to do, Damon? Kill me?"

Her sarcasm and the heat of the fire spark a familiar sentiment inside of me: lust. What the hell do I have to lose? Her cherry red lips are inches from mine. Elena will never come near me again. What are dignity and morals to a man who has no reason to live? Just like all the times before, I give in.

My lips crash onto hers. She wraps her delicate arms around my neck in the most forceful way. I can't do this. But I have to. I spent the last two years of my life protecting her. I've wasted countless years chasing her. What's 15 more minutes?

We back up to the wall nearest the fire place. Her lips travel down my chest as she unbuttons my already half-undone shirt. It feels good, but it's not the same. This encounter is full of bitter contempt. But hey, hate sex is good sex.

I return the favor, placing fanatical kisses down from her neck to her shoulders. An engine starts. No, not in that way. I hear a car pull into the driveway. Stefan really has a way of ruining these moments, doesn't he?

I don't care. My brother means nothing to me. Maybe this'll show him Katherine hasn't changed a bit. That well-known hatred returns. I want to hurt him again.

My thoughts return to the passionate encounter with Katherine. I reciprocate her advances and pull her blouse over her shoulders. The door knob twists and Stefan walks in: dropped jaw and all.

And, Damon, there is the ever present irony in your life: Elena follows.

"Oh God, really Damon?" Stefan mutters.

Elena is undoubtedly disgusted by what she sees.

Katherine backs away with a childish grin. She seductively wipes her mouth and walks towards the intruders.

"Clearly neither of you understands the concept of knocking."

The awkward silence continues. I look at my feet and grab Katherine's shirt. Embarrassed, I throw the shirt to Kat. She shrugs, pulls it on, and retreats into the kitchen.

Elena is repulsed by what she's just seen. Stefan, on the other hand, is quite pleased that Elena witnessed all the events of this evening.

"Well I bet you're satisfied, Stefan. You've made sure your girl hates me. Congratulations."

"Don't blame Stefan for your destruction," Elena soberly mutters.

"You're all so damn dramatic. I got in a fight and almost slept with my ex-girlfriend. Call the police! Apparently every college student in America is now a murderer. You two really ought to leave Briarview some time."

"You're a ticking time bomb, Damon. Can you blame us for not wanting you around?"

Still a little drunk, I get a bit touchy.

"Can't you both just say you believe me? That's all I want. I'll even leave if you just admit that you know I couldn't kill someone…"

My words are slurred, but they understand. I walk closer to Elena. She's visibly uncomfortable, but what's personal space when you're wasted?

"Elena, please. You know I couldn't. I wouldn't."

"Look at you. Even you don't know what you're capable of when you're drunk."

"But you know me! What about the cemetery? All the longing looks? There's something here, Elena, between us. You know it. And because of it you know I would never do that."

"That's enough, Damon," Stefan interrupts.

"Elena, please. Please tell me you believe in me."

She stifles back tears, crosses her arms, and retains her position. She'll never believe in me again.

"I can't, Damon."

Stefan grabs her hand, and the two withdraw from the living room. I listen to their footsteps as they walk up the stairs and to their respective rooms.

Would I even believe me at this moment? I'm half dressed. My hair's a mess. I'm slurring my words like a madman. This is all my fault. _She has no reason to believe in me_.

From her tears, I could see that Elena wanted to deem me innocent, but she couldn't after tonight. There has to be some way to get her to see the good in me again. With this thought, I decide _not_ to pour myself another glass of bourbon. Instead, I follow the footsteps up the stairs. With any luck, Elena will have to go into my room to grab something to change into. So, I walk straight into the bedroom without hesitation.

There she is. Standing there like a goddess, Elena turns to see who's entered the room so rudely.

"You shouldn't be here."

"I think we've established that I'm not the good guy. So. I'm here. You know I didn't do this, Elena. It's easier for you to side with Stefan and everyone else so you do it."

"Do you even remember what you did to Matt tonight? And Jeremy? You hurt people I care about. I do believe that you wouldn't intentionally hurt someone but when you're provoked and wasted….I don't know! I don't know that side of you."

"When I'm drunk, I can get angry. But you act as if I got angry over nothing! Matt knows, Elena. He knows about Baltimore and he was confronting me about it."

"What did he say?"

"He said the words 'I know what you did in Baltimore you son of a bitch' and then proceeded to shove me. My actions were those of a shoved drunk. Situations like this don't end well for anyone. That doesn't mean I killed someone."

Her eyes dart left, then down. She's conflicted. I guess that's better than absolute certainty.

"What do you expect me to do, Damon?"

"Just don't give up on me. You're the only one whose opinion I can change."

She nods.

"Go apologize to my brother and friends tomorrow."

"I want your forgiveness, but we both know that's not me. I do things and I stick by my decisions. I'm not gonna go back on my actions. Then I look like Stefan."

Elena is visibly displeased, but she knew I wouldn't apologize. I'm not that guy.

"Not to mention, why would I apologize to Matt? He started this whole thing. And I'm sure a shove isn't going to break Jeremy's spine. I don't care what they think of me. I'm only asking for you to believe that I didn't do this."

"If you want to change my opinion of you, then do the right thing, Damon."

Why does she try to change me? Maybe I don't want to change. I do what I want. That can't change.

"I'm sorry for losing my temper and letting you down. That's it. Take it or leave it."

I begin to exit my room somewhat angrily.

"Wait."

I turn to Elena, intrigued by her distaste towards my exit.

"You scared me tonight. I've never seen you like that."

"I take after my father, Elena. I don't like who I am when I'm drunk. Hell, I don't like who I am when I'm not. But I'm usually a lot better at keeping myself under control. I don't drink that much. I had to tonight, though."

"Why? It was a dinner party, not a rave."

"Do you think it was pleasant having to sit there flirting with Caroline all night? It was nauseating, Elena. Not to mention, having you and Stefan sitting there doting over each other…"

She's clearly uncomfortable now that I'm finally addressing these feelings we've both been having. Someone has to, though.

"Why would you get drunk just to tolerate Caroline? You can't just mess with her like that! What's the point?"

"I think we both know what the point is. I saw you with Stefan."

"Are you insinuating that I patched things up with Stefan to get back at you for sleeping with Caroline?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying, Elena."

"I love Stefan. You know that. It was bound to happen at some point."

"If you loved Stefan we wouldn't be having this conversation right now."

Being the risk taker that I am, I take one step closer. Our best moments are spent on the edge of desire.

"What are we doing, Elena?"

"Damon, don't."

"Why not?"

She steps away and places both hands on her head in frustration.

"Do you not see how complicated our lives are right now? You're being accused of murder. I'm trying to salvage all my relationships. Don't ruin all the progress we've made. There. I'll say it. There's still hope for you. I believe in you. Don't give people more reasons to doubt your good intentions."

"My intentions aren't all that good, Elena."

I make up for the ground we lost. Taking out my hand, I carefully place it on her cheek.

She grimaces in frustration, and then places her hand on top of mine.

"I care about you. Don't self-destruct, Damon. There's a way out of all this, but this isn't it."

In her final act of refusal, Elena removes my hand from her face.

"We'll fix this. As much as I know I shouldn't, I'll help you."

"I'm never going to stop disappointing you. You know that right?"

She knows it. I'll never be Stefan.

"I don't believe that."

We stand there, locked in a longing but reserved embrace. I'll never be able to fully have Elena Gilbert. Nothing hurts quite like this.

We're abruptly interrupted by Stefan's entrance.

"Damon."

I give him a sarcastic salute and bid my goodbyes.

"Goodnight, Elena. Brother."

Elena flashes a sympathetic smile. As usual, Stefan remains emotionless.

He'll always be there standing in the way of my happiness. Once again, I feel numb.

* * *

**I hope you're all enjoying the story. I'm actually really excited for the new few chapters. There are some plot twists. If you don't mind, I'll be updating pretty frequently so I can get all the chapters I have done posted. Well, I'm going to go mentally prepare myself for Elena's breakdown on tonight's episode. Once again, thanks for reading! **

**xoxo Liz****  
**


	28. Ceasefires

What an exciting evening. I wonder if Stefan was jealous seeing me with Damon. He reacts completely different when Elena is with Damon. I wish there was a way to just get rid of Elena. She's the problem.

A knock sounds at the door and in walks said problem. Fantastic. A little Elena Gilbert whining is just what I need to end my perfect evening.

"What did I do to deserve such a miserable visit?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Concerning?"

"Baltimore."

"Why are you still asking questions? You saw Damon tonight. That's the Damon that ran away to Baltimore."

"I don't believe that."

"Your ignorance is repulsive."

She really needs to stop trying to help Damon. He's a lost cause.

"Let's cut to the chase. We both know he didn't kill anyone."

"So you're saying I did? Ouch, Elena. That's quite judgmental coming from a girl who's supposed to be the epitome of virtue. Do you think I'd kill someone over Damon Salvatore? You may be lost in his icy blue gaze but I prefer his brother."

"Why would Damon kill someone?"

"Because he loves me too much. You saw the two of us together. He'll never get over that."

"Damon almost slept with you because he thought he lost the people who care about him. Well, he hasn't. I'm not giving up on him, and I won't let Stefan either."

"At the end of the day, Stefan's going to trust me before he trusts you. Do you not understand that you're just the rebound?"

"Why are you so convinced your plan will work?"

Truth be told, I'm not anymore. Sure, Damon's about to be out of the picture but Elena is the ever-present annoyance that'll keep us apart. It's about time I change the subject.

"Why can't you go for Damon?"

"What? Because Stefan is my boyfriend. I love Stefan."

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself? I'm surprised you haven't asked me for advice on Salvatore love triangles yet."

"I'm not vindictive like you. There is no 'love triangle.' Damon's a friend, I guess. I'd never jeopardize any of our relationships to be with both of them. That's wrong."

"Don't you wonder what it's like to be with Damon?"

She angrily rolls her eyes and tries to regain her composure. Of course she thinks about Damon. I've got to keep egging her on. She needs to be at the point where she can't stop thinking about him. Pushing them together still may be my best option—for Damon's sake.

"I'm not going to sit here and indulge you. If you're not going to admit you're lying then I'm just going to go."

"Stefan's never going to be enough for you. You know that, right? He's holding you back," I desperately respond.

What else can I say to convince her?

"Please don't stand here and tell me what I'm supposed to do with my relationship, Katherine. I'm done talking about this."

She storms out of the guest room and down the hall. Well, I'm glad to have ruffled her feathers.

* * *

"Stefan?"

I peek into his bedroom to see if he's still awake. As I call out his name, Stefan strolls out of his bathroom draped in a towel, reminding me why I'm so attracted to him. He starts to change until I interrupt.

"Please don't dress on my account," I say suggestively.

"It's late, Katherine."

"I know. I want to talk, though."

"What could we possibly have to talk about?"

There wasn't much progress with Elena, so it's time to fill Stefan's head with ideas about Damon and Elena. He's more inclined to believe me because of his previous feelings.

"Damon and Elena."

Stefan cocks his head, displaying his interest. Now I've got his attention.

"Aren't you worried at all? Your brother's clearly in love with her."

He bites his lip, looks down, and then nods.

"I know."

Part of me doesn't want to hurt him, but another part knows that I have to. I take a seat on the bed near the bathroom door. Luckily, I hear a mug hit the counter downstairs. Elena's making herself a cup of coffee. This'll buy me some time.

"Are you afraid she loves him too?"

He grimaces.

"Do you think I really want to talk about this right now?"

"I think you've got no one else to talk about it with. You might as well get it all out."

Stefan nods and sits beside me. If he was wearing more than a towel this scheming would be a hell of a lot easier.

"You can talk to me, Stefan. I know you hate me and all that but really, I've been in a Salvatore love triangle before. I might be able to offer some useful advice."

Stefan remains silent. He's pondering my offer. Looks like I'll have to elicit his feelings through questions.

"Are you afraid Elena loves him too?"

"She doesn't _love_ him. But I guess I'm afraid that she's developing feelings. I couldn't blame her for seeking attention from someone else since I've been such a distant jerk lately, but Damon? Can't she see how wrong he is for her?"

He stops, but I wait for him to continue.

"I don't even know if those feelings are there. I just know she trusts him and they're forming a friendship. That's not okay. He's cunning and deceptive. He's got her fooled."

"The feelings are there. You might as well face it now rather than later."

"How can you be so sure?"

"They're dramatic late night talks, visits to the cemetery, her faith in him, come on, Stefan! It's not hard to see."

"She was just in his room a few minutes ago," he admits.

"On the same night he beat the crap out of one of her best friends. What else would compel her to forgive him after that?"

He nods and holds his head down for a few minutes. He's trying to come to terms with it. I want to reach out and help him so badly, but I can't be sincere when I'm being so deceptive. This really is wrong, but I have no other choice. How is Stefan ever going to willingly be with me if he still loves Elena?

"What should I do? I feel like a moron asking you for advice but I've got no one else."

"Well, my advice won't shock you but I'm being completely sincere when I advise this. Let her go. I'm not saying to give up or anything, but let her go so she can see what's out there. If you think Damon is that wrong for her, then she'll see that and come straight back. She's gotta get Damon out of her system. Trust me. He's like a 48 hour flu. She'll be done in a few days."

Stefan cocks his head and studies my face. He's wondering if there's true sincerity in my words. Hell, I almost believed my own lie. That was pretty damn good.

"I can't break up with Elena. That's too big of a risk. What if I never get her back?"

"You will. Trust me. You're hard to shake, Salvatore."

Stefan shyly smiles.

"When did I become this guy, Kat? Was I always this insecure and frantic?"

"No, you used to be a lot more fun. That's my point. You shouldn't have to be so insecure and worried that your girlfriend is going to leave you. Let her work things out so you can be the confident, endearing man I've come to know."

Oddly, that's true. He shouldn't have to be so frantic over losing Elena to Damon. He should be confident that the one he is with loves him. I want that for him, even if it doesn't end up being me in the end.

Whoa, I'm approaching sincerity. This isn't good.

"Maybe that's what Elena needs to see. I'm not going to put up with this crap. She can figure things out for herself, I'll do the same. I've got to show her that I'm not this weak, insecure boy. She's probably irritated by how clingy and possessive I've been, so I need to make a change."

Just hearing him talk so confidently gets me hot. _That's_ the Stefan I'm in love with.

"Good for you, Stef. Trust me. Elena will find this you a lot more appealing. I've got to go make a phone call. I'll talk to you in the morning?"

"Sure," he replies.

I turn to walk out the door when to my surprise he calls my name.

"Kat?"

I grin and turn, "Yes?"

"Thanks."

* * *

"Why are you calling so late?" the fatigued voice snares.

"Everything is unraveling."

"What the hell happened?"

"I think I've come up with a better plan. Elena is the problem. Is it really worth it to _kill _Damon? If Elena is out of the picture, you'll have your revenge on Damon and Stefan will be left single. It's perfect."

Even if Stefan breaks up with Elena, he'll still fight to get her back. I need her out of the picture. It's the only way. I'm desperate.

"I told you, Katherine. No one is to lay a finger on Elena. This isn't her problem."

"What kind of revenge is it just by killing him? Take away what he loves the most. He killed someone you loved. Eye for an Eye and all that."

"No! We're not hurting Elena. I don't want to hear anything more of this. Are you going soft on me?"

"No, I just don't think killing Damon is the best idea right now."

"And why's that?"

"I saw a different side of him today."

"We all did. Luckily, he won't be missed when he's gone. He proved he's a violent lunatic to the whole party."

"I know… Okay, I almost slept with him tonight and I just don't feel right hurting him. I've hurt him enough."

"Damnit, Katherine! Why would you let your personal feelings interfere with this? No, we're not changing our plan. You bring Damon to me tomorrow night or all bets are off."

"I don't think you're in a position to make such harsh demands. What have you done to help me with Stefan?"

"That's not of my concern while Damon Salvatore is still alive. Don't you forget that helping you with Stefan is a favor. You helped cover up the murder of a woman I loved. I could easily go to the police."

"You were never going to help me with Stefan, were you?"

"We'll see, Katherine. Tomorrow night. Down by the docks."

My mysterious partner hangs up the phone. Can I really do this? How can I deliver Damon to his death while I still feel his kiss on my neck? Am _I_ really that far gone?

I must protect myself. I'll always look out for myself. I'm so sorry, Damon, but better you die than I.


	29. Extractions

I wake up draped in Stefan Salvatore. The events of last night all blur together in my mind. How quickly I chose to get back together with the source of my ennui. He caught me at a moment of weakness, I suppose. I love Stefan, but I can't love him like this. He's a mess, and so am I.

Cautiously, I wiggle my way out of his arms and step onto the floor. There are noises in the hall, so I assume Damon is awake. I really shouldn't test my limits with him, but I can't help but see what he's up to. I step towards the door and peak out.

He's looking through an armoire in the hallway for a jacket. Where could be going?

"Elena, you're really going to need to stop spying on me."

I look to my right and realize there's a mirror on the wall. This _must_ look like the actions of someone who's 'uninterested' in Damon Salvatore.

"Where are you off to?"

"We all slept in late. It's noon, so I've got some things to prepare for."

"Are we really back to this 'secret agenda' thing again?"

"Oh, sorry. It's not a secret. It is a big deal though. Katherine's agreed to meet me tonight at the grill to decide upon a truce."

For some reason, I'm irritated by the fact that he's spending the night with Katherine. That woman has nothing but malicious intentions. But I can't believe she's willing to call a truce. Why would she want to make peace?

"That's surprising."

"Yeah, I know. She said she's ready to honestly talk about everything that happened. Then she'll find a way to tell Stefan the truth blah blah, I don't really believe her. She's probably just toying with me. We'll see, though."

I nod my head. If he thinks she's lying, why would he go? I remember last night and what I almost walked in on. _Disgusting_. Is he really that willing to jump back into bed with her? Can't he see he's better than that?

"I guess I won't be expecting you home early then," I imply.

Damon smirks.

"You're worried I'll sleep with Katherine. That's cute."

"No, I'm not. Maybe I don't want you to contract any diseases. Can't risk having those in the house!" I quip.

"Clever. I don't plan on sleeping with Katherine. But then again, according to everyone in this house, I'm a crazy alcoholic. So, who knows?"

"I'm just saying that you're better than that. You deserve better than that."

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. We'll see."

"Be careful tonight."

"I will," he says with a nod before marching down the stairs.

I watch him walk away with all the hope in the world. Damon may say he's on high alert to Katherine's games, but he's clearly excited about clearing his name. If she lets him down, I don't know how he'll recover.

So, what am I supposed to do with my day? Stefan and I are back together. There are no Damon disasters to fix. Do I really have the day to myself—until Stefan wakes up, that is?

Minutes after, I grab my laptop off the desk in Damon's room and march down the stairs. I decide to make myself a grand breakfast. A Greek omelet sounds fantastic. I'll make two just in case Stefan wakes up during my short period of freedom. Between flips of the omelet, I open my laptop and begin researching colleges. I need to start thinking about my future and what I'm going to do with my life. I haven't even declared a major yet and the tiny Briarview College doesn't have many to offer. History has always been a passion of mine, but so has English. I'd love to write books, but there's no money in that, unfortunately.

Once my omelet is fully cooked, I set everything down on the island and take a seat on one of the five barstools. The silence of the house is perturbing me. I find myself anxiously awaiting a sound of Stefan's awakening. To rid myself of anxiety, I open iTunes and play a soothing Civil Wars track. I enjoy letting loose and doing things fully for myself in this moment. I give up the search for a bit of dancing. As Fun's "Light a Roman Candle" begins to play, I frolic around the kitchen like a child. Silly love songs used to have such a mood-enhancing effect on me. I let that effect slowly sink in to every part of me as the sun shines through the vast kitchen window above the sink. No Stefan, no Katherine, and no Damon. I'm entirely alone on this beautiful day, and I couldn't be happier about it.

Eventually, Stefan awakens and walks down the stairs to find me belting out my best attempt at David Bowie's "Suffragette City."

"Don't quit your day job," he quips.

I slyly grin back at him.

"Speaking of day jobs, what do you think of me transferring to University of Georgia?"

He cocks his head.

"You? At a state school? That's a big step."

"I need a change, Stefan. I don't feel like I'm doing anything with my life right now."

"I understand," he nods.

"You're incredibly smart. What made you want to stay here?"

Stefan eyes me suspiciously, assuming I'd already known the answer. Once he realizes I'm dumbfounded, he answers.

"You."

What? I've always felt like I gave up so much to stay here with Stefan.

"Do you not remember your whole speech the night before graduation about how you couldn't leave your family? Or how you didn't have the money to go away?"

I'd almost completely forgotten. I was overly emotional the night before graduation because I knew my parents wouldn't be seated in the front like they'd always promised.

"But I thought you were planning on staying in Briarview?"

"No, I wasn't planning on it. But I made you think I was so you didn't feel bad about not going to the school you wanted. I wanted you to have a tangible reason to stay."

Stefan's admittance leaves me speechless. I feel as if I'm the one who's been holding him back this whole time. The worst part of this is that I don't think my real reason for not going away was my family. I was scared. I'm still scared to leave the only home I've ever known and start over. I always talk about how I want to let go of my misery and tragedies, but I can't seem to leave them behind.

"You shouldn't have done that. Why would you give up going to a great school for me, Stefan?"

"Because I love you. Do you really have to ask that? I couldn't let you stay here on your own."

"We both keep sacrificing our integrity for a relationship. Is that really fair?"

Stefan chuckles.

"You think I sacrificed my integrity to be with you? And you sacrificed yours to be with me?"

"Yes. Look where we're headed: nowhere. We're never getting out of this town."

"So you see our relationship as a sacrifice. It has nothing to do with love."

"I never said that."

"Basically what you're saying is that you're bored. You need a change because you're bored. I get it."

"Stefan, I never said that!"

"Is that why you make your late night stops to my brother's room?"

"Are you accusing me of something?"

"I just asked a question."

"Why does it always come back to my friendship with Damon? Why can't you just accept it?"

Stefan remains silent. I'm tired of this jealous boyfriend bullshit. It's like he doesn't trust me.

"You need to stop being jealous and maybe_ try_ to understand why I'm friends with him. Maybe then you'll see what I see. "

"I'm jealous because I'm looking out for your safety? Okay, Elena. Whatever's going on between you and Damon is becoming exhausting. One day you hate him; then the next day it's a 'friendship.' What about what he said last night: about there being 'something there' and the 'longing looks?' You think I'm the one with the issues lately but it's you. I know where I stand with my brother and everyone around me. You're the one who needs to sort things out."

Is it really a crime to find someone enticing? I've never acted on any of the vibes between Damon and I. Sure, Damon and I are back and forth with how we feel about each other. One day he consumes my thoughts and makes me smile, but the next I'm convinced he's a murderer. Yes, that's a bit "screwy" but I haven't done anything to hurt Stefan.

"You win, Stefan. Things are tricky with your brother but there's nothing inappropriate going on."

"You're intrigued by the idea of him having feelings for you. I'm not going to sit here and beg you to stay with me when I'm making you 'sacrifice your integrity.' Go figure out what you need to and I'll do the same. I'm not going to take that anymore. Maybe you're right. Maybe I did sacrifice my integrity for you. Well, I'm taking it back."

"So, what? You're breaking up with me? Stefan, come on. Over a couple looks and conversations with Damon? That's ridiculous."

"You're running around telling this story of me holding you back. Then you have these intense conversations with Damon, who I've told you around 1,000 times is dangerous. You don't trust me and you don't respect me. Until that changes, I think we need some time. "

Reality sets in. He really is calling it quits. Stefan's spent two years doing everything in his power to keep me in his grasp, yet, now, he's setting me free? Do I even want to be set free? Stefan's eyes swell. It seems as if a waterfall is about to burst through, but he stifles it.

"I'm sorry if that all sounded cruel but this isn't how a relationship works, Elena. We can't do it like this anymore."

"Fine," I mutter as I walk towards the stairs.

I retreat to my room/Damon's room/I don't even know whose room this is anymore. What am I supposed to do now? You got what you wanted, Elena: your freedom. But I still love Stefan. Of course I'm heartbroken. Why is he suddenly acting so candidly? I haven't really taken a good look at myself in the mirror lately. Stefan has done so much for me. Maybe I am being unfair to him. No, I _know_ I'm being unfair to him. He's right. I have to sort things out. Seeing Stefan act the way he did tonight reminds me of the Stefan I love the most. He's not the sentimental mess I've come to know in the past few months. As these thoughts race through my brain, I gradually fall into a deep sleep that lasts several hours.

A buzz sounds from across the room. I gaze over to the dresser and see my phone light up. I walk across the room, and a text message shows on the screen. It's from Damon.

**I don't think Kat's gonna show.**

Poor Damon. I could see in his eyes that he really wanted tonight to work out. What time is it? The clock on my phone reports 9:30. I'd slept for six hours. Breakups really take a lot out of me, apparently.

**Don't give up yet. Maybe she'll show?**

Another buzz.

**I won't hold my breath. **

And cynical Damon returns. He deserves something good in his life that will make him see things differently. I'd ask Stefan to text Katherine, but I don't think now is the right time to start speaking to him.

Ten minutes later, my phone buzzes and lights up once more.

**She's actually here. She said she'll tell Stefan so we're coming your way soon.**

I respond.

**No way! Be careful, tho. Doesn't sound like Katherine.**

I'm skeptical. Why would she be so eager to make Stefan hate her?

**She said we have to make one stop before. **

This doesn't sound right to me. I cannot trust Katherine. Something in me won't allow it.

**Text me once you're there and once you leave. **

Damon responds.

**Alright, Mom.**

His comedy eases my suspicions for a few minutes, but then twenty minutes pass with no response. Where'd she take him and why wasn't he doing as he promised? It's probably nothing. I shouldn't be pacing the room over this.

Twenty _more_ minutes pass and now I'm worried. I've texted Damon about ten times and there's been no response. I'm still not sure what Katherine's capable of. What if she hurt him? I can't bear the thought of it.

To ease my mind, I decide upon driving to the pub to see if anyone knows where they went. This may seem premature, but I've had horrible feelings in my gut about this 'truce.' So, I take my keys off the nightstand and race to the Briarview Pub.

Caroline is seated at a table in the center of the room, attracting the attention of some of Briarview's finest young bachelors.

"Car!" I call out.

"I don't really feel like talking to you right now, Elena."

"What, why? No, that's not important. I need to know if you've seen Damon or this woman Katherine."

"Of course. I should've known you'd be down here rubbing Damon in my face," Caroline snarls and turns away.

"Wait, what? Caroline I think he's in trouble. Have you seen him?"

"Yes, Elena! I saw him this afternoon when he told me we were done. He broke up with me and I'm suspecting it had a lot to do with _you_."

They weren't even really dating. Did she not hear the part that he was in danger? I love Caroline, but she can be so self-centered. Not to be a total hypocrite, but did Damon really break up with Caroline over me? It doesn't matter. Elena, you're not going there. You're here for a purpose.

"Car, I'm really and truly sorry. I got dumped today too. We'll cry later, but I need to know if you have any idea where the two of them went."

"Stefan broke up with you? That's ridiculous. You two are total perfection," she says as her compassion breaks through.

That's it. I grab Caroline by the shoulders.

"Car, do you know where Damon and Katherine went?"

She fearfully looks back at me and almost inaudibly utters, "No."

Frustrated, I stomp away and look for anyone else who could be of help.

Jeremy, Mrs. Lockwood, and several other locals tell me they saw Damon, but had no idea where he and Katherine were going.

This is a fruitless effort. My last idea is to drive around town looking for Katherine's car. Isn't that a bit desperate, though? Damon is probably fine, and I'll just look like a lunatic. What if they're _together _and that's why he's not answering? Boy, would I feel embarrassed. A drive-by search won't seem as obsessive. It couldn't hurt.

So, I drive up and down the streets of Briarview searching for Katherine's red sedan. Once again, my efforts are futile. However, on my drive back home, I notice a car that resembles Katherine's parked on a random street corner near the park. As fast as possible, I get out of my car and search the area. As it turns out, the red sedan belongs to Katherine. This is made clear by the tacky leopard steering-wheel cover. This definitely isn't normal, though. Why would she park here? Where could they have gone? I walk down the block the car is parked on. Eventually, I hit the docks by the marina. All of a sudden, footsteps sound behind me. A woman, presumably Katherine, permeates the darkness, retreating up the street I just came down. Something isn't right. Where's Damon?

* * *

**I'm so excited to finally be able to post the beginning of the most action packed chapters of the story so far. Hope you're enjoying them!**

**xoxo Liz**


	30. Guilt

Well, I finally did it. I tossed and turned over this idea all night. How could I have said goodbye to the woman I love most in the world? Doing this in hopes of bringing her back seems counterintuitive, doesn't it?

She fell in love with me because I was strong for her. I'm not strong right now. I'm weaker than ever. We've both got a lot of changing and thinking to do, I suppose. How did Katherine see this when I couldn't?

This weekend certainly was crazy. I wonder if Katherine expects me to go running back to her now that I broke things off with Elena. I have a slight feeling that she presumes this breakup is permanent, rather than a ploy to keep Elena interested.

Do I even want to try and start things with Katherine again? Probably not. I don't feel the things I used to feel because of my feelings for Elena. But what if Elena hates me for breaking up with her?

Enough with the questions. I've got to stop questioning and start doing.

My evening is wide open, so I might as well enjoy it. The Salvatore family is known for its long line of endowed chefs. Tonight seems like the ideal evening for veal scallopini. As expected, it tastes divine. I sit down with a plate of my dish and grab Damon's bourbon. Let's see if his go-to solution can fix my problems as well.

As I go to pour the liquor into my glass, someone knocks on the door. It's probably Elena returning from her dramatic exit. I take less than four steps before the door swings wide open.

"We've got to go fix this," Katherine says.

She seems like an emotional wreck. Her hair is a mess and there are lines of mascara running down her rosy cheeks.

Katherine comes running into the foyer and falls into my arms. Out of instinct, I wrap my arms around her in a tight embrace. Old, tender feelings resurface, but I quickly overcome this sentiment.

"What happened?" I question.

"Just hold me for ten more seconds. Then you're free to hate me for eternity," she responds soberly.

I instantly release her.

"What happened?" I repeat sternly.

"I messed up. This whole thing was a huge mistake, Stefan. But we can still fix it if we hurry."

"I'm not hurrying anywhere until you explain what this mistake is. I'm in the middle of a relaxing dinner if you haven't noticed."

"Damon didn't kill anyone, Stefan. I did. It was all me and I've been trying to run from it, but I have to own up to it right now or else you won't help your brother."

Deep down I knew Damon couldn't kill someone, but I also didn't think Katherine was capable of it either. This news hits me like a truck. My stomach is twisting into thousands of tight coils. I almost fall over, but somehow I retain my composer. I've treated Damon horribly. I've treated Elena horribly for believing him. How could I have been so blind? He's my brother, damnit. Why'd I trust her?

"Do you understand what you've done? You've caused an irreparable rift between more than just Damon and me."

"Stefan, I know. I know."

"You did all this so I'd love you? You failed. You destroyed so much and you still got nothing out of it!" I scream.

She begins to sob. I've never seen this side of her. It's almost human, though it's probably an act.

"I didn't do it so you'd love me, Stefan. I did it to protect myself! The woman Damon killed was married. He found me! Somehow in his search he came across tapes from that night and found me. I didn't know what to do. I panicked," She says between sobs.

"Katherine, what did you do?"

"I told him that I helped cover up Isobel's death. Isobel was the woman's name. I told him it was Damon who killed her. And I know that's horribly wrong. I know it. But I didn't want to end up rotting in prison, Stefan. I wanted more for myself than that! My life has already been a colossal failure. I couldn't end up in prison to top it all off. Stefan, you know I'll always protect myself first. That's just how I raised myself to be."

"Damnit, Katherine! So your selfishness has Damon in trouble with the law."

"No, it's worse than that. I don't even think I can go on telling you the rest. You're never going to forgive me. I'd do anything just to keep you _this_ mad at me."

What could be worse than her ratting Damon out to Isobel's husband? He'll surely be arrested within the next few days. This is awful. How can I fix this?

"Please, Katherine. Tell me the truth. All of it."

Katherine swallows, nods her head, and continues.

"Isobel's husband said he'd turn both Damon and I in to the police if I didn't help him arrange a meeting with Damon. He also said he'd help me win you back but I should've known he was bluffing there. At first I thought arranging the meeting would be really simple. What harm could that do? Eventually I learned he had more sinister plans than that… I wasn't okay with it all. I was going crazy when he revealed his real plan. He wants to hurt Damon. No, more than that. He's made it really clear that he wants to kill him, Stefan."

My head is spinning. I finally fall to my knees. Katherine's helping arrange the _murder_ of my brother. And I've failed to do anything about it.

"How…how could you? Do you have any remorse for the first person you killed? Now you're going to kill Damon? He's loved you for years, Katherine! He's done nothing but love you! And now you're going to have him killed."

"It's awful. I'm awful. I know that. I was trying to protect myself but, and I'll never admit this again, his life is more important than my freedom. We need to stop this."

"You're damn right we do. But how? When is this happening?"

"See that's the problem…"

How could this get any worse?

"I just dropped him off at the docks for the 'meeting' half an hour ago."


	31. Reckoning

Everything is black. There's a throbbing pain at the back of my head. That's right: Katherine knocked me over the head when we stopped at that street corner. So much for being a badass, Damon.

Where am I? I open my eyes and in front of me I see water. I'm backed up against a garage where boats are stored. It seems that I've been dropped off at the docks of the marina. Where'd Katherine go?

"Kat, I think it's time to help me up," I say with a groan as I attempt to stand.

A few minutes pass and I call out again, "Kat?"

Only the stirring water sounds in this deadly evening. Something baleful approaches. A shadow turns the corner and a man comes into view, but it is too dark to see his face.

Because my sense of vision is diminished in the darkness, my hearing improves. Not surprisingly, I perceive the click of the safety of a gun being reversed. Isn't it eerie that just yesterday I wondered how many minutes were left in my life?

"I should've figured you'd be back for more, Donovan. But is this really necessary?"

The dark figure stays unvoiced.

"Matt, let's both calm our sociopathic tendencies. Put the gun down."

I'm fully standing at this point. With the way the moonlight hit's the man, I can make out his profile. Crap. This is not Matt Donovan.

"Alright, so what'd I do to you? Hit your car? Sleep with your girl? So now you're going to kill me?"

The man inches forward. He falters in his movements. Clearly he's not a professional, so maybe I can talk him out of this. I'm not too scared.

"Don't you want to say any dramatic words before you kill me? This is hardly theatrical."

"I'm not going to make your death worth remembering you sick son of a bitch," the voice finally responds.

The voice is familiar, but I can't figure out who it belongs to. Could it be Jeremy? No, that profile was nothing like Jeremy Gilbert's. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't hate me enough to come at me with a gun.

Suddenly, I realize it's one of the voices I heard in the basement. So this man is in cahoots with Katherine. They've both been planning to kill me from the start. I never realized she was _that_ devious. It's a bit tragic how I thought some part of her loved me. I thought she at least cared enough about me to keep me alive. Apparently not, though.

"So you and Katherine want me dead. I still can't fathom why. Care to enlighten me?"

"I'm here to avenge Isobel."

So much for not making things dramatic: "avenge." Isobel. So this _is_ about Baltimore. Why am I not surprised? Of course Katherine has this man fooled into thinking I killed her. She's just protecting herself as she always does. Still, I never thought she'd sacrifice my life for her own safety. This situation is depressing but not entirely shocking. It's typical of my luck.

The man finally steps out of the shadows and close to my feet.

There stands Alaric Saltzman: history professor turned vigilante. At least he has hobbies?

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Alaric Saltzman: the charming lumberjack. I'm terrified, really. Instead of a ninja-turtles-esque faceoff, let's go grab some drinks at the pub and talk this over. You've been fed a lot of bull lately, buddy."

"You're not the one calling the shots here. Get back down on the ground."

Rick raises his gun. Whoa, is he serious? He's never seemed to be the violent type.

"Rick, I didn't kill Isobel. How does this even affect you?"

"She was my _wife_!" He yells with a shot to the ground.

Already half way bent down, I drop to the ground. What the hell! He _is_ serious. This is personal. The man thinks I killed his wife. Well, I was sleeping with his wife. So I guess I deserve a shot in the ankle or something, but he can't kill me. I would never have hurt her.

"You've got to believe me, Rick. I never hurt Isobel. I wouldn't."

"You don't get to say her name."

"Calm down. Let's talk about what happened."

"I'm tired of listening to you talk your way out of things," Rick says as he once again raises his weapon.

I sense that he's about to go for the shot. I raise my arm to attempt to deflect it from my head, when suddenly I hear footsteps running up the trail to this area.

Suddenly the most beautiful sight I've ever seen comes running into view: Elena Gilbert. She's distressed and out of breath. Elena really came to find me. She's really here.

"Rick? What are you doing?" Elena questions frantically.

"Get out of here, Elena. This doesn't involve you," he rebuffs harshly.

"He thinks I killed his wife, Isobel," I inform her.

Elena's jaw drops. Yep, she's his wife. I'm just as shocked. She cautiously approaches Rick and places her hand on his shoulder.

"Rick, he didn't do this. I know him. He didn't," Elena assures him.

Contrary to his normal gentile manner, he pushes her back forcefully.

"Elena, leave. I need to end this and you're not going to stop me, so you need to go. Now."

He lifts his weapon and begins to aim.

"Elena, go. Tell Stefan I'm sorry," I tell her.

I assume she'll go, but much to my surprise, she continues walking straight towards me.

Elena stands beside my crouched-over body and tries to talk Rick off this ledge.

"This isn't you. Don't let your anger consume you like this. You don't want to hurt him, Rick. It won't bring her back. If you really want to do something, call the police. Do it the right way."

"It's too late for that! Don't you see that there's no evidence? He's a free man. It's not fair, Elena."

"Fine, kill him. Then what? You end up in prison. What about Jeremy and I? Don't you care about us at all?"

"I'm so sorry, Elena. You know you and Jeremy mean the world to me but this is my last chance at avenging Isobel. She deserved better."

For the final time, Rick positions his gun, aims, and fires straight at my chest. I don't even realize it hit me until I look down. Then the pain sinks in. I feel as if I'm choking. I lunge forward, then backward, and then I fall to my back. Elena screams. Her face shows a look of sheer terror.

"No! No! Rick, he didn't do this!"

Rick walks over to examine his work. Much to my surprise, Rick aims and fires once more. This final shot on the opposite side of my chest. This one fires into me like a torpedo.

"Then who did, Elena? Huh?"

"It was Katherine! She tricked you so you wouldn't do the same to her! Oh my god…"

Elena falls down to her knees beside me and Rick places his hands on his head in frustration. He realizes what he's done.

"Oh god…No. No, it couldn't have been." Rick utters.

"She's been playing everyone! Oh my god, Damon. Damon," she repeats as she touches my face, searching for consciousness.

"No, oh god. Elena…." His eyes turn from those of a livid maniac to those of a frightened child. Overcome with remorse and confusion, Rick bolts out of the marina.

Before clearing the garages, he looks back at Elena and me. His visage shows remorse, but fulfillment. He's done what he needed to do.

Everything is hazy. It's even darker than before. I'm fading in and out, I suppose.

"Damon? Damon? Can you hear me? You're going to be fine. It's not bad. It's not," she lies between her intense sobs.

I can feel it. _It's bad._

"Elena, I'm sorry," I moan.

"What? Damon, no. It's fine. Everything's fine."

"I couldn't be who you wanted me to be and I'm sorry," I say with a loud cough.

"Damon, stop it! Stop talking to me like you're on your death bed. Just stop. It's fine."

She calls for an ambulance while I lay here paralyzed in a pool of my own blood. I always thought I'd die with more dignity than this.

"I'm sorry," I keep repeating.

The tables really have turned. I couldn't get her to stop apologizing when we first met. Now I'm the one who feels I owe her the world.

"Damon, you're exactly the person I _needed_ you to be. "

Elena openly weeps while trying to keep her composure. She fails at this. Elena is ruled by emotions. That's why people are drawn to her, though. She loves openly with compassion and sincerity.

Elena wraps her arms around me and waits for an ambulance. It's been about five minutes and no one has come. This is it: the end.

"We need to put pressure on the wounds," she says worriedly.

Elena takes off her cardigan and folds it into a compress. She presses down on one of the wounds and tries to hold the other with my bloody shirt. This resembles a scene from a survival film or _Lost_.

I'm fading. My eyelids flutter and all I see are blurs of the night: shades of gray and black.

"Keep your eyes open. They're almost here, okay?"

Her compassion knows no bounds. She's still here with me. She's not leaving.

"Thank you," I utter between short breaths.

So this is where it ends: our journey from innumerable "I'm sorry's" to "thank you." It's somewhat poetic.

"I should've been here sooner. I looked everywhere, Damon. I tried to find you but no one knew where she took you."

Tears cascade down her face in thin, quick streams. Elena tried to save me. She knew something was wrong. How did she know?

I reach my arm out and feel for her hand. I grasp it as firmly as possible. This is not her fault. At all.

Sirens are heard a few miles away. They'll be too late, though. I don't get the happy ending.

Yet, this, in a way, is happy enough. At least it all ends here in the arms of the one woman who's ever truly cared for me. I don't think I'd rather go any other way.

Eventually, all I see is black. I can barely think straight, yet I still hear voices around me. A van, presumably an ambulance, pulls up by the docks. Elena's yelling something I can barely make out.

She's talking to someone.

"Stefan? Please call me back. It's Damon. I don't know what to do. Please get to the hospital… It's bad, Stefan. It's so bad."

* * *

**Besides the visit to the cemetery, this is my favorite chapter so far. Whether it marks the end of a beautiful friendship or the beginning of a lifelong partnership, Damon and Elena have grown together in such poetic fashion. I hope you're all enjoying the story. The reviews you've been leaving are overly-gracious. I really appreciate all of them. Thanks so much!**

**Liz**


	32. Goodbyes

As Stefan's face contorts into a disgusted expression, I slowly back up against the wall. This will not end well.

Stefan paces the foyer, each step awakening a new sentiment in him: rage, fear, and grief. He rushes at me, raising his fist to strike, but then punches straight into the wall.

"What the hell were you thinking? My brother is left out there to die! How could you be so fucking heartless?"

I wince and try to suppress the tears from pouring down my cheeks.

"No, you know what? I don't want explanations. I need to go save my brother," he snarls.

Stefan garbs his keys off the side-table and heads for the door. Just as he reaches for the handle, though, someone else pushes the door open.

"It's done. I hope you're happy. You've fooled me and you got off scot free," Alaric says as he tosses his gun to the middle of the foyer.

Stefan's eyes dart back and forth as he backs away from the door. He paces the foyer mumbling, clearly about to break.

"I never asked you to kill him. I never wanted this, Rick!"

"I thought he killed my wife! What else could I have done?"

"It should've been you. Damnit, Katherine. It should've been you," Stefan mutters before striking the wall once again.

The tears finally start streaming. Damon's dead and Stefan wishes that I was. How much more hurt can I suffer?

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry," is all I can think to say.

Damon protected me and I led him to the slaughter. How _could_ I be so heartless? I tried. We were going to save him. We were leaving just a minute ago. How could fate be such a cruel mistress as to not let me right my wrongs?

"Stefan, I'm sorry doesn't even begin to cover any of what happened. I considered shooting myself on the spot but I don't deserve to escape living with this burden for the rest of my life. I'm leaving town tonight. Please, know that I never wanted this. And please tell Elena and Jeremy how sorry I am and how much I love them."

Rick bids this final statement, looks at Stefan, and then turns to me. He then puts his head down and slightly shakes it. He's not even angry. He's distraught. He's ruined. I've managed to ruin so many people. What is wrong with me?

Alaric steps out the door and walks to his car. I have a feeling I'll never see him again. It's not him I'm concerned about missing, though. Damon's gone: forever. How am I supposed to handle that? How am I supposed to live with myself?

Without looking back at me, Stefan follows out the door and gets in his own car. He's probably going to the hospital. Should I even bother going with him? He won't let me. Is it so wrong that I want to be there when he identifies the body? It's what I deserve. I should see what I've caused. Also, I just want one last glimpse of Damon.

I'm about to go crazy. How am I supposed to live this way? Two deaths. As if the first doesn't already consume my thoughts enough, now I have to carry the guilt of murdering someone I loved. Yes, I'll admit it. I loved Damon Salvatore at some point in time. All he's ever done is protect and love me in return: and I killed him. No wonder my parents despise me. All I do is cause destruction.

My next thought is to run. I need to get away from here. Or do I? Maybe redemption can be found through admitting what I've done and accepting my fate. No, that's not me. But I do need to see Damon one last time.

So, I begin my drive to Briarview Community Hospital. I haven't been here since I was very young: too young to be giving birth to a child, that is. As I approach the entrance, horrible memories flood my mind, especially that of the screaming infant torn from my arms.

I peer around corners inside the hospital hoping to go unnoticed. I'm not sure if anyone has alerted the police just yet. Quickly, I duck inside a patient's room as I see Stefan running down the hall. It seems as though Elena has broken down completely in the center of the hallway. She's lying on the floor with her arms in front of her. I've never sympathized with her until this moment. She loved him as much as I did, I assume. Stefan drops to the floor and wraps his arms around her without saying a word. They understand each other's pain. I'll never have that. I don't get to share my pain when I'm the cause of it all.

Before they can see me, I rush across the hall to the room Elena lays outside of. He's lying there on the bed covered in a white sheet: lifeless. Suddenly I'm nauseous and in a fit of shaking. Even I didn't know I was capable of this. How could this have happened to me? Why would I have ever helped someone kill a human being? Of course, now that it's too late, I think of all the evenings beneath the willows in the woods. Damon's love was selfless. He'd protected me for all this time. I should've done the same for him. Damon, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else I can say. You deserved better than this.

That's enough sentiment for one evening. I've got the rest of my life to carry this burden, so I might as well try to subdue the pain starting now. I walk out the front doors of the hospital and into my car. After a brief stop at a local convenience store for a bottle of whiskey, I drive down that all too familiar road leading up to our wooded hideout. Me and the bottle, my only friend in the world, lay sprawled out across leaf-covered ground. The ground is as cold as ice by this time of night. That's perfectly fine, though. It's numbing. All I want for the rest of eternity is to be numb. Anything's better than living with what I've done.


	33. Comfort

I wail into Stefan's shoulder, convulsing. He won't make it. I can feel it in my gut. It's bad. The last word's I said to him were a lie. I said everything would be fine, but it's never going to be fine.

"I need to go in there and say goodbye. I need to do something," Stefan breathes.

"He's in surgery. There's nothing we can do except wait. That's all I've been doing. Why weren't you here, Stefan?" I cry.

"That's not his room?"

As Stefan says this, an old man covered with a sheet is pushed out of his room and towards the morgue. I'd collapsed outside a stranger's room while Damon was rushed into surgery. It seems as though Stefan assumed this man was Damon's lifeless body. No, Stefan. We don't get the easy way out. We have to sit here in the hall and wait for the dreadful news while the doctors poke and prod until there's nothing left to do—just like I did so many years ago.

"No, he's in surgery. Dr. Fell already told me he barely has a chance. They gave me all this paperwork, Stefan. I don't know what to do," I weep as I fall back into the crevice of his shoulder and arm.

"I've got it. Elena, we're going to get through this. No matter the outcome, we're going to be alright. I'm going to make sure Katherine pays for this."

He's angry, but a relieved sentiment permeates every inch of his body. He relaxes. How can he be so calm? Death is still looming over our forlorn heads.

"No, Stefan! Don't you see what revenge and anger do to people? You've got to stop this cycle. She's driving everyone out of their minds! Just let it be. Do Damon this one favor and just forget about her."

My words are wise but hell, I want to strangle Katherine. She's ruined everything. She killed Damon and took anyway any chance that Rick had in life. By doing that, she's torn apart my family. Jeremy will never forgive me. He'll blame Stefan. And how am I supposed to forgive Rick? I can't justify what he did, but I understand his grief, I suppose. But what could've driven him to want to murder someone? Who even is he? My mind is overflowing with questions. There's nothing left to do, though. I'll have to just stay here and comfort Stefan. And he'll be there for me. This is how it's always going to be. Life is one big tragedy.

Stefan nods and tears begin pouring out of his eyes. I hold him like I held Damon down at the docks. I want to give him all the care and compassion that I can, but I'm not strong enough right now. Though Damon isn't my brother, I've come to care deeply about him. I'm not going to deny my strong feelings for him. I just wish I would've told him before it was too late. Now I'm left here with Stefan: forever. He'll just be a reminder of what I lost. It's my fault. This is all my fault. I could've stopped it. I should've gotten there earlier or not let him go. I knew Katherine was planning something but I couldn't ask him to stay. I should've. I really should've.

Meredith Fell, the doctor assigned to Damon's case, approaches Stefan and I. She crouches down to speak to us in a more personal way.

"His heart rate is slowing and his breathing is faint. We're doing all we can. As I told you earlier, he was practically DOA. There's little we can do, but we're trying nonetheless."

"Thank you," Stefan says barely audibly.

"I'm so sorry, Stefan. I tried to be there. I tried so hard to save him but I couldn't, Stefan. I couldn't."

"How could you possibly blame yourself? This is my fault! I let Katherine into our home. I let her trick me. I should've known something was going on. I practically sealed his fate."

I throw my head back into the wall and try to impede the tears.

"Why weren't you here? I called you so many times on the way over here and when they rushed him into surgery. I needed you, Stefan. He needed you."

Stefan grips his head with both hands and grunts angrily.

"Katherine was telling me everything she did and ranting about how we needed to save Damon. We wasted time. Too much time. Then Rick showed up, and I was already too late. I wasn't bothering with my phone."

"She admitted it?"

"Yes, a bit too late, though."

This doesn't surprise me. Katherine's a good person on her own terms, it seems. She really was Damon's downfall: mentally and physically.

"I said I hated him so many times. I pushed him out. I told my brother that I _hated_ him. I loved him, Elena."

"I know. I know, Stefan. _Me too_," I reply as I nod and rub his shoulder.

Several hours pass and the surgeons begin exiting the operating room. Doctor Fell is walking down the hall towards us. I'm not ready for this. I'll never be ready for this. It's crazy how much this one man changed my whole view of the world in such a short period of time. Now he's gone and I'm left here a wreck. I never imagined he'd make this much of an impact.

"Would you two like to sit in the waiting room with your friends before we speak?"

Who would've showed up for Damon? No one was particularly fond of him after his outburst at dinner. I agree to this, though. Stefan and I walk to the waiting room and find a seat amongst a sea of concerned faces. Matt and Caroline make room for Stefan and me to sit beside them. Bonnie is standing against the wall looking quite distressed. But what surprises me the most is the male standing by her side: Jeremy. He rushes towards me and holds me tight. My brother, the ultimate despiser of Salvatores, is here.

"Thank you," I say between sobs.

With hesitation, I release Jeremy to Bonnie and take my seat next to Stefan. Matt is seated to my right. He tenderly holds my hand to show his compassion. I nod in his direction to show my understanding. He probably feels overly guilty for how he treated Damon and Stefan at this point.

"Let me know whenever you're ready to talk, but we need to make some decisions quickly," Meredith tells Stefan.

"I'm ready. Can we do it here? I can't go out into that hall. Not now," Stefan responds.

Meredith gazes across the room and then nods.

"Well, your brother has suffered very traumatic injuries. However, we've managed to stabilize him. We're concerned about internal bleeding and other complications so he cannot be released for quite some time. We're fairly confident that he's going to pull through, but these next 24 hours are critical. We'll need to monitor his vitals and run several tests. He may have to go under again if complications do arise. For now, though, he's stabilized and everything seems to be functioning relatively well."

Meredith's words barely register with me. I heard the word 'stabilize' and everything else instantly turned to nonsense. Damon pulled through? It's a miracle, but I won't question it. I can't question it. How is it even possible? What did I do to deserve such a blessing? My first instinct is to race to his room and fall to pieces, but I can't do that. I have to be here for Stefan first. This is his brother.

"So he's okay?" Stefan questions skeptically.

"For now. I can go into more detail medically but I figured you would want to hear this part first."

Stefan smiles, looks up, and returns his head back to a neutral position. Meredith takes him to meet with the surgeons and they discuss Damon's condition. Now I'm left in a room full of friends and family who are all waiting to witness my reaction. I wonder what they think of the relationship I have with Damon.

"Elena, go," Caroline whispers as she eyes the exit.

"What? I'm waiting for Stefan."

"I know you. You want to see him. Go now. It's your chance to say all the things you've been wanting to say since you presumed he was gone."

Who knew Caroline would make such an awesome voice of wisdom? I'm shocked by her selflessness. I give Caroline the biggest hug we've ever shared and then leisurely walk to Damon's room. I'm not going to run and make this more dramatic than it has to be. This is just me telling him how relieved and sorry I am.

Who the hell am I kidding? My pace hastens and pretty soon I'm running. Several nurses ask me to slow down and question to see if I'm alright. No, I'm not alright. I won't be alright until I see his eyes open. I reach the fourth room on the left and slowly walk inside. He's asleep, from what I can see. His eyes are closed but his chest gradually moves up and down. Watching him breathe in and out is the most beautiful sight I've witnessed in days. Just hours ago I held his body, devoid of air.

Still shaking, I sit on the chair beside his bed. It may seem selfish, but I want to be the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes. I was his last sight, after all.

Stefan's still down the hall discussing Damon's options with the doctors, as well as filing some phony police report. He decides not to condemn Rick for his actions. Rick's grief-stricken and out of his wits. Between losing Isobel and Jenna's predicament, he has no idea what he's doing. We can't blame him for that. We all go a little mad with grief at times. Damon's alive and that's all that matters in the world.

A few hours pass. Stefan leaves to get some decent coffee for the two of us. I remain by Damon's side, refusing to leave him. Eventually, his eyes flutter open.

"Elena?"

I beam from ear to ear. He's alive. He's here. And he's saying my name. I love the way he says my name.

"Hi, Damon."

"What the hell happened?" he groans.

"You were shot. Twice, actually."

"Ah, that's right. Rick."

I nod soberly. Poor Rick. He'll never get over what he's done. Not to mention he still believes Damon is dead.

"He left town," I add.

Damon frowns and suddenly shows extreme sympathy.

"I'm sorry. I know how much he meant to you."

"Are you apologizing for getting shot? You're insane. I would've killed you if your last words to me were that apology."

Okay, that didn't make much sense, but I cannot believe he spent his dying hour apologizing for not being "who I wanted him to be." I love everything about this man. He's so much more than meets the eye. I want him to know that. It's best to tell him now because life can be cut short on whim.

"Damon, there's so much I meant to say that I didn't get the chance to."

"Well, I'm here now. You don't have to worry. We've got years to talk."

I grin. How can he be so optimistic after almost dying? I really do think it's important to tell him everything now, though: how much I care about him, all the things I love about him, and possibly the feelings I've been having. Should I really bring _those_ up, though? It's never going to amount to anything. It can't. I won't be Katherine, no matter how intense our relationship becomes.

"You said some things about not being the person I wanted you to be…"

"Elena, it's me. I was dying and being melodramatic."

"But I don't want you to feel that way. You have no idea how much I care about you and how much I appreciate everything that you are. You've been exactly what I've needed for so long."

Whoa, Elena. You're really intensifying a friendly conversation. Damon is a bit startled by my statement. He gives me a skeptical look.

"That's surprising."

"So many times you've told me 'I'm not Stefan,' but can't you see I don't need you to be Stefan? That's what Stefan is for. Maybe the fact that you're not your brother is exactly why I find you so fascinating."

I'm really pushing it here. Why can't I just tell him that I like him? The way I'm talking, you'd think I loved the guy. But no, it's too soon to develop feelings that strong.

"Well, I'm glad I could help shake things up lately. I'm sure my return has been more than enough drama for you and Stefan. I'm glad you two survived the Katpocalypse."

Oh, I'd almost forgotten. We didn't. Stefan broke up with me and I completely forgot in the chaos of Damon's almost-death.

"Yeah, well… we didn't actually."

"What?" he questions with a tone of surprise.

"We broke up yesterday," I say regretfully.

"I'd say I'm sorry but that wouldn't be completely honest of me."

We're dancing near that line again. Why'd I come in here? Stefan should've been the first to see him awake. I should be supporting Stefan.

But why? We're not together. Aren't I free to do as I please? It's still not ethical, though. It'd hurt him. I know it would.

You know what? It's time to take a risk. I need to take a chance. These feelings almost didn't make it out in time before. I need to be completely honest. That's how this relationship works. Here I go.

"Damon, I really should've told you some things before last night. There was too much to say while I was trying to save your life and I couldn't get them all out. I need to talk to you about how I—"

Stefan interrupts just as I'm about to bare my soul.

"You're awake," Stefan announces with a grin.

"Is that a smile? Did someone buy new hair gel or save a puppy?"

"It's good to see you too, brother," Stefan replies.

Stefan approaches Damon and tears begin to swell in his eyes.

"Alright before you go throwing out apologies, I need to stop you. It's not your fault. It's not her fault. Let's just call it all even and move on, okay?" Damon suggests.

"But, Damon, I—"

"No. Stefan, I got myself into this mess. It's all over now. We're good."

Stefan nods and turns to me. I smile back. Everything's good. This is all I've wanted for so long: all of us getting along and sharing in each other's happiness. Why am I not happy, then? It's probably because I'm so torn between the two of them. Do I really have _those_ kinds of feelings for Damon? If I do, it's going to ruin Stefan. But didn't he set me free so I can explore my feelings?

"You know, you could make it up to me by finding me some bacon and possibly some pancakes?" Damon requests.

"You've got it," Stefan responds as he leaves the room.

"I didn't really want bacon," Damon whispers behind his hand.

I roll my eyes. Clearly he was enjoying our conversation. Where do I go from here, though?

"You were saying?"

"Never mind. It was nothing."

"Elena, we were finally getting somewhere instead of talking in circles."

"Once things like this are said, we can't go back. I don't want to screw this up."

Damon stares intently into my eyes. I'm transfixed by his arctic blue gaze. How can I not fall head over heels simply by looking at the man?

"You know I have feelings for you. Now that I've got a second chance at life, I'm not going to take them lightly."

Though I've known this for quite some time, hearing him admit his feelings out loud is a whole new experience. My whole body shivers as the realization takes over. I tried to deem our friendship appropriate, but the presence of these feelings proves that to be false. Can I just blurt out how much I think about him when he's not around, how his eyes have the power to make me melt into a puddle, or any of the other incredible feelings I experience in his company? I could, but I won't. Damon's recovery shouldn't only be about healing his wounds, but healing his relationship with his brother. They're family. That matters more than my silly feelings. If I truly care about either of the Salvatores, then I'll do right by them.

"I know. But I think, out of respect for your brother, you should hold off for a while. I think you care about his feelings and wouldn't want to hurt him."

"I think when it comes to women all bets are off between Stefan and I."

"I'm not Katherine."

"Isn't that the biggest understatement of the century."

"I'm not going to flip flop between the two of you. We have a great friendship, Damon."

"Don't sit there and tell me you don't feel the electricity when we're in a room together," He becomes agitated.

Of course I do, I feel it right now. I readjust my position of seating, clearly uncomfortable. Damon reaches out his hand and takes hold of mine—just like he did the night before while taking what I thought was his final breath.

"Once I'm back on my feet you won't be able to resist me," he remarks comically.

Oh, Damon. You have no idea how right you are.

God, Elena. Why are you still resisting? There's nothing holding you back. Everything is right in the world. Why can't I try to be happy just this once?

"We're not going to try and sort all this out in a hospital room. Let's get you recovered and then we'll talk."

"If you think that's best. You never know what could happen between now and then, though," Damon mocks and rolls to his side, playing dead.

I playfully punch his shoulder and giggle.

"Ow!" He shouts.

"Oh my god, Damon, I'm so sorry!" I apologize as I try to correct my mistake.

Damon begins chuckling like a fool.

"You're making this too easy," he laughs.

"I think I need to go home and get some sleep. Clearly you don't need me here," I sarcastically reply.

"No, don't. Stay," Damon says as he reaches for my hand.

Every nerve in my body is sending lightning fast signals to my brain telling me to sit back down in that chair, yet my head tells me to go home. Listening to my head has gotten me nowhere, though. While he is cracking jokes, he may really need someone here. Just as I decide to sit back down, Stefan reenters with a tray full of pancakes and bacon. Damon is still holding my hand. We both turn to identify the intrusion.

"I've got your breakfast."

With this, Stefan looks down and to the side, understanding that the encounter between Damon and I is more than friendly.

"I was just leaving," I pronounce.

"Are you sure about that?" Stefan asks soberly.

What's truly unfair is that nothing has happened between Damon and I. Yet, Stefan seems to think otherwise. I want to tell him this, but I suppose it's better to leave this topic untouched. Maybe it's best if I stay away from Damon for a while. I want the two of them to take this time to bond rather than fight over me. I've fantasized about just taking what I want, but that's not who I am. I've got to be selfless. This time is about brotherhood, not forbidden romance. I'll let them be.

* * *

The Briarview sky is a dark shade of blue as the evening gray clouds roll in. Not a star can be seen on this chilly autumn eve. I've just returned home from the hospital. What a weekend it's been. My whole world has been turned upside down. It's strange to think that just two nights ago I was sitting at dinner with all my friends and family watching Damon and Caroline whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears. The thought still repulses me.

It's strange to be sitting here in the home I grew up in. Returning to Salvatore Manor wouldn't have been a wise choice. Who knows where Katherine and Rick are? I'm not putting myself in danger. But most importantly, I need to be with Jeremy tonight. I've got to explain the Rick situation before he loses his mind. Jeremy can't mentally deal with losing the only father figure he's known for years. I sit by the fireplace mulling over what to tell my sweet little brother. How do I tell him that he's been abandoned?

I hear Jeremy's footsteps coming from the stairs and instantly turn around.

"You're back. How's Damon?" He sincerely asks.

"He's awake. He's good, Jer," I say with a huge grin.

"That's good."

"The fact that you came tonight means the world to me. "

"I'm always going to be there for you, Elena, even if it requires tolerating Stefan."

I signal for him to take a seat beside me. You never forget moments like this. It's not as if Rick died, but he'll most likely never be back. Jeremy's whole world is about to be thrown for a loop.

"I need to tell you about what happened last night."

He nods, allowing me to continue.

"Do you remember Rick telling us about his first marriage? And how his wife died?"

"Yes?"

"His wife was murdered, actually."

"What? That's insane. Poor Rick. Why wouldn't he tell me about this?"

"That's because he thought Damon was the killer."

Jeremy's expression disappears. He suddenly becomes emotionless and stoic.

"What the hell, Elena?"

"He didn't do it, Jeremy. Rick knows that now. It was Katherine. Did you ever meet Katherine?"

"Actually I did once. She was just here the other night. Can you explain this further because I suddenly have the urge to go finish what Damon's attacker started!"

"Jeremy! It wasn't him! It was Katherine. She tricked Rick into thinking Damon killed Isobel, his wife, so she could protect herself. Rick lost it. He's been so torn up about this for so long that he decided he had to kill Damon."

"Stop. Elena, no. Rick would never do that. He's not like that. Damon must've attacked him first. It's something he would do."

"It's not, Jer. Rick and Katherine planned this long ago. And Rick found out the truth after he attacked Damon. He went to Stefan after it happened. He gave him the gun and told him everything. I wouldn't make this up."

Jeremy shakes his head profusely and his eye's start to shine with the pools of tears collecting inside.

"Why are you telling me this? Did I really need to know all this?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I don't want you to have to suffer anymore, Jer. That's the last thing I want. But you need to know why Rick left."

"He's gone?" His jaw drops and his fists unclench.

"He's shocked by what he did. He thinks he killed Damon."

"Well we have to tell him he didn't! Elena, we have to find him."

"We can't, Jer. Who knows what the police are going to figure out. He could be in huge trouble with the law. Not to mention, he needs time to himself to get over this. Him being here wouldn't be good for anyone."

"Screw you, Elena. This is all your fault: you and those fucking Salvatores. You ruin everything. Why don't you just leave? No, better yet, I'll leave. I'm going to find the only living family I have," Jeremy shouts as he heads for the door.

"Jeremy, please! I'm so sorry. Don't go," I plead.

But it's too late. Jeremy slams the door as I utter my last syllable. How could I have prevented this? Isobel was killed before Rick even knew Jeremy and I. He would've done this either way. How can Jeremy blame me for this?

Hours pass as I sit near the fire with a hot cup of Earl Gray. Jeremy's hurt. He'll come around, hopefully. Storm clouds are circling the town outside. Gusts of wind softly crash against the window panes. I despise tempestuous weather, especially when I'm on my own. I really could use a few hours of sleep. The past few days have been utterly exhausting. I don't even bother to change my clothes. With a blanket in hand, I plop myself down on my old bed and drift right to sleep.

A ring of the telephone causes me to rouse from my slumber. I fumble for the phone on the nightstand.

"Hello?" I groan.

The voice on the other end identifies herself as a nurse at Briarview Community Hospital.

"That's impossible," I respond.

"But….no. That can't be true. How?"

And just like that, another light in my life is extinguished. I fear I'm about to lose my sanity.


	34. Severed Ties

"So, you and Elena seemed to be having a serious talk before I got back."

"Are we really going to do this?" Damon asks.

"We're not doing anything. I'm just asking."

The scene I came upon was not what I expected to find. Obviously Damon's almost-death affected Elena in a way I never thought possible. She was totally and utterly distraught. I felt as if I had to keep her from falling apart. This is my brother, after all. But would him almost dying automatically make us 'brothers?' We haven't had a real conversation in years. There's nothing we even like about each other. These pleasantries we're exchanging during his recovery are nice but they're phony.

She was holding his hand. He was holding her hand. I'm not sure which action is more disturbing. Why the hell did I listen to Katherine? She was looking out for her own interests. I shouldn't have broken up with Elena. How am I ever going to win her back? The way she looked at Damon as she held his hand is etched into my memory. She was smiling—really smiling.

"We were just talking, Stefan. Cool your jets."

"I know you love her."

Damon's blank expression says everything.

"You don't have to respond."

"I wasn't planning to."

I place my head between my hands and lean forward. I just need time to think.

"Believe it or not, what you walked in on was nothing. I asked her to stay, that's all. Nothing's happened."

But he isn't finished.

"Yet."

"Why'd you have to go and develop feelings for Elena? Why Elena?"

"The fact that you'd have to ask that shows how well you know and appreciate her."

I stand angrily. Now I'm irritated.

"How dare you imply that I don't appreciate her. Every day I worry about losing her. I'm doing everything in my power to salvage what we have."

"Breaking up with someone is your way of keeping them around? Aren't you supposed to be the smart brother?"

I'll give him that one.

"It was Katherine's advice. She said Elena would see that I'm not a sap she can push around. It'd give her time to get some things out of her system and then she'd come back," I admit.

"Wow, you really are stupid."

"I'm not the one who let her bring me to an abandoned marina shed."

"Touché, brother."

Our impossibly awkward conversation is interrupted by Caroline's hastening footsteps in the hall.

"Oh God," I hear her breathe softly.

Damon nods in the direction of the door, telling me to find out what's going on.

"Is everything alright?" I ask her.

"You're going to need to go be with Elena right now. Something's happened."

Suddenly all my anger and frustration over the 'Damon/Elena situation' fades away. I start dashing down the hall to find Elena. She's sitting on a couch filling out paperwork and talking with one of the doctors.

As I approach, the doctor stands up to leave. I replace his spot next to Elena. She's filling out a release form for corpses. Wet spots where tears fell are easily visible in several spots on the page.

"Elena…"

"Jenna's gone. Of all the nights in the world, she's gone."

Jenna's been in a coma for about a year now, but I thought she'd been doing okay recently. Apparently, I was mistaken.

"Jeremy didn't tell me. He didn't tell me how bad her condition was. Why wouldn't he tell me, Stefan?"

"Maybe he didn't want to hurt you."

"No, he didn't think I deserved to know. He hates me. And now Jenna probably hates me! I was supposed to be here visiting her today, Stefan. I was supposed to see her."

For some time, I say nothing. Even telling her it's not her fault would be pointless. She's consumed by her own grief.

"It's not your fault. Listen to me, this is not your fault," I say sternly while facing her directly.

"Do you know what I did while I waited for you to get here last night? I prayed. I prayed for an hour. I promised I'd do anything if Damon could be spared. Do you realize what I've done? I exchanged Jenna's life for his. This _is_ my fault."

Now I can see why she blames herself, but that's not how people live and die. She's out of touch with reality between the events of the past two days. How am I supposed to get through to her?

"That's not how it works, Elena. You said it yourself. Jenna's condition has been worsening for weeks."

"I don't want to talk about this right now. I've got so much to do. I need to find Jeremy…Way too much to do…" She mumbles and stands.

Elena looks back at me, shakes her head, and walks away.

How am I supposed to help her? We go through this routine of constantly losing people we love. Somehow, we make it through. But I don't think I'm enough this time. Jenna's death is going to shake the foundation of Briarview. And what happens when Alaric inevitably returns and learns the news? He's already got nothing to live for. Everything is shattering in front of me, and this time I don't know how to piece it back together.

I return to Damon's room and sit quietly.

"So?"

"Jenna's dead."

Damon's icy stare suddenly turns cold and dark. Is that sympathy I sense in my brother's eyes? Abruptly, he attempts to rise from his bed.

"Hey, stop. You can't get up," I caution.

"Watch me," he snarls.

"What do you think you're doing? It's barely been a day. Your skin isn't even together yet."

"I'm going to see Elena."

"I don't think that's your call to make," I respond as I help him back into his bed.

"Do you not understand that she held me until I stopped breathing? She was there for me until my last breath. Do you think I'm not going to try and do the same? Someone's got to be there for her."

"Then that'll be me. Sit down, unless you want to rip open your stitches and kill yourself in the process. I don't think Elena needs that right now either."

So maybe I'm being unfair. I could somehow manage to get Damon over to Elena, but first of all, that'd be extremely difficult with the size of his bed. Second, this is the perfect opportunity to mend our relationship. I'm the one who's known Elena and has been with her every step of the way with this Jenna situation. What can Damon do that I can't? I love Elena. That's all the help I need in seeing her through this. It's not in my nature to be so selfish, but when you love someone sometimes you have to be a little selfish.

"I'm gonna go see how she's doing," I say as I exit.

Damon's going to be pissed, but I can handle it. Elena needs me right now. She needs someone, at least. I want to be that someone.

As I approach Jenna's former room where Elena is seated, I see Matt beside her. Of course. He would swoop in during this time of tragedy to make up for what he couldn't do the last time. Matt has always disliked me, and since discovering this, I haven't been too fond of him.

I knock gently on the door and then enter.

"We're kind of in the middle of something," Matt snares.

"It's fine. Come in," Elena interjects.

"Is there anything I can do?" I ask.

"The best thing you can do is just let me grieve. Let me get over this."

"That's why I'm here. I want to help. We'll get through it together like we always do."

"It's different this time, Stefan. I just want to be alone. That's all I want," Elena states resolutely.

Why is she shutting me out?

"Elena, don't push me away. I know you're hurting, but I'm here for you."

"I can't be dependent on someone else. I can't just fall apart again. Stefan, thank you for being so kind, but I need to work through this on my own. I'll call you when I'm ready," she utters softly.

Matt takes this hint as well and exits the room leisurely.

"Are you sure about this?" I inquire.

"No, but I know it's what's best for me."

I head towards the door.

"Goodnight, Elena."

"Goodnight, Stefan."

* * *

The next few days are a blur. I stay at the hospital and Elena returns home. I've called her a few times but she hasn't responded. All of my information regarding Elena is being passed along by Bonnie. She says Jeremy is still missing and Elena is at her wits end. All I want to do is save her. I want to take away her suffering, but she won't let me. I'm stuck here with my brother. We're both hating ourselves for not being able to do a thing.

The funeral's today. Bonnie stops by dressed from head to toe in all black. Though it seemed that Jenna was already gone these past few months, the day hits everyone hard. Even Bonnie, the strongest person I know, shows strong emotion during her visit.

"I don't have any good news, so I'm not sure what you want me to tell you."

"Is Jeremy back yet?"

She regretfully shakes her head. I'm sure she's worried out of her mind. Bonnie loves Jeremy, even though he doesn't always treat her well. Their relationship is complicated. But hell, whose isn't?

"Is there anything I can do?"

"There's nothing anyone can do. None of us can get through to her. She's terrified of what's happened to Jeremy. Between both him and Rick being gone, she's just fallen to pieces. But she insists on doing all of this on her own. She just keeps telling me that 'it can't be like last time.'"

Elena needs to stop trying to be strong. I know she's strong. She doesn't need to prove it to anyone. I want to help her. Why can't she just let me? Doing nothing is slowly killing me.

"I'm glad to see you're dressed, though. She needs you there today," Bonnie adds.

"I figured today was an exception to the 'stay away' rule."

"Are you ready to leave? You can ride with me if you'd like," she offers.

"Yeah, could you give me a few minutes to check in on Damon?"

She agrees, and I quickly stop by Damon's room.

"I'm going now. Is there anything you need?"

"I'd like permission to _leave_."

"I'll send along your condolences."

I mean this sincerely. This is not one of those times that I'm trying to prevent him from seeing Elena. She needs all of us there today: even Damon. But he's under strict orders to stay in bed.

"Tell her I would do anything to be there today, but my brother won't comply with my wishes."

I nod and retreat. The exit doors feel as heavy as mountains. I can barely move forward today. It's one of those sluggish, morose Thursdays. Bonnie opens the car door for me as I take a seat inside.

"Bonnie, I don't want to accuse you of lying, but has Jeremy contacted you at all?"

She laughs.

"If he had, don't you think I would be less of a wreck right now?"

"I'm sorry."

"Me too, Stefan. I'm going to play the role of the understanding girlfriend, though."

"Do you think he knows about Jenna?"

"Probably. I left him about a hundred messages about a 'family emergency' concerning Jenna. I didn't want to push him farther away, though, so I didn't use those exact words."

This is such a mess. Time can't pass quick enough. I need to see her. The car eventually pulls into the round entranceway of the funeral parlor. I attended the wake last night, but Elena was out getting food. I hope she knows I was there. She needs to know I'm here.

Bonnie and I share an umbrella as we traverse the rainy path into the building. What an awful site awaiting us. Elena stands near the chaplain, all alone. How could I not think of this? She has no other family. There's no one to ride in the hearse with her and no one to hold her hand during the procession. She's utterly alone. But then I look to my left and see the most supportive group of people I've ever known. Matt, Caroline, and their friend Tyler Lockwood stand huddled together, while Meredith Fell, Jenna and Damon's doctor, pays her respects to Elena and joins the others. Half of the town is present for the service. Briarview is a tight-knit community. Jenna was one of their own. However, having the community present doesn't make up for the lack of family by Elena's side.

Cautiously, I approach Elena, but then I realize: I have no idea what to say to her. She's heard enough "sorry's" to last her a lifetime. Words can't express what I want to say. Without thinking, I stand straight beside her and grab this stoic woman's hand. She's a shell of the girl who lived in my home just a week ago. I can see she's about to break down, so I grip tighter. Words will not suffice, so I must show her physically that I am here with her.

Elena turns to me, winces to hold back her tears, and feigns a tiny smile. I nod back. We're going to pull through this, Elena. We always do.

The procession begins. Elena and I climb into the hearse in silence. The car starts and begins to move forward.

"Thank you for coming," Elena says in a tone of exhaustion.

I wonder how many times she's said that already. I still can't think of any words to say. Suddenly, I let out something unexpected.

"Damon wanted to be here."

She cocks her head and almost grins, still looking completely distraught.

"Really," she says in a half-interested way.

"I almost had to fight him to get him back in his bed."

"That's thoughtful of him," she curtly responds.

How do I break through to her? It's like she's not inside this body that resembles the former Elena Gilbert.

"Elena, you're being so strong. You're really holding your own, and we're all so proud of you. We know you can make it through this on your own, but in times of crisis everyone needs some kind of support system. You've got to let us in."

Elena becomes extremely agitated and almost stands in the car. She scoots closer to me and looks at me with severe contempt.

"That's what families are for. If you haven't noticed, I don't have one."

My foot is immediately inserted into my mouth. There's so much pain in her face. How is she ever going to survive this? She needs Jeremy and Rick. Or even just having Jeremy here could soothe her. That's my mission. I'm going to find him. How could be he so unfeeling as to leave Elena alone at the funeral of their dead guardian?

The car stops abruptly and the casket is unloaded. I step out first and offer Elena my hand as she follows. My arm is instantly draped over her shoulder. I'm going to hold her together even if she refuses to let me.

We walk behind the casket. In front of us, Matt, Tyler, Tyler's uncle Mason (a former schoolmate of Jenna's), Logan (a former flame of Jenna's), Mayor Lockwood, and another local I don't recognize carry the ornately decorated coffin. Logan and the local were clearly last minute replacements. The two men carrying the front of Jenna's eternal bed should've been Jeremy and Alaric.

I scan the horizon. Hoards of people are stretched across the landscape of the burial site. Now I'd say more than half of the town is here to witness another catastrophic moment in the Gilbert family tragedy. Near a willow at the back of the event, I see a young man attempting to keep his composure. He's not dressed to fit the occasion in the slightest, yet something about him characterizes him as having the deepest sympathies for the scene. I attempt to look closer, only to see a familiar visage. Jeremy? I need to get a closer look, but I can't leave Elena's side. That'd look quite suspicious, and I don't want to cause a scene. I use my eyes to call Bonnie to Elena's side.

"I need to check on something. I will be right back. I promise," I tell Elena.

Yet, she barely notices my departure. She stares forward stoically. I leisurely stroll to the back of the group towards the willow. Jeremy sees me approaching and he hastens his departure. Naturally, I begin to run after him. I chase the young man down a winding path in the graveyard until eventually I lunge at him. Jeremy and I tumble to the ground. I get a bit banged up from the stones on the ground.

"What the hell are you thinking?" I ask him.

"I don't have to do this right now," Jeremy rebuffs as he attempts to stand.

"Your sister is standing there _alone_. How could you do that to her?"

"How could she drive Alaric away?"

"That wasn't her fault. Even if it was, haven't you done enough? You let her go on thinking Jenna was fine, and then you up and left. The second you found out Jenna wasn't okay, you should've come right back."

"Finding a living relative was more important. It still is."

"You have one. She's standing over there trying to hold herself together. You're the only one who can be there for her right now. She won't let any of us in," I shout, but not loud enough where the congregation will overhear.

Jeremy turns and begins walking away until I grab his shoulder and turn him around.

"Hey, you go over there and you stand by your sister. I don't care if you're wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. You go say goodbye to your aunt. You owe them both that much."

Jeremy bites his lip and shakes his head.

"Screw you, man."

"Alright. Let your sister crumble to pieces. Let Bonnie grow to hate you for abandoning everyone. How's that going to work out for you? You'll be all alone."

"I already am all alone!"

"No, you're not. You're doing exactly what your sister is doing. You're pushing all these people away. Can't you see that everyone who's here today is here for you and Elena? All of these people care about you."

"They pretend to care. You don't get it. I'm done with the phony sympathy this town gives me every time I get fucked over. They care for a day. They don't get what it does to my life in a long-term sense. Rick understands how I feel right now. I need to talk to him."

"Jeremy, I'm going to make you a promise right now. I'm going to find Alaric. Hell, I will leave right now, and I will search high and low—everywhere—to find him for you if you go stand by your sister and don't leave her side. I promise you. You can hate go on hating me. This isn't an attempt to win you over, but I will do this for you if you do me this one favor and you go to your sister," I plead with him.

Jeremy mulls the idea over for a few minutes, trying not to let his emotions show.

"Fine. Leave, now."

At the time, I was willing to say anything to get him to go stand by Elena. But now that he wants me to actually leave her, I don't think I can do it. How can I abandon her when I promised I'd be back? This is one of the hardest days of her life, and I'm about to leave.

"If you're not going to go, then I am," Jeremy snares as he turns.

"No, I'll go."

We both turn and go our separate ways. I try to catch one last glimpse of the woman I love before leaving. How am I supposed to explain what I'm doing? I'm not sure, but it's what's best for her—no matter how much it'll hurt. Even worse, what's Damon going to think? I've left him in the hospital with no one. He already hates me, though. How much more damage can I actually do? My steps slow down as I consider my options for this search.

So, where does one begin looking for an almost-murderer on the run?

* * *

**Thank you for all the kind reviews and follows. I love hearing what people are thinking about the story. Also, I'm trying to update frequently because I've had the next few written for a while. Thanks for your support!**

**xoxo Liz**


	35. Departures

A blaring light breaks into my deep slumber.

"Agh," I groan.

"It's time for your pills Mr. Salvatore," an unfamiliar nurse tells me.

"Where's Meredith?"

"_Doctor Fell_," she corrects, "Is at the funeral for that Jenna Sommers. Poor thing."

I'd almost forgotten that today was the day of the funeral. It seems as though I'd fallen asleep after Stefan's departure and the duration of said slumber seems to have been days, even though it's only been a few hours.

I swallow my pills with a big gulp of tap water. Someone needs to break me out of here. I think I'm going crazy. The only things keeping me sane are my constant thoughts about her: Elena Gilbert. Where is she now? What is she thinking? How can I help her while being stuck in this hellhole? She hasn't visited me, but that's understandable. These past few days were probably filled with funeral planning. God, I'd give anything to be there for her right now. Of course Stefan's playing the role of the perfect gentleman. He's probably walking through the procession by her side, trying to fill in as the family she lacks.

Though this probably isn't the smartest idea, I text Caroline Forbes to see how the event is progressing.

**How's Elena?**

She responds a few minutes later.

**Damon? Are you really texting me rn?**

Her teenage text language is just as nauseating as the conversations we exchanged during our play-relationship.

**I don't have anyone else's number besides Stefan &I want to know how she is. **

I give her ten minutes to respond. I'm about ready to call her or the funeral parlor because I'm at my wit's end.

**She's a mess. Nothing helps. **

I refrain from responding as I ponder Caroline's words. If only I wasn't stuck in this room. If anyone knows a thing about loss, it's me. There's got to be something I can do.S uddenly, my phone buzzes with a text from Caroline.

**Jeremy mysteriously showed up? She's showing emotion so that's good.**

**I shouldn't be texting at a funeral. Bye. **

Thank God for tactless Caroline. Jeremy came back. So the kid does have a spine. I'm impressed. I see the surly nurse walk down the hall to take her lunch break. Speaking of breaks, this could be the perfect opportunity for a break out. A large portion of the hospital staff was close with Jenna during her time at BCH so they're off today for the funeral. Who would notice if I took a brief respite from my stay?

Stealthily, I attempt to stand from my bed—then I hit the floor hard.

"Damnit," I yell loudly.

I cover my mouth and use the arm of a chair to help myself stand. Somehow, I manage to limp my way to the exit. My ribs are still extremely sore. Recovering from my wounds is going to take about a month or more according to Meredith. They better let me out before then or I'm going to go insane.

Well, from the looks of me right now, limping down the streets of Briarview in a hospital gown, I might already be insane. I try to hitchhike but I wouldn't even dare pick me up. I look like a madman. My home is quite far from the hospital and there's no way I'm going to this funeral in a hospital gown with an open back. Though I'm sure the ladies of Briarview wouldn't refuse to see my toned behind, a funeral isn't the proper setting for such a viewing.

That's it. The next car that comes down this street will not move an inch until they let me inside. I stand in the middle of the road and a black SUV comes into view. It stops within inches of my body. That was close. I wave at the driver to unlock the door. The famous Briarview luck has struck me again. Look who happens to be the driver.

"Well if it isn't the Lumberjack Lunatic. Decided to return to the scene of the crime?"

Alaric is stunned. He seems to be trying to form words, but can't.

"I'm not a ghost, Rick. You didn't kill me."

"But…I…I shot you twice."

"I'm a fighter. I need you to drive me to my house."

He still wears the skeptical expression and does not move.

"Rick, I need to get to that funeral and so do you. If you'd like to make up for almost murdering me at a marina, you should drive me to my damn house!"

Instantaneously, he presses down on the gas and heads straight to my home.

"Stay outside while I change. I'll need a ride to the cemetery."

I'm shocked to see Rick step out of the vehicle and help me into the house. He walks me up the stairs and waits as I change into a suit. Hunched over, I examine myself in the mirror. The purple bags under my eyes and my hunched over posture aren't so alluring, but man do I look good in a suit. Once again, Rick aids me in my journey down the stairs and back to the car.

On the way over, he eventually begins to speak.

"How?"

"The miracles of surgery. And I'm sure the compassion of Elena Gilbert didn't hurt."

He sighs with relief and nods his head.

"Are they looking for me?"

"Who? The police? No, not that I know of. We said it was a random attacker. Stefan faked some story about a drug deal we witnessed. You should be fine."

He nods and continues.

"I didn't mean the police, you know."

"Oh, the Gilbert clan. Jeremy abandoned Elena to go find you. Apparently he just showed up at the service, though. They don't hate you, if that's what you're wondering."

"They should."

"Listen, if someone did what Katherine did to the person I love, I'd probably go just as mad. I don't hold you accountable for your actions. Love makes men crazy. I'm a prime example."

"That's why I can't come back here now. Everyone just writes it off because of my grief. I did a horrible thing. I should pay for it."

I make him stop the car.

"Listen, I'm alive. Those kids need you. Jenna would want you to go take care of them. I'm not pissed, they're not pissed, let's all move on. Now keep driving."

Rick starts the car again. We near the cemetery and Rick stops the car.

"Are you coming?" I ask him.

"I don't think I can. I'll watch from here. Give me some time, Damon."

"Suit yourself," I reply while I limp, hunched over, across the field towards the service.

Alaric calls my name and I turn.

"I'm sorry," he says briefly.

I nod and return to my mission. I've got to somehow stand up straight. 'This' doesn't look as captivating when my head is near my knees. I try my best to stand up straight, though it's killing me. My chest throbs and feels like it's tearing. God, this was a bad idea.

The setting is somber. Rain is gently dropping onto the umbrellas of around one hundred distraught citizens. The clouds are clearing, but the gloom is ever-present. I survey the scene. Thankfully, Elena is leaning against her brother, Jeremy, with Bonnie and all other friends safely behind them. It doesn't seem like she really needs me there. I thought she'd want me here, but maybe not. Stefan's missing, though. He wouldn't leave Elena for anything. Where would he have gone?

As I continue gazing upon the somber scene, Elena turns and her gaze catches mine. We stay interlocked in a powerful stare. I fixate on her expression. Clearly, I'm the last person she expected to see today. Today is just full of surprises, isn't it? I continue my awkward limp toward the crowd. Elena doesn't make her way towards me, though. I wouldn't expect her to. Today's about her family. I'm just here to support her in any way she needs me to. The service comes to a close. The loving friends and family begin the procession of placing roses atop the casket as it is lowered into the ground. Eventually, I make my way to the front and slowly set my rose in the center of the box. I didn't know Jenna, but she's a piece of Elena: a piece she'll never get back. It's like we're burying another parcel of her innocence. The scene really is tragic.

As I follow the others to the back of the crowd, a hand grabs mine. I turn and face Elena.

"Thank you," she mouths.

Instead of continuing to the back, I remain standing beside her. I'm not sure if it's appropriate for me to be standing with her family, but this whole situation is far from normal. Nothing about burying their last living guardian is appropriate in itself. The service officially ends and we all retreat to our cars. Oh, I just remembered. My ride has probably fled the scene by now. I continue following Elena until I somehow have to hobble back to the hospital.

The taciturn beauty suddenly turns back to me.

"How'd you get here? Aren't you on bed rest?"

"You know I'm not one for following the rules."

"Damon, you just underwent major surgery. You shouldn't have done this."

"I think I owed you one."

We reach the hearse and Jeremy steps inside. Elena lingers a moment and motions for me to follow her brother.

"Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't want anyone besides you two by my side today," she says with a slight grin.

This warms my heart like nothing has before. This pure and honest friendship between us is something new and exhilarating for me. I've never had someone be so openly caring and affectionate towards me. I'll follow Elena Gilbert to the ends of the earth. She makes me a better person. Just coming here today is proof of that.

The hearse slowly inches up the hill, down said hill, and towards the hall in which Jenna's luncheon will be hosted.

"So, I'm surprised Stefan's not here."

"He left," she mentions gravely.

"That's strange. Doesn't sound like Stefan."

"He promised he'd be back. I don't know. Then Jeremy showed up and nothing else mattered," she adds with a smile.

"He's gone," Jeremy remarks.

"We made a deal," he finishes.

What kind of deal would Stefan make with Jeremy Gilbert?

"Which is?" I question.

"We traded places. He offered me a deal. If I stood by my sister today, he'd go find Rick. He's off looking for him now."

Shit. I wonder how far he's already gotten.

"So he's wandering around town trying to find the history professor?" I mock.

"I texted him all of the leads I've found in the past few days. Some of them go as far as Ohio."

"Do you really think Rick could've made it all the way to the Midwest already?" Elena asks.

I sure as hell don't. That's probably because I was just sitting in his van almost 20 minutes ago . I send Stefan a quick text.

**Hey Steve.**

This isn't really the time for comedy, but I'm going to make that an inside joke now that we're "brothers" again.

**Where are you?**

I wait several minutes until my phone buzzes.

**About to board flight. Text you when plane lands.**

Shit, this is typical of my luck. As quickly as I can, I dial Stefan's number and wait through the numerous rings until it goes to voicemail. Damn you, Stefan. You never answer your phone when it's important. I call once more and it goes straight to voicemail. His phone is off, and he is on a plane, while Rick sits idly by the cemetery. The real question is, should I tell these two heartbroken children that their only parental figure is actually closer than they think? It seems as though Rick wants to keep his presence a secret. Do I even owe him my secrecy? Hell no. But I don't want to get their hopes up either. Dilemmas.

"We'll need to make a stop at Briarview Community," Elena tells the driver.

"Really?"

"Yes, Damon. You've got to take some time and heal. We all do, actually."

I feel as if I won't see her after today. She's still in deep pain even with Jeremy's reappearance.

Elena wraps my arm around her and attempts to help me back indoors. We hobble down the halls and eventually Jeremy catches up with us. He takes my other arm and drapes it around his shoulders. Jeremy Gilbert is helping me walk to my hospital bed. Oh, how things have changed.

The Gilbert siblings help get me settled in my prison as I watch Elena's every move. I'm trying to memorize these last few moments before we take our respites to "heal."

"I'll meet you in the car," Jeremy tells her as he waves goodbye.

"Even though it was completely crazy, thank you for coming today."

"It was my pleasure. And my pain, but mostly my pleasure," I joke.

"I should probably be getting back to the service. Damon, I won't be here for a while. I'm taking a long break from everything and everyone. I just want to have some time with Jeremy and with myself. Too much has happened lately. I need to recover on my own, I guess."

"I understand," I nod.

Slowly, Elena approaches my bedside and leans in.

"Don't think that means I don't care about you, because I do. I'll see you soon," she whispers.

As the world stops spinning for this brief moment, Elena Gilbert leans in as close as she possibly can. I can feel her breath against my neck. The electricity returns. I've spent the whole day as far from lust as possible, trying to be the selfless knight who supports the fair maiden. Now, things are different. Being this close to her makes me want more.

Finally, she carefully places her lips on my cheek, leaves a small kiss, and returns to her morose demeanor. Elena exits the room just as quickly as she entered. All is back to its painfully boring and lonesome ways.

* * *

**I hope you're enjoying the story. I'm finally starting to catch up with posting all the chapters I have written so updates might be slow. Thanks for your continued support!**


	36. Onward Movements

**Book II**

* * *

The sun shines brightly through my off-white cloth curtains. I haven't seen the sun like this in weeks. It's been about a month since Jenna's death. Has anything really changed? No, not really. Jeremy and I are as sullen as we were after the death of our parents. However, this time we're sticking together. I refuse to leave him. We're finally working out our problems and learning to love each other all over again. Jeremy has so many redeemable qualities. Luckily, he's let Bonnie help him through this tough time. Though he doesn't always treat her like he should, Jeremy's opening up to her and facing his demons. This isn't the same little boy who shut out the world and turned to drugs to deal with the death of his young parents. I'm still struggling, though. I don't talk to anyone but Jeremy. Though I've exchanged brief words with Bonnie, Caroline, and Matt, I haven't had a full conversation since talking with Damon the day of the funeral. Ah, Damon. I'd almost forgotten about my forbidden desire who I left at BCH four weeks ago. This is the longest I've gone without seeing him. This also makes me think of Stefan. I haven't heard from or seen him since that same day. Jeremy relayed all the words exchanged between Stefan and him the day of the funeral. I'd assume Stefan's scouring the Midwest for any trace of Alaric. I'm so grateful to him for doing this for Jeremy and I. His dedication is admirable. Stefan's extreme devotion is one of his most endearing qualities. I still love Stefan. That hasn't changed. I wonder how this will all play out when he returns.

Instead of making breakfast, I choose to make a trip to the mailbox. I haven't eaten much the past few weeks. There's really no point. The stack of mail inside is enormous. We haven't made much time for household chores lately. Inside the stack sits four personal letters. Three are addressed from separate locations, but have the same sender: Stefan Salvatore. I should've expected this. Why is he writing me letters, though? Have we transported ourselves to old British literature?

The final letter is addressed to Jeremy but it lacks a sender's name. Before calling Jeremy down, I decide to read the letters from Stefan. What harm could it do? I begin with the earliest dated one.

_Dear Elena,_

_ I don't know where to begin. You're probably wondering why I left so abruptly the other afternoon. Or maybe you're not. Either way, I owe you an explanation. I was willing to do anything to get you the support you needed. Jeremy was hell-bent on finding Rick, so I offered to pick up his search. So, hopefully, Jeremy is with you right now giving you all the love and care you need at this time. I'm beginning my search today. Apparently Alaric has family in Cincinnati. So, here I am. I want you to know that I will do anything and go anywhere to find him for you. I want you to have the family you deserve. Though you deserve to have your parents and Jenna back, the most I can strive for is this. I'll bring Rick back for you and Jeremy. I promise you this. Even though my promises don't mean much, I'll do whatever has to be done to bring him home. I hope you're taking this time to build yourself up and get back to being the strong woman I know you are. Please know that no matter what we go through, I'll always love you, even if you don't feel the same. I believe in you, and I know you'll pull through this time._

_ Forever yours,_

_ Stefan_

Wow, that was quite the letter. I almost swoon—almost. More than anything, though, I want Stefan to come home. I appreciate all that he's doing but clearly Rick doesn't want to be found. Stefan shouldn't have to do all this for me. I'd love him regardless. The fact that he's also doing this for Jeremy is touching. Stefan's compassion knows no bounds. I'm surprised I haven't spent more time thinking about Stefan and Damon over the past few weeks. I've been very self-centered, I guess.

The other letters are relatively similar. He reiterates his undying love for me and his devotion to this search. It seems that there aren't many leads, unfortunately. I just wish I could tell Rick that Damon's alive. I'm not sure how to get a hold of him, though. As this thought slips my mind, I open Jeremy's letter to discern its sender. It's signed with the familiar giant "R" that I often found on notes around the house—whether it be grocery lists or reminders, this R was signature of Rick.

Jeremy and Bonnie waltz through the door giggling, wrapped up in each other's embrace. They're adorable. I want something like that. I want to share my pain and my joy with someone. I feel like all I've been doing the past few years is sharing my pain. That's part of the reason I'm shutting everyone out. They shouldn't have to be around brooding, depressed Elena. I want them to see me at my strongest and that's all.

"Elena, you look great," Bonnie lies.

She tries to make me feel better because she knows I'm going through hell. It's evident that I look like shit. My hair is thrown in a messy ponytail 24/7, while my daily ensemble consists of gray sweatpants and my father's old Princeton sweatshirt. My appearance means little to me these days. My mental state is more important.

"Thanks, Bonnie," I feign gratitude.

Jeremy and Bonnie head upstairs to escape the gloomy cloud that seems to follow me everywhere I go. Who could blame them? I'll give Jeremy Rick's letter once Bonnie leaves. He'll probably be upset with me for not giving it to him right away, but even if I did, he'd save it for later. Jeremy may be overcoming his sorrows by spending time with Bonnie, but he's still as angsty as ever.

The doorbell rings. I see the face of Matt Donovan through the glass. Matt's been so helpful recently. He's helped out with house maintenance, managing our finances, and he's even picked up groceries for me the past few weeks. Jeremy and I really couldn't ask for a better friend.

I unbolt the door and welcome the familiar face even though I'm not in the mood for visitors.

"Elena, looking radiant as ever," he seemingly jokes.

I can never tell if he's kidding. He seems to find me beautiful when I feel like a mess. He's sweet that way. My favorite part of seeing Matt is that he doesn't ask me if I'm doing okay or how I'm feeling. He knows I despise those questions.

Matt and I catch up on what's going on in town. I ask about Caroline and Tyler. Caroline's organizing the Founder's Ball this month, and Tyler's finally finding the time to hang out with Matt now that football is over. Tyler attends the University of Georgia. He lives on campus, so he's only in Briarview on the weekends, like Bonnie's former schedule. As it turns out, though the two are extremely busy, they seem to have developed a romantic relationship. Matt doesn't seem pleased, though.

"Is that a problem for you?" I sincerely ask.

"I don't know, Elena. Car and I have been getting closer for a while and I thought maybe it would turn into something more. I guess I was wrong."

My heart aches listening to Matt talk of another unrequited love. When will the fates deal him a decent hand?

"Caroline is fickle. She's going to jump from point A to point B on mere caprice. If she isn't committed to you, then you deserve better. Matt, you deserve the best."

"Thanks, but I'm not too sure that's true."

"It is. All I want for you is to be able to have a healthy relationship. Everyone's relationships are so screwed up. Have you noticed that? I want at least one of us to be happy and at peace."

"Wouldn't that be nice?" He asks sarcastically.

Even if you exclude my twisted Salvatore affiliation, every other Briarview relationship is far from healthy. Even the giggling sweethearts Jeremy and Bonnie are far from perfect. Jeremy's treatment of Bonnie is bettering, but she's sacrificing so much to be with him. Bonnie's taking time off from her classes just to help him through the month. I was shocked that she'd leave school for a month. She must really love him. But is it fair for a woman to have to give up her ambitions to build up the person she loves? And this is the ever-present question in my life.

Matt asks if I've heard from Stefan and I respond that I haven't. As a follow-up, I ask if he's heard anything about Damon. He has not. Then I remember everything that happened between Damon and Matt not so long ago. Matt knew about Baltimore. They fought over it. And then the next night Damon's killed? Matt wouldn't have been in cahoots with Katherine and Rick, would he?

"Matt, can I ask you a question?"

I'll be blunt. No one expects me to have basic manners at a time like this anyways.

"Shoot."

"This is going to seem really random, but how'd you know about Damon's time in Baltimore?"

"What?"

"You kept questioning Damon about Baltimore before the accident."

"How do _you_ know about Baltimore?"

"He was shot _because_ of Baltimore. Of course I know."

"He was shot for sleeping with my mother?"

Oh lord, I did not see this coming.

"You were upset with him for sleeping with your mom? Wait, he slept with your mom?"

"Her crazy, gypsy travels took her to Baltimore some time ago. I saw her photos on Facebook and Damon was in a lot of them. Her and her one friend Trudie were talking about their "wild nights" in Baltimore, and Damon's name came up. Once he came back to town, and I realized he was _that_ Damon, I was pissed. Not to mention, then he went after Caroline. And then he slept with her and totally blew her off, so I just wanted to teach the douche a lesson."

"He certainly gets around," I add.

"Does that bother you?" Matt suggests.

"No," I firmly reassure him.

"Sure, Elena."

I roll my eyes and sit back in my chair. Wow: Isobel, Mrs. Donovan, Katherine, and Caroline. Where does the list end? Not with Elena Gilbert, that's for sure.

"I'd judge him for it if we hadn't gone through so much together last month."

"I agree with that statement. Coming to the funeral that day was pretty big of him. And as much as I hate saying this, what Stefan's off doing right now is commendable. They're good to you, Elena."

I chuckle.

"You all are. That's the problem."

"So what are you going to do once Stefan gets back?"

His question catches me by surprise. My affections for Stefan and Damon mean little to me right now. My life is scattered in pieces on the floor of this house. I can't even think about stepping outside, let alone choosing between two devoted brothers.

"Hide in the cellar and never come out."

"Going after Rick really made your decision tougher, huh?"

"I don't know what decision you're referring to," I say coyly.

"Which Salvatore brother will it be, Elena?"

"Neither. I'm not sacrificing my dignity for the male species any longer."

"Alright then. Are we going to go burn our bras after this?"

"You're hilarious, Matt."

We laugh and talk about our futures. I'm not sure how Jeremy and I are going to continue living this way. One of us will need to find a steady job. Tips and minimum wage at the pub just aren't cutting it. As I burst out in a loud guffaw, a knock sounds at the door. Who else dares approach Wuthering Heights? Hasn't this wayfarer heard that I'm basically the resident Heathcliff these days?

As I reach for the handle, I already sense the tension—the spark. I cautiously bring the door towards my chest, and he stands before me: Damon Salvatore.

"May I come in?"

"Oh, sure," I answer awkwardly.

Damon is the last person I expected to visit. I hadn't even heard that he'd been released from the hospital. Maybe he hadn't, though. It didn't stop him last time.

He strolls through the foyer almost effortlessly. He's nearly back to his standard, charming self. His appearance is what strikes me the hardest. His eyes have returned to their piercing azure. All color has revisited his strikingly chiseled face. I'm transfixed by his stare, just like before. How does he ever expect me to escape this gaze? Elena, stop. He's just a man. Don't let those eyes fool you. I break the thick tension with small talk.

"So, you've been released?"

"Yeah, a few days ago. I meant to come by but I wasn't sure what to say."

"I understand…Have you heard from your brother?"

Elena, you're so stupid. Why would you ask about Stefan at a time like this? He stares back at me awkwardly.

"No, I haven't. Elena, there's something I've been meaning to tell you about that."

I'm intrigued, but I'm not sure I want to dive back into the Salvatore drama today. I need more time.

"Can it wait?" I ask.

"I think I've waited long enough. I wanted to tell you this the day it happened, but I wasn't sure how it would affect you. I saw Rick the day of Jenna's funeral."

The world stops turning for a brief instant. Alaric Saltzman was in Briarview? And Damon didn't think to mention that while we sat in the hearse at the funeral of my last living guardian?

"What do you mean you saw him?" I say angrily.

"He picked me up when I was limping back to my house. Then he drove me to the funeral. Elena, I wanted to tell you, but he asked me not to. He couldn't face you and Jeremy. I tried to convince him to stay but he wouldn't."

"But you should've told me, Damon. You should've told me," I repeat.

"How do you think that would've played out? Jeremy would've bolted. You'd both be chasing him around town trying to force him to come home. It would've driven you out of your minds knowing he was still this close!"

"But not having him there was about as hard as it gets! Damon, he could still be here! How could you not think to tell me this sooner? Oh god, what about Stefan? Stefan's traveling to God-knows-where trying to find him when he's been here the whole time."

"I didn't say that. I don't know if he's still here, but he was here that day. Feel free to hate me for it. I thought I was doing the right thing by you."

It's easy to see that Damon's intentions were pure. I do forgive him for keeping this secret from me, but what about Stefan? He could've told him weeks ago. He let his brother leave town on a wild goose chase.

"Call Stefan and tell him to come home," I demand.

"Before you start lecturing, Elena, you should know that I tried calling him that day and he didn't pick up."

"So you never tried again? You haven't tried calling him back in the past month?"

Damon remains taciturn.

I'm so frustrated with him right now. He practically sent Stefan away. Damon's actions towards Stefan were selfish.

"Call Stefan," I repeat.

Damon steps out of the room to call his brother home. I'm not sure why I'm even concerned about Stefan's return. I don't know. Maybe I'm searching for some kind of normalcy. I still don't feel like seeing anyone, but just knowing that the world is moving on without me is comforting. Stefan deserves to move on without me.

As for what I should be doing, I think it's time I take matters into my own hands and find Rick. This isn't Stefan's problem, nor is it Damon's. Alaric's return will not bring Jenna back. Jeremy knows that. But it'll ease our pain.

Eventually, Damon reappears.

"It's done."

"How'd he react?"

"I thought he'd be extremely pissed, but he seems to be in high spirits. He's out with some friends from what I could hear."

Stefan? Friends? I don a quizzical expression, and Damon takes notice.

"I'm just as surprised as you are."

Well, I'd say that's enough socializing for me today. With a phony grin, I leave the room and mount the stairs. Damon, however, will not give up that easily. He follows me all the way to my room. I take a seat on my bed, similar to the scene at the dinner party.

Damon intensely stares at me and then breaks loose.

"Damnit, Elena. Pull yourself together," he somewhat yells.

"Excuse me?"

I'm extremely offended by his remark. All I've been trying to do is pull myself together. It's much easier said than done.

"Look at you. You're sitting around here sulking and pushing everyone away. I'd understand if everyone was being as overbearing as Stefan usually is but people are just trying to talk to you."

"Maybe I don't want to talk to people."

"Or maybe you need to stop brooding in your own grief and start living again," he suggests harshly.

Damon takes a seat next to me on my bed, just like on that night several weeks ago. This time, though, I don't move over. Why waste the energy?

"Stop blaming and hating yourself. You've got to live for something, Elena. Trust me. I've been in this place."

Damon's words are the most sincere I've heard in a long time. If anyone understands being abandoned, it's Damon Salvatore. Though he's pleading for my sanity, I feel that he needs me just as much as I need him right now. There, I said it. I do need him. I need someone. Maybe leaning on another person doesn't make you weak, but it makes you human.

Jeremy's doing so well because of his love for Bonnie. Why can't I let myself love another person? That's probably because last time I threw my grief into my affections things didn't play out well. I don't want to be dependent, but maybe I do need to find some middle ground where I don't have to live as a hermit for the next few months.

"You're right," I admit.

"What else is new?" He jokes.

"Damon?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for trying to get Rick to stay. The man tried to kill you, and you still tried to keep him in town."

"He's important to you and your brother. I didn't have much of a choice."

Why do the Salvatore brothers constantly make sacrifices for my happiness? I feel so selfish for allowing that to happen. Damon deserves to be angry and lash out against Alaric, but he most likely won't for my sake. Maybe that's what's holding everyone together, though. Catharsis never got anyone anywhere.

"So, what now?" He asks.

I wonder if this question is rhetorical. What comes next can't even be fathomed at this point.

"Maybe I shouldn't go looking for Alaric. It's selfish to expect him to be here, I guess."

"I think you should wait it out. I'm not saying to let him go, because I think he'll be back, but for now just start moving on. You really need to move on, Elena."

"I hate change, Damon. I don't even know what normal is anymore. Every time I think 'this is my life, this is normal,' something awful happens to flip everything around."

"Normal is this. Normal is you and your brother getting through all these obstacles together. Hell, you could even call this normal: me and you sorting out our innumerable issues after avoiding each other for long periods of time."

If this is normal, then I'm happy with it. Jeremy is all I have left of who I used to be. He's the only reminder of who I am. Thank God I still have him. The night I received the call about Jenna, I was certain they were calling to inform me something happened to Jeremy. It may sound awful but I'm so glad it wasn't about him.

And normal really is my talks with Damon Salvatore. We discover so much about ourselves and each other whenever we speak. I never want that to change.

"Hopefully this normal never changes."

I don't hint at which 'normal' I'm referring to. He'll have to make his own judgment on that. I slightly grin and my phone buzzes and lights up. Of course, it's Stefan. This time, though, I'm glad to hear from him. He's been traversing the country trying to find Alaric for me, when Alaric has been here the whole time.

**I'm an hour outside of Atlanta. I'll be back tonight. Pub?**

Stefan and I haven't spent any time together for as long as I can remember. This should be quite an interesting night. I owe him this much, though. It's not as if I don't miss my relationship with Stefan. Nostalgia takes over my thoughts.

**Of course.**

As I respond, Damon watches my movements. He probably already realizes what's going on. I don't want him to think I'm running back to Stefan. That's not what's happening here. But I'm not running into _his_ arms either. I don't know how I'm supposed to love after my relationship with these two men has caused so much hurt to the people I care about.

"Well, I guess Stefan has my job covered. I'll see you around," Damon says and stands.

"Why don't you join us later?"

"Why, so I can apologize for keeping him miles away? I'd rather not."

"You'd think almost dying would bring the two of you closer, yet all you've done is spite each other. Why is that?"

"Because the game's still on, Elena."

"I'm not a prize to be won."

This distance hasn't done any good for my relationship with Damon. I feel as if we're back at square one. The worst part of it all is that I don't think we'll be able to get back to where we were before. For some reason, I feel like a totally different person. In a way, I feel like Katherine. I've brought so much destruction to everyone. I don't even deserve to be loved.

The day drags by. In an attempt to annoy me, Damon sits on the couch all afternoon watching the History Channel. Every fiber of my being wants to collapse onto that couch and join him, but I'm not letting myself get that close again. I've got to meet with Stefan tonight and see where we stand.

That same wave of nostalgia flows over me as I search my closet for something to wear. Memories of high school dates with Stefan fill my mind. Life was so much easier back then. A dark blue button up shirt with just enough cleavage to prove I'm not completely homely should do the trick. I pair the semi-risqué top with dark-as-night jeans and lace up boots. It feels good to be going out tonight.

The clock strikes six and Stefan's text arrives indicating that he's returned.

"Well, I'm going," I announce. No one stirs.

"Have fun," Damon eventually responds sarcastically.

Do I really want him to join me? Why? It shouldn't be that hard for me to be alone with a man I spent the past two years of my life with. Then again, this could be a fitting opportunity for the two brothers to reunite and patch things up.

"Would you like to go with me?"

"On your date with Stefan? Not particularly."

"Suit yourself. Stay here and spend your night listening to Jeremy and Bonnie fawn over each other."

Damon glares at me and eventually stands.

"I could use a drink."

It's easily perceived that today is a Wednesday. On Wednesday nights, a 1920s style jazz band performs. The atmosphere is euphoric in nature. Everyone in attendance is there for a night of carefree self-indulgence. What a night to witness the return of my former flame, while being accompanied by his luscious older brother.

Damon and I enter the pub and scan the room for a trace of Stefan. Though, he's nowhere to be found. Leaving Damon's side, I stroll towards the bar, my steps getting a bit lighter with every note played. I feel the sudden urge to jump into the Charleston, but I'll have to save the dancing for later. Jeremy's not on call tonight, so it seems as though I'll be drinking soda in a tall glass. I signal the barkeep. As I take my seat, a familiar guffaw sounds down the bar. I lean over and look far to my right. Two devilishly handsome men are sharing laughs and several drinks. One of them looks vaguely familiar, yet entirely different. That man is Stefan Salvatore.

"Stefan?" I ask cautiously as I approach.

The former Stefan Salvatore turns in his chair with an enormous grin on his face.

"Elena!" He exclaims as he turns to his comrade, "This is the woman I've been telling you about for weeks!"

Stefan's supposed friend rotates around and deviously grins. He reaches out his hand, waiting for me to grab hold.

I do so, yet I don't entirely trust this foreigner. He gently takes my hand and plants a small kiss. Who said chivalry was dead?

"Charmed. My name is Klaus, Klaus Mikaelson," he greets me with the most artful British accent I've ever heard.

"Elena Gilbert," I respond.

"I've heard quite a great deal about you, Miss Gilbert. You broke poor Stefan's heart! That's alright, though. I'm waiting for his wild, bachelor side to come forth anyways."

Klaus sure is blunt, but still overwhelmingly charming.

"Take a seat," he insists warmly while pointing to the stool beside him.

I quickly look back to see if Damon is still standing near the entrance, but he isn't, so I decide joining the two men couldn't hurt.

"So, how'd you two meet?" I ask.

"Well, it wasn't some sort of meetcute if that's what you're wondering, love. We met on a college visit almost two years ago in Chicago. And while he was scouring the Midwest for some professor, we ran into each other at an establishment not quite different from this."

So, Stefan and Klaus have met before. He'd never mentioned him. I wonder why.

"Chicago. I think I remember that. You went to see Loyola, if I remember correctly."

"Right in the heart of the city. It was spectacular," Stefan reminisces.

"I could barely get him to leave! He fell in love with the city. Who wouldn't?"

Now my guilt sinks deep inside my stomach. Stefan would've loved to go away to school and live in a city. Why didn't he share these feelings with me?

"But now he's here…in Briarton," Klaus mutters.

"I'll have you know that Briar_view_ is a vibrant community. You'll love it once you give it a chance," Stefan rebuffs.

As Stefan finishes his point, a perky blonde scampers across the crowd of bar patrons in full flapper attire. Caroline goes all out for these themed events. We all turn to watch as she dances my desired Charleston with her newest flame, Tyler Lockwood. The two float across the floor as if held up by strings. Their moves are effortless and quick. It must be nice to be so wild and carefree. Caroline's free spirit is something I have always envied.

"She's lively," Klaus remarks.

"That's Caroline Forbes, resident beauty queen," I respond.

"Interesting."

A devilish smile crosses Klaus' lips, similar to Caroline's "on the hunt" visage.

With that, I change the topic of conversation to Stefan's return.

"So, how was your trip?" I casually query.

"Interesting. It was nice to have some time away. I wish I would've known that Alaric wouldn't be there, though," he grumbles.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It's not your fault. It was just Damon being selfish."

"Yeah, but he's sorry. He said he tried telling you before you left."

"And what about all of the times after I arrived?"

"I'm not trying to justify his actions."

"Good," he retorts.

Something in Stefan has changed. He's not the whimpering, damaged brother who was falling apart just a month or so ago. He's confident, strong, and determined. Even his choice of company displays this change in personality. _This_ Stefan is someone I have never met, but also someone who intrigues me. But what does that mean for our future?

Well, I guess we'll see. The carefree, wild atmosphere takes over my inhibitions. Boredom with my childish soda drives me to take a sip of Stefan's drink as I sink back into my barstool. It's going to be a long night.

* * *

**I decided to call this next set of chapters "Book II." It begins a somewhat new story line with new characters, so I'm sort of signalling a new beginning. I hope you're enjoying the story. This was one of my favorite chapters to write. Thanks for all your reviews and follows!**

**xoxo Liz**


	37. New Beginnings

This evening at the pub is much more relaxed than I assumed it would be. Then again, I'm a lot more relaxed than I've been in a while. Unwinding on my road trip has brought about some kind of inner peace. It's great to have Klaus here. That summer in Chicago was incredible. I'd never tell Elena how much I wanted to go away to school and take over the Windy City with my newest comrade. I've never really had a close guy friend since my brother. Maybe I have problems trusting my gender. But my friendship with Klaus is completely different. We didn't really care how different we were because we were both looking for one thing: excitement. And we found it on that campus: one of the wildest summers of my life. But I don't plan on being that crazy college-bound moron I played for that brief week now that I've returned with said friend in tow.

My thoughts turn to Elena. I haven't been pining over her for the past month. I really took the time to figure out who I am, rather than who she is. I'm assuming her relationship with Damon has progressed, as I see him eyeing the two of us from the corner of the bar. Of course she brought him. I'm not angry, though. If it's meant to be, then it will be. That's all I can think of for now.

"So, Klaus accompanied me around the Midwest. Jeremy's list of 'leads' were basically towns he'd heard Rick speak of before. They didn't 'lead' anywhere. The whole thing would've been pointless if I didn't end up having such a great time," I finish.

"We didn't get a chance to visit the Big Apple, unfortunately. You see, love, he decided it was imperative that we return to Briarview, Georgia. You've put quite the damper on our road trip," Klaus fusses to Elena.

"I'm sorry to hear that, but I didn't ask him to come back," Elena retorts.

"Did you want me to?" I inquire.

I don't want to seem overly eager about knowing if she thought of me, but I am curious. Did she even care if I returned or not? She has my brother, but I'm sure their relationship hasn't fully bloomed yet. Elena has enough sense and morals to take things slow with Damon, for my sake and for her own.

"I did," she replies with a shy smile.

"This is a lovely scene, but there's a dance floor full of feathers and zoot suits. Shall we?" Klaus questions as he takes Elena's hand.

I grasp the other and we walk towards the dance floor. As we tread into the crowd, Klaus flees from her side and searches for a viable partner. It's plain to see that his eyes are set on Caroline Forbes. You'd think Klaus was a bit deeper than that. However, Caroline can be more than meets the eye. Maybe he sees that at first glance.

Elena and I are left, hand in hand, in the middle of a crowded dance floor. We exchange anxious grins as both of our hands interlock. We do a series of swing steps and end, exhaustedly, in a close, slow embrace. We sway back and forth. I'm not sure of the time or place anymore. This moment seems to linger on forever, and that's fine with me. All of our problems just don't matter at the moment. We're having fun. It's a rare event.

I glance across the room towards the bar. Damon's there downing his fourth glass. I wonder why she'd leave him alone all night.

"So, Damon's here," I suggest.

"I was afraid this would be awkward, so I invited him along."

"How've things been between you two?" I hesitantly question.

"Stefan, do you really want to know that?"

"Might as well ask."

"Damon and I are friends. Until today, I hadn't seen him since the funeral."

"He was there?"

"He caught a ride with Rick while hitchhiking. That's how he found out Rick never left town."

Damon hitchhiked across town in a hospital gown to be there for Elena. It's hard to top that.

"That's pretty brave."

"And pretty reckless."

Recklessness isn't bad, though. It's spontaneous, romantic, and exciting. We all need to be a little reckless sometimes.

I dramatically dip Elena and slowly ease her back up. She gazes deep into my eyes. Those brown doe eyes make me melt no matter what front I'm putting up.

"I missed you," I admit.

"I know. I missed you too. I can't thank you enough for what you've done."

"I told you in the letters. It's you and me. Always."

She nods, still seeming uncertain.

"I know. And Stefan, you know I love you, but I can't be what you need me to be right now."

As I assumed, Elena still needs time. And that's just fine. When she comes back to me, I want her to be sure. I want us to be stronger than ever, and that can't happen unless she becomes certain of her love for me.

"I need you to relax and have a little fun. I think you can do that," I whisper.

"That I can do," she purrs as her head rests on my neck.

We've got time, and, for now, I've got patience.

Elena and I sway back and forth. Across the floor, I see Klaus intrude upon Tyler and Caroline's waltz. Tyler is visibly angered by Klaus' forward gesture. Caroline eyes him suspiciously, but with curiosity. Consistent with his character, Klaus kisses Caroline's hand and retreats, leaving her wanting more. She eyes him from her position. Well played, Klaus.

As the song comes to a close, Elena raises her head and opens her eyes. She smiles at me in a way an old friend does when she hasn't seen you in a while. It's brilliant. I grin back as I feel a hand upon my shoulder. I turn only to discover the presence of my brother.

"May I cut in?"

* * *

Damon and Elena have been dancing for a few minutes. When we danced, I held her like a delicate flower. Damon, however, holds her too close for comfort and eyes her like a slab of meat he's about to devour. Well, Elena's a big girl. She knows what she's getting herself into.

In an attempt to smooth over my companion's ruffled feathers, I walk over to Caroline and Tyler.

"I see you've met my friend Klaus."

"Quite the charmer," Caroline responds.

Tyler rolls his eyes and tightens his grip on Caroline's arm.

"Who does he think he is? I was standing right there when he asked Caroline to dance."

"Don't worry. I'm sure he'll ask you next time," I joke.

Tyler is not amused, so I excuse Klaus' actions.

"He's just accustomed to a different way of doing things. Don't take offense."

A few minutes pass and I'm growing restless.

"Caroline?" I question as I hold out my arm.

"I'd love to," she replies.

We interlock arms and immerse ourselves in the sinful delight of the big band tunes. The prohibition era is one of my favorites. I've always been a sucker for the 1920s. Why hadn't I come to this event before?

I feel eyes burning into my back as I turn. These red, scorching eyes belong to Klaus. He's already possessive of Caroline. Minutes later, he interrupts.

"Stefan, we need to go move my things into my new apartment. Sorry to intrude, love, but we've got a busy night ahead of us," he says to both Caroline and me.

"So you're moving to Briarview?" She questions.

"Well of course. There may be more to this town than I previously thought," he says with a smirk.

And maybe there is more to this town than Elena Gilbert. Only time will tell.


	38. Chances Taken

"You're a pretty good dancer, Elena."

"Did you know about his trip to Chicago?" She asks while watching Stefan exit the bar.

"What? Are you asking me about Stefan?"

Just when I thought this night held innumerable possibilities for Elena and I, the Stefan subject reappears. I'll always fail in comparison to my brother. Maybe now that he's back, she's realized that again.

"He met Klaus one summer in Chicago."

"Klaus…?" I question.

"The strange man that's been talking with us all night? Did you not notice?"

"Elena, I didn't just sit and stare at you the whole night."

She purses her lips and glares at me.

Alright, so I'm lying. I saw the strange curly-haired chap sitting beside my brother. Yet, I'm not interested in who he is. I'm preoccupied with discerning the current state of affairs. Is she interested in boring, broody, Stefan again? Or are we truly going to move forward?

"Sorry to burst your selfish bubble. Why are you so concerned with Stefan's whereabouts all of the sudden?"

"I'm not sure. It's just strange to hear about this 'wild trip' to Chicago. When he got back, he barely said anything about it. This was well before I decided I couldn't go away to school, so why wouldn't he talk to me about it?"

"You really know how to kill a party."

I'll admit it. It bothers me that she'd rather talk about Stefan's past than enjoy a dance with me. Am I suddenly so unimportant? It seems as though Stefan's new bad-boy image, which he ripped off from me, is charming Elena.

"So you're swooning over Stefan again. I guess everything _is_ back to normal."

Suddenly, her eyes turn familiar again. She smiles.

"Normal is this, remember? I haven't forgotten everything that's happened. I just sense that there's something up with this Klaus friendship. I don't know how to describe it."

I release Elena for a quick twirl and pull her in close.

"Let's not worry about that tonight," I breathe.

It's been some time since we've talked about our feelings for one another, but could all of that have changed over the past month? I can't speak for her, but I know that I feel the same.

Our eyes remain fixed on one another. Inches apart, I can feel her breath on my skin. It's a sinful pleasure. Our lips are too close. Why should we waste this moment by leaving them separated? I cup her cheek with my palm and continue my gaze.

Suddenly, she turns and walks out into the cold evening air. Instinctively, I follow.

"Damon, I can't do this right now."

"And why not?" I ask in pure frustration.

"Because I'm a mess! How do you expect me to start this again?"

What is "this?" I didn't realize we'd ever stopped. I guess she gave up on anything happening between the two of us while we were separated. But I'm not giving up that easily.

"Elena, come on."

"I can't! I can't love anyone when I'm so miserable. I'm so unhappy, Damon, and I don't know what to do about it. I'm starting to think it has nothing to do with me throwing away my life. Maybe there's something wrong with me, I don't know! I keep hurting everyone. I can't stop. I'm not going to do this. No."

She paces the sidewalk with her hands over her head and begins speaking again.

"All I'll do is hurt you. And you'll hurt me. It's what we do! We're no good for each other. I can already tell. We're trying so hard not to hurt one another but in the process it's all we're doing! Do you think I don't know that I was falling in love with you just a few weeks ago? I know it. I fought it every day," she shouts.

My heart sinks and hatred descends inside. This hatred is for myself and for all the love in the world. What good comes out of loving someone? She's tormented by all the love she's shown. She's loved so deeply, so loss has been her ruin.

"I can't hurt anyone else, and I can't hurt myself. I just need to be alone," she finishes.

No, she's wrong. I feel sick to my stomach. Hatred, lust, and pure love feel as if they'll burst out of my gut at this moment. I don't know what's making me want to force a brutal kiss upon her damaged, broken lips. It may be my twisted sense of passion, or maybe it's my own strange remedy. I don't want her to be in this much pain. I don't want to be in this much pain.

"How's being alone working out so far?" I cruelly ask.

"I hate it! It's making me bitter. Maybe I need to be bitter, Damon. The more I let people in, the more it hurts when they leave. I can't do it anymore. It hurts too much."

Though her words are dark and depressing, they scream "love me." She's feeling alone and desperate. I know Elena Gilbert, and I know she doesn't want to be alone.

Without thinking, I grab her wrist and drag her by the arm down a few blocks. She doesn't complain or question my motives. She has nothing to lose.

We tread several miles and eventually turn into the darkened land of the dead. Almost two months ago, Elena Gilbert brought me here to show me I had a fighting chance, to give me a fresh start. Cautiously, I guide her towards the graves of her parents and Jenna.

I point.

"Do you see these people?" I shout, stifling angry tears.

"They loved you. You have all of these memories of the love all of you shared. That's never going to leave you. It may not seem like enough, but it's a hell of a lot better than back there," I shout while pointing to the Salvatore plot.

"I don't have those memories. Those people buried in the ground, I have no memories of them that I choose to remember. I've lost so many people but there's nothing good about what I felt for them to pacify this emptiness. Nothing. God, Elena, be grateful!"

I don't want to seem cruel, but I have to find some way to break through to her. She's done nothing but grieve and sulk in her own sorrow for weeks. She can't even see the light at the end of the tunnel. Loving all of her friends and family is always going to be worth it. I'd rather have had a fantastic family and had them die then bring my parents back to life. She's so fortunate to have loved and lost, rather than just lost.

Elena falls to the ground, dirtying her lace-up boots with wet soil.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Damon. I'm so ungrateful but I just feel so alone. I was numb for so long but once we lost Jenna and Rick, all the feelings I buried down crashed in on me. It hurts."

"And it'll probably hurt for the rest of your life. So you need to work on moving forward. It's all we can do for now."

I take a seat beside her on the cold ground.

"You're scared," I suggest.

The frightened girl turns to face me quizzically.

"Of what?"

"Moving on, change, taking risks. You don't know if you'll hurt me, and you don't know if I'll hurt you. You're scared to find out."

"It's not that simple."

"You're scared you'll hurt Stefan. You're scared of what your friends and Jeremy will think. You're scared to make _this_ your new normal."

"Maybe I am," she nods.

"Don't you think you scared the hell out of me when I first met you? I'd been chasing Katherine for years and all of a sudden you change everything. I was terrified to let go, but I did. I took the plunge. I don't know if anything will ever come of it, but it was worth the risk no matter what. We need to face our fears to see if we can find some sort of happiness."

"I don't think I'm ever going to be happy."

"Then what's the risk in trying?"

We continue our stare from earlier, this time under the pale moonlight near a tree beside her parents' graves. I'm not sure if I'm fully capable of love, but I'm fairly certain that I love Elena Gilbert. Even at this moment, seeing her in such a dilapidated state, I love her.

"I don't care if the whole world turns against me, I want this, Elena. I want you."

One tear drips down her rosy cheek as she winces and turns to her left.

It suddenly registers in my mind that Elena told me she loved me tonight. She said she knows it, and she fights it. Why didn't I understand this before? Elena Gilbert loves me. Isn't this all I've been waiting for? Even if she never comes around to showing it, knowing how she feels is enough.

"You can love me. You don't have to fight it. There's no reason to. Just jump, Elena. Take the risk."

"You're just going to resent me in the end, just like Stefan. Look at how I tore him down. I thought he ruined me, but he had such big dreams. He was going to live in the city. He could've had a relationship with you! I ruined that too! I can't be selfish like that. I just can't. My love is poison."

"I've got nothing else. I've got nothing for you to destroy. All I want is you. Tear me down. Break me. I don't care. I need this."

At this point, I'm pleading for her love. I want her to feel better. I want to feel better.

"When you're feeling low like this, you take advantage of women like Caroline, Matt's mom, and Alaric's wife. How do I know you're not just going to up and leave like you did to them?"

Her poison fills my lungs as I breathe in the frigid air. She's intentionally trying to hurt me. She knows that my feelings for her are much deeper than any that I've ever felt.

"Don't do that. You know it's different. Don't look for excuses to back out. There's no turning back anymore. We either move forward from here or I leave. Is that what you want?"

"No, Damon. I want you. Every piece of you: the light and the dark. I'm drawn to both. I've hated myself for loving you. It's selfish. It's wrong."

I nod.

The division between Stefan and me is hardly her fault. It's Katherine's. No, it's ours. Stefan and I were too proud to patch up our damaged brotherhood. Is it wrong that I'm willing to give up any chance of Stefan and I finally reconciling to be with Elena?

A light snow begins to fall. A shiver passes through both of our bodies. This love is sinful. It's wrong, but so intense and beautiful.

A few minutes of silence pass. Just sitting here is utterly depressing. We're few inches apart, but there's nothing we can do about our feelings for one another. We're torn apart from the inside. It's the worst kind of separation.

It's wrong for me to love her. It's wrong that I went after her when my brother is crazy about her. Everything about this is wrong externally. But what about internally? It feels overwhelmingly right in my heart.

I wrap my arm around her in an attempt to keep her warm. She rests her exhausted head on my shoulder and we fall back into the snow slowly. This may be as close as we'll ever get.

* * *

I wake in confusion as the sun beats down on my forehead. Beneath me is wet, melting snow. Beside me, though, is the most beautiful piece of scenery. Elena's arm is draped across my chest, her face nuzzled into my shoulder. Small snowflakes are littered throughout her chocolate brown hair. It suddenly hits me that this woman is in love with me. She truly loves me: every part. This sentiment is entirely new to me. I want to explore all of its depths, but, unfortunately, circumstance will not allow it. I hesitantly creep out of her embrace. Though I don't want to leave, there's a visit I need to make. The worn path leading to the Salvatore plot doesn't call my name as loudly as it used to.

"I have something to live for," I announce to my kin.

I won't end up here alone. Even if we never get the chance to just be happy, I'll die happy knowing she loved me. That's all I've ever needed.

As I scan the ground that covers the bodies of my parents, I see a small, folded sheet of paper lying on an open plot. I grab the paper and unfold it carefully. Much to my surprise, it is a note for me. It must've been left by someone who thought I'd died.

_Damon,_

_ I'm sorry will never be enough. I'm so lost and confused. I don't know how I became this way. Maybe if I would've given you the chance, your love could've saved me. You loved me selflessly. I loved you selfishly. You deserved better than this. I'll spend the rest of my life thinking of you. I hope you're happy and loved wherever you are._

_ Yours Forever,_

_ K_

A single letter said it all. Katherine left this letter at "my grave." Love can be destructive. Katherine loved me. Isn't that strange? She really had me convinced that she didn't. "Your love could've saved me." I take this as a sign. Elena and Katherine are somewhat similar. Tragic circumstances damaged each of them. Maybe Elena and I really could save each other. The sun reflects off the pure white snow, symbolizing rebirth. Katherine's letter gives me hope. I'm not giving up on Elena.

I begin to sprint back to the tree where I left her, but as soon as I turn around, she's behind me with her hands in the pocket of her long winter pea coat.

Elena slightly grins and wraps her arms around me. As we separate, I sense that she feels this newfound hope too. Why should this love be so wrong? Why am I so wrong for her? We're making excuses based on what other people will think and feel. This moment and every moment henceforth should be about us.

Both of my hands caress her cheeks as I vigorously kiss her lips. This isn't like any of my previous embraces. This is deliberate. I'm not kissing Elena to forget or to escape, but to show her that I love her, to give her hope, and to finally affirm that she is not alone. Neither of us is alone. Elena reciprocates and gently pushes back, wrapping her arms around my waist. It's freezing cold this morning, and both of our teeth are chattering. Her lip quivers slightly as we continue our passionate encounter. My arms fall around her waist as she slowly runs her fingers through my hair. I pull back slowly, though. This is enough for now. I don't want to overwhelm her. But she kissed me back this time. We're moving forward.

Hand in hand, we traverse the streets of Briarview heading towards her home. Frequently, she'll turn and look at me. She smiles and slightly shakes her head in a good way. Outside of her home a black SUV is parked.

She drops my hand and sprints towards her house. Elena pushes the door open and runs into the foyer. Jeremy and Alaric are standing on opposite sides of the room in the middle of a conversation.

"Rick," Elena mumbles.

"Elena, it's good to see you."

Then, I walk in the door. My presence startles him once again.

"Damon….I didn't know you'd be here…"

"Let's stop making this awkward. We're cool. Fix things with the kids," I say with a wink.

Well, I'm' not completely okay with the fact that he tried to kill me. The guy's got a lot of issues. But, so do I. I understand where he was coming from. I'm not going to justify murder, but I'm not going to hold a grudge against someone that Elena loves.

Rick proceeds with his apologies.

"I couldn't face you kids. How could I be a guardian when I was a homicidal maniac?"

"What about Jenna? She needed you. You should've turned yourself in. You were a coward," Jeremy shouts back.

I'm surprised he's not relieved to have Rick back. He's angry.

"If you wouldn't have ran and left us you would've known Damon was alive. And you knew he was alive the day of the funeral. You could've stayed! What did you need to think about? You didn't kill anyone."

"I'll never be able to explain this to you. I had to get over that anger, Jeremy. I'm sorry."

"You're not sorry. You left and you don't even care."

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Rick responds soberly.

"Why'd you even bother coming back?" Jeremy demands.

"Believe it or not I'm recognized as your legal guardian."

"Well, I'll be eighteen in a month so there's no need for you to be here."

"So you sent Stefan out for a month to bring Rick back just so you could scream at him to leave?" Elena asks.

"Screw off, Elena," Jeremy grumbles as he retreats up the stiars.

Once Jeremy leaves, Elena rushes across the room and throws her arms around Alaric. He's surprised by her compassionate gesture and hesitantly holds her close.

"I'm so sorry, Elena."

"I understand. If Damon can forgive you, so can I."

Rick nods in my direction to thank me. I exhaustingly nod my head.

Rick and Elena catch up in the kitchen over coffee and tea. I stand idly by, feeling like the outsider I used to be to this family. Rick suspiciously eyes me every so often, searching for traces of humanity. He's probably still having a hard time accepting that I'm not the murderous fiend he'd assumed. About an hour passes before the two leave the table.

"Damon, could I talk to you for a second?" Alaric rises and questions.

I walk over to converse with a man who just a month ago tried to take my life. Normally, I would've beaten the crazy lumberjack to a pulp. But because he's so precious to Elena, and because I sympathize with a man who lost the woman he loved, I can't help but show compassion. Not to mention, I did sleep with his wife.

"I want to thank you for showing me so much undeserved sympathy. And I want to thank you for taking care of Elena."

"Well, you're welcome for the first part, but I wasn't there for Elena at all. She wouldn't let anyone be. I was in the hospital and she shut herself off from everyone. You'll come to see that she's uh…not herself right now."

Rick nods and shakes his head.

"I don't even know who 'herself' is. Is this my fault?"

"I think the slightest tragedy would've set her off. And you couldn't have prevented what happened to Jenna."

"I haven't even taken the time to deal with Jenna's death," Rick admits.

I pat him on the back.

Frightened, he turns to me once more.

"Why aren't you angry with me?"

Good question.

"Oh, I am. Believe me, if it weren't for Elena, you'd be lying on the ground writhing in pain."

Maybe I'm all talk, but who knows.

"You're _still_ going after her?"

So now he knows what I should and shouldn't do with my personal life? This guy is batting a thousand.

"If you want to keep on both mine and Elena's good sides, you'd better support whatever makes her happy."

"Damon, this is nothing against you, but even you said she's not herself. Is it really the time to be messing with her head?"

Anger builds up inside me like a rising tower of smoke.

"You're pushing it, Rick."

"I don't mean to. I apologize. But I'm going to look out for her best interests despite our history."

"This has been pleasant. I'm sorry to inform you that this truce is off. See you around," I say as I retrace Elena's steps up the stairs.

She slips through her bedroom door and is fully dressed with her tote in hand.

"I've got class soon…" She pronounces.

"I'd be happy to drive you," I say with a smirk.

Elena glares down at her feet.

"Stefan's actually offered to pick me up."

I nod and grimace.

So that's how this is going to be. Without saying a word, I return down the stairs.

"Damon, wait," she calls after me.

Elena follows me down the steps and out the front door.

How can she tell me she loves me just last night and run back to my brother the next morning?

"It's just a ride to class. It doesn't mean anything."

"And did yesterday mean anything to you? Or this morning? God, Elena. Just when I thought you'd made up your mind."

"I can't do this right now. I don't know what you expect me to do."

"Just stop messing with my head," I say as I turn and go.

Just when I thought we were making progress…

* * *

**This chapter was a softer side of Damon, obviously. He'll be back to his sarcastic self soon, don't worry. I hope you're enjoying the story! Reviews are really helpful.**

**xoxo Liz**


	39. Déjà vu

A cold wind brushes across my bare cheeks as I sit on the steps of my front porch. It's a chilly winter morning with a sky of light blue and gray. Stefan should be here any minute. Am I prepared to face him? Probably not.

I feel horrible for intentionally pushing Damon away. Last night got intense. I didn't plan on telling him that I've loved him. Hell, I didn't even know I loved him until I said it out loud. Every time I consider letting myself be happy and letting myself love Damon, I picture Stefan's beautiful eyes swelling with tears. He may be a changed man, but I know this would crush him. I shake the notion as his red antique car pulls into my driveway. I walk over to the car and begin to open the passenger's side door when I see Klaus through the glass. I hop in the back seat while Stefan explains his presence.

"Klaus is using my car to move some of his boxes back to the apartment while we're at class."

"We could've walked. I wouldn't have minded," I suggest.

"There are at least 3 inches of snow on the ground and it's freezing," Stefan remarks.

That didn't seem to bother Damon and me as we lay cuddled under the tree in the cemetery.

We pull up to the student parking lot and a large moving van is parked beside us. Klaus's belongings must be inside. Klaus, in hopes of making a pleasant impression, opens my door for me. He most likely wants me to put in a good word for him with Caroline. That's not happening until I figure out what he's up to. I study him as he lifts the back door of the moving van and slides it to the top.

Much to my surprise, as the door slides up; two shiny red heels slowly come into view, revealing the body of a woman standing upright.

"Niklaus, you should know better than to keep a lady waiting," she comments.

This stranger is dressed in top fashion from head to toe. She's wearing a pair of black skinny pants with a cream-colored peplum top. Her bleach blonde hair is tousled down her shoulders in a goddess-like fashion. Simply said, she's stunning.

"Stefan," she says with a devilish smirk similar to Klaus's.

I turn to face Stefan. His face is splashed with shades of red embarrassment, familiarity, and shock.

"Rebekah," he acknowledges.

Suddenly I feel like the stranger at the party. I have no idea who this "Rebekah" is or how she knows Klaus and Stefan. And clearly no one feels the need to clue me in.

"It's been a long time. What, about two years and still no phone call? You really do play hard to get," Rebekah snares effortlessly.

Stefan stays silent and looks at Klaus. From his expression, it's clear that Klaus knew Rebekah would be in attendance and failed to tell Stefan.

"Elena, this is Klaus's sister Rebekah," he finally introduces.

I hold out my hand to shake hers, but she does not reciprocate. Rebekah defiantly stares at me and then returns her gaze to Stefan.

"Strange. I thought you'd have had a more impressive reason for leaving Chicago," she mocks.

Who does this "Rebekah" think she is? Suddenly I find myself missing Katherine.

"Gee, this has been a blast, but I should probably go to class, unless there are more siblings coming out of that truck to insult me?" I announce.

"Actually, we've three more: Elijah, Kol, and Finn. Unfortunately, they won't be joining us today," she says with a scheming smile.

"I'm quite sure you've heard of my brother, Elijah," Klaus adds.

"He's not very fond of his siblings, so he left Chicago and opened up a quaint tavern in Baltimore."

Just when I thought Baltimore was behind us, Klaus comes into the picture.

"Damon's friend from Baltimore," Stefan realizes.

"Why do you think he was so quick to help your brother cover up such a filthy crime? You're quite welcome, by the way," Klaus finishes.

So Klaus and his family have had more of an impact over Stefan and Damon's lives than I previously knew. I feel as if for that one summer Stefan had another life separate from the one we shared in Briarview. He didn't feel the need to share these memories with me I suppose.

The way Rebekah is starting at Stefan is making me extremely uncomfortable. Clearly her glare has the same effect on Stefan. He's looking at his feet and trying to find an excuse to leave this meeting.

I feel as if I'm the elephant in the room. This trio seemingly has a lot to discuss. Maybe I should retreat and let them at it.

"I'll leave you three to catch up. See you in there," I turn to Stefan.

Though they assume I've left, I hide behind a bush like a curious rabbit. Sure, this may seem crazy, but I'm eager to know what they're not telling me. Footsteps are heard behind me. I look up to see Matt quizzically staring down at me.

"Get down," I signal.

I hold my pointer finger to my lips asking for his silence as we both listen to the conversation between Stefan, Rebekah, and Klaus.

"I'm surprised you've come to Briarview. Isn't it a bit dull for your taste?" Stefan asks her.

"I'm surprised to see you and Elena are still together," she snares.

"Actually, they're not," Klaus chimes in.

"Interesting! So she was as devastated as you predicted she'd be. How unfortunate for you. You really must've been all torn up," she feigns sympathy.

"No, it gets better, little sister. Stefan broke up with Elena. Curious, isn't it?"

Rebekah smirks and focuses her attention back on Stefan.

"Couldn't get over me, could you?"

All of Rebekah's subtle remarks hint at some sort of fling between the two of them. How could this be possible when they met the summer we were together?

"I'm sure you're both enjoying tormenting me but I'm going to head on in."

Before he can turn away, Rebekah steps down from the truck and approaches him. She stands too close for comfort and touches his lip with her finger.

"I've missed you dearly, Stefan. You said you'd come back and you never did. That truly hurt my feelings," she purrs.

"It was one night, Rebekah. Let it go."

"You seemed to really enjoy yourself," she says with a grin.

"Until I sobered up," he retorts.

"Hmm, well, your loss. Good to see you again, Stefan."

Rebekah returns to the van and waits for Klaus to join her inside.

Stefan turns to Klaus.

"Can we not mention anything involving Rebekah to Elena?"

"Now where's the fun in that?" Klaus quips.

Stefan angrily stares at Klaus.

"Your dirty secret is safe with me," Klaus admits.

This cannot be true. Stefan had a fling with Klaus's sister while he was away? While he was still completely devoted to me? How could he do that to me? God, and I've been feeling so sorry for merely having feelings for Damon. He must've slept with this Rebekah while I stayed at home missing him to death. That is it. I'm done sitting around feeling guilty for what I feel. To hell with Stefan's feelings.

Matt and I sit in history class and listen to Alaric's temporary replacement ramble on about Reconstruction.

"Are you alright?" Matt whispers.

"I'm angry."

"I'm really sorry, Elena."

I don't know what to think or feel. Stefan's always been the White Knight figure in my life. I'd tried to live up to his expectations for so long. He's been the epitome of purity and virtue for as long as I can remember. Once again, I don't even know what normal is at this point. I'm hurt—extremely hurt. I realize we're not together, but to find out that I wasn't enough for him is extremely distressing. I loved Stefan with everything in me. I gave him everything, including my sanity.

I shake my head angrily and lay it on my desk.

Stefan's been sitting behind me this whole period and not a word has been exchanged between us. He's searched my face for traces of knowledge of the Rebekah situation. He still has no idea that I heard those details. I don't feel like confronting him, though. I'll go on despising him in silence.

I don't think I've ever been this angry. I want to hurt him. I might as well head straight to the Salvatore home and rip Damon's shirt off in the middle of the parlor. God knows I've wanted to before.

Class is dismissed and Matt and I walk out together. This scene is familiar to me. The last time he helped me avoid Stefan was the day I was kicked out of the Salvatore home.

Stefan walks after us and tries to strike up a conversation.

"I'm really sorry about that before class. It got somewhat awkward."

"Yep," I curtly reply.

Matt glares at Stefan, but I jab him in the side to tell him to stop. Stefan can't know that I know yet.

Elena, watch it. Do you really plan on enacting revenge upon Stefan? Weren't you the one who told him to be the bigger person and stop the cycle when he wanted to hurt Katherine?

I don't even care about being the good person anymore. There's such a fine line between good and bad. It's blurred to the point where I can't even tell the difference anymore.

"So, do you still need a ride home?" Stefan hesitantly asks.

"Yes, but I'd prefer to go back to your house," I say with a smile.

Matt's clearly confused, as is Stefan.

I wave Matt off, and Stefan and I begin our drive to the back of town. Snow is still falling as we drive around the winding routes of Briarview. It's beautiful in the winter. I love the way the snow falls on the barren oak trees.

Luckily, Damon's camaro is in the driveway. I cannot wait to tell him that there's nothing holding us back anymore. But are my intentions pure? Do I really want to be with Damon right now because of my love for him, or because I want to spite Stefan? Just this morning I wasn't sure if I was ready to begin this new journey. I guess we'll see.

I slam my door and walk into the home. Damon's walking around the kitchen with a mug of something warm in his hand. It's refreshing to see him giving up bourbon for a change.

"Hello," I greet him.

"Elena," he acknowledges my presence.

I walk over to him and grasp both of his hands.

"I was wrong," I admit.

We stay interlocked in an icy stare. The tension from our forbidden love, as well as my hatred for Stefan, builds the coldness of my gaze.

Stefan enters through the door as mine and Damon's hands remain together. It's evident that he takes notice of our encounter. He leaves the room and sits in the parlor.

"What makes now so different than this morning?" Damon asks.

"My conscience is clear. I don't owe anyone any explanations."

"That clear conscience doesn't sound like the Elena I know," he mocks.

"I'm done trying to live up to Stefan's standards. He's not one to judge."

Damon examines my countenance. He can tell something is up with my demeanor. He knows me all too well.

"I'll just pretend not to notice that you're acting so weird."

Damon follows his brother's path into the parlor and takes a seat on the velour sofa. I sit next to him, a bit too close for Stefan's comfort.

"How was school?" Damon asks sarcastically.

"Actually, it was interesting. We ran into some of Stefan's old friends. Have you ever met Rebekah?" I question with coldness in my tone.

"Can't say I have," Damon responds skeptically.

"I'm sorry she was rude to you. She's a spoiled princess. Klaus's family is actually filthy rich," Stefan chimes.

"That's no excuse for her being a bitch," I chide.

Both brothers are shocked at my use of language. Clearly I'm _out of my mind_ lately and far from being the Elena they know.

"Don't start a conflict that you can't finish. You really shouldn't mess with the Mikaelsons."

"Would I be in the wrong to hate her? No."

"You met her for like five seconds."

"I still hate her," I say honestly.

I'm angry and frustrated. My humanity and compassion are nowhere to be found. Even Damon is surprised at my blunt responses. Stefan's virtue has always kept me in check. Now that that's gone, I don't even know what good is anymore.

"Be nice," Stefan scolds.

"Excuse you, I don't believe you're apt to tell me how to treat people."

That cat's almost out of the bag. Do I really want to let it out this early? I want to drag this out and make him feel terrible for what he did. Do I even know what he did, though? I just know that "it was just one night" and that he never called her. To me, that sounds like a one night stand. And that's not something I'm okay with. Then again, honesty was never a strongpoint in our relationship.

"Alright, I guess being gone for a month trying to find your guardian makes me the bad guy here."

"Really, that's so polite of you to hold that over my head. Are you sure that's all you were doing the whole time? Looking for Rick?"

"Yes? What are you implying? Stop being so cryptic and come out with it!"

This conversation is becoming extremely two sided. However, Damon is still extremely interested. He's known something was up since I walked in the door.

"Never mind. You know, Stefan, stalking me like a lost puppy doesn't suddenly make you virtuous," I snare.

Stefan dons an expression of disgust. This look of his is quite familiar. I've seen it before. Oh, that's right. _It's the same look he gives Katherine_.

"I think I'll go make some tea and let you cool down," Stefan says as he walks to the kitchen.

"What the hell was that?" Damon asks.

"It's not important."

"That got pretty heated. It seemed important."

Speaking of heated, Damon's black button up is undone on three of the top buttons and his chiseled chest shows plainly. He's looking as delicious as ever. And this time there's nothing holding me back. I'm quite old-fashioned in my values and have never been one to be so forward, but I'm not myself lately, just like Alaric told him this morning. Yes, I was listening by the stairs.

I lean forward and grasp the sides of Damon's jaw with my hands, softly yet devotedly kissing his supple lips. He wraps his strong arms around my waist but hesitates for a second.

"Elena…" he tries to speak.

He sees me peaking around the corner waiting for Stefan's reappearance. As Damon realizes my game, Stefan enters the room just in time. Both brothers are clearly angered by my gesture. Who am I? Am I really playing them like this? I'm really not myself right now. I look down, ashamed of what I'd just concocted.

Stefan's been playing it cool since his return, but now he's angry. He throws down his mug and storms out the front door.

"That was low," Damon yells.

"You used me," he finishes.

"Damon, no! I've been wanting to do that for so long. It was just the right opportunity," I plead.

"That's a lie! You just wanted to piss off Stefan! I don't know what you're up to or what he did, but I want no part of this. God, Elena. I've given up so much trying to really be with you and you just continually screw me over. I'm done."

I really fucked it up this time. I know I love Damon. I love him with a devotion stronger than I've ever felt for anyone. But my anger towards Stefan has consumed all of my emotions.

"Damon, wait," I call after him.

He hesitantly turns and stares at me with a fury in his eyes like no other.

"Stefan slept with Rebekah when we were still together."

Damon's shocked.

"Didn't think he had that in him," he admits.

"I was angry that I've had to hold back my feelings for so long just to spare his, yet he's been unfaithful. I'm pissed, Damon. People do stupid things when they're angry."

He knows that better than anyone.

"But the difference is that you used me. We don't lie to each other, Elena. If you would've been upfront about it I probably would've agreed."

"I'm sorry, okay? I just wanted to hurt him like he hurt me."

"That doesn't sound like a relationship that's over."

"But it is over. It's been over. I'm just hurt. I can't help that I'm upset."

Why do Stefan's psycho exes have to keep coming to town and ruining everything?

"How am I supposed to believe your feelings for me are real when you're using them to hurt my brother?"

"Damon, of course they're real. I've loved you since that very first week. You know that. You felt it and knew it even when I didn't."

I walk up to him and place his hand in mine.

"Damon Salvatore, I do love you. And I'm going to tell Stefan that I know about Rebekah, apologize for being childish, and then return here _to you_. There's nothing holding us back."

"Except for the fact that you're going out of your mind."

"So you don't love me this way?"

"I love you any way you are, but I don't think it's fair to take advantage of you when you're at your wit's end."

"That sounds like Alaric talking."

"And this sounds like hell-bent Elena talking."

"I won't be angry once Stefan and I talk this out. Rick's back, Jeremy and I are good, everything's as back to normal as it will ever be. We can move forward when it's over. I promise."

Damon nods and points to the door. I guess it's time to explain my outburst to my former flame.

* * *

Stefan's sitting on the brick wall of his patio on the back acre. I walk up beside him and take a seat.

"Hey," I say quietly.

"Hi."

"That was immature of me. I was angry, and I'm sorry."

"You kissed Damon to make me mad?"

"No, I kissed Damon because I wanted to. Pissing you off was just a bonus."

"Why do you feel the need to hurt me?"

Once this comes out, reality will set in. My picture of Stefan will officially be torn to shreds. But honesty is necessary if I want to ever get past this.

"Because you ruined everything that was good about what we had. Do you understand how hurt I'm feeling right now?"

His skeptical expression proves that he has no idea that I know.

"What happened with Rebekah in Chicago, Stefan?"

Sadness fills his ever so naïve eyes.

"What have you heard?"

"I listened to the rest of the conversation today. I know there was 'one night' where you weren't sober and something happened. Just be honest with me because I'll be angrier if you lie."

"I'd never lie to you, Elena. I didn't tell you about what happened with Rebekah because I didn't want to hurt you. I'd never had a drink until that summer, you know. I'd tried to avoid the Salvatore tendency towards alcoholism. I had a bit too much. That whole week I'd been partying with Klaus and his sister. It was great and we all became great friends. Then, one of the last nights of my trip, I was just smashed and had no idea what was going on. To be honest all I really remember is waking up the next morning in a motel room with Rebekah. I mean, I know what I did, but I've repressed it."

We sit in silence for a few minutes as he shakes his head and gets himself all worked up.

"I hated myself for so long, Elena. I'm so sorry. I'd never willingly do that to you, you know that. My inhibitions were shot and I made a huge mistake. I couldn't lose you by telling you."

"It doesn't matter, Stefan. It hurts. It hurts either way."

"But look at all the great memories we had after that. Would you trade all that time for my honesty?"

"I'm still hurt. You've really, really hurt me. So it's only fair that I tell you that there is something going on between Damon and me. I know you've seen it, but I'm admitting it to you. There have been intense feelings for a while and for your sake, I've chosen not to act on them. But now all bets are off because I guess that's what we're doing now. We're just doing what we want regardless of the feelings of the people we love."

"If you love me why are you doing this? Why can't we try again?"

"We're too different! Too much has happened."

"So you like my brother. You can get past that."

"I don't want to, Stefan."

"So you're saying this is it? You don't want to even try? You said you still love me, Elena!"

"I do love you, but I'm not _in_ love with you."

As the truth surfaces, I'm standing and shouting. How did our discussion escalate this quickly? Stefan won't look at me. He's devastated, as I assumed he'd be. I still don't want to hurt him even though he hurt me.

"Stefan, I'm sorry. Even though I shouldn't be, I am. I didn't plan on it."

"I was _drunk_ when I did what I did. You've been fully conscious this whole time."

"Being conscious has nothing to do with falling in love with someone."

"You _love_ him?"

I can't admit this to him, not this soon. As if developing feelings for Damon wasn't enough, now he has to know that I'd move mountains to be with Damon. This whole apology is a stop on my path to being with him because I _do_ love him.

"You owe me some honesty too, Elena."

"Yes, I love him."

"No, you don't," Stefan rebuffs.

Is he really rejecting my statement? Of course I love Damon. I know how I feel.

"You're not yourself. This past month has driven you out of your mind and Damon's been the only one there for you while I've been gone. That's it. Once all of this doom and gloom passes you'll see that you're just being dependent."

"Are you serious? Stefan, me being dependent was when I collapsed onto you junior year. This is me giving in to my emotions and being independent."

"No, this is him taking advantage of a desperate situation. He's manipulated you."

"Are you kidding me? This sounds like Katherine's influence talking all over again. I thought we've established that he's not this cruel person you make him out to be."

"If he had any sense of decency he wouldn't be doing this to me."

Stefan punches the brick and turns around.

At this point, tears are streaming down my face. I wanted Stefan and me to part amicably. I guess that won't be possible.

"Good luck finding your way back to sanity without me, Elena."

Stefan storms into the house, grabs his jacket, and heads out. I don't wonder where he's going. I don't care. This just isn't worth the fight anymore.

Damon watched the whole scene from the kitchen window. As I enter the house, he eyes me suspiciously.

"I'm assuming that didn't go well."

"He hates me."

"If it helps, I bet he hates me more."

"He thinks you're taking advantage of me while I'm at my weakest."

"Am I?"

"I don't even know what my weakest is, Damon. I'm always falling apart and piecing myself back together. My life can't get much worse than it's been so what's the risk in trying?"

"That sounds vaguely familiar."

"I love you Damon, and I want to try. I can't guarantee that this whole thing is going to be all rainbows and butterflies, because that's not us. It'll probably be dark and difficult but it's been such a wild ride. Knowing you has thrown me for a loop. I just need this in my life. I'm sure of that."

Damon nods but doesn't speak up.

"I know you're doubting yourself because of what Alaric said. It doesn't matter. I love you, Damon. I told you that I've loved you since that day in the cemetery. I wasn't this torn up and insane then, was I?"

"I don't want to be your choice by default."

"You're not! Stefan sleeping with Rebekah just solved the problem of whether or not I'd be able to live with hurting him."

I'm in love with Damon Salvatore. And he's so stunned that he can't believe it's real. This is real. I know that I love him. Every moment I'm away from him I ache for his voice, his stare, and every other spine-tingling characteristic he possesses.

"I'm ready to take the risk," I say as I take his hand.

It's nearing nine and he's too tired to keep fighting it. Damon solemnly, yet hopefully, nods and grips my palm tightly. We symbolically drop our baggage and I lead him up the stairs to our room—the room both of our former selves lived in. All I want to do is spend the whole night lying in his arms, trying to find a way to move onward—together.

* * *

**Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I didn't edit this much for errors so I hope there aren't too many. I'm now on spring break so I'll be able to get a few updates in this month. Thanks so much for continuing to read the story! I hope you're enjoying it.**

**xoxo Liz**


	40. Hostile Reunions

Who would've thought that Damon, not Chicago, would be my undoing? How could Elena possibly do this to me? I haven't been cruel to her. I've always treated her well, excluding that summer. The main reason for my anger is the fact that I told myself I'd accept their relationship, but now I'm all worked up. I'm mainly pissed because I never thought they'd be in _love_. How can she already "love" him? She's just confused. Elena's so broken down by all of the occurrences of the past few months that she's falling apart. I've seen it before. Damon just happened to be there when I couldn't.

I need to sublimate my anger with something else. Though I'm angry with Klaus for bringing Rebekah here, he's the only friend I've got, so I give him a call.

"Stefan, I thought you'd never call me back," he laughs.

"Save the jokes. Meet me for a drink," I respond soberly.

"Why the mournful tone? Things not going so well with Elena?"

His tone isn't altogether sincere.

"She knows about Rebekah."

"Ah, it was only a matter of time. It's good that you two are already split then."

"Sure, whatever. I'll see you at eight."

The next few hours linger on. The anger builds inside of me like a rising tower of smoke. I'm not in the mood for Klaus's sarcasm tonight. Just one little comment could send me over the edge.

As I make my way to the pub, I notice a lonely blonde in a vibrant red dress standing on a street corner.

"Caroline?" I call out.

She rolls her eyes, throws her arms in the air, and walks over.

"Tyler's late. _Again_," she moans.

Poor Caroline. She's really outgrown Tyler in the last few months. Actually, she's outgrown herself in the past few months. The former shallow beauty queen has been replaced with a thoughtful daughter and compassionate friend.

"Well, I'd invite you to accompany me to the pub, but I'm meeting with Klaus and from your texts I figured you wouldn't be up for seeing him."

Caroline repeats her trademark eye roll.

"The man doesn't take no for an answer. If the circumstances were different, I'd love to be your date for the night," she laughs.

Having Caroline there might be a great buffer for my anger. There's got to be a way to convince her to come with me.

"I'm not sure if you heard but uh, Elena and I are done. For good."

"What? You've got to be kidding me. I was so sure she'd come to her senses once you came back to town…"

"Actually the opposite happened. She's uh….She's with Damon now."

Caroline's jaw drops, along with her bag. It hits the ground with a loud thud.

"You've got to be kidding me….Damon? No-callback, Matt-beating, DAMON?"

I didn't expect her reaction to be any different. She's far from being his biggest fan these days. Damon played her like a fiddle and she's well aware of it.

"That's the one," I respond.

"I'm shocked. I'm about to fall over. Is she out of her mind? Wait, who am I kidding? Of course she's out of her mind. She's a nutcase lately."

Caroline paces the sidewalk and continues ranting.

"He WOULD take advantage of the situation like this. What an ass!"

"History was bound to repeat itself I suppose."

"Not this time, Stefan. I'll talk to her. Don't give up, seriously."

"I'm not going to be that pathetic, crazy guy who waits around for months."

"You're not crazy. You're in love. You can't let go of that, especially a love like yours and Elena's. God, what's wrong with her?"

"Quarter life crisis, possibly," I quip.

"To hell with Tyler and forget Klaus, I'll come with you tonight. You need a friend. And a few drinks," she laughs.

Perfect. Now there's someone to stop me from beating Klaus to a pulp. I blame him for Elena finding out about Rebekah. He planned all of this from the start.

Caroline and I playfully stroll arm in arm into the pub. Across the room, I see Klaus seated at a table schmoozing his way into the hearts of the town's finest: Mrs. Lockwood and Sherriff Forbes.

"He's talking to my _mom_? Stefan, this guy's a psychopath. Where'd you find him?"

I chuckle.

"Chicago. I wouldn't say he's crazy, he's just extremely determined to have his way…"

Klaus immediately spots the two of us at the door. His jealous eyes almost burn holes in my arm. I drop Caroline's and walk towards the table.

"Stefan! Glad you could make it," Klaus calls, initially ignoring Caroline.

He stands from his seat to greet the focus of his daydreams.

"Caroline, always a pleasure," he breathes, adding a gentle kiss on her hand.

She quickly pulls away, glares back at him, and takes her seat.

"I'm surprised you brought me such a treat, Stefan. You seemed quite angry on the phone."

"Still am. Caroline's here so I don't rip your head off."

Klaus's grin fades.

"Oh yes, of course. I forgot. I forced you to spend the night with my sister and then lie to your dear Elena about it. Thank you for reminding me. Will you get us some drinks, love?" Klaus signals a waitress.

Caroline's face contorts and she interrupts.

"Your sister?"

"You haven't had the pleasure of meeting Rebekah, yet?" He questions.

"No, I can't say I have," she responds while eyeing me suspiciously.

"Caroline, I can explain."

"When?" She questions.

"The summer after junior year," I soberly admit

"Stefan!" she shouts.

"Can we talk about this in private?"

"Oh, please don't mind me. Carry on," Klaus turns to Caroline.

"You're just like your brother. God, Stefan. I thought you were crazy about Elena. How could you do that to her?"

"I was incredibly drunk, Caroline. There's no other excuse."

"How could you lie to her about it? To everyone?"

"Well first of all, it wasn't 'everyone's' business. And it would've done more harm than good to tell her. We wouldn't have had these last few years together if I would have!"

I can't convince anyone to be on my side. I fucked up, big time.

"Caroline, people make mistakes," Klaus chimes in.

Even Klaus senses the sincerity in my apology, but Caroline holds firm.

"When you love someone, you don't do that to them. You would never want to hurt them."

We sit in silence for a few minutes. The tension thickens.

"I should leave," Caroline groans and stands.

She walks a few steps forward until Klaus grabs her arm and incites a private conversation that, luckily, I can overhear.

"Listen, love. Stefan adores Elena. He's spent years regretting what he's done. Good people sometimes make bad choices. He'd never do anything like that consciously. Trust me, darling. He's not that exciting."

Caroline rolls her eyes.

"I get it. But I can't sit here with him and act like he didn't hurt my best friend. I have to see if she's okay."

"I'm surprised you're so quick to leave when your pathetic excuse for a boyfriend just pranced in the door."

All three of us turn and see Tyler walk in, talking to another familiar blonde. Rebekah is doting over Tyler's muscles in his fitted v-neck. We're all easily irritated by the sight.

Tyler spots Caroline and quickly notices her companion.

"What the hell?" he asks.

"Pardon you," Klaus interjects, "We were in the middle of a conversation."

"Oh, really? That's all it was? Listen, you need to stop bothering Caroline. She's spoken for."

"Actually, I'd like to think the lady could speak for herself. It takes two to have a chat, now doesn't it?"

Klaus chuckles at his own wit.

Caroline clearly admires that Klaus acknowledges her own independence, whereas Tyler treats her like a possession at times.

"I'm getting tired of your attitude. Aren't you a little old to be stalking high school girls?"

"Aren't you a little young to be out this late? Must be meeting your mother here. Couldn't go out past your bed time without mummy, now could we?"

He's really asking for it this time.

Tyler firmly grasps Caroline's hand and begins exiting our area of the pub.

"We're not finished," Caroline shouts to me.

"You must really like her to start a feud with the mayor's son," I sigh to Klaus.

"She's a rare gem, that one."

So is Elena, or so I thought.

"What do you think about what she said? About not hurting the one you love?"

Klaus sighs and slightly grins.

"All I know is that I'd never need another woman if I had the one that I want," he eyes Caroline on the other side of the room.

"It's not that I needed Rebekah. Everything was just so fast-paced and I was so stressed and scared…"

"And inebriated," he jokes.

"That too. I was young and stupid. Does that really mean I love Elena any less?"

"Not exactly, but the fact that you put yourself in a situation where you could make such a mistake shows your lack of confidence in your relationship."

"How could I have been so stupid?"

"Stefan, it's been years. Let it go. Live while you can."

"Even Caroline, the head captain of team Stefan, has given up hope."

"Then you move on. What's meant to be is meant to be, brother. It'll happen if it must."

I sit back in my chair and contemplate which path to take from here. I could move on and attempt to find another love, but how could it ever compare to my feelings for Elena? She'll probably always have a hold on me. Or I could be the only one who has hope. I could keep fighting for her. Who's going to pull her back from the edge now? Damon has his own agenda. Her friends are steering clear at this point. But what can I do? I think the best option is to try to move on until she finds her way again.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

"Plenty of exciting opportunities could come your way while you wait, my friend!"

"I'll drink to that!"

I settle back as I take my first sip of whatever strong concoction the barkeep has fixed up for the two of us. The alcohol warms my throat and sinks into my stomach. But this once, I'm not numb. I'm neither happy nor sad. Maybe this is my basis for the future. This is where my new chapter begins.

* * *

**Wow, it's been over a month since I last posted a chapter. I'm so sorry it's been such a long hiatus. I've been on vacation and this chapter had me stumped. I had a bit of writer's block so this wasn't my best work, it was more of a filler. The drama will pick up again next chapter. Also, if there are any grammatical errors I apologize. I just wanted to get this posted to keep the story going. Thanks so much for your patience and comments!**

**xoxo Liz**


	41. Passionate Hysteria

**Thanks so much for bearing with me and my crazy schedule. School is finally finished so I can get back to updating the story. I hope FFYE is still keeping you engaged. Please excuse the typos that may result from my lack of time to edit. When I wrote these past few chapters a couple months back the plot was kind of dwindling, but it definitely picks up in 42 so keep reading! I promise you won't be disappointed!**

**xoxo**

* * *

I would say this has been the best twenty four hours of my life, had I not realized that Elena is losing her mind. Maybe she's just trying to cope with all the changes in her life, but in the process she's losing herself. She's not the girl I met just a few months beforehand. Yet, I still love her. No matter who she is or what she's going through my feelings won't change. I suppose that's a good sign?

It's sometime in the morning, as I see the sun shining through my thin white curtains. Reality sinks in—but a good reality. We're lying in my bed. Elena's head is resting upon my shoulder. When she's deep asleep, she snores. I find it adorable, actually. It's comforting to see her asleep.

She is so beautiful. Awake or asleep, her face radiates this mysterious beauty that I've never seen in a woman. Her chocolate brown hair is draped across the pure white pillow case. It appears to be softer than the silk sheets. Everything about her reminds me of some goddess or Amazon.

Yes, she's here with me. But does she really love me? Why can't I just accept it and be happy? I don't think I'm taking advantage of the situation. We've been dancing around this for months, even before the accident. But why would she love me? She has Stefan. He's got the Salvatore good looks, charm, and hell, he's even a decent guy: something I can't be. I don't want to question her affections, but I can't blindly believe she's in her right mind, either.

Finally, Elena awakens. She opens her eyes and looks up at me with a big grin.

"Good morning," she breathes.

I smile back, taking in every second of this moment. She's the only one who looks at me that way, you know. She sees things in me that no one else can.

Eventually, I look away and begin to get out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asks.

"I figured I'd go check on Stefan."

"I think that's a horrible idea. He shouldn't even know you slept over."

She nods angrily.

"So this is just a big secret?"

"No, I just don't want him to get the wrong idea, pass it along to Alaric, and then I'm known as the douchebag who takes advantage of women."

"Why do you keep bringing that up? How could you doubt anything that's been going on between us?"

"Elena, I've never been happy. No one has ever allowed me even five minutes to just have something I want and enjoy it. I don't know why this would be any different."

"Damon, I love you. I know I love you, but I'm not going to constantly try and prove myself. And we might as well rip the band aid with the Stefan thing because it's going to get worse before it gets better anyways."

I nod. This is exactly what scares me. Where's the tone of compassion and concern her voice used to echo? I'm beginning to blame myself. Am I the reason she's so different?

"Rip the band-aid? Real compassionate."

"I'm too nice when it comes to Stefan. I've let too much go and I'm tired of letting him walk all over my life."

Why do I feel bad for Stefan? I need to stop asking myself all these ridiculous questions. Elena loves me. She's a train wreck but she loves me. I should be taking full advantage of this, yet I'm pitying my slime ball brother. Maybe that's because I know he's really not a slime ball. He deserves Elena a hell of a lot more than I do.

"I get it. Just be careful. Don't lose yourself because you're upset."

"Who's myself, Damon?" she says as she saunters towards the bedroom door," There's no me to lose."

Elena carefully strolls out the door and down the staircase. I stand gaping at the open door. Who could've known Elena's tiny identity crisis in the fall would blow up to amount to all of this?

I think it's about time I see my brother. We need to settle our disputes and decide on how we'll move forward regarding the Elena situation. I know before I had the "to hell with it" attitude, but at the end of the day Stefan and I need to make peace. Seeing Elena act the way she has been lately has kind of made things click for me. That's how I act towards him all the time: carrying around this bitter grudge. Sire, it's fun, but where does it end?

A few minutes later I'm downstairs in the kitchen.

"He's not here," Elena announces.

I guess Stefan never came home last night. That's quite out of character. Good for him. The guy really needs to get laid.

Luckily, it's a small town. It's only a matter of minutes before someone is able to point me in the direction of Klaus's apartment. Besides Caroline, Klaus is Stefan's only friend in town. He's bound to be there.

As I knock on the solid cement door leading to Klaus's tiny abode, alcohol and bad decisions already permeate the air. I've got to say I'm pretty excited to see this other side to my boring brother.

A tall British man with brownish-red locks opens the door with a sleepy grin.

"Damon Salvatore in the flesh! Won't you please join us? Your brother was just waking up," Klaus greets.

Stefan is sprawled out on the drab, ancient carpet face down.

"Yikes, not a good look for you, brother," I admit as I scan his pale visage.

"What are you doing here?"

"Thought I'd join the party."

"Three's a crowd. Sorry."

"Weird. You didn't seem to mind when the third member of team douchebag was Klaus's perky blonde sister."

Low blow, but effective.

Stefan stands and shakes his head.

"I should've known you came here to gloat."

"Gloat about what? How your ex girlfriend is in love with me while in the midst of a mental breakdown? Oh yeah, everything is just a picnic for me."

"She needs help, Damon. All you're doing is messing with her mind."

Maybe Stefan's right. Therapy couldn't hurt. She's clearly not herself. That's really why I'm here, though. I know Alaric and Stefan are right. Elena's not in her right mind and I shouldn't be doing this with her until she's better. I owe her that much.

"Listen, I came here to make peace. I want us to find some common ground and I want to get Elena some help as bad as you do. So let's work together on this and stop acting like dicks to one another because it's getting us nowhere."

Stefan remains silent and walks to the fridge to pour himself a glass of water. He reaches up onto the top shelf of the cabinet for ibuprofen.

"I think she could use therapy, but it's got to be her choice. And Damon I can't do anything about it. She won't talk to me. You'd have to do it."

"I can try. I'll talk to Rick."

"Yeah, because he's your biggest fan," he sarcastically quips.

"He owes me one."

We awkwardly stand in silence for at least a minute. I play back all our options in my mind. What are we doing? Are we really being this dramatic? Elena doesn't need therapy. She's just stressed and frustrated. What she needs is time with her friends and family—time away from us Salvatores.

"Do you really think therapy's wise?"

"She's not herself, Damon."

"She's not herself or she's not the 'self' that loved _you_?"

"Really? Really, Damon?"

"I'm just saying. Maybe we're being a little hasty. Everything she knows is crumbling. She just needs time to adapt. And doesn't she have a say in this? We can't just sign her into therapy."

"I should've known you liked things the way they were."

Stefan points towards the exit and goes to open the door.

"Stefan, I'm looking out for her, too. But I think there might be better ways of dealing with what she's going through: like actually talking it all out."

"So, what, are you suggesting family therapy or something?"

"Not exactly, but maybe everyone who's been affected by all the bullshit of the past month or so should get together and talk things out. She needs honesty and support. We all do."

Group therapy is exactly what we all need, minus the therapist, of course. I don't think one shrink could handle our truckloads of crazy in a year of sessions. This is actually a genius idea. I'm surprised I didn't think of it earlier. Everyone just needs to talk. Not to mention, they'll all see how compassionate and supportive I am so they won't think I'm taking advantage of the situation anymore. This is perfect.

"This is what we're doing. Wow, I'm really glad we didn't go with your plan. Really dodged the bullet there!"

Gun jokes still aren't funny to me.

"Well, you can count me out. I'm not going to show up to a dinner party where everyone hates me."

"Oh come on, Stefan. It's not that bad. I'm always that guy and I manage to make the best of it!"

He shakes his head disapprovingly and continues towards the door.

"You know this is a good plan. And I think you of all people should be there since you're the reason she's so pissed."

Stefan fiddles with his thumbs and bites his lip. His expression shows contemplation and hesitation. He won't walk into a house full of insinuations. That'd hurt his oversized ego.

"Caroline knows, which means everyone knows. The people that were on my side aren't anymore."

"People fuck up, Stefan. As much as it pains me to say this at a time when I should gloat, I'm not going to judge. You were drunk, young, and stupid. It happens. I've got your back this once. So just show up and hand me my bourbon when things are getting dull, ok?"

Stefan nods hesitantly and opens the door.

"Just let me know when to show up."

I slyly salute my brother and add a last remark.

"And please do leave the babbling British siblings home. We don't need any more chaos."

I turn and walk down the steps. To the side of the flat I see two extremely beefy men exchanging quiet words. The scene looks a bit shady and I've got business to do, so I continue on my way to see my buddy/man who tried to kill me, Alaric.

* * *

"Absolutely not," Alaric responds firmly.

"What? Why not?"

I thought this plan was fool proof! What reservations could Rick possibly have about everyone talking things out?

"That's the worst idea. It'll cause way more conflict than it will resolve."

"I don't think you're seeing the beauty of this. Elena can't move on until she gets over what's holding her back. She's angry about way too many things. Everyone's angry. Everyone's involved."

"And why is this your responsibility to take care of?"

"Because believe it or not, I care about Elena and I hate to see what she's going through. Things are changing and she's not going to be able to keep up if no one actually communicates."

"I see. So who would all be invited to this crazy therapy party?"

"I don't know, that's up to you. Stefan should definitely be there despite his own reservations. Then I think Bonnie, Jeremy, Matt, Caroline, etc: the whole clan I suppose."

"This is nuts, Damon."

"Well you owe me one, Rick. And you owe her one million."

He nods agreeably. Rick feels completely responsible for the family's decline so playing off that will be my best bet.

"I'll call them. I highly doubt Matt or Caroline want to hear from you."

"Thanks, Rick," I say as I exit the former Gilbert family home.

This place doesn't feel lived in anymore. Maybe that's because my only connection to the Gilbert family has spent more of her time in my home than in her own. It's time to bring her back here. And I'm going to be the one to do it. Having everyone together is the key to solving all the conflicts. What could possibly go wrong?


	42. Walking Travesty

The midday sun is glowing on my skin. I am alive. Or maybe I'm just comfortably numb. Is there a difference? The frigid air flows in through a tiny crack in the solid oak door. I love winter. I see it as a time for healing and repair. Not to mention, I adore Christmas and the holidays aren't far off. This will be my first Christmas without Stefan in the past few years. I can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing.

Maybe a walk will do me some good. I could use the fresh air. I slip on my modish combat boots and slither into my chocolate brown winter coat. The weather is welcoming, though frigid. This town is a horrible reminder of a life wasted. There's no place I'd like to be right now. Even walking the sidewalks is unbearable. From a distance I spy the all too familiar marina. I haven't been there since the accident. Being the abnormally morbid girl that I am, I begin my trek towards the docks.

As I approach the garage in front of which I held Damon's lifeless body, I discern voices. Quickly, I duck behind the wall and attempt to listen in.

"What the hell is this? Did I not tell you we needed a stock about three times the size of this last week? Simply unacceptable," a thick British accent groans.

"Look, I'm sorry. I tried. This isn't exactly my forté," another male voice responds.

"Tyler, I swear I will rip you limb from limb if this goes wrong. Better yet, I could just reveal your less than reputable activities to your lovely lady friend."

"If you go near her, I swear I'll end you. I'll end all of this."

"Don't be so hasty with those threats. My buyer will be here in a few hours. You have one hour to find the rest of this order or you're finished in this town. You may depart," says Klaus with a directional point.

As Tyler shuffles past the garage, I notice what the two had been arguing about.

Klaus's order was quite a few kilos of cocaine.

Well, I just busted my first drug deal. There's a first for everything, I suppose. What have I gotten myself into? Actually, what has Stefan gotten himself into? He brought a drug dealer back to Briarview. Is he out of his mind? I've got to tell someone. I've got to do _something_.

I begin to make my departure but it's evident that Klaus hears my sudden footstep. He turns the corner and as our eyes meet I take off running. Unfortunately, I've never been an excellent runner. Klaus easily takes hold of my arm and drags me across the sidewalk back to the garage. He pulls me inside the garage and presses the red-lit button to close the door.

"Elena, I knew you were greedy but I never took you for a snoop."

"Let me go," I demand firmly.

"You see, it's not that easy, love. You've stumbled upon something that must be dealt with carefully."

"I don't care about your drug business, Klaus. I just want to leave."

I take note of my surroundings. The storage shed we're in is poorly lit and is littered with boxes full of old papers and files. There are no exits besides the main overhead and a small door towards the back. I could never make it past Klaus to make my escape.

"Elena, let's not jump to conclusions. Tyler and I were having a little chat about business."

"That's fine. I don't care."

Klaus stares intently in my direction with a devilish grin. He's up to something, and I don't like it.

"Klaus, please let me go. I mean you no harm. I didn't see anything today. I just want to go."

"I really wish I could let you, love."

"Stefan wouldn't like this. He's your only friend here. Do you really want to mess that up?"

"Oh so now we're concerned about Stefan? Strange. I don't think he cares much about your whereabouts at this point. Sorry to disappoint."

Great. This is the moment I need Stefan more than ever. What if Klaus is more dangerous than I know? Would he actually kill me? I look up and then down. Please, God, let Tyler make it back in time.

About thirty minutes pass. It feels like three days, but the clock on the wall calls me out on my mistake.

"If you're going to kill me please get it over with. I can't stand another minute in this awful shed. Especially with company such as you," I declare.

"Elena, I'm hurt. Do you really think I'd maim you? Stefan is like a brother to me. He'd be crushed!"

"I thought he didn't care much about my 'whereabouts' these days."

"We both know I was bluffing. Either way, I'm not going to hurt you. Why kill you when I could use this to my advantage? Elena, you're my key to the town. You'd make a wonderful ally."

A chuckle escapes my lips. Klaus isn't pleased.

"Did I miss the joke?"

"I can't believe you think I'd actually help you."

"Oh, innocent Elena. I can't believe you think you have a choice!"

"I do. And I choose 'no.' I won't help you sell drugs to everyone in Briarview. Are you stupid? This is a wholesome community and you'll be found out any day now."

"Even more naïve every minute! To begin, this town is far from wholesome. Your corruption is evident of that in itself! Would you really say no and allow one of the town's own's bad habits to be revealed to all? Poor Jeremy Gilbert wouldn't fair well in prison under possession charges, now would he, love?"

My heart sinks. My one weakness: Jeremy. What could he possibly have over Jeremy? It is true that he had a bad habit of smoking pot following our parents' death, but Jenna and I saw to it that he quit.

"Jeremy hasn't touched the stuff in years. Nice try, though. It's flattering that you've done your homework on my family."

"Homework? Elena, your pathetic younger brother made quite the hefty purchase from Tyler just a few days ago!"

He must be bluffing again. There's no way. Jeremy's doing so much better now. It's been so long… Then again, we all thought I'd be better by now and look where I ended up. How could I let Jeremy get so far off course?

"Shocked, are you? He really stocked up, you know. Bought some hard product, too. Now, Elena, you can protect your sweet baby brother with your silence and your aid."

He's got my silence, that's for sure. But there's no way I can help Klaus with such a degrading cause.

"Fine. I'll keep quiet and do anything you say but I will not help you sell your 'product.'"

"Brilliant. I knew you'd see the light. And I don't need your help with sales, Elena. It's Stefan I'm concerned about."

"I'm not getting back together with Stefan. I can't forgive him."

"That's not my problem. To be quite honest, he should move on from you. He's got the potential to do much better. But he's no fun when he's in pain. So I'd prefer you not see his brother."

Then it hits me. Klaus is trying to get me to break up with Damon? That's his diabolical plan? This is absolutely ridiculous. I will not stop seeing Damon. We're finally in a good place.

"You're delusional," I snarl as I attempt to pull away.

"Elena, I'm being completely serious. It's tearing the poor man up inside. We can't have that, now can we? He's my key to this town. I need him at his strongest."

"I thought I was the key to this town."

"On the contrary, darling, you're the key to Stefan regaining his confidence. In turn he'll be my biggest aid."

"I'm not going to stop seeing Damon."

"I think it's in your best interest to do so, love."

"Well, I won't. Sorry to foil your master plan."

"And why's that?"

"Because I love him."

"Ah, and now it seems as if you're the delusional one, doesn't it?"

Klaus has crossed far too many lines and it's about time I call him on his bluff. He wouldn't do that to Jeremy. If he hurts Jeremy, he hurts me, in turn hurting Stefan. He wouldn't risk losing his only ally, would he?

"You're bluffing. You know outing Jeremy would upset Stefan."

"Do you really think I'd make the trail easily lead back to me? He'd never know. Elena, Jeremy would be arrested. Either way, the damage is done. Are you really willing to risk it? I've thought of every possible scenario, love. I wouldn't offer up such an ultimatum without having done all the math."

What if Jeremy isn't even doing drugs? Klaus could easily be bluffing.

"I want proof."

Klaus chuckles and turns away.

"Do you think I'd blackmail you without proof?"

He pulls out his smartphone and on the screen is a photo of Jeremy taking an obvious bag of drugs from Tyler Lockwood's hands. That photo would incriminate both of them. Great, now what do I do?

"Why would you do this?"

"For the greater purpose, of course!"

"Really? Because it seems like you're just trying to mess with some teenagers for fun."

"You wish I was that simple, don't you? Take your pick, Elena. Stay silent about what you've seen and say goodbye to Damon Salvatore, or watch your little brother's life be ruined by your own selfishness," he offers up with a large grin.

"You're sick."

"Which will it be, Elena? I don't have all day."

He knows I'd never let Jeremy suffer. He knew from the beginning I'd agree. I wouldn't risk it. I'm still not a risk taker. Maybe I can find a way around this. Klaus isn't around often. I can still see Damon. And he can have my silence. I wouldn't be the one to bust drug deals anyway. This might be okay.

"We have a deal."

"There's a good girl. We'll be in touch," Klaus says as he exits the marina.

I'm left stunned. Did I really just stumble upon a drug deal and end up signing my soul over to the dazzlingly charming British devil? What a town this is….

My phone buzzes seconds later with a text from Alaric.

**Can you meet at home tonight? Your friends are coming over.**

How strange. Why wouldn't my friends just text me? Either way, it'll be good to see Rick. I need to get in touch with my family and friends again. I feel as if I'm slipping away.

**Sure, what time?**

I anxiously await a response. I wonder what this all could be about.

**6:00**

Well, I'll know at six. Another buzz suddenly sounds. This time, however, it's my new overseer.

**Stefan's told me about tonight's gathering. I'd love to accompany you. It's not a request. **

Now I'm surely confused. Stefan's going to be at this get together: aka _it's an intervention_. This is absolutely ridiculous.

**You can forget it because I'm not going xoxo**

I can't believe Rick would blindly lead me into a trap like this.

**You're mistaken. You'll be attending. Pick you up at Salvatores at 5:50 sharp.**

Is it even worth arguing with Klaus? No, I'll walk straight into this ambush and tell all of them exactly where they can stick their advice.

Actually, maybe I should do the opposite. If I convince them that I'm fine, maybe they'll leave me alone. I can't deal with the constant Elena suicide watch they're always on. Hmm, this seems to be the better plan. If I cause a scene they'll never let me hear the end of it.

So there's my plan. I'll act just as sensible and happy as ever. Hell, I'll even be polite to Stefan. I'll play them all until the very last one exits the house. Then I'll walk back to Damon's and back to my true emotions.

* * *

It's 5:50 and Stefan's car pulls into the driveway. I hate sitting here waiting for Klaus. I should be able to do as I please. Where's my free will in any of this?

A door swings open.

"Elena, we're running late," Klaus bellows.

Damon saunters down the stairs before I get the chance.

"I thought I gave specific instructions not to bring Daniel Craig."

Stefan shrugs his shoulders as Klaus speaks up.

"Elena invited me, didn't you, love?"

Klaus looks up the stairs straight into my eyes with a disguised fury.

"Yes," I concede.

Damon eyes me suspiciously. What kind of cover story could I invent on such short notice? Why would I possibly invite Klaus? My mind jumps and tumbles in circles.

"Well?" Damon asks .

"Well….I know exactly what's going on tonight and I figured I could use an objective buffer."

Klaus grins, but Stefan and Damon aren't exactly buying it. However, they don't question my response in hope that I won't be angry about the intervention.

I angrily grin back at Klaus as I step down the stairs. Klaus offers his hand and I dare not refuse. He opens my door and I take my familiar seat in Stefan's car. Klaus opens the backseat door and Damon tries to step in. Much to his dismay, though, Klaus prevents his entrance.

"I think we'd all prefer it if you drove yourself, Damon."

Klaus and Damon both look to me, searching for some kind of acknowledgment.

"We're all going to the same place…We'll just meet you there," I respond with a heavy heart.

Damon glares through the glass car window.

It's just for now. He'll understand eventually, I hope. I place my hand to the window reassuringly while glancing down. He has to know something isn't right…

We drive down the winding path to my house. Damon's camaro is nowhere to be seen. I wonder if he's even going to bother to show up at all. I wouldn't. I wish the two of us could just drive away from here and not look back.

Klaus and Stefan walk me to the door as if I'm a fragile bird who's broken its wing. I can't stand this.

Rick greets us warmly and shies away from me. He knows I'm upset about this trap.

"You know, this isn't just for you. It's for everyone," he justifies.

I nod. He means well.

Finally, I leave Stefan and Klaus's sides and find an open spot on my couch. This gives me some sense of comfort for a while. I spot Matt across the room and for some reason his presence comforts me. I love Matt. He's reliable, and he's probably the only sane male in the room. He's just so supportive and doesn't treat every single moment as if it's life or death. Matt's practical. Practicality is what I need.

Matt approaches me like there's not a worry in the world. I stand and hug him tight.

"How are ya doing?"

"I'm good, Matt. I really am."

I'm sure he knows I'm lying but he also knows to let me be. He's great at reading people, unlike Stefan and Damon who don't know when to quit.

Suddenly, my friends and family start taking seats around the living room. Because _this_ isn't threatening at all.

Surprisngly, Damon appears from the kitchen and takes a seat on the staircase, somewhat distant from the group.

Rick stands.

"Thanks for coming, everyone. I figured it's been a while since we all got together. A lot has happened in the past month. I think it'll help a lot of us to just be here, together, and talk. "

This is absolutely ridiculous. We're not going to dance around the fact that they're trying to fix me.

"Listen," I stand, "I think we all know we're here because you all think I'm depressed and losing it. Well, I'm fine, but I'd be more than happy to catch up with everyone. So let's just get passed the awkwardness and say what we're actually doing here."

I sit back down. Caroline looks awfully surprised. Clearly I'm not playing myself very well.

After my semi-outburst, everyone goes back to talking amongst themselves. Stefan slyly takes a seat beside me once Matt leaves to grab a drink.

"What?" I say sharply.

Uh, I really need to watch myself. Stefan's heading this whole thing I'm sure. I need to convince him that I'm just the same as I always was.

"Sorry, I'm just a little tense about this whole thing," I apologize.

"Don't worry about it. Believe it or not, this wasn't my idea, so, I'm sorry."

Now I'm really thrown for a loop. Stefan's the only one who's overbearing enough to plan such a charade.

"Then who put you all up to this?"

"It was your boyfriend, actually."

The word boyfriend hits my ears strangely. It's like a loud pang. It doesn't sound right. Is that really what Damon is? Or should I say 'was' thanks to Klaus. So Damon called for this intervention. Why? Is he really that convinced that I don't love him? Is he really that shocked?

"He's not my boyfriend and I'm actually shocked that he'd do this."

"I think he's trying to be the person you want him to be. It's coming off kind of creepy."

I chuckle.

A few minutes pass in silence. Stefan looks around, trying to pass the time. Eventually his deep stare catches mine again.

"So, uh, you two aren't seeing each other? Because after our conversation the other day, I came away with quite a different impression."

What can I say? I quickly glass behind my shoulder and there stands Klaus. He'll be there whenever I turn, won't he? But how can I tell Stefan that Damon and I aren't together before I even break the news to Damon?

"It's just… not going to work. There've been complications."

He nods.

"I see."

"But that doesn't change things," I say firmly.

"Do you want to go upstairs and talk?"

"Not particularly."

He's trying to get me alone so he can convince me to come crawling back and forgive him. I can't.

"Elena, I really want to talk to you about what happened but I want us to be able to speak freely. We have quite a few eavesdroppers."

I turn to my left, and then to my right. I didn't even notice that not only Klaus, but Damon is also listening intently. They both try to play it off as if they're idly standing around. Damon's concerned now, but just imagine his suspicions when I walk upstairs with his brother.

"Please," Stefan implores.

"I suppose."

I follow Stefan up the grand staircase leading to my room. This whole scene is frighteningly familiar. His scent lingers in the air as I saunter down memory lane. Stefan led me up this same staircase just a few years back. Everything was so passionate and beautiful back then. I was trying so hard to forget and fill the hole in my heart. He sufficed. If I fell back into him tonight, I wouldn't mind. He's comfortable and familiar. It's an easy out.

He grabs my hand as we approach my door. He feels it too—the familiar spark of the first time, and all the subsequent encounters. I miss his touch. I miss his scent. I miss the times before everything was so complicated.

I sit on my bed and he sits down beside me.

"So, how does one start a conversation about cheating on the love of his life?"

I laugh quietly. It's awkward for both of us, but part of me really does want to talk about it. I want to know how he could do this.

"So Caroline raised an interesting point to me the other night. She said that if I truly loved you, I wouldn't have done what I did. And I'll be honest with you, Elena, that scared the hell out of me."

"As it should."

"I thought about it for a while. Klaus even vouched for her point but I want to disagree. I can never make an adequate excuse for what I did. Nothing will do. I could go on and on about how I was drunk and totally out of my right mind, but why would I even put myself in a situation where I could do something like that? So I started thinking about why I was drinking in the first place. At the time, I refused to even touch alcohol because of my father and because of how it made my brother act. But then I remembered why I thought just for that trip it was okay."

Stefan's really baring his soul here. And part of my heart is aching to forgive him and let him back in, but another part won't let him: because that part belongs to Damon. That part wants me to move on and love recklessly. I don't know if I can.

"Why's that?" I question.

"I was terrified. Believe it or not, I was afraid of where I was headed. At the time, I didn't know if I was going to stay in Briarview with you or leave to find something else. Part of me was dying to be reckless and move to a big city—_try something new_. But the other part of me knew I belonged here with you. This internal struggle was just tearing me apart because I really thought my calling was in Chicago. And that last night I just wanted to forget and not deal with any of it, so I decided to drink. And drink. And drink until I was senseless."

Way to load on the guilt, Stefan. I get it, we ruined each other's lives. Is he blaming me for his transgressions or is he being sincere? I can't even tell at this point.

"So you drank because you were scared?"

"I drank because I was freaked out. I didn't know where my life was headed and I was on the verge of losing everything if I left home. And I hated myself for even wanting to leave. It wasn't a good time for me, so I made bad decisions which led to more bad decisions. And then that led to more hating myself. So, I'd say I'm sorry but clearly that doesn't even cover it. I don't know, Elena. I was scared. People go a little nuts when their introduced to different worlds. I think you can understand that."

It's like Stefan's peering into my soul. Chicago is Damon and Briarview is Stefan. Being so torn does lead to madness. I'm living proof of that. What am I supposed to do now? I understand why Stefan let himself lose control. Do I forgive him? What else can I do?

"You're clever, Stefan Salvatore. Making your summer into a metaphor for my love life."

He laughs slightly.

"I just thought you'd understand not knowing where your life is going. We've kind of been in the same boat all along. We just never talked about it."

"I suppose you're right. So, now what?"

"I don't know, Elena. I just want to work up to earning your forgiveness."

"It takes too much energy to hate you. I think I forgave you the second I saw what hating you was doing to me."

"Well, tell me next time you forgive me so I don't have to spend an eternity feeling awful."

"Oh, you should still feel awful," I jibe.

A deafening silence ensues.

"So, I assume you want to talk about what's going on between Damon and me."

"We don't have to if you don't want to."

"But I'm sure you feel just as betrayed as I do."

Stefan looks down, but I can see it in his eyes. I never wanted to hurt him like this, even if he did the same.

"It doesn't matter, Stefan. You won't have to deal with it anymore because it's done."

He laughs.

"Is it though? I thought you 'loved' him?"

I roll my eyes. What do I know about love?

"I think I do, but it won't work."

"And why's that?"

Because your psycho best friend is blackmailing me with the freedom of my stoner brother.

"It's too complicated and we're too different."

"You're just realizing how different you two are?"

How condescending. Actually, Damon and I are similar in so many ways that no one but us can see.

"Sure. I guess you could say that," I feign.

Stefan nods, obviously relaxing himself. What a wave of a relief must be rushing through him right now.

"I'm sorry."

"Are you really?"

"Not entirely."

A tension surfaces. It's a sensation I haven't felt in ages. It's the familiarity that always gets me when it comes to Stefan. There's something about my connection to him. It's not shaky and frightening like my passionate connection to Damon. With Stefan, it's delicate. It's moments like this that characterize our best encounters: sitting in silence, brief exchanges igniting a spark.

I attempt to shake the familiarity overflowing within me. There's no looking back anymore, Elena. Stefan looks up and studies my nervous movements. The silence envelopes me in a warm embrace. I'm so uncomfortable being back here. I continue looking down and fiddling with my thumbs.

"Why won't you look at me?" Stefan inquires.

How does one answer such a loaded question? What does he expect me to say? Stefan, I'm trying to pick up and move on, but you keep pulling me back into intense memories. Bringing me up to my room was clearly a maneuver on his part. So many delicate, passionate recollections flood this dimly lit room. Everything is so different now. We're both so different than I thought we were just a month ago. How do I get past that and move on?

"I don't know, Stefan. It's easier not to."

He nods and falls back onto the bed in frustration.

"What happened to us?"

Good question.

"I wish I knew, but I think questioning the way things are is what dug us into this hole in the first place."

"I wish we could go back and just naively go along, you know? God, why couldn't we just let things be?"

I follow and fall back, even more frustrated with myself.

"But we can't," I reassure him.

"For now," he asserts.

Wouldn't it be nice to find my way back to being so naïve? To ignoring the mess of emotions swirling around inside me? To suppressing all the pain and hurt? I don't know if I'll ever be able to do that again.

"I'm glad there's no more bad blood, though, Stefan… I wish I could say the same for you and Damon."

"That began far before either of us even met you and it probably won't finish in any of our lifetimes."

How could he so blatantly express his dislike for his own brother? Well, they haven't really had a chance to actually bond. They were supposed to do that while Damon was in the hospital, but Stefan left to find Rick for _me_. They're the ones who need the group therapy, not me.

"Stefan, could you do one thing for me?"

"What's that?"

"Please, talk to your brother. Try to find some common ground. I'm out of the picture, okay? Just try. If it doesn't work out, fine. But he almost died. And don't you remember your reaction when that happened? You felt terrible for the way things would've ended between you two."

Stefan lets out a sigh.

"I'll see what I can do, Elena. But betrayal isn't an easy problem to mend."

"We've all betrayed each other in some form or another, Stefan. You and I forgave each other. Try."

He shrugs his shoulders, nods, and stands. Stefan offers a warm hand to help me up. I saunter towards the door and out of the room. Behind me, Stefan slowly pulls the door shut whilst glancing backwards in time.

We return down the stairs and waiting near the outer entrance of the living room is Damon. He's acting as if he's casually standing there, but I know he's been waiting for the two of us to finally return. His icy blue stare is as cold as ever. His face is almost contorted into an expression of rage. I can't help but feel guilty. Not only does he believe I'm avoiding him, but now I'm leaving my bedroom with Stefan. Maybe it's easier not to explain the situation. How am I supposed to tell him that Klaus is blackmailing me into not seeing him?

Stefan makes his final descent off the last stair, looks back at me reminiscently, and returns to the living room. I linger about the area in which Damon is standing. I give him a sympathetic and regretful half-smile. Then, I start towards the living room until Damon's tight grip wraps around my wrist forcefully.

"Damon," I say warning him.

"What is this, Elena?"

I glance around the room to make sure Klaus isn't around. I don't see him, so hopefully he's left.

"Do we have to do this here? I've got to appear relatively sane tonight."

"What'd I do? What went so horribly wrong that you had to go running back to Stefan?"

I wince and shake my head. He's got to know I'm not that fickle. I could never do that to him, but how do I explain myself?

"You didn't do a thing, Damon."

"Then why are you doing this to me? Do you think I can't tell when you're shutting me out?"

"We're bad for each other right now, okay? You clearly arranged this because you want me to feel better. Well, let me. And you go make amends with Stefan. I'm only standing in the way of that."

"Elena, come on! We both know what we have is much more significant than my relationship with my brother."

"And that's not right! Do you think I'd give up Jeremy to be with you?"

Damon seems unmoved by this question. Does he seriously think that little of family?

"Damon! It's so sad to see how little you think of your only living relative. You grew up together. You love each other!"

"I love you. That's all I know about _love_."

"Well then you've got a lot to learn and maybe you should work that on _first_."

He's in disbelief. He slams his glass down on an end table and storms out the front door.

I place my face in my hands and let three small tears stream down my horizontal cheek. Hopefully no one has noticed. Who am I kidding? Who wouldn't notice a door slam? I lift my head and look around the room. Everyone's gaze is fixed on the door.

Stefan approaches me out of concern.

"Are you alright?"

"Of course. I'm fine. He's just upset."

"Are you going to go after him?" Stefan asks uncomfortably, still only half-believing I've given up on Damon.

"Actually, you should go after him."

Stefan dons a quizzical look.

"I'm serious, Stefan. Go talk to your brother. I'll be here when you two get back."

Well, I managed to push Damon away without revealing the source of this new obstacle. I dream of the day Klaus and Rebecca take their classless asses back to Chicago. Despite the attempted murders and psychotic ex girlfriends, this town was much better before their arrival.

A hand presses gently down on my shoulder.

"Job well done, Elena."

Klaus's cold touch nauseates me. Everything about this is so horribly wrong. It's impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel until I spot my friends and family across the room. They've returned to their smiles and laughter. Jeremy's arm wrestling Matt while Caroline takes bets from the table. Bonnie's glowing as she watches her boyfriend display his strength. Alaric is seated a bit farther back than the others. He's smiling at the scene of normalcy presented before him. This is what my life needs more of. These people are the key to being everything I've been wanting to be.

I smile too.


	43. Fraternal Resolutions

"Damon wait," I call out, already half way down the street.

"Piss off, Stefan," he retorts.

This is a fruitless effort. Damon isn't going to listen and I don't have the intrinsic motivation to get this done. However, I continue following Damon down the street simply to please Elena.

"Come on, don't throw a tantrum."

He turns.

"A tantrum? Really, Stefan? This is Katherine all over again!"

"This is different and you know it."

"Either way, what you attempted tonight was a dick move."

What I did tonight was 100 percent friendly. Alright, maybe it was ninety-nine percent friendly. Part of me thought the sentimental trip down memory lane would not only soften Elena up but help her feelings for me resurface. Maybe I was being partially selfish, but I wasn't being malicious.

"I'm sorry, but my intentions weren't to hurt anyone."

"But you were selfish! You're always so fucking selfish yet I'm branded as the bad guy. Why's that, Stefan?"

Guilt fills my chest. It's true. I'm constantly screwing up and people just don't seem to notice. Yet, even I view Damon as a reckless jerk who puts himself first. Why is that?

"Damon, slow down," I say as my pace hastens.

I grab Damon by the shoulder and turn him around.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why that is, but I'm sorry, okay?"

"It's not enough!"

Damon's frustration has fully taken over. He's all disheveled, resembling a drunk though he's barely had anything to drink.

"I don't know what you want me to do. But I promise you I didn't try anything on Elena tonight. Even if I did, she said everything between you two was done."

Damon's eyes widen and his hands drop to his side.

"What? She said that?"

His eyes move frantically and he starts to walk away, but then returns.

"Stefan, are you sure she said that?"

She didn't seem sincere when she told me, but she still said it.

"Yeah," I admit.

Damon nods, bites his lip, and gets in the car.

I lean up against the window and knock as the window slowly rolls back inside.

"I'm sorry. "

He nods once again.

"I should've seen it coming."

I look down sympathetically. As much as I don't want Elena with Damon, I can't help but sympathize with my brother. Losing Elena Gilbert hurts like hell.

Damon pulls out of the driveway and speeds down the street. There's not much left for me out here, so I walk back inside.

Elena's been patiently loitering near the door, waiting for Damon's reappearance.

"He's gone."

She throws her delicate arms up in utter frustration.

"I don't know what else I can do!" she shouts and retreats to the dining room.

Instinctively, I follow her scent.

"Hey," I compassionately say as I touch her arm.

She turns to look at me with the sorrows of the universe weighing her lids down once again.

"When am I going to stop hurting people?"

"This is not your fault."

She dons a quizzical look.

"Really? Because I think I'm the one that keeps messing with his head, not you."

"Elena, he stormed off. It's what he does. He'll get over it."

Elena purses her lips and carefully crosses her arms. She paces the length of the room and then returns to her original spot.

"Did you try to stop him?"

"I did, but his anger kept escalating."

She stares into my eyes for quite some time, causing a bit of awkward silence. She knows what I told him, doesn't she?

"What'd you say?"

"What do you mean?"

"He wouldn't just walk out. He would've come back in here and tried to fix things."

I quickly look away to hide my guilt. I shouldn't have told him she said things were done. Clearly it was news to him. She's going to hate me for it.

"Stefan, what'd you say?" she says with an anger rising in her tone.

"I told him you said things were done… you did say that, Elena."

"Damnit, Stefan! Why do you have to try to hurt him like that?"

"I figured he would've known! How could you know things are over and he doesn't? I wasn't trying to hurt anyone!"

"No wonder he's so upset. God, Stefan, when are you gonna stop with these low blows?"

Just as I'm about to retort, Klaus casually strolls into the dining room and steps between us.

"And what's this couple's tussle regarding?" he says with a large grin.

Elena aggressively raises her hand to slap away his sly grin, but before she gets the chance Klaus' cat-like reflexes snatch at her hand and hold it into the air.

"You need to mind your manners, Miss Elena," he growls.

"Hey!" I shout, grasping her hand away from Klaus.

Elena continues her fierce scowl in Klaus' direction.

"What the hell is going on?" I ask.

Suddenly tension and bad blood fill the air. There's some sort of conflict between Klaus and Elena that I can't discern. I couldn't blame her for hating him. He is, after all, the cause of my moral indiscretions.

"Elena was growing a bit testy. Didn't mean to harm the lady, but I must defend myself, Stefan," Klaus rebuffs.

"I'm _done_!" Elena shouts back at him and runs out of the room.

Klaus chuckles.

"I didn't realize she had such an aversion for me. Rebecca's to blame, I'm sure."

I'm not so sure. I wouldn't be surprised if Klaus had said something to Elena after our fight. He tends to stick his nose where it doesn't belong. Klaus breeds chaos.

"If I find out you're messing with Elena, you will no longer be welcome in this town, are we clear?" I ask.

Once again, Klaus chuckles and grins.

"Don't worry, Stefan. I'm here to stay."


	44. Delicate Regards

Anger floods my thoughts, runs through my veins, and stings my skin. Anger turns to perspiration and mental anguish. Everything hurts. I'm no longer numb. I feel everything. I miss the numbness I felt when I returned to town. I wish I could push away all of the feelings I have for this girl. They're driving me insane. I've got to let this go.

I smash my fist into dark wood wall of the sitting room. My glass is kicked across the room, straight into the fire. How could it be over? It's over because we're different? She's throwing everything away after everything we've been through to get to this place? I've done everything. I've given _everything_. What more does she want?

Frustrated and compliant, I fall face first onto the antique sofa and dig my face into the pillows. My heart feels like it's been torn into two million pieces, not just from this one night, but also from all the times preceding this. This back-and-forth affection and devastation is killing me from the inside out. All my life, I've sacrificed everything for love. And what has love done for me? It's killed me. I'm left cynical and bitter.

A knock at the door wakes me from my intense contemplation. I don't want to see anyone. I want to be completely and utterly alone. Might as well face my fate starting now. The knocks continue, harder and louder.

"Damon!" a female voice calls out.

I relax back into the sofa and rest my head back, downing my newly poured glass of bourbon.

"Damon!" the voice repeats.

The bourbon is so soothing and my thoughts are so loud I can hardly discern the voice or its existence.

Hours pass and finally I drift off into sleep, or a drunken stupor, either way leads to forgetfulness. It's dark. I'm numb here. There are places you find in sleep where everything disappears. Nothing is felt, nothing is seen, and nothing is thought. I'm content.

A few slight knocks sound as I slowly open my eyes. Have I heard these knocks before? Did this evening's events even happen at all? I check my phone and see three hours have passed since I returned home. Maybe it's about time I discern the source of the disturbance. Slowly and cautiously, I approach the door and turn the knob.

Near my feet, resting against the door is an exhausted woman. No, rather, an exhausted young girl. Her dark hair is draped to one side of her neck, showing exasperation. She is half asleep and still thrusting her knuckles upon the door.

"Elena?"

Her eyes slowly open and she looks up. Elena slightly grins and reaches out her hand. I grasp it and help her stand.

"What are you doing here this late?"

"I've been here for hours but no one would let me in," she retorts.

"I'm sorry."

Why the hell is she here? I'm angry. I refuse to fawn over Elena and forgive her for this bullshit she keeps putting me through.

"Actually, no. I'm not sorry. God, Elena. What the hell are you doing to me?"

She frowns and wraps her arms around my waist.

"Damon, don't make me let go. I don't want to."

My arms are still at my side and I'm stunned. How do I respond to that? She doesn't want to leave. Then why is she?

"Then don't! It's simple, Elena."

"It's not. I wish it was. I really do."

"Explain it to me."

She looks up. There's a glow on her face that I rarely ever catch a glimpse of. She kisses my cheek softly and rests her head upon my shoulder.

"I can't. It won't make sense and there's nothing I can do about it."

"Then you should leave," I respond firmly while pushing her away.

I don't want to make her leave, but I can't stand here and wait anymore. If she doesn't think this is right, then it's not. And she needs to leave. Elena's arms drop to her side and sadness fills her eyes.

"I never meant to fall for you, you know. I never wanted to put you through this. But I needed you."

"Well clearly you don't anymore."

In the pale candlelight, her shadow falls upon the wall near the window: a psychedelic silhouette of colors dance upon the wall. She's incredibly beautiful and the way the candle light illuminates her features displays a myriad of colors I've never noticed before. How am I supposed to let her go when she transfixes me so?

"I do, Damon. You saved me when the fairytale I built up came crumbling down. With you, I found something real. And if I could hold on to it for the rest of my life I would. I really, really would."

Her words are full of passion and angst. It's obvious to me now that she doesn't want to leave. I don't want her to leave. What's pulling us apart? This unnatural cause is destroying the only thing I have faith in.

"Elena, don't go," I change my mind.

My gait turns into a sprint and I wrap my arms around her small frame.

"Tell me what the problem is because we both know we were willing to risk everything to give this a try. Nothing could've stopped us before. What happened?"

I'm begging her for an answer now. Why can't we be together? I don't believe a word she has said tonight about us 'not being right for each other.' She wants this. I want this.

"Some things in life are more important than being in love."

"Like what?"

"Family."

"Forget this bullshit with Stefan. I want you."

"It's not about Stefan. This is about my family and what I need to do. Please, just trust me on this. Give me time. I'll find a way."

I release her from my arms and step back. Her family is sacred to her. I can't overstep those boundaries.

"It's Rick, isn't it?"

"It could be, but maybe it's more than that. We've served our purpose for each other for now. If it's meant to work out, I'll find my way back here, okay? And when I do, we'll run away and love like fools. We'll forget the mess of complications we had to deal with to get to that point. It'll be poignant and wonderful."

There's nothing left to say. She's set in her decision and who am I to question it? Whatever the reason, it's much bigger than the two of us. I've got to let her go, again.

I step forward and kiss her forehead.

"I love you."

And just like that, I'm sucked back in.

* * *

**Okay, big mix-up in the story lately. A few people dmed/reviewed about a change in the story's main characters. I was told that we could now list three instead of two, so I added Stefan, considering a third of this story is from his point of view. Then, I guess only Elena G. and Stefan S. showed up on the story. Well, whoops. That's not indication of the "endgame" or which direction my story is taking. So don't panic and assume I've suddenly gone all Stelena crazy and changed my mind haha. There will be complications with Damon and Elena's relationship because without them, it would be boring. But I'm not writing off Delena at all. Thank you for your continued support of the story. If you could/would want to, share it with your fellow TVD fan friends because my following isn't quite what it was back when I was posting more. Again, thank you so much!**

**xoxo Liz**


	45. Premeditated Sorrow

I miss it all. The anticipation before the kiss. The thickest tension settling around our clouded minds. His sly smirks, my rosy bashful cheeks. We were so close—inches, even. I love Damon Salvatore. I'll go on loving Damon Salvatore until the day I die, I'm sure of it. How can I transcend this so I don't have to feel the loss? I could always kill Klaus, but I'm not Katherine. Human life, unfortunately, is far too precious to me.

Small rain drops flutter down upon the sidewalk as I make my journey home. Anger is growing inside my heart. I can feel it taking over. I wish I'd never allowed Stefan to search for Rick. Then we wouldn't be having these Klaus problems. As I turn a corner, I catch a glimpse of Jeremy standing by an oak tree in the park. He's frequently looking over his shoulder, so clearly he's up to no good.

My pace hastens and I full on dash towards him, barreling right into his chest.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Elena? I'm meeting a friend here. You've got to go. Now," Jeremy says sternly.

"What? Another one of your drug deals? God, Jeremy. I thought you were better than this."

He's stunned and takes a step back.

"Who told you?"

"I caught your dealer in the act."

Jeremy rolls his eyes.

"This is serious, Jer! Klaus isn't someone to be messed with."

"Don't you think I know that?"

"Then why are you doing this?"

"I'm not. I didn't admit to anything."

"You have a problem. This on and off thing with the pills has been going on for way too long."

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

He's shouting and raising his arms in the air. I'm not a parent! I shouldn't have to deal with any of this. How am I supposed to help my kid brother kick a drug addiction? This wasn't in the job description of big sister. Jenna helped him last time. How can I do this on my own?

"What can I do, Jer? Tell me. What do you need to stop doing this?"

"There's nothing you can do, Elena!"

"You're done. From this moment on, you're getting clean. This is causing problems for all of us, not just you."

"Really? How so? Because you had no idea this was going on until now."

"Well now I've got Klaus holding your freedom over my head. So I'm pretty aware of what's going on."

"What?"

Jeremy wouldn't let me be blackmailed for his misdeeds. I shouldn't have mentioned Klaus' deal.

"It's nothing."

"What is Klaus doing to you? I'm serious, Elena. Tell me."

I cave. I know my brother and Jeremy's not going to let this go.

"I caught him in a 'deal' I guess. In exchange for my silence and a few other requests, he won't turn you in."

"How could he do that without hurting himself? He's bluffing, Elena!"

"He seemed pretty serious. I'm not going to risk it. He said he had accounted for that."

"He's not going to the police. The worst he'd do is shoot me and I can outrun the stupid Brit any day."

My mouth drops open.

"Do you understand how serious that is? Klaus has a gun?"

"He's a dangerous guy but he handles all the justice himself. He wouldn't get me arrested."

"Even worse, he'd have you killed! Jeremy, I didn't know this was that big of a thing…"

"I'm going to take care of this. You're not going to pay for my problems."

Jeremy begins to walk towards his car until the subject of our conversation approaches with Tyler Lockwood at his side.

"Well, isn't this a pretty site. Miss Gilbert, you seem to have a habit of stumbling upon my business, don't you?" Klaus grins.

I remain silent. I've nothing to say to Klaus. Tyler compassionately looks at me. He was probably dragged into all of this just as I was. I sympathetically smile back at him as Klaus continues speaking.

"So, I assume you've spilled all the details of our agreement?"

"She's not complying, Klaus. You're not stupid enough to go to the police. I'll face some time for possession but your whole organization would go up in flames."

Klaus chuckles in response and looks around.

"You're smart, little Gilbert. But we both know at the first sign of danger your sister would've gone running straight to one of the Salvatores. Now that you've explained my dynamic, I'm sure, she may understand the much more severe consequences of revealing any of my operations."

"And what's that, Klaus? Are you going to kill me?" I quip.

"Am I amusing to you? Do you really take this so lightly?"

In a matter of seconds, Klaus retrieves a weapon from his back pocket and aims straight at Jeremy's leg, like something straight out of a video game. Bang.

Everything goes black. Panic ensues and I can hardly breathe. What just happened? Where are we? Is this even Briarview?

Jeremy's moan calls me back to action.

"Aghhh!"

"That's a flesh wound. He'll heal. I'll be in touch, Elena. Don't test me," Klaus says with a sinister retreat.

"Jeremy! Oh my god. Oh my god. Just hold on."

This cannot be reality. No one just pulls out a weapon in daylight and points it at a teenage boy. My mind is spinning, trying to rationalize what just took place. Klaus has to be psychotic. There's no other explanation.

Blood is pouring out of Jeremy's leg as the crypt keeper strolls down the avenue. This is déjà vu. Once again, I'm holding someone I love in my arms after they've been attacked. This really is serious. If Klaus is willing to shoot Jeremy in public, who knows what he'd do in private. Stop thinking, Elena. Help Jeremy.

I frantically search my bag for my cell phone. Where is it? Why is it always so hard to find when I desperately need it? Eventually, it turns up in my hand and I dial 911. An ambulance is on its way. Can we go to the hospital? How do I explain the shooting without getting the police involved? When did everything become this complicated?

"We have to get out of here," Jeremy mutters.

"What? No, the ambulance is on its way."

"Yeah, and so are police."

"It's fine, Jer. I'll take the fall. It was my drug deal with a stranger gone bad. I don't know. We'll figure it out."

"Elena, no. Get me out of here. I'm serious."

"I'm not taking that risk!"

"Trust me."

Jeremy's right. It's a flesh wound. We can figure this out without doctors… I think? This is absolutely ridiculous. Hospitals are supposed to be safe havens.

"Right after this we're getting you straight to rehab. We can't do this anymore," I say as I attempt to lift my little, yet large, brother.

I wrap his arm around my neck and we slowly and clumsily head back towards the Salvatore boardinghouse.

"Stefan! Stefan!" I shout whilst banging on the door, pleading for aid.

Why am I calling for Stefan? Damon lives here too. Some part of me nostalgically returns to the time where Stefan was the answer to all my problems. He could fix anything. He'll always be there.

That's the one thing I'll never doubt about Stefan: his dependability.

My knight in shining armor swings open the door and his eyes bug out in bewilderment.

"What happened?"

Shit. DIdn't I just learn not to double cross Klaus? How am I going to explain this to Stefan? Looks like it's time for even more lies.

"Jeremy was attacked. Drug dealer, bad neighborhood, ill explain later. We need to get him help!"

"I'll call an ambulance," Stefan suggests urgently.

"Are you really that dim? 'Drug deal' isn't exactly something you want to mention in a hospital where a police report has to be filed," Damon appears.

Of course he understands, Mr. Darkside. I wonder what kind of shady business Damon was involved in before I met him, besides Baltimore.

Stefan concedes and carries Jeremy upstairs.

"We're going to need some kind of first aid kit and medical supplies. God, Elena, I don't know. I'm not a doctor. How am I supposed to remove a bullet?"

I shake my head. How am I supposed to know? I'm just out of high school with no real skills. These are the kinds of classes they should offer in college: survival skills. Wait, _survival skills_. Outdoors. Camping. Alaric! After all, he is our guardian. He has the right to know what's going on with Jeremy and he could probably be of service right now.

"Damon, get Rick over here as fast as you can. Tell him what's going on. I think he can help."

Without saying a word, Damon rushes to find Alaric. These Salvatore men are always at my rescue.

In pure defeat and frustration, I slouch down on the floor against the bed where we laid Jeremy.

"It's going to be fine. He's going to be okay," Stefan consoles me.

"Elena, I'm good. Stop panicking," Jeremy responds feebly.

"Don't even try to comfort me when my brother is laying there bleeding. I'm not even close to being important right now. Do something, Stefan!"

Jeremy nods to Stefan. Stefan takes a seat beside me.

"I don't know what I'm doing and if I try something, I could cause an even bigger problem. It's smarter to wait for Rick."

"But I don't want to wait for Rick! Why don't we know how to do this? Why can't we save my brother? I didn't think I'd ever have to know how to save my brother from being shot but I do now so maybe I should learn! Briarview isn't a safe place anymore so maybe we should all—" I stop short when Stefan pulls me into a tight embrace.

"Elena," he whispers, his voice muffled against my neck.

"Time is on our side. Rick will have plenty of time to figure out a better way to get this done. Okay? Don't panic."

I will not cry. Not today.

"Okay," I concede.

Within minutes, I hear footsteps running up the stairs. However, three individuals enter. I hardly recognize the woman with Damon and Rick.

"Elena, I'm not sure if you remember her but this is Dr. Meredith Fell. She helped with Jenna's case."

"Rick…we can't have doctors…" my voice trails off.

"Meredith's a friend. She's doing us a favor."

The mysterious woman dons a genuine smile. I believe she really does want to help. For some odd reason, I trust this woman.

For a good hour or so, Meredith and Alaric work on removing the bullet and stitching Jeremy back up. I eventually leave the room. There's too much blood. I can't stand the sight of it anymore. So much blood has been spilled this year.

Eventually, Jeremy recovers from his anesthetic and calls for me.

"How're you feeling, Jer?"

"I'm good," he quietly responds.

"Elena," he continues, "I'm not going to let Klaus torment you. I'm taking care of this."

"And what are you going to do? This is just an example of how much stronger he is. You can't do anything."

"Why haven't you told Stefan? Aren't they friends? He could do something."

I wish, Jer. I wish.

"He threatened me and I'm not putting anyone in harm's way. End of story. We'll find a way around this."

Defiantly, I storm out of the room and run straight into Damon. He grabs me by my shoulder and guides me into his room.

"Alright, so what's the real story?"

Damon eyes me suspiciously.

"Jeremy was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Not buying it."

This is going to be harder than I thought.

"He was buying drugs. He's using again, I guess."

"And what? He couldn't pay the guy?"

Why do drug dealers usually shoot people? God, I'm sheltered.

"I don't know, I guess."

Damon still isn't buying it.

"Why were you with him while he was buying drugs? Elena, I see that look in your eyes. It's like you're carrying the guilt of 1,000 murderers. Why do you blame yourself if this was just a drug deal gone bad?"

He knows me far too well. I can't believe he can sense my emotions just by looking at my eyes. Quickly, I look away.

"Because I'm his sister and I'm supposed to protect him. And I couldn't. That's all."

Angrily, Damon stands and walks out.

"If you don't want to let me in, fine. But don't expect my help next time if you're not going to be honest with me," he snarls with a slam of the door.

Oh, Damon. I'm so sorry I can't share this with you. More than anything I want to tell him what's weighing on me. Well, truth be told, I want to tell Stefan more. Stefan can actually do something about this. He could talk to Klaus. Damon would just kill him. That wouldn't solve our problems completely.

Shortly after, like clockwork, Stefan enters the room.

"Elena, you've got to tell us the full story."

Great, him too?

"Damon's just trying to piece together all the weirdness of this week and he's seeing correlations that aren't there. There's nothing going on. Jeremy's attack was coincidental."

I can't risk anything. I won't be selfish and let Damon in. Because that could mean losing my brother. This attack is my wakeup call. No more games. Klaus means business.

"I think Jeremy was targeted," Stefan admits.

But wouldn't Stefan be rational if I told him the truth? He could help. He'd calculate and take his time in dealing with Klaus. He's not driven by instinct like Damon. All of this just to keep Stefan happy, though? There has to be a larger price that Klaus hasn't told me yet. Wait—keep Stefan happy? If I tell Stefan, he can play along. He can make this work in my favor. Maybe the real solution is to tell Stefan, though I still cannot tell Damon.

"I think he was too," I suggest.

"Did you see the attacker?"

"Yes."

"Did you recognize him or her?"

"Yes."

Stefan becomes angry and stands up.

"This coy game isn't funny, Elena. What did you see?"

I take a deep breath in and stand as well.

"If I tell you, I need you to promise your secrecy. You'll do what I say and not overreact because this is a _very_ delicate situation. It's a lot more serious than you think."

Stefan's eyes narrow and his expression becomes sober.

"Of course."

"You can't tell anyone. Especially not Damon."

Stefan grins.

"He's not exactly the person I run to with my secrets."

I nod and let the floodgates open.

"Klaus is blackmailing me."

Stefan's face contorts as he attempts to process what I've said.

"What?"

"I went down to the docks the other day and saw Klaus in the middle of a drug deal. Now he's blackmailing me because, as it so happens, Jeremy is one of his customers."

"Klaus did this to Jeremy?" Stefan shouts.

"Shh! It's probably hard for you to believe because he's your friend, but he's trouble, Stefan. He approached Jeremy and I today and flat out threatened both of us. Then he shot Jeremy as a warning. I can't risk breaking our deal, but I am right now. I have to tell you because you're the only one who can help. You know him."

Stefan nods, still trying to process all the malicious details.

"What kind of deal did you make?"

Another deep breath in and I continue.

"He made me promise to stop seeing Damon because of the effect it's having on you. He needs you and I. We're his keys to the town or something ridiculously evil. It seems frivolous but he's serious. He's watching us all the time. That's why he came to the party…er..intervention."

"So you've been avoiding Damon so Klaus doesn't expose Jeremy?"

"Stefan, please don't be upset. This isn't the time."

"No, I'm not. I'm just deducing what's going on."

This time, I believe him. He's not selfishly whining over another defeat. He's really trying to figure out a way around his. My decision to let Stefan in on the Klaus fiasco was wise. I'm sure of that now.

"Alright. First, Elena, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I never realized the guy was this big of a whack job. But we can work through this. I'm glad you came to me. I'd confront Klaus, but if he's this serious about his deals, I don't want to risk it. Clearly there's a lot I don't know about the guy. So I guess for now we just go along playing his game. I'll act confident and pleased that you're not with Damon. Just keep pretending Klaus is 'watching' all the time."

"So we just play along until eventually he lets me off the hook?"

"Or until I come up with a better plan."

Great, because Stefan is known for his fabulous plans. But he's being helpful and sincere. I couldn't ask for a better ally in this fight. We're going to make it out of this, I can feel it again: hope. Hope surges through my veins and radiates through the air of the darkened room.

"Thanks for trusting me," Stefan breathes and dons a slight smile as Damon walks through the door.

"So you can trust Stefan with whatever truth you're keeping yet you avoid me. I thought this was 'bigger than all of us,' Elena? I thought this was about your family?" Damon vents.

Stefan turns to face the door.

"Damon, don't," Stefan warns.

"Why? Why can you tell him?"

Different scenarios spin through my mind. What can I tell him? What new lie can I concoct? I could say Stefan's the only one who could understand or come up with a solution but Damon won't accept that. Why don't I just tell him the truth? Maybe he won't be irrational. He often surprises me.

No, Elena! You can't do this to him again. His life is on the line. Klaus is out to get everyone. I can't let Damon be involved in this. He's already been wounded. I almost lost him once and I don't ever want to go through that again. He can't know. I'll protect him no matter what the cost.

I turn to Stefan. His expression is blank. It seems as though he has no decent excuses either.

"Well?" Damon repeats.

I've got to keep Damon at bay. No risk taking. A temporary sacrifice must be made. I just hope this doesn't kill him before it's too late for the truth.

Shakily, I begin spewing falsehoods. Well, half falsehoods.

"I've been having feelings for Stefan again. That's the secret, okay? You wanted to know so badly. I didn't want to hurt you but you've left me no choice," I say warily.

My palms are sweating and my whole body is shaking. This lie could kill me. Hell, it already is. I feel as if I'm melting. It made sense in the moment, but now I feel like I've torn up Damon's soul—his kind, gentle soul.

"No," he mutters, "No…"

Stefan turns away from the two of us awkwardly, most likely grinning.

"I'm sorry. Damon, I'm so sorry."

"I don't believe you," he says barely audibly.

"I'm sorry. It all started at my house. When we went upstairs to talk, something just clicked. An old flame ignited and everything just felt so warm and comfortable. I don't know, Damon. I just feel like that's where I belong right now."

My chest is throbbing. This lie is tearing me apart. Sure, I felt comfortable with Stefan, but that's not what I want. I wouldn't choose that over the rush of excitement I feel with Damon. I love him. I want to be with only him, but he can't know that or he'll keep fighting.

"You told me you loved me. That night. You came to see me and told me you were worried about your family. So you lied to me?"

Tears are swelling in Damon's eyes like black oceans of despair. My heart might as well break through my chest and light itself on fire. I can't stand to see him in so much pain. How could I do this to him? At this moment I'd rather risk his life and tell him the truth.

But I can't. I'm not going to be selfish.

"I'm sorry. I was still figuring things out but now I know. So, that's what I was telling Stefan. I asked him not to tell you. So he thanked me for trusting him with my feelings."

Damon nods, holding back waterfalls of sorrow. Love destroys him every time. I could've come up with a better excuse. What was I thinking?

"Well fuck both of you. I'm done with this twisted crap. God, you deserve each other with your needy games and disregard for everyone else's feelings. Hope you enjoyed the family reunion, brother, I'm gone," Damon sneers.

The majestic Prince of Darkness exits the room as I try to capture the scene of my love, in his black leather jacket and v neck tee, like a picture in my mind. I don't want to lose it. If I hold onto him in my mind and in my heart, I can't lose him. He'll understand what I was doing eventually.

"I never knew that could hurt so much. Stefan, I feel like I tore apart my own insides."

"Is that all you could think to tell him?"

"You didn't seem to have any better ideas! And I knew he wouldn't dig further into this because this is his biggest fear. Losing me to you, like Katherine."

"The fear is mutual. Too bad it's only real for one of us," Stefan mutters.

Of course. This isn't the time to delve into our chaotic love triangle and everyone's fear of losing me to the other. The lie was horrible. I've never been good at thinking on my feet. Is it too late to rush and tell Damon the truth?

"I have to go tell him. This isn't fair."

As I race towards the door, Stefan grabs my arm, hindering my exit.

"Elena, no. It's too dangerous. I know Damon. He won't play along. He'll want action."

Why must every aspect of my life be so complicated lately? Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful that my brother is alive. I'm thankful for Rick's reappearance. My friends are wonderful, and I have two men at my side who love me more than anyone ever has. But then there's Klaus. And the whole 'Damon vs. Stefan' saga is still looming the background. Not to mention, my mind is still reeling from Jenna's death. It's just too much to handle all at once. I'm trying so hard to protect everyone love, but I can't protect them all at once. And I'm getting caught in the crossfire.

Maybe it really is better to keep Damon out of this Klaus drama. Almost losing him once was enough. I can't go through it again, and neither can Stefan.

"Fine. But this plan of pretending is awful. I can't do it!"

Suddenly, Stefan becomes visibly upset.

"You can't pretend you love me? It's that difficult for you to tap into feelings that miraculously disappeared less than a month ago?"

This subject is still quite sore for Stefan. He probably assumes I'm heartless. I feel nothing for him, as far as he knows. How did I move on so quickly? Maybe I am heartless. But I do have feelings for Stefan. They just aren't as prominent as what I feel for Damon. They're easier to bury and forget. What I had with Stefan is like a child's tattered blanket. It's seen it's rough times, but it's soft and comfortable. Sometimes you want to return to it for security, sometimes you just miss the feeling of its presence. But either way, I've grown up and matured. I've outgrown my 'blanket.'

"Stefan, please don't go there. I don't want to fight with you. I don't have to pretend. I'll always love and care for you. I just don't want to put on this show and create all this unnecessary drama."

Much to my dismay, he remains silent.

"I just don't want to sit here and take any of this. I want to get out of here. Can we just go somewhere?"

Finally, Stefan smiles.

"You want to avoid Klaus by fleeing the state?"

I nod. It sounds ridiculous, but maybe I just need to get out of Georgia. The thought of a new adventure ignites thousands of sparks in my veins. Excitement takes over. Going away could solve all of my problems. Or maybe that would just be running away. And that never fixes anything.

"What could Klaus do if Jeremy and I weren't here?"

"Then let's go. A trip could be good for all of us."

"And just where would we go?"

"We'll I know you're partial to Chicago..."

He chuckles.

"There are some places I'd like to forget, that being one of them."

Chicago probably isn't for me. I don't lead a fast paced life. But where could Stefan take me? Where can we escape to? My heart desires something foreign, beautiful, and thrilling. I wish I could bring Damon with me. We could backpack across Europe. We could fall in love traversing the Champs Élysées or making wishes at the Trevi Fountain underneath the stars. But this adventure is mine to walk alone I suppose.

"What about Paris?"

"That's quite a distance from Briarview..."

"I need to get out of Briarview. You don't have to go with if you don't want to."

"No, I'm going. I'm not sticking around to be a pawn in Klaus's game. Paris it is."

And just like that, our plans are made.


	46. Synesthesia

I wake to a new morning: a morning full of colors and promise. Something new is on the horizon. The sun is blaring through my window in the brightest shade of white. Today, I'll explore new territory. Maybe I'll fall in love with the city, maybe I'll fall in love with Elena. Whatever comes, I'm prepared. I'm ready.

First comes the awkward conversation with Damon, though. I do feel guilty for not being able to tell him the truth. I don't want to hurt him, even if I still want Elena. She's in my bloodstream. I can't shake her. But then again, Damon and I are bound by blood. Is it really fair to put my love for Elena above my relationship with Damon? No, it's not. But I'm not so sure he'd agree. And I don't owe him much.

Damon rushes past my door while I begin to dress.

"Hey!" I shout.

But Damon ignores me.

"I leave for Paris tonight."

"Bon voyage," he says aggressively with a slam of the front door.

Well, I tried. I'm taking that door slam as his blessing to join Elena.

Here goes nothing.

A few hours pass and I'm waiting at the bottom of the stairs, bags packed. The rain is falling heavy on the old roof. If this is an omen, it's one I'm choosing to ignore.

"Ready?" I call out as Elena mounts the stairs.

She glances behind her longingly, capturing the image of the darkened hall in her mind as if to take it with her across the world.

"I think so," she responds while descending.

"Don't be nervous. This is going to be great."

"I'm not, I just think I may have forgotten something..."

Elena turns around and returns up the stairs quickly.

"You've been doing this for ten minutes, Elena."

And she has. She's looking for an excuse not to leave, so every time she finally descends the staircase she returns upstairs to make sure she's left nothing behind. It's pretty clear she's waiting for Damon to walk through the front door and ask her not to leave.

"It's Paris, not Mars. We'll be back," I reassure her.

"I know. It's nerve wracking, though. I'm shocked everyone's being so supportive about it. Rick, Jeremy, the college- everyone thinks I could use time away. I just don't know if I feel the same."

"Rick wants to protect you and Jeremy. You both do need to get away."

I'm not exactly the right person to accompany her, but we can't get Damon involved. And I could use a getaway myself. I'm certain I need this trip. Elena's not, though. She's pacing the hall, ponytail draped over her shoulder in a loose knot. Her expression is pensive.

"Listen, I don't want to miss the flight. It's a trip. It's not a big deal. We're just getting you and Jeremy some breathing room from Klaus. C'mon, Elena. Don't over think it."

She breathes in and breathes out forcefully.

"Fine."

Elena carries her suitcase down the stairs and wheels it right out the door without a second (or fiftieth) glance. I, however, turn to look at my childhood home. I've never left the country. Simply leaving this home was a Herculean struggle when I was young. But this is different. I'm ready to leave this time. There's nothing here for me anymore.

After picking up Jeremy and a long drive to the airport, we're finally at our gate. Elena seems anxious. Jeremy's unmoved. He seems almost bored sitting in the corner. He hasn't said much since we picked him up. Pulling him out of school for "an undisclosed amount of time" was difficult to explain to his principal. Hopefully things will settle down and we can send him back soon. Elena checks her phone every few minutes, looking for last words from Damon. Does he even know she's leaving today? They haven't crossed paths lately. It's easier for her that way. I'm not even sure if he comprehended what I said when I told him I'm leaving tonight. Maybe it's easier for him not to pay attention.

The rain continues to beat heavily upon the pavement. It's similar to one of those dramatic cinema scenes where a lover leaves to never return. Or the Parent Trap. Either way, it's foreboding and dramatic. Elena senses it too. Her melancholy visage easily shows it.

"I'm sorry, Stefan," she says to my surprise.

"Mhmm?" I mutter questionably.

"I'm putting you in this horribly awkward situation. Not only is it awkward, it's unfair. I hate myself for doing this to you. Sitting here hoping Damon begs me not to go? Who am I? You've been so kind and you haven't been judgmental and I just owe you so much for everything. I'll try not to be such a downer on this trip. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

That sincerity. That compassion. It's unmatched. She's so incredibly wonderful and I don't know how I'm ever going to get out from under her spell when she is so good and pure. I could never stop loving her. But I have to be fair to her. She's not in love with me, so I'll have to support her in pursuing her true feelings. I won't try to stand in Damon's way.

"That means a lot, Elena. But after what I did, no apology is necessary. Let's just start fresh and have a good time."

She smiles: a real smile.

"Sounds good to me! You know, Stefan, I don't know much about Europe besides Alaric's drunken tales from Amsterdam."

"Then this should be interesting. It'd be nice to make a stop in Italy, too. I have relatives I've never met over there."

The thought hadn't occurred to me until now. I do have family, somewhere. It'd be interesting to see them and get in touch with my roots. Maybe that'd help me find some common ground with Damon.

"Then we should definitely do that," Elena says with another forced grin.

It's clear to me that she's still skeptical about the whole thing, but she'll come around.

"Don't make too many plans. This trip is going to be short. I'm not running from Klaus for long," Jeremy adds.

We agree and the three of us board the plane. Elena tosses and turns for hours, trying to get comfortable on this 9 hour flight. Her head is resting on the tray, no, now the arm rest. She's up to use the restroom. My head is resting back against the seat. Elena sits back down and lets out a sigh in frustration. We both laugh. We're not exactly experienced flyers.

"Only six more hours..."

"I would rather be locked in Klaus's basement than sit here for six more hours!" Elena playfully shouts.

Eventually, we settle into comfortable positions: my head on the tray table, Elena against my side. Jeremy, who could adapt to living in a rain forest, is bothered by our constant fidgeting as he attempts to sleep on his neck pillow.

Extremely slowly, the six hours pass and the plane shakily eases its way onto the runway. Elena leans on me as we make our way off the plane, through customs, to baggage claim, and into a cab. It's about an hour cab ride from Charles de Gaulle to Paris. Jeremy's passed out against the window. Elena's asleep on his shoulder, but I watch the countryside and suburbs zoom by in the window. Everything's so different from Briarview: the cars, the license plates, the language, the scenery. But I'm enthralled by the differences. The sun eventually sets and darkness floods the scene. Light, however, breaks in once we turn down a small exit into the city. A twinkle explodes from a point in the sky, and I know we've mad it.

"Elena," I whisper as I lightly shake her arm and point.

Elena slowly opens her eyes and her face illuminates with awe.

The city of lights lay before us with a twinkling Tour Eiffel to guide our way.

* * *

**I figured our characters needed a pick-me-up, so off to Paris they go! Cannot wait to share the drama that will soon ensue. Thanks so much for reading, sharing, reviewing, etc. I'm so lucky to have any readers at all. Hope you're enjoying the story!**


	47. Revitalized Battles

"You're leaving?"

I turn to my left and the lanky brunette from last night lay tangled in white sheets. What can I say? There's nothing better to do around here. But I hope she doesn't sincerely expect me to stay.

"Your brother will be up soon and let's just say he's not my biggest fan. I'll catch you later, Vick," I whisper with a devious grin.

I carefully make my way towards the stairs until a large creek sounds from under my foot. Damn. Stealth isn't my specialty.

"Yeah, alright. Thanks, Stefan. Give Elena my best."

Well, Matt's awake. Of course Stefan checks in with everyone to let them know the prom queen is safe. Ridiculous. I haven't spoken to Elena in days and I'm doing just fine. But that's beside the point. How am I supposed to sneak past Matt? He's not the brightest, but he's also right behind the door.

I creep past his doorway and begin my descent down the stairs when the door creeks open. Instinctively, I turn. Matt isn't looking up just yet. Gotta play it cool, Damon. You're great on your feet.

"Matt," I say as a rather surprising greeting.

"What the hell are you doing here? Wha-How'd you get in?"

"Front door. This town may be pleasant but you should lock it, you know."

"What do you want?"

Of course he bought it. Dunce. But what do I want? Might as well be predictable.

"I was just wondering if you've heard from Elena? I couldn't get a hold of her, Stefan, or Jeremy and I wanted to make sure they got in alright."

"You couldn't have gone to Rick?"

"It's complicated..."

Matt rolls his eyes.

"They're fine. Just got in a few hours ago.

"Good to hear," I feign a grin.

After a few moments of silence, Matt softens up.

"Your brother asked about you, you know."

I'm intrigued. What ever could Saint Stefan be wondering about me?

"And his question was...?"

"He was just seeing how you were holding up."

"Ah, making sure I haven't set the house ablaze. I'm known for the theatrics once scorned."

Matt awkwardly looks down and then away.

"You know, I know what you're going through."

"Don't even try to relate to me, Donovan. We have nothing in common."

"Besides Elena."

"Are you forgetting that I slept with your mother or are we pretending the past few months never happened?"

Matt grimaces, but continues his sincerity.

"Everyone is someone's mother or family. It's not like you knew."

Why is the quarterback trying to be my best friend? I certainly don't need such a static character in my life. God, he's depressing. Abandoned not only by Elena, but by his own mother. The kid needs to man up. I'd rather hang out with the man who tried to kill me, at least he's got personality.

And I retreat back into my shell made of self sabotage and hatred.

"Well, I knew who your sister was last night. Maybe next time, Donovan."

I continue my cool walk down the stairs, but hasten my pace just in case he puts two brain cells together and figures out what I've just said.

Stepping off the patio, Matt calls out.

"Salvatore!"

Oh Matt, college has done nothing for you.

A few seconds later I'm in the front seat of my camaro speeding down Woodbury Avenue.

And suddenly I can't push away the thoughts any longer. The memory of Elena hits me like an avalanche. How could I have let her leave? But how could I have stopped her anyway? She loves Stefan. It makes sense. They have history. On the surface, he's nothing but good. I caught them in a rough patch. Right place, wrong timing I suppose. And now the two of them are running wild in Paris together while I have meaningless sleepovers with the townies. What's wrong with this picture?

I return home around 3 when Stefan usually has class. I don't enjoy sharing the house with him, so I make sure we have opposite schedules. However, there's another visitor at the door besides myself.

"Well hello there. Wasn't expecting anyone except Elena. Won't you please be kind enough to let me in?" Prince Charles politely but forcefully requests.

"Get lost, Klaus. She's not here and neither is my brother."

"Someone seems a bit testy. And when will she be returning?"

What's Klaus's business with Elena? Is she playing him too? I'd hardly be surprised at this point.

"Whenever they get bored of the Parisian sunsets I suppose," I respond coldly.

Klaus's jovial expression suddenly turns dark.

"Paris?"

"You heard me. The two lovebirds flew off together last night."

"And they didn't invite you along?"

"Why would they? I'm too busy for this so if you don't mind, or even if you do, move out of my way."

"Hmm, suit yourself. It's truly a shame that Elena's fled the country..."

"And why's that?"

I'm intrigued.

"She's in my debt and I cannot collect if she isn't around. The trip is quite convenient for her, wouldn't you say?"

So Elena owes Klaus something. Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that my brother is involved?

Klaus plus out his phone and sends a text.

"Well, Damon, it's been lovely as usual."

I nod and Klaus retreats.

Slowly, my mind starts piecing together the complicated puzzle that is the past few weeks. Elena's in debt to Klaus. Elena fled the country to get away from the debt? But why? What does she owe him? She's been acting strange and wouldn't be with me because of something "bigger than both of us." Could that reason be her issues with Klaus? Or her feelings for Stefan? I'm probably over thinking this. Elena wouldn't leave the country because of a silly deal with Klaus. I wish there was another explanation for her behavior, but there's not. She loves _him_.

God, I hate him. He does this to me every time. Granted, Elena was his first. But he had the nerve to reel her right back in once she realized she loved me. What a tool. She's not worth my time anymore. I've got to move past this. But I can't. I need to know if there's more to this. Is there a chance that she really did leave for reasons more than wanting a getaway with Stefan? I didn't bother to ask the questions. I didn't bother to stop her…

Maybe I should pay Rick a much needed visit. I'm not desperate for information, but I need to know if there's more to all of this before I give up hope forever. So, I hope back into my car and pull into Elena's driveway. Within second of knocking, Rick is standing before me.

"Damon…what a surprise."

"I would ask if I could come in but, hey, you tried to kill me. Mind getting me a glass of something strong?"

He opens the door and fades into the house searching for the alcohol. What a good pal. I take a seat on the worn couch and rest my feet on the coffee table. It's been a long day thus far.

Rick returns with a glass of whiskey. It'll do.

"Thanks, pal."

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company today?" Rick questions.

I'd rather mess with him for a while.

"I just thought I'd drop by to say hello to a friend. Do I need an ulterior motive?"

"Damon, cut the crap."

"Believe it or not you're not the worst company in Briarview. I had to deal with Dunce Donovan all morning. Trust me, this visit isn't torture."

Rick chuckles slightly and relaxes a bit. I honestly don't mind Rick. He's humorous and disdainful like myself. We both enjoy taking vengeance. Besides our completely opposite appearances we have a bit in common.

"But I do have a few questions."

"Of course," Rick sighs.

How do I word this without sounding completely pathetic? Rick probably doesn't even know the answers I'm looking for and if he does, he'll probably stay faithful to Elena and keep me in the dark.

"This is probably a longshot asking you, but do you have any idea what's going on lately? This Paris trip? What's it all about?"

Uncomfortable, Rick looks around the room and then regains his composure.

"Jeremy's been having some trouble with drugs again. Elena and I have been trying to help him out but it's just not enough."

"So you sent him on vacation?"

"Not exactly. Elena really needed some time away and Jeremy needs medical help, so she found a great treatment facility in Paris. Why it had to be Paris, I don't know. She wanted to explore Europe and I guess the facility is supposed to be top-notch."

Rick continues his spiel, but it's as if he's reading a teleprompter. Each word seems rehearsed. His nervous habit of looking down at his hands gives him away the most.

"And why did you need my brother for this?"

"Stefan is experienced with substance abuse because of your father, so he's been helping us as well. Not to mention, Elena's not competent enough to be traveling around a foreign country with just Jeremy. Stefan's traveled quite a bit more than she has, so we figured he'd be good company."

The whole story makes sense, except for the quick escape and the "Elena loving Stefan part." Not once did Rick say anything about Elena wanting Stefan there. He just seemed to be convenient.

"What's this facility called, Rick?"

"I'm not at liberty to discuss that."

"What, are you kidding me?"

"No."

As I suspected, something's up.

"And why's that?"

"It's better if people don't know what the facility is called. Most people don't even know they're in Paris. I don't want to create town gossip."

"Are people not supposed to know they're in Paris?"

"Not really. Just you, me, Matt, and school administrators."

And Klaus. Why is everything so secretive? Are they really hiding from Klaus? I wonder if Rick knows anything about the Klaus situation. I'll test the waters.

"Well, I spoke to Klaus this morning and he seemed surprised to hear they were in Paris."

Suddenly, Rick is startled and begins listening intently.

"Klaus knows where they are?"

"Well of course. He stopped by the house today and I told him."

"Damon! Why the hell would you do that!"

Bingo.

"I don't know Rick. I'm not at liberty to discuss that."

"Damn it, Damon," Rick says as he reaches for his cell phone.

Too slow, though. I obtain the phone and throw it across the room.

"I want to know what they're running from. It looks like I'm ready to cash in on my lifetime of favors."

He rolls his eyes and begins searching for the phone.

"Damon, I can't."

"Why can't I know? I don't understand why everyone is so hell bent on keeping me in the dark."

"Because you just threw a phone across the room and blew their whole cover to Klaus. You're irrational."

At least he admits Klaus is a big part of this. I'm getting closer.

"I'm irrational _because_ no one will let me in."

He gives up and sits back down on the couch.

"Damon, I want to tell you. Elena is dying to tell you, I'm sure. It's just not a good idea."

"So you're really going to deny me the favor?"

"I know I owe you, but I'm going to stay loyal to Elena and Jeremy because that's where my loyalty lies overall. And it's the right thing to do."

I grin.

"Fine."

If no one in Briarview will tell me, I'll have to go straight to Paris. As I stroll out the door without looking back, I check my wallet for cash: ten dollars and an old bus ticket. That should get me to Paris, right?

This isn't going to be easy. Stefan got access to our parents' assets and life insurance because I fled. So, I don't have much. There's some in the bank, but, believe it or not, I've been saving that money to travel the world. I don't have much saved, but I also don't want to waste it on a quick trip to Paris simply to ask a question. Then again, isn't it worth it? What if I find out exactly what I want to hear? What if Elena still does love me? If I don't go find out, I'll be left wondering. I'll drive myself mad. Another night with a meaningless townie girl and I'll go insane.

Well, I'll need to find a good deal. The local travel agent might be my best bet: April Young. She's another tragic townie, doomed to stay here forever. She sells luxurious trips, but she never takes them. Tragic. I open the door and the shop bell's jingle.

"One moment and I'll be right with you!" April calls out.

She's about to seal the deal with a petite brunette with luscious curls. The brunette's frame is mesmerizing, quite an exotic beauty for Briarview. Yet, it's familiar. Then I hear it. The child-like, yet phony and tired laugh rings out like a plane crash. She turns and walks towards me, as if expecting my appearance.

"Walk with me," she whispers and grabs my shoulder, pulling me out of the office.

She doesn't let go until we're behind a store's garage.

"What the hell, Katherine?"

"Keep your voice down you idiot!" she chides.

"Wow, what a greeting! The last time I saw you you'd just left me for death!"

"Well, shit happens. You got the letter, I'm sure."

"Oh yeah, the letter fixed everything."

She rolls her doe eyes and pulls something out of her pocket.

"Two hotel vouchers and a travel guide. I know exactly where you're headed and I'm coming with you."

Well, now I'm confused. Why is Katherine interested in going to Paris? And how did she know?

"You're probably confused. All will be explained on the flight over."

"But…..there aren't even tickets in this packet."

"Let's just say I'm seeing a guy with a lot of money and a plane. And he wants to help."

A dark black town car pulls up beside the alley and a window slightly rolls down.

"Almost ready," Katherine calls out.

So let's recap. A wealthy man in a town car wants to send me to Paris with Katherine. And apparently we have the same goal? So we're all trying to win Elena back? Or could this be Klaus related?

"Damon, we don't have time to talk here. _He_," she whispers, pointing to the town car, "cannot be seen here. So we have to go, now."

"And how do I know I'm not just walking into another death trap?"

"You don't. Guess you'll just have to trust me," she whispers barely perceptibly with a wily smirk.

Who am I kidding? I'd never pass up an opportunity for adventure. And I'll never stop trusting Katherine Pierce.


	48. Belle du Jour

Bonjour. The Parisian sun greets me with friendly, bright rays as I walk onto the balcony. Salle de Wagram is absolutely gorgeous in the morning. The last two nights are a blur. We got in quite late and had dinner at a local café. Then, around midnight, we dropped Jeremy off at the facility where he's planning to get some help for the next two weeks. I hope it's as good as they say. I feel awful about bringing him all the way here to get treatment just because Stefan and I wanted a European getaway. We probably could've gone anywhere else to avoid Klaus, but this was the most aesthetically pleasing choice.

Yesterday, I spent most of the day in bed trying to get used to the time change. However, I've got this morning to myself, I suppose. Stefan's out at the farmer's market buying fruit and pastries. He'll probably take his time writing at some local hangout and come back around noon as he did yesterday. He adapted so easily to the time change. I, however, have succumbed to it. How could I possibly sleep when the most beautiful city in the world is at my feet?

Oh, that's right. I'm still incredibly and inescapably depressed. I just want to see him. I want to tell him the truth. More than anything, I want to see the wave of relief wash over him when I tell him that I lied. I'll tell him that I still love him and everything will be right, or as right as it can be.

Enough Damon day dreaming. Stefan's phone has been buzzing for the past ten minutes and it's driving me insane. I'm not big on invading people's privacy, but clearly this is an emergency. However, a name flashes across the screen that causes me not to pick up: a name I hoped I'd never see again. Katherine. What in the world could she want? Hasn't she done enough damage? I cannot believe she'd be calling Stefan. Three hundred years wouldn't be enough time for him to heal from what she did to him and his family.

Should I pick up? Should I call back? I want to give that crazy, manipulative, conniving bitch a piece of my mind. Then again, she's the last thing we need right now. Klaus is more than enough of a villain for us. Enough distractions, I'm going out. After slipping on a sundress and my favorite cherry red sweater, I'm out the door, strolling down Salle Wagram towards Arc de Triomphe. Every structure in this city is beautiful. The tall buildings with ornate detailing and columns show me part of the world I've never even imagined. Why is this the first time I'm leaving Georgia? There's so much out there I haven't seen. I need more of this in my life.

It's a gorgeous day. There's not a single cloud in the sky or a worry in my head. Well, that's a lie. The metro calls my name. Where to, Elena? From my stop, I take a brief train ride to Saint Germain des pres. The Latin Quarter awaits for the breakfast of my choice. The winding streets are like a maze, but every outcome of the maze is intriguing and exciting. A delicious egg sandwich from a street meat market will do the trick. Among the tourists, I search for a familiar face. Alas, there are none. I'm completely alone in this city—in this country even. Well, there is Stefan. But we haven't talked much since we've been here. I think he doesn't want to mess with my head. And that's good. The last thing I need is more confusion about the Salvatore brothers. I should bring back a few silly souvenirs for Caroline and Bonnie. I miss them dearly and haven't been able to contact them since I left. I love them to death, but they have big mouths and I can't have Klaus knowing we're here.

A cheesy light up Eiffel Tower will make Caroline incredibly happy. She'll probably tell people she went to Paris and brought it back, typical Car. But what should I get for Bonnie? Chocolates would probably do the trick, but I wouldn't buy them at a gift store. I'll pick up a few trays of Fauchon at the airport on the way out. Who doesn't love chocolate?

As I'm waiting in line at the gift shop, a horrifyingly recognizable accent blares in my ears. Luckily, it's not Klaus. However, a snobby blonde look-a-like stands two spots in front of me, yelling about the weather on her phone.

"It's much colder than I thought! Niklaus, please come pick me up!"

Oh God, no. They're here. Both of them are here. How could they possibly have found out? Only Rick and the school knew! Well, Matt knew too, but he'd do anything to protect me. We told him it was serious. I need to tell Stefan.

Quickly, I grab my phone and send him a message.

**Klaus and Rebekah are HERE. Meet me near Sainte Chapelle as soon as you can.**

Sorry, Caroline. My souvenirs lay scattered on the ground as I flee the scene. I literally run all the way to the church. That's not suspicious at all. Hopefully, Klaus isn't near and doesn't see the foolish American girl running through the streets. I hide in the shadows near the staircase to the church. After fifteen minutes of waiting, Stefan finally walks up.

"Where are they?"

"I saw them near rue Severin at a gift shop. Well, I just saw Rebekah. But she was telling Klaus to come get her…."

"So they're in Paris and they have a car. Is he really this desperate to keep you quiet? He's insane!"

"Stefan, I think there's more to this than we know."

"We'll figure it out, but we need to get out of here."

"Out of Paris? We just got here!"

"They know we're tourists and we won't leave the main city. They'll find us."

"And what will one grown man and his unimpressed sister do? We're adults. He wouldn't just attack us."

"What if he goes for Jeremy? We don't know what help he has, Elena."

"It's Paris. He's desperate. He probably doesn't have a plan."

"Well, we're not taking any risks. Let's just pack up and go."

"I'm not leaving Jeremy."

"He's in a treatment facility!"

"Yeah, the most famous one on this side of the Atlantic. It's not going to be hard for them to figure that out!"

Buzz…Buzz..Buzz

"That stupid phone won't stop! God, tell her to leave us _alone_!"

"Who?" Stefan asks and looks down at his phone.

"You didn't check your phone earlier?"

"No, I just opened your text and didn't look…Why would she be calling?"

Why is he even interested? Does he not remember what she did?

"Stefan, focus!"

"No, Elena. You don't understand. Katherine isn't the type to just call. And especially this many times."

"But she wouldn't be trying to help us with the immediate danger we're in right now so it's not important."

I cannot believe he's letting Katherine distract us right now. We need to make a plan.

"You're right. We'll go to Versailles. It's about thirty minutes outside the city and the outskirts aren't that touristy."

"Good. Let's go."

* * *

**First of all, I want to apologize for the hiatus. I've been so busy preparing for school and working that I haven't had much time to edit or write. But thank you so much for continuing to read. I have the next few chapters written/planned out so there shouldn't be a long wait. Thanks so much for the support, reviews, etc!**

**Liz**


	49. New Alliances

"You're Klaus's what?"

"I'm his brother," Elijah repeated.

"Hmm, I always assumed Klaus spawned from hell."

Elijah chuckles.

"Somewhere along the line, my brother lost his way. I feel partly responsible."

"So you're here to what, clean up his mess?"

"Partially. I owe Katerina a favor or two."

Katerina? She really has a way of making men do her bidding, doesn't she? I'm still unsure as to what Katherine's here to save us from.

"How do I know I can trust you when neither of you will tell me what's going on?"

Katherine predictably interrupts.

"Because. You're going to Paris, were going to Paris. That's all you need to know."

Of course. Just like the rest, they probably think I'm irrational and will muck up the whole scheme.

"Kat, it's a long flight. We've got hours. What else are we going to talk about? Because I don't care to make small talk with the sinister bitch who delivered me to my death."

That might've been harsh, but I hate her. To my very core, I feel nothing but pure hatred for Katherine. I gave her everything and she had me killed. Even that letter can't make up for it. Nothing will. I'll reconcile with Stefan before I ever consider forgiving her. Not to mention, her intentions can't be sincere. She hates Elena. Why would she ever help me save the one woman I've ever loved more than her? Exactly. She wouldn't. None of this adds up.

"Damon, I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd show some sort of kindness to Katerina while we're on this trip. She's here for you."

Elijah's quite the gentleman. How strange. I've never understood Katherine's type. I guess she doesn't have one. Anyone who could aid her in her plotting is her type.

"Maybe I'll play nice once I know the rules of the game."

Katherine sighs.

"Do you want to explain it or should I?" Katherine mumbles.

It seems as though this'll be a very tiring tale. So, I lean back in my seat and cross my legs. I've got all the time in the world.

Elijah clears his throat and takes charge.

"It all began in the 1920s..."

My mind drifts back to a time of glitz, glamour, prohibition, feathers, illegal activities, and loose women. I was obviously born in the wrong decade. Though I've always been fascinated with the 20s, I don't see how what's going on with Elena now has anything to do with something that happened almost a century ago.

"You see, it wasn't a coincidence that my brother met yours in Chicago. In the 1920s my family moved to Chicago from England to strike gold in bootlegging. Your great-grandfather, Baldasarre Salvatore, was a very prominent man in the city. Let's just say he was very involved..."

"Like the mob?" I question.

"No one knows. Please allow me to continue. So, if my great-grandfather wanted to get involved in the alcohol trade, yours was the man to know. His name is even still talked about, you know. Baldasarre had great influence. My great grandfather, William Mikaelson, went to Baldasarre's restaurant every Wednesday for a year until they finally spoke. Somehow, William convinced Baldasarre to trust him and eventually the two were in business together."

And why is this pertinent information? I mean, sure, I get a free flight to Paris but Elijah is wasting my time.

"What a small world. When do we get to the part that actually affects me?"

"Well, things didn't end well for our great grandfathers. Times got tough and the pressure was on once the police began getting more and more involved. William was smuggling ale in from England, so overseas he was wanted as well. Both accused each other of ratting the other out, and you know how rats were handled in 1929 Chicago. There was a shoot out, and Baldasarre won of course. William was practically laughed out of Chicago and back to England. Now, perk up your ears because here is the part that affects you. Klaus was always fascinated with my father's tales of Baldasarre and William. He's obsessed with history and especially how it tends to repeat itself. Deep down, an anger built up inside of him because of his great-grandfather's failure. Even my father is embarrassed of the way things ended for William-working in factories in England and raising a family he never cared for until he died of consumption. Klaus promised my father he'd save the Mikaelson legacy. He'd succeed where great grandfather had failed. Father never cared for the promise, because father never cared for any of us, just like William."

"Even so, Klaus is desperate to prove himself to our father. So, once he graduated high school, he set off for Chicago to find the descendants of Baladasarre. Somehow, one of his friends at Northwestern managed to find out that Stefan was signed up for a tour. And of course Klaus was shocked because he'd searched high and low for Salvatores in Chicago. Little did he know, Stefan was coming all the way from Georgia. Well, they met, hit it off, and you know the rest. But Klaus planned to use Stefan's influence in the city. Even if you have no ties with your relatives, Stefan still has the charm and most importantly- the name."

"So let me get this straight. Klaus has been planning to use my brother to help him sell alcohol which is already legal, so he threatened Elena? None of this adds up."

"Ugh," Katherine grumbles, "Damon, think! Klaus has a drug business, not alcohol. How do you think a drug dealer becomes involved with Elena Gilbert? I'll give you a hint. The answer is moody, short, loves Nirvana...ringing any bells?"

Ah, Jeremy Gilbert. Elena's protecting Jeremy from his dealer, Klaus. Now it all makes sense. So this really was about her family. And that's why she lied to me. Maybe this could work out in my favor after all.

"So Klaus is Jeremy's dealer."

"He had to start somewhere, and what better place to test out Stefan's abilities as a wingman?"

"It's a smart plan. But it failed. Unfortunately, Stefan has my mother's moral compass. He'd never agree to any of it."

"Really, not even for Elena? Klaus is threatening her, you know. She's supposed to help him reel Stefan in, in exchange for her brother's safety."

It all floods back in short, harsh scenes. Jeremy's gunshot. Elena's panic. Stefan being able to understand. That's why she told Stefan.

"I see," I comply.

"And I knew you'd want to do something to save "precious Elena" and in the process you'd get yourself hurt. Well, I owe you one. So I'm putting aside my pride to help you and Stefan out of this...You're welcome."

How touching. I don't need Katherine or her British boyfriend's help. I'll save Elena and leave Stefan to deal with his mess. Now that I know all the details, I don't need these two. I work alone. Always have, always will.

"Well, I'm gonna get some sleep. Time change and all. Night," I say with a sly grin.

The rest of the time passes and eventually we land. It's pitch black and the air is filled with mystery. It's quite an ominous evening. I don't know what's ahead of us for this trip, but it's going to end with me getting Elena safely back to Georgia. That is for sure.

"Alright, Klaus is booked at a boutique hotel near the opera. We'll stop there first."

"Elijah, what are you planning on doing? I mean really, you never laid out any blueprints for this takedown. I don't even know your motive."

"As I said, I owe Katerina a favor or two. And I plan to mend the wrong my family has done. We were meant for much better. As for what I'm going to actually do to Klaus, I do not know. I have all the proof of his business ventures because I regrettably was involved in many. So, he must listen to me."

I've got a strange feeling that it won't be that easy. So, the three of us taxi to L'Hôtel de l'Opéra. Elijah casually strolls up to the welcome desk and inquires, in perfect French, if his brother is in. I listen intently for the attendant's response.

"Désolé, M. Mikaelson. Votre frère est parti ce matin."

"Ah, merci," Elijah replies.

"So?"

"They're gone."

"So, I'm assuming Stefan and Elena are gone as well. You've better hope Elena isn't with Klaus. You won't like me very much if that happens."

"To be quite honest, Damon, I don't like you very much already. Whatever happens is far from being my fault. I'm just here to help you get the job done."

I'm already sick of this guy. My plan is much more efficient.

"I'm out. Best of luck to the both of you but this clearly wasn't well thought out," I say as I walk away slowly.

"Damon! And just what do you plan on doing?" Katherine shouts after me.

"Oh, I don't know. Where would Elena go if Paris suddenly became dangerous? She'd go to get Jeremy." I continue walking.

"Isn't that a little obvious? Klaus would surely find them there," Elijah retorts.

"It's the only lead we have."

Silence ensues. I continue walking but occasionally hear their footsteps behind me. I turn to see Katherine roll her eyes and sigh.

"I'm here to help you, Damon. So, were going too."

Finally, I let the months of built up anger burst through.

"Really, Katherine? You're here to help me? Bullshit. Stefan's in danger. That's why you're here. You would never help me with Elena. You just want to save Stefan so he'll forgive you. You've never cared about me."

Katherine's face fills with rage, with tears swelling behind those normally dry eyes.

"You know I care about you. Did you even read the letter? What I did was the worst mistake I've ever made. I regret it. And it's not easy for me to regret things, Damon. I don't look back. But don't even stand here and try to tell me why I'm doing this solely because you can never admit to yourself that people actually care."

And here I am: in a shouting match on a Parisian street corner at 10:00 P.M. This conversation is strangely familiar, though. Arguments often ensue when I can't let people care for me. But it's true. I can't. The second I allow myself to reciprocate anyone's feelings or even simply accept them, I become weak. They usually leave or burn me in the end, so what's the point? I thought Katherine cared before but she tried to kill me. She can't be trusted.

"Whatever you say, Kat."

My pace hastens, but I hear no footsteps behind me. I turn and see Katherine standing back at the same street corner and Elijah waiting for her next move.

I sigh.

"C'mon, Kat."

"Say you need my help!" She shouts.

"No."

But it's true, I do need it. Elijah and Katherine can handle Klaus while I sneak Elena out of there. Katherine still doesn't move.

"You know I do, come on." I don't turn back this time, but I hear the footsteps pick up once again.

We take a taxi to the rehabilitation center. It's long past visiting hours, so Katherine flirts with the mail desk attendant while Elijah and I attempt to find Jeremy's room. Eventually, we find the room and the two of us run inside.

However, there is no moody punk teenager in the bed. In fact, no patient is in the room. But there is a tall man with his back to us standing near the window.

"Niklaus."

"Elijah, why am I not surprised to see you?" Klaus says as he turns around with a disgruntled expression.

"Maybe because I'm your living conscience, considering you lack one in that solid skull of yours."

"Alright, enough of the angsty brother chit chat. Where's Jeremy?" I interrupt.

"I assume Elena and Stefan got to him before I could. They're quite good at this cat and mouse game."

Well, at least they're safe. I mean, at least she's safe.

"Hm, sounds good. Nice catching up with you," I say as I turn for the door.

"Damon, what are you even doing here? Making a complete fool of yourself again? Chasing your unrequited love through Europe?"

"No,I'm here to rescue the woman I love. The one who loves me. But she can't admit it because some egotistical sociopath won't allow it."

Klaus let's out a loud laugh.

"So you think it was difficult for her to run away to the city of love with Stefan?"

I won't stand here and let him try to sway my allegiance.

"Goodbye, Klaus."

"May the best man win!" He calls out with a laugh.

Elijah and I exit the room and grab Katherine.

"So?" She asks.

"They're gone."

She nods and we all begin thinking intently.

A van of men pulls up outside, and they're not your average Briarview men. They're large and presumably armed. I don't think we quite understand what were up against. Elijah breaks the silence.

"It seems as though my brother has called for reinforcements."


	50. Lion's Defeat

**Random suggestion: Listen to "Get Up" by Barcelona while reading this chapter. It's quite fitting and tragically beautiful. Thank you so much for reading!**

* * *

Out the window all I see is darkness. The Parisian city lights aren't even a glimmer anymore. Nothing can be seen from here. Elena and I settled in the country outside Versailles. We managed to pick up Jeremy on the way. Sneaking him out of the treatment center wasn't easy. We would've checked him out, but that requires Rick's permission and we didn't want to worry him.

But hell, I'm worried. We're all worried. I have the strangest feeling that all of this is bigger than us. We don't know what we've gotten ourselves into. I've also got the feeling that this is all my fault. Even if Jeremy didn't become involved with Klaus, I would've gotten Elena into this mess. Everything I touch surely crumbles and I'm struggling to piece it back together.

"Stefan?" Elena asks barely audibly.

Instinctively, I turn.

"Yes?"

"What are we going to do? After this, I mean."

What a great question. And the answer is: I have no clue. Where will we go? Why are we so frightened by Klaus that we flew to another country? And why are we still running? I guess we'll either have to keep running or we'll have to face him and fix this.

"I don't know, Elena. I really don't. I want to fix this for you but I'm stumped."

She half smiles.

"You don't have to fix it for me. This is our problem to fix together, okay?"

She takes my hand and smiles. Elena has a way of making everyone feel okay. Her presence is comfort itself. If I had to be stuck in a foreign country with anyone else, I'm glad it's her. I smile back and squeeze her hand tightly.

I glance over and see that Jeremy's finally asleep. Elena relaxes back on the tiny bed in our attic "suite." The hotel's a dump, but it's a great hideout near a hill. My phone buzzes once more. It's Katherine, again.

**Katherine: Please pick up!**

The red circle by my messages indicates I have fifteen missed texts. Only five are from Katherine, though. Surprisingly, the others are from Damon and one from Rick.

**Rick: Damon knows. Sorry.**

Ah, and that explains the texts from Damon. His messages are littered with "what the hell" and "typical Stefan," but only the last three manage to grab my attention. And that is because, somehow, Damon is here: in France. Oh, it was completely out of line for me to assume he'd do something "irrational." Flying to another continent on whim is the complete opposite of irrational, right? God, he's warped.

Despite my better judgment, I dial the familiar numbers that connect me to my brother.

"Finally! Are you done trying out failed plans?" He snares.

"How...why are you here?"

"You'd know that if you responded to anyone's messages! Kat's been trying for days!"

"….Kat? Katherine's with you? Damon, what the hell is going on?"

"You'd like to know that, wouldn't you? Maybe you should clue us in on your whereabouts first."

Ha, that's funny. There's no way in hell I'm sharing anything but a pitchfork with Katherine Pierce. She clearly cannot be trusted and I'm still shocked at the fact that Damon has even agreed to share a zip code with her.

"Did you forget that your partner here tried to murder you?"

Damon laughs a bit too loudly.

"That was her? I completely forgot. Stefan, she's on our side. She owes us."

"No."

I know Damon's always had a soft spot for Katherine, but this is a bit excessive even for him. Why in the world would Katherine want to help with our Klaus problems? How could she even be of service to any of us? She's been away for months. You know, it's incredible how you could love someone so much at one point and then feel nothing but hatred at a later time. There's no nostalgia in my heart. The Katherine I once knew was a facade. And this Katherine surely will be as well. We'll never know what side she's playing for.

"Then I'll come alone. I'll get Elena and leave. Katherine won't have to know a thing."

"You're just going to screw this up."

He takes in a large breath to calm himself.

"This whole thing is your fault. I'm not the one who caused all these problems. You are."

And how could I argue with that? It's true. All of this mess with Klaus is on me. I met Klaus in Chicago. I slept with Rebekah. I lost Elena. I brought him to Briarview. And now he's out for the blood of everyone I've ever cared about. Anger, regret, fear, and loss overwhelm my body. A sudden urgency for Damon's help takes over. I need my big brother and I'm too proud to admit it. Damon is clever, I'll give him that. Yet, I always refuse to trust him. But he always has Elena's best interests at heart. Maybe I should hand him the reigns and deal with the fallout myself.

"So what's your plan?"

"Wow, that silence was deafening, Stefan. Is that the sound of defeat?"

"It's not a competition, Damon...But there's nothing more I can do for Elena and Jeremy."

Damon sighs.

"I know. But unlike you, I know what Klaus wants. And it has nothing to do with either of them. They're distractions."

Damon's always three steps ahead. He's got it all figured out. And I'm sitting here brooding over my failures. This is how it's always been. I do trust him to help Elena. No matter how much I fight it, I trust him and know he's her best option right now.

"And what's that?"

"Like I said, long story. I'd love to tell you about it once we meet."

And I finally concede.

"We're on the outskirts of Versailles: straight down the main street from the château and make a right, then another, and follow the winding road until you reach a hill. There's no road leading up to the inn. You'll have to walk over the hill and then you'll see the lights."

"Thanks, brother."

He takes it all so lightly and it baffles me. Damon is like a Spartan headed for battle. He knows his strategy and sees a clear path to his goal. He's unafraid and determined. In all honesty, I envy it. But I've got to set aside any negative feelings for my brother starting now- at least for this trip. His intentions are gold when it comes to her. In fact, everyone's are. Damon will sweep in like a knight in black armor to rescue the defiant princess. And where does that leave me? I"m left to deal with the awful mess I've made. And the worst part is that this is exactly what I deserve.

"I'll see you soon," I breathe into the phone as I give up the last piece of my pride.


	51. Awaited Arrival

My mind's a mess, but what's new about that? There's no light in this room besides one flickering candle in the corner by Jeremy's bed. He's laying sprawled out on top of the sheets, but he's out like a light. And then there's Stefan. He terrifies me. He's hauntingly beautiful, but his face isn't what it used to be. He's lost everything and it shows. Just when he thought things were looking up, it all went up in flames. I know Stefan truly considered Klaus a friend. And Stefan doesn't have many friends, so this has got to be hard. He's taking it all on himself at once. I can't tell if it's my compassion or the old flame that makes me want to cross the room and fall into his arms. I've been trying so hard this whole time to be strong, to be defiant. I never wanted to be that weak girl who fell apart again, but this is a total mess. I have the right to cry, don't I? I'm a world away from everything I know- and for what? Nothing''s been accomplished. Klaus is here. He followed us. He found us easily. I don't want to keep running. And I'm terrified Stefan's going to leave. I know he'd walk through fire for me, but I can see it in his eyes. There's nothing else we can do but be sitting ducks. Why should he stay with me? I've done nothing for him. All i've done the past few months is screw with his mind and leave him in the dust. All of these mixed messages should've made him hate me. Stay with me. Set me free. Don't love me. Hold me. Don't touch me. Protect me. God, Elena. What are you doing to the poor guy?

There's nothing I can contribute to the effort besides compassion. I can't give him what he wants because what he wants is me. And I can't help it that I belong to someone else. Spiritually, physically, and mentally I am Damon's. You know, I haven't said his name in a while. I've tried not to think of him, but all of my trying has ended in failure. He's the moon, the stars, etcetera. He's the one who makes the barely touched Coldplay on my iPod make sense. All the cheesy love songs on the radio are beginning to show their appeal. I've never had this ache in my stomach that blooms whenever I'm away from him. I feel like a lovesick teenager. It's disgusting and it's not me. But why didn't he come after me? If Damon loved me half as much as he claimed to, he would've stopped me from getting on the plane. Or he at least would've tried! He let me run off to Europe with his brother and never said a word. It hurts. It really does. That's all I've got to say about that. As the candle is at the end of it's wick, I cross the room and take a seat beside Stefan. He turns to face me with a look of total defeat.

"We're going to get through this," I say as I lace my hand with his.

"You are, Elena."

His response takes me by surprise. Normally, he'd fake a smile and agree. But not tonight, something's changed.

"What do you mean?"

"You're going to get out of this because there are people who can do more for you than I can. I hate admitting it. I've messed everything up. Literally everything."

"Stefan," I place my hand on his leg encouragingly, "you couldn't have prevented any of this if you tried."

"No, I could've. I could've prevented all of it."

"Are we talking about Klaus?"

Stefan looks away and remains silent. It's not an awkward silence, though. We're both mentally acknowledging the stunningly handsome elephant in the room. It always comes back to this.

"Nothing could've stopped what happened with Damon."

I'm not sure if that's the most sympathetic choice of words, but it's honest. My feelings for Damon originated the day we met. We've got similar souls, Damon and me. It's not just the most passionate, real love I've ever felt, but it's a connection between the fire inside both of us. We have a similar flame that burns so bright when we allow it to. I'm not sure how to explain it, but we're almost kindred spirits. Falling for Stefan was safe, predictable. But falling for Damon was inevitable. The stars were aligned just for the two of us. And I'm sure of it.

"It would've happened either way. Even if I never met you, somehow I feel I would've met him. He's changed me, Stefan. It's a change I needed."

He nods.

"I know. And he's going to be the one to save you. Maybe I'm doing such an awful job because it was never rightfully my job in the first place."

But no response escapes my lips. Because what Stefan has said makes sense. Not only does my hand fit perfectly in Damon's, our lives somehow just mesh. Every part of me that feels empty is filled by him. Every strength I lack, he makes up for. It's Damon's destiny to complete me, and mine to complete his. Who knew all of this wisdom about my relationship was inside of Stefan?

Something's missing from this conversation, though. My romanticized thoughts overshadowed Stefan saying Damon's going to save me. Not that I need some white knight to rescue me, but I'm curious as to why he thinks that.

"What do you mean Damon's going to save me?"

Stefan bitterly grins and shakes his head.

"Damon…is here."

My heart stops beating for what feels like an eternity. The words I'd been imagining in my mind and writing down over and over on mental paper are finally being spoken. All the fantasies I concocted in my sleep of Damon swooping in and making all of this go away are playing back in my mind. He's here. Even if this all ends up ridiculously messy, Damon is here. He is fighting for me.

Trying not to seem too excited, I nod and tell Stefan I'm going to try to get some sleep. We don't know what the next few days hold, so I might as well attempt to rest while I can. He agrees and decides to keep watch while I rest. A few hours pass slowly and I've only managed to get 20 minutes of shut eye. But that doesn't even bother me. How am I supposed to sleep at a time like this? And that works on two levels, because 1. Damon, the love of my life, my missing piece, has flown across the world to find me and 2. It's like 4 P.M. in Briarview.

Stefan, on the other hand, is sound asleep with his forehead pressed against the stucco wall. It can't be comfortable, but at least it's sleep. He's got a lot on his plate, so I guess it's my turn to pick up the slack. I take a seat near the window and keep watch. Nothing exciting is happening on the French countryside, fortunately. However, just as I relax in my seat, three small knocks sound from our door.

The door knob turns as two familiar faces and one stranger step through the door. Normally, I'd be furious in the presence of one of our guests. But she doesn't matter. The strange face doesn't matter. Being in the middle of God-knows-where doesn't matter. I don't jump up from my seat, but calmly stand. My stride across the room is cool and collected, but the last two steps are wild and fanatic. I throw my arms around his neck and bury my face in his chest like a child. All of these months of pent up desire and frustration explode into this one meeting. Pure relief washes over every inch of my body as his strong arms swoop around me like wings of protection. He is here. And he loves me.


	52. Separation Reparation

"Wow, isn't this cute?" Katherine asks.

Is that what she said? It was something to that affect. I don't even know. Nothing registers but this: Elena, the woman who told me we couldn't be together just a few short days ago, is in my arms. Her head is on _my _chest. She's so delicate and fragile that I'm afraid my urgent embrace will break her into a billion pieces. But it doesn't. She just holds on tighter.

Well, this rooms a bit crowded. Much to my dismay, I'll have to let her go- for now. After today, nothing will ever cause me to let go of Elena. I'm never giving up because I know now that everything we have is real. She was waiting for me, so no other obstacles matter. Nothing matters but this. Our happy ending is somewhere on the horizon.

I nod down at Elena to let her know that we'll talk later. For now, we have to strategize.

"I see Stefan's completely given up."

"He's tired," Elena defensively remarks.

Ah, there's the familiar scent of Stefan's cheerleader. But that's okay. Something's changed between Stefan and I tonight. We have some sort of understanding that's never been there before. I think it's all because he finally admitted that I'm the smarter, better looking brother who should've been winning this whole time. Good for him. Now he can finally give those eyebrows a rest.

"Well, it shouldn't be long before Klaus and Rebekah show up here. And you should know he's got a few pals with him. I think it's just a scare tactic. And Stefan's easily scared so."

Elena's barely listening, though. She's eyeing Katherine and Elijah up and down. I should probably explain who the mysterious man in a full suit is.

"Oh, this is Elijah, who I'm sure you've heard of. Klaus's brother. He's apparently here to help. And um, I don't think the second introduction is needed."

"Almost didn't recognize her. In all of my fantasies she's in an orange jumpsuit down at Georgie State Pen."

Katherine sarcastically smiles and shoots daggers in Elena's direction.

"Quite the charmer she is," Kat retorts.

"Put your claws away, ladies. I think it's time Elijah explains to you the entirety of Klaus's little scheme."

So, Elijah begins relaying the tale I heard on the flight over. Elena listens with intense interest and wide eyes. The story is pretty fascinating, but it's also deluded and proves how determined Klaus is. That's not a good thing. He's trying to start an international operation here. And a small-town brunette with a passion for protecting her family somehow stumbled upon his well calculated scheme. Clearly, he's got a problem. And a business man such as Klaus knows how to deal with his problems.

Elijah finishes after at least twenty minutes and at least twenty questions from Elena. Kat and I sit in the corner playing tic-tac-toe like the children we tend to be.

"Finally," I Mutter, "So, Klaus just wants Stefan. He doesn't really need you. You just need to leave with me, and Stefan will deal with the rest."

Elena's look of interest turns to concern and disgust.

"We can't just leave him to get sucked into a drug ring, Damon."

"But Elena, didn't you hear? This isn't about you. He just needs you to get to Stefan. And Stefan's willing to to work this out himself."

"Do you really think Klaus would allow me to get away? I know too much."

Elijah raises one hand.

"Not to interrupt your lovers' quarrel, but Elena has an excellent point."

I chuckle and flash a grin. Clearly, my associates don't know my brother as well as I do.

"Stefan's motive for dealing with the Klaus problem is to save you, Elena. That's all he cares about. He'll take care of it."

She shakes her head disapprovingly and then hangs it in what appears to be shame.

"Then what are you doing here? If it's going to be that easy for Stefan to get Klaus off my back, what did you come to do?"

Ouch, that one stung. Did we not just nonverbally establish how much we've needed each other?

"I came because I love you, Elena. Do I need more of a reason than that?"

She purses her lips and and crosses her arms defiantly.

"I'm sorry. I'm glad you're here, but we're not feeding Stefan to the wolves."

Speaking of Stefan, he's still passed out against the wall. Shouldn't he be strategizing with us? I pull him up by his prizewinning locks until he yells.

"Agh, ah! Damon!"

"Goodmorning, Goldy Locks. You've got company," I quip.

He nearly growls back at me. I've already given him a rough night, so I should probably lay off. I don't mean to be so hard on Stefan, but this is just my nature.

"What'd I miss?" He sleepily asks.

"Nothing," Kat steps forward, "But we're wondering what you're planning to do about Klaus."

"I'll talk to him. But I don't think he's going to listen. It's not like we're that close….but I'll try."

Must I hear Elijah tell the story again? One more time and I think I'll just do Klaus a favor and cut my ears off.

"Elijah will fill you in on what you're missing. Elena," I wave towards her.

She follows me out of the room and up a few flights of stairs. The roof seems like the best place to have a talk in private because we can still keep an eye out for Klaus. Not to mention, you can't beat the view up here. It's stunning. We're surrounded by green hills and pastures. The lights from the chateau are easily seen from this altitude. _This _is how you build a capital city. All of those class trips to D.C. as a child had me fooled. This is what the world really looks like, isn't it?

Elena reaches to intertwine our hands. It feels right. It's always felt right. And we're both here admitting it.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you," she starts.

"I get it."

She shakes her head.

"No, and I understand if you're upset. But Klaus didn't want me seeing you. I needed to work on Stefan for him, I guess. And I didn't want you to be in danger too. There's no doubt in my mind that you could handle yourself, but I couldn't bear putting you in that situation."

She actually thinks I could be upset with her. I hate how weak she makes me. I couldn't possibly hold a grudge against Elena if I tried. That's probably because everything she does, she does with the best of intentions.

"Really, Elena. I understand."

She smiles at me, a beautiful smile. And it's almost a real smile- I think.

"I'm glad you're here," she whispers as she places her head on my shoulder.

And that says it all.

We sit on the rooftop for at least twenty minutes saying little. Just being able to be here together is much more significant than words. There is more to discuss, though. How will she agree to leave with me? There's no way in hell she's staying here to deal with the fallout of all of this Klaus bullshit. She deserves to be at home going to school and doing the things she's dreamed of.

"Elena, you've got to let me take you out of here."

She looks up at me.

"No, Damon. You know I won't leave until everyone's okay, so I don't know why you keep asking."

"Because I'm hoping you'll change your mind."

"You need to take Jeremy home."

A laugh escapes me. I don't mean to sound insincere, but she can't be serious.

"Not to be a total jackass, but do you honestly think I'd take Jeremy back to Georgia? I'm not going to leave you here. You're the whole reason I came here."

"Damon. Someone needs to look out for my brother. Normally, that'd be my job but someone's also got to look out for Stefan and I owe him that much."

Once Elena makes up her mind, there's no changing it. But it's unlike me to care what she wants. I'll do what's best for her, even if she doesn't agree.

"Then I'll look out for Stefan. The two of you can go home. Rick's there, you'll be fine. I trust him for God knows why."

She rolls her eyes, smiles, and leans back into me.

"How I wish that could actually happen."

"But it could. You can go home and finally get your life back to normal."

"I don't think I could handle normal again. Not after all of this."

"Well, you'll try. Really, who do you think could better protect my brother? You or me?"

Elena slowly nods her head. Am I really offering to do this? Yes, yes I am. It took a lot for Stefan to trust me today. At the end of the day, he's my brother and I don't want to see him get hurt. I'll stand by his side against Klaus. It's a family matter, after all. Apparently Salvatore vs. Mikaelson is a historic feud. How could I miss being a part of this?

"I'm staying. I'll see you on the other side, kid."

I stand and kiss her on the forehead.

"I'm really proud of you, you know," she replies as she gets to her feet.

God, I hate being sentimental but this really gets to me. I don't think I've ever done anything worth being proud of. Maybe this is my first decent decision. If so, I'm going to do my best to make it one to remember. There's a part of me that tries to do the right thing and always loses, but Elena is strengthening that part of me every time we're together. As cliche as it sounds, she makes me a better man. And I'm going to do my best to be a man who deserves her: starting with helping my brother.

I nod to acknowledge I heard her, but I try not to make a big deal out of it. Despite this, she half-smiles and kisses me softly.

"I love you, Damon."

* * *

**I hope you're enjoying the story! Please excuse any errors. I proofread the entire thing but I'm on a new computer and have yet to install Word. Thanks for your kind comments and reviews. They motivate me to write more and more. **

**Liz**


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